All's Fair in Love and War
by IDontReallyWriteAnymore
Summary: Alone and unloved, Inu Yasha lives with his abusive father. In school he is teased and rejected and at home he is beaten fiercely. When he meets Kagome will she help him find the love and happiness he's searched for all his life? [OOC][AU]
1. Porcelain

**_All's Fair in Love and War_ **

Chapter One

Porcelain

He stood at the kitchen sink. Rough, calloused hands worked their way around soapy dishes. He scrubbed vigorously at the grime stuck on it, knowing that if he didn't do it right this time he would pay for it. Picking up a sponge he rubbed at one spot on the dish and worked on it until it shone a brightwhite that stuck out from the surrounding grim and grey walls of the kitchen. After finishing with one, he carefully placed it on the stack of clean dishes. He smiled contently to himself after nicely cleaning five dirty dishes. He looked at the clock on the stove. It read 6:23. _'Good'_ he thought to himself. He was getting faster. He figured he'd be finished by 6:35. That meant he had at least an hour to himself. Or at least and hour before 'he' woke up.

The boy was alone. His normally pale toned flesh was dimmed to a dull off-gray due to the ill-lit kitchen. The glass windows on the doors near the connected living room provided some decent light during the day, but the sun was still under the horizon, lazily drifting up to signal that he had, indeed, survived another summer in a house that he would never, on his life, call home.

Sighing happily to himself, he grabbed another dish. _'Oh, I'm running out of soap.'_ he thought, looking at the almost empty bottle in front of him. He whirred around to face the cabinets but the dish accidentally slammed into the couter, knocking it out of his hands and onto the floor. It shattered into an uncountable amount oftiny pieces. The high pitched scream of the breaking porcelain still echoed through the house and pulsed in the boys sensitive eardrums.

He waited and listened; listened for the sound that scared the life out of his small lungs and racked his fragile body with a horrible pang of paralyzing fear. He remained motionless, still. From the looks of it, one might have guessed he was a statue made of the most breakable porcelain. Even his chest remained still; only small slowly drawn breaths escaped from it. And then it came. The thumping of feet and frustrated growls erupted from somewhere in the house.

Realizing what had just happened, he fell to the ground, scurrying to clean it up before 'he' found out. He had mostly all of the shattered peices in his arms and dumped them into a near by trash bin. He sighed. Maybe he could get away with this! Maybe the person in the nearby room would go back to sleep and he would be temporarily postponed from the pain he knew he was due for.

Or not.

Thumping was heard in the room and it came closer to him. The boy stood still as his heart raced. He closed his eyes, bracing himself.A giantfist came crashing into the boys jaw, slamming him into the marble countertop. Along with it came a sickening cracking sound. The boy winced in pain, his ears flattening against his white hair which messily dangled over his face. He clenched his eyes shut tight as hot tears neared their formation on the wet reflective surface of his brazen eyes; eyes that once shone as the sun. But years of neglect and pain had dulled them down to a form of unsightly cold brass eyes, hideous, in comparison to their former awe and loveliness.

"Boy." the man said his ice cold breath raining down on the back of the childs neck. "You broke my plate, you woke me up. You have been bad today. You will be sorry. Mutt." he smushed the boys head further into the countertop at his last remark. Unknowingly tothe child, the man's upper lip quivered in sheer disgust at the small boy. Not at thechild's face, nor his slim andnearly deteriorating body, but at the word 'mutt'. The dog ears on the child's head were mashed uncomfortablybetween his head and the counter, so he slightly adjusted himself so that he wasn't in such an uncomfortable position. However, his problems were not over yet.

The man knelt down to the ground he picked up a sharp bit of the shattered plate and held it tightly in his hand. A razor sharp edge of the broken plate was tainted pink from the rising sun that shone through only a few available windows. Though to the boy, that warm, yet sharp dazzle of light pink, formed from one of the beautiful wonders of nature struck nothing but incomparable fright in the quickening pace of his heart.

Lifting up the boys shirt, he sliced it along his back. The plate cut deeply into his flesh, thick red bloodseeping out of his open wound. He clenched his teeth tightly together, his little fangs almost cracking under the pressure. Finally the pain was so bad he couldn't keep it in any longer. He let out a short high pitched yelp that had an odd semblance to a dog when it is kicked, and let it ring through the household. The man behind him pushed the shattered porcelain a little further into his back before withdrawing the weapon and cleaining it under cool water, watching the evidence slip down the drain and dissappear.

"Take a shower shit head. You smell like crap." and with that he took a beer out of the fridge and left to his room.

The tiny childstood frozen to the counter top, his breath returned to him and it created a foggy mist on the black counter. Slowly, carefully, he went to the bathroom to treat his wounds and shower.

He looked in the mirror. A big blue bruise had already started to form on his cheek, and on the top corner of his forehead. He turned his back to the mirror to examine the cut in his back. He decided that it was about four and a half inches long and less thana quarter of an inch deep, the small stab, reaching almost half an inch deep. Reaching into the sink cabinet, he took out a bottle of hydrogen peroxide and rinsed his back with it. The cool fiz of the foam covered his back and the tingling sensation in his cut told him that the liquid was working.

He really didn't need to do this. His wounds would have healed in a day or so without it anyways. This was just to clean it so he didn't get any infections or anything. He knew if he did, the man wouldn't pay for a doctor unless it was evident to people who saw him. He turned the knob on the shower, not bothering to make it hot.

He carefully took off the remaining articles of clothing.They were nothing butsome old pants and boxer shorts. He had been wearing them for about three months straight now. The smell of them made him sick. With the extra help of demon senses, it made him sicker. He hurled them into a corner of the bathroom, hoping to never have to wear the humiliatinglyodorous clothing again,and slipped into the shower.

The cold water made his body shake and his hairs stood on end. He watched the fluid fall from his back and go down the drain in red and clear swirls. Sighing to himself he closed his eyes and relaxed his tense muscles, massaging his tight arm. The dim lighting and rhythmatic sound of falling water slowly lulling him into a state of relaxation that neared unconsciencousness. He stood in the shower and let the cool water rinse over him and cool his thoughts and wounds. He had turned the lights out before he got in. He liked it dark. He could be in his own world with himself, where no one hated him, no one hurt him. He was safe there. And only there.

Today wasn't just any ordinary day. He could get to go to school today. His feelings about school were mixed, to say the least. He loved it, because it provided protection from the monstrous manhe was forced to live with. On the other hand he was then forced to be with a whole handful of smelly stinking evil children who despised and loathed him just as much as his 'father'loved him, that amount being microscopic, if existant at all.After leaving one world of hate and pain, he would just enter another world of hate. It was his life. He'd gotten used to it. And by now, the pain and neglect wasthe rhythm by which he lived.Besides who cares if they didn't like half blooded demons? He hated humans. Every. Single. One of them. However, he knew none of them would dare lay a single finger on him. Although he may not look it, he was strong. Being halfdemon has it's up sides you know? However the good things are nothing in contrast to the bad ones.

He reached up and rubbed his dog ears gently. They were the only part of his body that that 'thing' had not hurt or touched at all. The man once told him that they repulsed him and that if he touched them it would make him as dirty and bad as the boy himself. He sighed and continued to wash himself.

Once finished, he emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around histiny and bonywaist. He could smell the fresh scent of eggs and bacon and... was that cereal? The aroma filled his nose and he sighed, closing his eyes, imagining himself devouring all of the food while his 'dad' watched while locked in a cage watching him. He snorted a laugh to himself at the thought. He hadn't felt even this happy for months now. Summer 'vacation' was more like a hellish night mare he wanted to disappear forever.

He went into his room and found his new clothes placed messily on the matress he had for a bed. They weren't anything special. Just a t-shirt and some pants. _'The little bastard must've got 'em from Goodwill or something.'_ he thought to himself. They weren't very wealthy but they could afford clothing. he slipped into his new clothes after wrapping a bandage around his torso for his cut on his back. He entered the kitchen, knowing that the man would have come storming in there anyways to tell him to clean the dishes or do some other equally tedious and inexciting chore.

The man sat at the table, hungrily devouring all his food on his plate as fast as humanly possible. He looked up at the boy and raised a fat eyelid with a look of mischief and hate that the child knew all too well. "What? You want some?" he waited for the boy to reply, or do anything. "Well it doesn't matter, because you're not getting any." Quickly he ate to his fill, and more, just to spite the child watching him eat. An idea formed in his head. "Hey, I'm not gonna finish this, you want it?"

The boy knew better than to reply 'yes' but hunger took power over his mouth as he mumbled "Okay."

"Fine then." the man said.

"R-really?" the boy said shocked. His 'father' often used food to manipulate him, to reward him, to punish him. When he was 'bad' he didn't eat. Unfortunately he was 'bad' most of the time. Yesterday he only had a small bowl of cereal to eat with a stolen gulp of lemonade.

"Sure." the man said as his lips curled into a horrible smile. "You can have all you want." He turned the plate upside down so that it's contents spilled to the floor. "Now eat it. Eat it like you deserve to eat it. Like a dog." He snorted.

The man walked off laughing inside of himself. The child fell to the floor and quickly devoured whatever food there was left. It was hardly enough to feed him but it stopped the pain in his stomach. Maybe he could steal something from the lunch room today. That would be nice.

He walked down the street and looked up at the sky. So blue, so pretty, he thought. He continued walking on his way to school. The man refused to drive him to school, saying that cars would be a waste on 'monsters' like himself. Who needs that stupid metal box anyways? He liked walking. smirking to himself he strode to school while happily humming. After all, considering the circumstances, today was a good day.

_**Authors Notes **_

**(Sigh) **Fanfiction is making up some rule about not using song lyrics in your stories so I have to take out all my pretty quotes ...(**sniff)**

Yahoo! I'm redoing author notes. I always make them too long, damn myself.I really have nothing to say, except that if you don't like abuse fics stop reading this one.

**_Please review!_**


	2. Kagome

**_All's Fair in Love and War_**

**Chapter Two**

**Kagome**

The child continued walking down the path to his school until finally the roof of the building poked through the tips of trees that blocked his view. He got a running start and bounded down straight through the thick feild of plant growth, jumping through the trees using the bouncy and rubber like quality of the branches to propell himself forward.

He walked through the doors and took his seat, apart from the rest of the class. It didn't matter to him. If he had sit next to anyone they would have moved away anyways. He took out some paper and drew little anime characters as he waited for the class to start. He tried to make them as small as possible because shopping for school supplies was a task that revolted him. He and his father would go to the crafts store. He would be able to ride in the car because it was too far away to walk.

His father would smile awkwardly, though as convincing as he could, and politely ask strangers where a packet of paper was, or if they carried multi colored sharpies. And the people would smile and nod and point in all directions speaking the aisle that he had asked for. But not once, not one single time did the man pass a smile at his son, nor did any of the seemingly kind people at the store pass a look at him, or a smile. Not one single man woman or child noticed the bruises, or the scars, or the gloomy and suffocated sadness that choked the boys ever-dulling eyes. Not a single one.

He knew why this was. His ears, his horrible mutations of fuzzyskin that twitched about on his head. The one feature that seperated him from his classmates, from his father, from the rest of the human world. Their innocent and cute likeness to a dog was his blessing of a curse. If not for them, he might have grown up to live a near normal childhood, and the secret of his demon heritage may have been a secret easily kept if it were not for the ears.

A voice from up front called to the class. "Class, your attention!" said a short old man. "You have a new student arriving today from another part of Japan. Her name is-" but he was cut off.

"Kagome." said a girl at the door to the class. "I'm new here. I just moved from America. Not Japan sir. But my parents are both Japanese so I guess you would get confused there." she said and she smiled lightly at the man.

"O-oh." he said feeling quite awkward and stupid in front of everybody as he stood there gawking over his mistake. "Well Kagome, it's nice meeting you."he said, regaining his former poise and offering the pretty girl in the front of the classroom his hand. "This is the first time I've met you in person believe." he went over to her and shook her hand. "My, girl, what pretty eyes you have. They are blue. Isn't that rare for Japanese children to have?" The girl named Kagome thanked him for the compliment and gathered her things to take her seat. "Well, you can pick any seat you like." She walked over and took a seat. The seat next to the the child.  
_  
'What the! She sat next to me? Why me? Doesn't she want to make fun of me? or tease me about my ears? or scream and run away? Okay, this is probably some kind of joke. Yes. Any second now she'll get her things and walk away! I know it!'_ The boy's ears twitched in confusion as he watched the girl, instead of laugh at him, send him a friendly smile.  
_  
'Eh?_' was his only thought. _'Well, she probably hasn't realized I'm half blooded. Not yet at least'  
_  
"Hello, My names Kagome. What's yours?" she asked, the big smile still spread wide across her face.

"Uh." he responded dumbly. Hedidn't really like his name._Correction:_ He did like his name. It was the name his mother had given him and the only name he had come to stand or build respect for over the years, with the exception of his mother's. He just didn't like what it meant. "Inu Yasha."

"Inu Yasha? Doesn't that translate into dog demon? I'm sorry, my Japanese is a little rusty, after living in America for a few years."

"Yes." He muttered shamefully and lowered his head twitching his ears again in submission to her.

The girl gigled softly "Well I guess that would explain the ears then." she reached over and softly rubbed his ear with the end of two of her fingers.

The touch was soft, like a down feather rubbing against one's skin. But, the touch sent shivers down his spine. No one had ever touched his ears before.Other than his fathers beatings, no one had touched him at ALL before. Not that it felt bad, in fact, that was probably the first decent physical contact he had had with anyone for a long time. But it was enough shock to send him reeling backwards. Physical instinct had taught him one thing: Hands are bad. Any hands or body part raised above him, is a body part that will hurt him. She looked at him strangely then shrugged and turned to face the teacher.

"Well, children, once you're done talking, I might have a chance to teach you something." said a woman at the front of the classroom. She looked no older than thirty and had long black hair and chocolate brown eyes. She was a pretty thing, and the class all agreed unanimously."Well, thank you for quieting. My name is Kikyo, I will be yourEnglishteacher this year."

The rest of the day went by smoothly, seeing as all they did until lunch was tell about themselves, and talk, that kind of first day stuff. Then it was lunch time, Inu Yasha's favorite period. He stalked stealthily along the lunch line ready to stuff food items into his coat pocket. Good, they had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches today. That was an easy steal. He grabbed it and stuffed into his pocket. He had almost got away with it too. He was nearing the end of the lunch line when-

"You do intend on paying for that don't you Inu Yasha?" The girl, Kagome, stood blocking his only possible exit.

_'She-she called me by my name!' _Had she really done it? Called him by his actual name? Not 'hey you'! or 'you kid over there'. or 'dog boy'. She had called him by his real name. He hadn't heard any one say it in a long time. Animal instinct overcame him and the feeling a wolf gets whena hundred hunters close in on himis what might have been felt by Inu Yasha at the moment. He froze and then stuttered nervously. "Wh-what are you talking about?" She reached into his pocket and grabbed the sand wich. _'BUSTED'  
_  
"Thanks!" she said and paid for it. She opened the saran wrap and took a bite out of it. "Here, have this. You're way too skinny." she handed him a cup of noodles, hence the name, Cup Noodles.

"Uh, thanks?" He was takenback some by the strange girl's behavior. First she had talked to him, (Didn't she know what that meant? She wouldn't have any friends ever if she even looked at him, but making pleasant conversation? What was she thinking?)then given him her food in exchange for the sandwhich he intended to _steal_. She seemed harmless enough though, so hetook a seat at a lunch table he practically OWNED. Seeing as no one else would ever sit near him, he just sat alone at that same luch table all the time.

"Hey!" came a boy's voice. "Can I sit with you?" Inu Yasha's ears twitched. Some one wanted to sit with him? He was on a roll! He could use company, but when he looked up it was just a smelly human. Sigh. "Fine, whatever." was his only response.

This boy had 'bothered' him all last year too. Inu Yasha guessed he just took a liking to him or something. But he hated humans. All humans. He just ...hated this kid a little less.

He had always supposed that when he got older he would meet a nice half breed girlgirl, they would fall in love, get married, be happy, the works. He figured that only someone like that would truly understand him. Because, who else possibly could?

"What's up?" the boy insisted on talking to him.

"Nothing." he said and continued eating the noodles. Damn those things were good! "What about you?"

"Well ... not much sadly. Sango still isn't talking to me because I tried to grab her butt last year. Sigh." He finished with a saigh andrubbed his temples.

"Women." he said and snickered at the stupid kid.

They continued eating their lunch in silence. Until that is, Kagome walked over and sat next to Inu Yasha. '_Eh?_'

"Hi Inu Yasha!" she said cheerfully, her face bright and happy.

"H-hi." he said softly,still looking at the half empty cup of noodles in front of him. "What are you eating here for? It's just a pervert and a reject here. Nothing special." He had hoped that the cold and unwelcoming tone of his voice would drive this poor girl away. Maybe she would make friends with some of the loud and giddy girls in his class and would be saved from the social torture that would face those that associated with him.

"Well I was invited to sit over there." she pointed to a table full of a bunch of giddy giggly girls "But as it turns out they have a limited vocabulary. Those words being. Houjo. From. Class. B. Not very interesting if you ask me." she smiled again at him. "Besides, rejects and perverts deserve friends too don't they?" She grinned at him suspiciously and made a note of the boys awkward pink flushed face. He changed the subject.

"Well, this is Miroku." he said pointing to the kid across the table from him. "Don't pay much attention to him though, he's a bumbling pervert who thinks every woman in the world wants him." he snickered at his comment and Kagome laughed whole heartedly. She laughed so hard in fact that she fell off her chair, and then laughed some more.

Something inside Inu Yasha twitched when he realized that not only was she laughing, but she was laughing because he made her laugh. Not that he actually found _any_ humor in what he just said, but she seemed to enjoy it.But seeing how happy she was, Inu Yasha couldn't help but crack a little laugh. Just a little laugh. It wasn't like he_cared_ or anything. It didn't make him_happy_ that she found his comment amusing.

Inu Yasha extended a hand to help Kagome from the floor. Not a good idea. She grabbed his hand to help herself up. He winced in pain at the squeeze on his hand.

_

* * *

The boy stood by the stove. Cooking eggs were on the frying pan in front of him. The aroma was almost intoxicating. How he would kill for some food. Any food. His stomach growled louder than the sizzling eggs in the pan. He closed his eyes and thought of all the food he would have when he got older. He could live on his own, live by himself, make his own rules. He lived in his dream a little longer, biting at the air at an attempt to find some fullfillment in his empty stomach. His eyes opened slowly as he unwillingly drifted back to reality. _

The delicious smell of cooking eggs disappeared and was replaced by the smell of char. Crap! He'd went and burnt the eggs. Damn those fast cooking bastards! He ran to the fridge and searched through it's half empty drawers and shelves. He could find nothing but beer, sake, some foul, rotting meat. He remembered this, father would probably try and feed it to him soon. But, he found no eggs. He knew what this meant. An extra beating probably.

The man at the table grew impatient waiting. "What are you doing boy, Im hungry!" he yelled. Grumpily he walked over to the kitchen and saw, to his dissappointment, burnt eggs sitting in the soapy waters of he sink. "You burnt them?" his fists clenched. "Can't you do ANYTHING right!" the man lounged a hand at him and slapped his face. "Those better not have been the last eggs."

The man searched the fridge to find the same result as the boy had. No eggs. "You little shit." the man walked over to him and tightly grabbed his arm. Taking his hand and unrolling his fingers he slammed the childs hand down against the burning hot flat top stove.

The boy yelped and squirmed in pain and whimpered in protest but the man's grip stayed firm. He rubbed the boys hand around on the stove until the smell of burnt flesh rose into the air. A few seconds later the man pulled away after shoving the boy forcefully against the countertop. Inu Yasha fell to the floor whimpering in silent sobs. "Do it right next time, you worthless piece of shit." were his only words.

* * *

His skin had been raw for the next week and some parts of his hands recieved what he supposed werethird degree burns, those ones would probably leave scars or some kind of a mark. Inu Yasha emitted a low growl at the memory and quickly pulled Kagome up to her seat and Kagome pretended she had not felt the raw flesh in her hand from the burns. 

Inu Yasha looked at his pulsing hand. It was healed in some spots but the deeper burns still had residence on his palm. He found something cold that he could hold, Miroku's soda can. The wet coolness soothed the pain a little

"Um, my soda?" the boy asked.

"I'll give it back in one sec." Inu yasha turned the can and grabbed the other side because the heat from his hand had made the other side a little warm. "Okay you can have it now." he slid the can across the table where it tripped over the crack between the two lunch tables that joined together to make one. The soda then spilled all over Miroku and Inu Yasha couldn't help but laugh at the slow realization of Miroku that soda was seeping into his clothing. Miroku was a little slow when it came to these kinds of things.

Kagome looked over at Inu Yasha and couldn't help but grin at his big laugh. She decided he should definitely laugh more often. He had such a nice smile too.

The rest of the day had gone by quite nicely for every one. Kagome usually tagged around after Inu Yasha. Miroku spent the rest of the day kissing up to Sango so that she might forgive him for grabbing her butt last year. Inu Yasha decided that he didn't really hate Kagome. She smiled a lot, and she didn't seem to mind the faces some of the more vulgar kids in his classroom would make when she talked to him or asked him where a part of the school was.

He walked around the school after classes got out. He didn't feel like going home just yet. He figured he'd recline in a nice tree and enjoy some peace before walking back to the hell hole he called home. He had found a nice tree that offered cool shade and sat in it's branches relaxing as soft wind blew gently across his face. He sighed and closed his eyes. The relaxation he found in that tree was similar to the peace he found in his shower. He was safe. In the tree branches he was too high for anyone to reach him and he could rest with ease, knowing that not even his father could reach him here.

"Oy! Inu Yasha!" The girl's shout startled him from his rest.

"Eh?" He looked down and saw Kagome standing by the tree. "What are youdoing here?" he asked.

"I came to see you." she smiled so brightly that Inu Yasha could've sworn that he felt warm just watching her.

"Oh? Well I'm all the way up in this tree and you're down there. How do you plan on doing anything now, huh?" He smirked.

"You'll come down from that tree. I'm sure" She grinned.

"And just how do you plan on making me come down?"

"Just wait. You'll see." Soon after they had stopped talking the branch under Inu Yasha shifted and snapped under his wieght. He came crashing down and landed on all fours. _'Ow. That hurts'_ he thought and cringed under the pain of his wounds. Kagome's smile saddened.

"Inu Yasha?" she asked "Why do you look like you hurt so much?"

"What are you talking about?" he asked. How could she tell that he was in pain? The rest of the world didn't even take not of his existance and here she comes and it's like she knows everything about him.

"Don't try and hide it Inu Yasha, something is causing you serious pain on your body and you know it. I've seen you. Watching people can tell you a lot about them, you know?" she smirked.

He stood still, a stoned gaze across his eyes. He looked like a deer in the headlights. "What ... what are you ..." He stuttered. "I'm fine." he said politely as he could.

"Fine then, if you won't tell me, I'll find out myself." She lightly patted his back and he flinched. "Ah-ha!" she exclaimed. Then she lifted his shirt to find the bloody bandages wrapped around his torso. "Thought so."

"Ah-um, I-" he tried to find a resonable excuse for his wound. "I fell! I fell a day ago into a sharp pile of ... wood!" Maybe not the best excuse but whatever, he could live with it.

"Oh, I see." She gave a sad smile and pulled his shirt back down.

"Hey, how did you know that the branch would give out?" he asked.

"It was a small branch, I saw it starting to crack." she grinned "What? You didn't think I was phsychic or something, did you?" she giggled.

"No, of course not!" he yelled.

"Well I've gotta go! My mom should be here soon." She waved and walked away.

"Bye" he mumbled back to her. Today had been a good day. He had eaten, he got away from his 'father' with just a few wounds. The stab on his back should be gone before the week ended and on top of it all, he was still alive. A good day indeed.

**_Author Notes_**

Well, theres some Kagome for you. I know you guys just want them to run into eachothers arms and confess their love, but thats sadly, not happening any time soon. Sigh. Oh well.

Well, I guess there is nothing left to do so ...(Coughs **Fingertips** Coughs)

**_Please Review! _:D **(If you do, I'll love you.)


	3. House

**Chapter Three**

**House**

:---:  
_  
'I reach'd my home–my home no more, For all had flown who made it so. I pass'd from out its mossy door, And, tho' my tread was soft and low, A voice came from the threshold stone, of one whom I had earlier known-'  
_  
**Tamerlane **E.A. Poe

:---:

The child walked home around six. After taking a long nap in the tree on the school grounds he had figured he should get going home, or he wouldn't be in time to make 'father' dinner. He sighed sadly to himself and continued on the long walk home. His feet were lagging behind him now, as it was a long day today. A good day, he supposed. The Kagome girl did seem nice in a strange way.

Kicking a large clod of dirt and rock along the sidewalk he was trailing on gave him some pleasure, and he pursued the brownish grey stone after each kick, kicking it farther and farther each time until he kicked itclear out of his path. He watched as the stone grew smaller and less apperent until his direction was averted by a distantnoise. His ears perked at the sound. _'What was that?'_

He stopped and listened. It was some kind of animal and it was ... meowing? He followed the sound and it led him to a tree. He looked through the foliage and tried to listen and detect the source of theracket." 'Lo?" he called. He was greeted with a squeal of a meow. Ashe looked up again, he found where the noise was from. A kitten. An orange kitten stuck in a tree."Hm, I suppose you don't really want to be stuck there, do you?" Being the goodsamariatan he was, heclimbed up the tree and scoopedthe small creatureup in his arms. It was a small kitten, probably onlyeight weeks old at the most. It squirmed and wggled about in his arms, letting out scared exasperated mews.

"Hussshh ..." Inu Yasha cooes to the small animal and stroked under it's chin. "Quiet now kid." he muttered to thedefenseless thing." I guess you don't have a home, huh? Well you can live with me for now, kay? It's not much better than what you got now but it has a roof, so I guess that's better than nothing." He carried the creature home with him, after having finally subdued its frantic cries.and slid it into his room through the window while the man was watching television.

"I'm home" he yelled as he was walking through the front door. Yeah, some home.

He was greeted with the sound of someone spitting. _'Great, I'm probably gonna have to clean that up later too.'_ He sighed and carried his backpack to his room where he emptied it's contents and pat the kitten on the head.

In all honesty, his room was notmuck to see. It was no bigger than a large closet and the only furniture was a futon with a couple of raggedy bed sheets, and a wooden crate that had a half broken lamp on it. "We're a little cramped for space but we'll get by kay?" Normally he would have felt like a complete idiot for conversing with a kitten if he didn't have such a strong feeling that it understood him. It did, perhaps,but most likely, he took comfort in knowing that he was not alone: Itwas just as alone and abandoned as he felt.

He looked at the small creature that stumbled around on his bed. Once he took a closer look at it, he found it was actually had interesting coloring. Its fluffy down like coat wasa brillant orange with duller and more pastel strips of cremy orange color were in direct contrast to thebig emerald green eyes that blinked dumbly and the white haired boy that stared at it with such intense curiousity.

"Well you probably won't get a lot of food, but that's life." he told it. It mewed back at him and purred. It seemed happy enough, Inu Yasha supposed. Although he couldn't for the life of him figure out why. Butmaybe it was just optimistic, it was a cat after all. Inschool once, hehad read a story about a doctor that did surgery on a cat whose entrail were half spilling out of its body and as it lay on the operation table, being sowed up, it purred contently. "Oh well."

The kitten was clumsy. It stumbled and tripped as it padded its way across Inu Yasha's bed. Every once in a while it would jab its nose at one foreign object or another, inspecting every fold and ripple in the sheets for possible danger. Inu Yasha put his hand under a sheet and twitched his finger, watching, bemused, as the creature jumped around quickly, fluffy coat shaking and fur bristling, and stared intently on 'the enemy'. It stuck its rear in the air and knelt close to its forepaws as it quietly calculated and exacted 'the attack'. 'The attack' happened to be the small thing leaping into the lump of sheet, under which was Inu Yasha's hand and gnawing hopelessly.

It provided him with a laugh, the cute thing did. But he pat it and then got up out of his room and went to the kitchen when he heard someone yell for him.

"Hey, kid, get your ass over here." came the crude and rather (To him at least)disgusting voice that Inu Yasha had come to hate more than anything else in the world. With a heavy sigh he made his way over to the couch. "I feel like having burgers tonight." it told him. Inu Yasha stared back at him. "Well don't just stand there! Get your smelly demon ass to work!" he said clenching up the boys shirt collar in his giant rough hands. With a violent shove he hurled the boy backwards and took another sip of his beer. He managed to catch his step, and instead of landing on his rear, as was intended, he stumbled awkwardly across the path to the kitchen.

Inu Yasha looked inside the fridge. All he saw was the rotting meat from this morning and some alchohol (Plus a few useless items in the drawers below.).Now, Inu Yasha knewhis father's diet consisted of three things: sake, beer,alcohol. However, when he asked for a meal, he usualy intended it to mean that he actually wanted something substancial._This,_thiscould be fun.

He took the rotting meat and slopped it onto the counter. It smelled putrid, nothing that a little seasoning and toppings couldn't fix. He cooked the meat thouroughly _(Very _thoroughlyand then put every possible topping and condiment on top of it to cover the taste of the rotting meat. Of course with his enhanced demon senses, he was the only one that could smell it. Taking it and putting it on a plate he served it with a happy grin crossing his face.

"Hey, this burger smells kinda funky, you sure it's okay?" the man looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. In this house hold, when Inu Yasha showed any sign of contentment it meant that he was scheming. His father had come to suspect and stopsuch things in the past: running away,replacingbeer with other substances.He was wary of te boy's mischief. Inu Yasha responded "Of course."

"Are you sure? Because if you're so satisfied with it, why don't you have some." he said holding out his burger and flaunting it in front of the boy. Red, appetizing looking juices dripped down and landed with small splats on the floor below. Normally this woould drive him mad with hunger, but he knew what kind of burger this was.

"Really?" he said with fake enthusiasm "You're really going to let me have some?" The boy slowly reached out for the burger and the man, seeing an oppurtunity to once again damage the child, pulled it back. "Of course not demon shit!" He snorted a laugh and quickly tore the burgerapart in a displayonlymatched by certain farm animals. Pigs ate nicer.All the while Inu Yasha watched happily through fake sad eyes. He had fallen right into his trap. Little did he know the consequences of his actions. But he would find out in a few hours.

Inu Yasha silently slipped out the door and sat on the old rugged patio furniture. He looked out into the backyard of the house and gave a sigh of relief. Being outside was nice.There was a pool which no one used. Not that anyone would want to. It hadn't been tended to in so long it started to turn green. He looked around at the dead and dying plants in the yard. His 'dad' never really cared about the life of anything except himself of course.

He looked around some more until an upturned patch of dirt caught his attention It was small, but nothing grew there. He knew why, though he never wanted or liked to think about what was beneath that up turned peice of earth. The only thing that sat there was a large flat stone.

A stone that said 'Sesshomaru'.

His half brother. Unlike him, Sesshomaru was human, born of his father and another woman. He knew why his half brother lay there. The man he hated, the man he wished dead every night and day, had killed him. He didn't much miss Sesshomaru though, because Sesshomaru had died before he was born. But he never felt happy when he looked at that stone in his yard knowing that his brother had lost to his father. The only thing that saved Inu Yasha from his brothers sad fate were two things. His youkai strength and his mother.

Somehow his mother had managed to calm his 'fathers' raging fury. His father and mother did something that Inu Yasha could never even imagine in his wildest dreams. They had fallen in love. Inu Yasha almost resented his mother for it. He knew that being in love makes people happy. But every time he saw his dad smile, every time he saw him anything other than miserable, itmade him fume with anger. How could she have done something as stupid and worthless as love his father? In his mind he didn't even deserve to live, how could he ever deserve to love?

He hadn't known his mother for long though. She lived with them until Inu Yasha was about five. Unfortunately, the clan she once was a part of were all against human youkai relationships and killed her once they found out what she had done. Ever since then his father changed. He wasn't as 'nice' as he once was. Hell, he wasn't nice at all. Something inside him broke when their mom died. Something that was filled with hate, and vengence. Something that would nearly kill even his own son. Something that probably should have, but his son was Inu Yasha. He refused to let himself die at the hands of some angry arse. He sighed again and made his way back inside the house.

'That kitten is probably thirsty or something' he thought. He filled a saucer with water and brought it to his room. He put the dish next to it and left. He heard his dad calling him. "What?" he asked.

"You -you, DEMON!" his dad yelled at him. Inu Yasha stood there happily, he understood what was wrong with the man. "You did something to that burger, didn't you!" he clenched at his stomach.

"No, of course not." Inu Yasha said, quite pleased with his work.

The man looked up at Inu Yasha who had a hint of a grin spread on his face. "You did this, didn't you." The man lowered his head as small laughs started coming from his throat, his body started to shake and he looked at Inu Yasha with a face that would send small children running in fear. "Im ... going ... to ... KILL YOU!"

Without warning, he lunged at Inu Yasha and sent his fist slamming into the boys stomach, and repeated this with his other fist, hitting him in the chest this time. He repeated this, time after time, sending new hurt into the boy's body. He winced in pain and sent out short yelps of pain every time he was hit. Every time, the ylps got shorter as more and more breath was knocked out of him until he felt he was going to suffocate

The man contined to beat him senseless as the child stood and took the hits, yelping in pain each time. Little did he know the small eyes watching him. Only peeking one of its emerald green eyes around the corner, the kitten watched the boy get beat. It let out a sad mew and retreated to its room. It knew that if it tried to do anything it might be the last thing it does.

The man threw his last punch and had gotten quite tired so he left to the couch to watch some TV probably, leaving the hurt child breathing heavily on floor. This was definitely going to leave a mark tomorrow. He scrambled to his feet and dragged his throbbing body to his room where he collapsed onto his bed. The orange kitten crawled over to him and licked his face. He lifted a hand slowly to the creature beside him, trying to comfort him but only sighed in desperation because it hurt so much to move. Well at least he wouldn't have to worry about another beating. His dad was usually a lot calmer after he had beat him.

He wrapped an arm around the kitten and closed his eyes as he let a needed sleep take him.

His room flooded with sunshine from the only reliable source in his room, a small window. Inu Yasha turned in his bed and stretched out his sore legs. Lazily opening his eyes he turned himself on his side to see a small boy wrapped in the bed sheets.'_What in thehells!' _Inu Yasha shook it to wake it up but instead resulted in it hugging his arm. "Hey, get off!" He flicked it off and sent it tumbling into the bedsheets. It wiggled around inside the sheets and poked its head through an opening in the sheets. Slowly it stood and the bedsheets fell off of its head. _'What the! The kids got ears! Cat ears too.'_

The small boy looked no taller than two feet and had bright orange hair with piercing green eyes. "I- ...nu-...Ya-...sha!" it lunged itself and Inu Yasha and rubbed its cheek against his torso.

"Umm ... kid?" it sat on his lap and started purring like a kitten. "So a cat demon are you?" It looked up at him and smiled, nodding his head."No offense or anything but who the hell are you?" The kid took a seat on his lap.

"I'm acat demon!" it said, repeating Inu Yasha's former statement. "My name is Shippou and you are my new daddy!"

"What the? How the hell am I your dad?" Inu Yasha asked in shock.

"Because you saved me from the tree, remember?- and you brought me here, so you're my daddy now!" It smiled as it jumped up onto InuYasha's shoulders and laced itself around his neck.

"But...I-"

It looked at him with big watery eyes "Do... do you not like me?" it held back tears.

"No kid...I like you fine. But I don't want to be a dad. They're..." He trailed off. The kitten was cute, adorable really, but he was not exactly ready to take on the burdens of fatherhood. Perhaps, at first, he figured he would nursw it to health and then release it, but adoption was not a thought.

"Because if I can't stay here I don't have anywhere to go..." It started to sob and sniffle a bit.

"Why, dont'cha got parents of your own?"

"Well... I did... I suppose. But they didn't like me much. So I tried to run away because I... don't like it when people hate me. It's... not good. Not good at all." He wiped a couple tears away with his sleeve.

Even Inu Yasha, who was as tough as teflon when it came to people disliking him, found himself a bit unsettled by this remark. Maybe because it kind of reminded him of him when he was little. He didn't much care for his childhood. Nothing happy there. But he did take a great liking to Shippou. He grabbed Shippou off of his shoulders and sat him on his lap, scratching behind his ears.

Well, he could get used to this. He could use the company. Demons were cool on his list, he supposed. Well, most of them at least. And as far as kids go, this one was pretty cute. Although he'd die before he ever admitted that. The boy sat cat-style on Inu Yasha's lap, purring like a motor boat and Inu Yasha scratched its head as it rested.

As long as he was this kids 'dad' he would do the best he could to try and make him happy. Give him everything he never got. That might be fun. Anything could be worth saving him from the horrors he knew of.

Anything.

**_Author Notes_**

So this chapter introduces Shippou, Inu's little buddy, or at least he is now. I just love Shippou's character, he's like an adult at times, and then reverts to his immature childish self. So cute. And anyone here catch the Poe quote? I love him. Tamerlane is the sweetest poem. And that quote fit so well with the story.

Updates wont be as fast now, because I am really busy with my school work. Too much frigging homework... Argh. So updates will probably come twice a month. Sowwy!  
Ja ne.

**_Review!_** If you do, the Trix rabbit will finally get his cereal fix. Damned horny rabbit.


	4. Friend

**Chapter Four**

**Friend**

Inu Yasha sleepily lifted his eyelids as he got up and sat on his bed. He was tired. He hadn't slept much because he stayed up late talking to Shippou. His dad was too sick to bother him. He had to do dishes today or his dad would get mad and probably do some demented thing to him or another. But he was so tired. With a sigh he got out of bed and wobbled clumsily to the kitchen. Well at least there wasn't a lot of dishes because he had done them yesterday as well.

He reached out and grabbed a dish and started scrubbing it. Add soap. Lather. Rinse. He repeated it for each dish until he was finished. '_Maybe if I go back now I can get some more sleep. But then again I have to make breakfast... Guess I'll make it now.'_ He grabbed out some bacon from the fridge and slapped it onto a pan. _'This should suffice._' he decided and cooked it.

Setting the burner on low he sat on the floor and rolled his head in circles. His body was sore from last nights beating. '_Damned bruises.'_ At least, he thought, they would be gone in a day or two. Suddenly his ears averted to a noise coming from somewhere in the house. Instinctively, he scooted and cowered in the corner of the kitchen and whimpered in fear. Wait. That didn't sound like his dad... it was more like...

"Shippou?" he said in a loud whisper. He dashed over to Shippou and scooped him up in his arms, running to his room and throwing him on the bed. "What the hell were you thinking? You can NEVER exit this room unless through the window. Dont you know by now! My dads a maniac! You cant even IMAGINE the things he'll do to you if he finds you!"

"Im...sorry..." he said sniffling.

Suddenly realizing how loud he yelled he walked over to Shippou and pat him on his head. "I'm sorry for yelling... but I... I dont want things like that to happen to you. I want you to still have the ... the cleanliness of a child's mind. There are so many bad things out there. I just... kids shouldn't have to know about that kind of stuff." he played with his fingers. "But then, some people don't have a choice." he whispered, more to himself than anyone else.

"S'okay. I shouldn't have done that. But I knew he was sleeping and... Well you look so upset all the time Inu Yasha. Why? I want you to be happy." His green eyes stared intensly at Inu Yasha with a curious little twitch in his eyebrow.

"I am happy. I just ... am... stressed out." he said.

"But, I saw what horrible things your dad was doing to you. How could you be happy after that?"

_'Am I really happy...?'_ he wondered _'Why? Why can't I tell...?_' "Um..." he looked for an excuse. "Oh, I gotta go to school! Here I'll leave the window open for you to get out, kay?"

"Ummmm...okay." it said, leaping onto the window sill. _'Although that doesn't answer my question..._' It then leaped out, deciding it was probably not very safe in that house with out Inu Yasha anyways.

Inu Yasha walked down the side walk to his school, as he normally does, this time, he hummed a song to himself. Music had always helped keep his sprits up. And he walked until the school came into sight. Getting a running start, he leaped off the sidewalk and soared through the air into the foresty area that blocked his school and leapt through the branches enjoying the feeling of the wind rushing through his face and the fresh warmth of the morning sun gently beating down on the earth.

When he was past the trees, he bounded off the last branch and shot over the fence that surrounded the school. He landed in the middle of the soccer field and looked around for his favorite tree. When he found it he dashed towards it and leapt onto one of the branches. Panting lightly, he hooked his backpack onto one of the smaller branches and decided to nap before school opened, the sound of the children coming to school would wake him up.

Soon the buses arrived and the sound of laughter, talking, and engines could be heard everywhere and he stirred from his tree. Not from that, but from a voice calling him.

"Inu Yasha!" came a girls voice.

"Hnnngh? Whuzzat...?" he stretched out his limbs _'No, it couldn't be...'_ He looked over and sure enough, he saw her standing there '_Whats she doing here?'_

"Hi Inu Yasha!" said Kagome waving from the ground. "Wanna walk to class with me?" she yelled up the tree.

"Uh...kay." grabbing his backpack and leaping off the tree, he landed on all fours and proceeded to class with her, after all he had to go anyways and she was going the same way, so why not?

"You know, you didn't have to come get me, I woulda woken up by myself if you had left me." he said on their way to class.

"I didn't do it cause I thought you would sleep through class." she said giggling softly to herself.

"Well... Then why?" He asked

"Because I wanted to see you, of course!" she said and smiled at him. He stared confusedly at her as his cheeks turned blush pink. She laughed quietly at the face he was making, even though it was quite adorable, and just as entertaining.And when he finally realized how pink his cheeks were he turned around and his face burned bright red.

* * *

The entire classroom chattered loudly amongst themselves and Kagome and Inu Yasha entered together as the conversation died down to a whisper and the class stared at them. Kagome simply smiled at them and took her seat next to him. However, today, the person sitting next to her moved her seat away when Kagome sat down. And Kagome smiled painfully. 

Inu Yasha noticed this and his eyes told her how sorry he was. She was getting 'the treatment' from the other students. The same treatment Inu Yasha had gotten his whole life. Silence, neglect, ignorance. She had befriended the reject and therefor, she must pay the price of the punishment.

She looked at him and offered a smile and she whispered, just loud enough for him to hear "It's okay, Im used to it." And he nodded his head.

Their silence was broken however by a boys loud voice "Heya!" he said.

They both turned to him "Miroku, what are you doing here?" Kagome asked.

"Um, I was coming to sit with you guys... If thats okay..." he said shyly.

"Got the boot from Sango, huh?" Inu Yasha replied

"Inu Yasha!" Kagome scolded.

"Well... yes, actually..." He replied and twiddled with his fingers.

"Oh..." said Kagome. "Well, you can still sit with us if you'd like. Company is always nice." she smiled kindly at him.

"Thanks!" he said happily.

"Wow, she booted you bad, huh?"

"Be quiet!" he shouted but looked a little torn, and Inu Yasha realized he went too far.

"Sorry..." he mumbled.

"So, you really like this Sango person?" Kagome asked.

"Umm... Yes" he said and blushed slightly

"Well why don't I talk to her and see what I can do?" she suggested.

"REALLY? YOU'D DO THAT FOR ME!" He half yelled.

"Sure."

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" he shouted and threw his arms around Kagome's neck still saying his 'thankyou's

"It's not that big of a deal!" she said, amused at the boy's behavior, and tugging at his shirt to get him off her. Suddenly a flying object hit him in the head. "What was that?" she looked up to see a girl with long brown hair tied in a high ponytail.

"First you say how much you love me and then you do _THIS_? AUUGH! YOU ARE IMPOSSIBLE!" she stamped her feet and clenched her fists.

Miroku turned around "W-wait! Sango! You don't understand!" he bent down and picked up what she had thrown at him, a shoe, and chased after the angry Sango who was currently walking away from them. "And you dropped this!"

"Huh?" she turned around and took the shoe out of his hand. "Oh, thanks?"

"Welcome!" he said cheerily.

"..." she paused "But this still doesn't mean I'll go out with you!" she said and stuck out her toungue.

"They'll be very happy together." said Kagome.

"Huh? How do you know?" Inu Yasha asked.

"Just have a feeling." she said turning around and facing him. "I always trust my intuition." she grinned.

"Oh." and they sat and waited for class to begin.

"Hello class, good morning" said a sweet voice from up front, Kikyo. This was met with a chorus of hello's, good mornings and from one of the more outgoing students, a cat whistle. She laughed softly "Nice to see you too. Now if you would be kind enough to open your text books and turn to page thirty six, that would be greatly appreciated." And she turned around and continued to teach the lesson.

Finally the bell rung and the students walked to lunch. Kagome walked alongside Inu Yasha and Miroku was off somewhere trying to talk to Sango.

"Wow, he's so... determined." Kagome said.

"Well, he's liked her since as long as I can remember." said Inu Yasha "They got along pretty well at first actually, but then on the last day of school last year, he was going to ask her out but on his way to see her he tripped and caught himself on her butt. So of course Sango got mad and stormed off, so he never got to explain himself."

"Life is so complicated..." she said, lightly snickering. They had made their way to the lunchroom and took their seats. "Here I brought this for you." she said and handed him a thing of cup noodles.

"Th-thanks, I didn't bring lunch." he said

"Do you ever have lunch?" she asked and stared into his eyes

"Um... I'm gonna go heat this up!" and he dashed off towards the school microwave to prepare the cup noodles. Kagome gazed after him sadly. She would have to remind her mom to get a LOT more cup noodles later on. She sat down and started on her lunch while she waited. Suddenly a girl came and sat next to her.

"Hello, I'm Sango." she said and offered a smile to Kagome.

"Oh, hello." she said and smiled back

"Well Miroku said that I should talk to you so..."

"Oh yeah!" Kagome said and turned away from her lunch. "Well if you want my opinion you should give him a second chance. I mean do you even know what caused last years incident?"

"Well... He's a pervert and just wanted to get a good feel out of me ...?" she said and shrugged.

"It might have been an accident, you know? Like what if he...tripped?" she said knowingly. "He really likes you though."

"R-really?" she said turning crimson pink and bringing her hands up to cover her excited smile.

"Yup." she said and nodded to exaggerate her point. And then Inu Yasha returned. "Oh, hi Inu Yasha." she waved to him.

"Hey. Sango, what are you doing here?" he asked.

"She was just talking to me." said Kagome and introduced them to eachother.

"Um, I should probably go back to my table." she said and swirved her legs to the other side of the table. "But thank you anyways, Kagome!"

"Okay, bye." she waved Sango off. "You seem to be at a loss for words Inu Yasha."

"Im eating." he said and stuffed another spoonful of ramen into his mouth and quickly swallowed it.

"Hungry, huh?" she asked, although she already knew the answer. He said nothing and kept eating. About a minute later he had finished his ramen.

"That was good, thank you." he said slurping up the last noodle. She offered him the remainder of her lunch and he ate it hungrily.

* * *

He leapt from the school grounds to the soccer field where he soared to his favorite tree and sat in its branches. This was his favorite place in the world, often times he considered just living there. It was always so quiet and shady and relaxing there. He took in a deep breath and that was when it hit him. Today was grocery day. He had been in such a hurry to go to school that he had forgotten to take the money his dad left near the phone for him to get food after school with. "Shit!" he yelled and leapt off the tree, grabbing his bag as he went. 

_'Maybe if I am quiet enough I can sneak in and get the money and go before he relizes it.'_ He contented himself with this thought as he made a mad dash for his house. He landed on the doorstep and slowly opened the door. It creaked slightly as he opened it and he cringed. He took slow steps towards the kitchen and recoiled in shock when he found his father standing in front of the opening that led to the kitchen. Silence settled between them as the man's lip started to twitch.

"So, did you get them?" he said crossly

Inu Yasha's hand started to shake and his lip trembled as he stuttered, "Wh-what?" Wrong answer.

The man swung his arm back and cracked it forwards slapping him hard across his face, and it burned painfully. He brought his hand up and clenched it over his stinging cheek. "I-I'm sorry, I f-forgot." he said, terrified.

"Theres no room for forgetting here, dog shit." he said sternly as his eyes narrowed and he landed another slap across his face, sending the boy recoiling backwards with the force. He reached into his pockets and threw some money at him. "Be quick, I'm hungry." and he turned around and walked back into the kitchen, belching as he did so. Inu Yasha lay sprawled across the tile, the slaps still tingling on his face as he let out a slight wimper.

**_Author Notes_**

Anyways, as you may have noticed, this chapter is slightly less dramatic and angsty as the others are. With the exception of the end this was a very happy chappy! And look! I just rhymed! Yay for me!

Please review! I swear those things are like drugs... Even if this story is finished and you still have thirty more chapters to read just leave a teeny message every chapter to make Inu Kun feel special. Because she loves you.

Inu Kun


	5. A Twisted Smile

**Chapter Five**

**A Twisted Smile**

::---::  
_  
__I'm sick of the tension, sick of the hunger, Sick of you acting like I owe you this. Find another place to feed your greed, While I find a place to rest.'_

**A Place for My head** Linkin Park

::---::

Shopping had gone quite well, he had done it quickly too. In the store he had seen a thing of cup noodles and it reminded him of Kagome, so he got them. He even managed to sneak that, along with a saucer of milk for Shippou to his room. He sat next to Shippou sniffing his ramen and watching him lap up the milk. The smell of the ramen kind of soothed him in some strange way. Was it because it reminded him of her? NO! That was unheard of! Keh to that.

Shippou stopped srinking from his saucer and looked up at Inu Yasha, mewing happily. Inu Yasha grinned and stroked his back, and Shippou continued to lap up the milk. He was in his cat form now, making him unable to speak. Inu Yasha fell back onto his bed and thought about his day. However, most of his thoughts cornered around Kagome. 

There was something......different about that girl. He couldn't quite put his thumb on it but there was definitely something that set her apart from the others. Her scent maybe? No, couldn't be that. She looked like a normal human girl but, somehow, she was very different . But how? He knew that thinking about this would only bug him more because he would never really know what the answer was, unless of course he asked her. He let out a small frustrated growl and closed his eyes. 

It was then when he was thinking that he realized how much she had been around him those past two days. Even though he didn't relize it, he actually enjoyed her company, and while he was thinking this that a small smile formed its way on his face and grew into a lovely large one. Shippou had finished his milk and turned around to see him smiling like this and was actually pretty surprised at first. He mewed happily at Inu Yasha, shaking him out of his thoughts.

He turned to the kitten on the bed. Huh, what'cha want Shippou? he said as his smile faded to a small grin. Shippou transformed and as the small poof of smoke settled there stood the cat-eared, cat-tailed, cat demon boy.

he said. Thank you for the milk, it was very good and he bowed as he licked off the small milk mustache had formed on his lips. Then he jumped up on Inu Yasha's chest and lay down on him, kneeding softly on his chest with his claws tucked in as not to prick him. Did you have fun at school? he asked him.

Inu Yasha thought a little, It was fine. he replied. What did you do today, you went outside right? he asked

Shippou exclaimed I looked around and climbed stuff and I hunted too! he grinned proudly I caught a bird. he said gloating with pride.

Good for you. he said scruffed the hair on his head. It might be best if you try to hunt every day. I want to feed you, but, meals for me even, are small and far apart. Since I am half human, my stomach can't digest raw food as well, and it would probably make me sick. he looked up at the cieling

I understand. Shippou said, a bit meloncholy. I'll try and hunt whenever I can, don't worry about bringing me food. I'm a real good hunter, even Mommy used to say that about me. he sounded proud when he said this though, his voice hid a hint of sadness

Inu Yasha said, understanding of the boys situation. And they just sat quietly. But their silence was interrupted by a call from the kitchen. I have to go. Inu Yasha said. Shippou gave him one last sad look before crawling off of him. I'll be back he comforted and tried his best at a smile, though it wasn't a happy one.

He walked into the kitchen to find his dad routing through the grocery bags. He stood at the doorway, a safe distance away from the counter the man was at and awaited his orders. Finally he turned around and barked at him Hey, make yourself useful and make dinner will ya?! he yelled angrily and stomped back to the sofa. Inu Yasha pulled out some pasta and and a pot and cooked it. After, he added some sauce and viola- dinner! He sat it on the table and went outside to the patio. He walked over to his brothers grave and pulled a flower out of his pocket, placing it gently on the ground next to the stone I hope you are well brother' he prayed to him.

He would do this sometimes, though he felt embarrased about it because, well, he never actually met his brother. He was born after his brothers death. His father had lost his temper and killed the boy when his mother had told him they wouldn't be together anymore. They started screaming at eachother and the frightened little boy cried and could not stop, his father yelled at him to shut up, but this only made it worse.

So he killed him.

He had been running ever since. But then he met his mother, the dog demon woman. And Inu Yasha was born. At first they lived happily. Very happily. Even Inu Yasha was pretty content. But looking back on it, he now wondered how the last year before she was killed was like. He remembered his parents fought a lot that year.

He did remember his mother. What she looked like, what she smelled like, what she sounded like. However over the years, his memories had grown hazy and his only reminder of her sheer existence was a small photo of her he had that he kept under his matress. She was very pretty. Luckily for him, he looked more like her than his dad. He got his silver hair, his golden eyes, and of course the lovely ears from her.

He lifted his hand and rubbed one of his ears. They were so soft and velvety, even though no one else really cared much for them, he liked them. He remembered on the first day how Kagome had grabbed his ears. He wondered whether she thought they were soft and fuzzy too. Wait a second.... Why was he thinking about this? And at a time like this too.... He shook his head and then wondered what he was doing thinking about her, but then again he had noticed he was thinking about her an awful lot lately. Well she is my friend' he resolved. He finished his prayers to his brother and got up, dusting his pants off and walking inside. 

He pushed open the doors and walked towards the kitchen, but fell and slammed face first into the tiled flooring. He gasped for breath, as the fall had knocked the wind out of him. And as he turned his head he saw his father pulling his foot back in towards the sofa. He had tripped him. And he laughed at the boy on the ground. Inu Yasha's fingers curled in and his sharp nails scraped against the floor, making a high screeching sound as he did so. His throat rumbled in an angry growl as he got his breath back and his eyes felt hot and full of fire. 

This fall had hurt more than his body. He felt humiliated as the man laughed. Laughed at his pain. Laughed at his embarrassment. Laughed at him. Just like everyone else. Just like the people that had teased him in school. Just like the girl who moved away from Kagome because she sat with him. Just like every person he had ever known. Slowly his body arched up from its position and stood facing the man, his eyes full of fire, and his mind in rapture.

He leaped in front of the TV, his growling growing stronger with every passing second. What the fuck do you think you're doing? the man on the couch snarled.

Im sick of it.... he mumbled, his head facing towards the ground, his bangs shadowing his eyes. Sick of the pain. Sick of the comments. Sick of the degredation. Sick of the piece of shit that sat in front of him

What the hell? he said, too confused for anger at a time like this.

Inu Yasha yelled and loked up Who the hell do you think you are!? What have I done so horrible to you that makes you think what you're doing is okay!? Why the hell are you doing this!? WHY!? he bent his head down again for a while and when he looked up the slightest taint of red could be found glazed over his eyes, and this said he pulled his arm back and slapped his fathers face.

It seemed like the world had faded around them, they couldn't hear anything but the crack of the slap as it resounded through the house. The television, the people outside, the traffic sounds, none of it could reach either of them. And the man sitting down stared blankly in utter shock as he watched the child in front him freeze in his position and bring up his hand to examine it slowly. Had he really done it? Slapped him? He looked from his hand to the man in front of him.

He watched the boys face go from enjoyment......

.....to sheer terror.

And his twisted smile returned.

------------------

**_Author Notes_**

OOH! Cliffy! Kinda, well anyways, Im not yet sure whether I should include the horrid abuse scene entrailing this or if I should just show the after results... Hmm, it would be pretty gruesome and stuff though I feel like it would be all heart wrenching so... AUGH! I DONT KNOW! Some one please tell me yes or no on the abuse in the next chappy! Kay?

Well I am happy cuz I joined the anime club, yes Im a dork, but a happy one. And those people are cool. So yea.... Heres some replies to reviews:

**Kili-Hanyou** Well I am gonna have Kag/Inu stuffs eventually, but I is taking my time, this story....is gonna be long...

**Sleepwalikn chicken-** Okay, I know the characters may seem undeveloped and stuff but thats only cause theres stuff about them you dont find out till later. Like Kagome, i.e. is an enigma, she is very mysterious, and I kinda made her that way, so she sposed to be like that. And this is Inu Yashas story so he is my main focus. That means basically, what he dont know, you all dont know. Not for now...Hehee

**Lady lydia**- 1) I not telling whats gonna happen! 2) When I say treatment, I mean, the other children kinda outcasted her cuz she b/c friends with our little Inu baby. Its that wierd thing kids do, If they dont like someone, they dont like their friends. I hate this because 1) Its incredulously moronic 2) Most of the time they dont even know either of the people. They are just to afraid of other people outcasting them to get involved. Grr to those people! Well dats all and if you care about updates at all whatsoever you will review cuz if you dont then, no new chappies! Luv ya all!  
-Inu Kun-

(REMEMBER! Yes or no on the abuse part? I kinda wanna write it....)


	6. Ruined Flesh

**A/N**: Okay, I got an amazinglly high amount of people who said they wanted to see the abuse part (How sadistic! Hehe, JK!) so ...uh... be careful what you wish for loves.

Also, last chapter when Inu's eyes turned red, he wasnt turning into a demon, he was just so angry that his demon side momentarily dictated his actions, rather than his dominant human side.

**_All's Fair in Love and War_**

**_Chapter Six_**

**Ruined Flesh**

The man smiled sickly at him, his thin lips curled in a way that would make small children run away screaming. Inu Yasha froze in his position, too afraid to move, to speak, to breathe. So scared in fact he would have sworn that his heart stopped beating. His eyes were wide with fear and the man just sat smiling, staring at him. Finally he got up and rose above Inu Yasha lifting his hands to the boys face so that he tightly squeezed either sides of his cheeks, pursing his lips into an hourglass shape.

"Just then." he spoke "You...you looked just like her..." his eyes softened for the first time in what seemed like forever, but only for a fraction of a second. That look alone scared Inu Yasha more than any angry yell, any ice cold glare he had ever recieved.

It was the last thing he saw before he was shoved backwards.

He fell back from the push and landed on the table, skidding backwards but stopping due to the friction of his skin against the glass table top. Wincing from the healing wound of the cut he had recieved earlier, he looked up squinting at the man.

_'Could this be all he was going to do to me? Did being reminded of his mother make the man stop?'_ Inu Yasha wondered to himself. The man started chuckling darkly to himself and this sent chills down Inu Yasha's spine, a feeling he was well accustomed to. Inu Yasha tried to get himself up and of the table, fearing that it would break and the dlass would cut him. However. He didnt have to do it himself because his fathers foot came slamming into his side pushing him off the table and causing him to roll on the floor a couple times.

Quickly, Inu yasha curled inward, wrapping his arms around his head and tucking his knees in to his stomach. He clenched his eyes shut, trying to will it, no, wish it all away. His eyes fluttered open slightly and he turned his head around just enough to see his fathers back with his head looking down. The sound of the rustle of fabric could be heard. Inu Yasha had no idea what the man was planning but he was sure it couldnt be good. His mind raced with what the man was going to do. Take off his pants and slap him with them? He started laughing quietly to himself until the man said something

"Get off the floor you idiot. Hiding never does anyone any good." He got up. "Take off your shirt." He told him. Inu Yasha looked half scared and yet slightly amused by this and held the confused expression on his face until the man yelled "TAKE IT OFF!" He did as instructed. Without a moments notice he pulled his arm out from behind his back and puled it over his head. Inu Yasha hardly had time to look up before something struck him across his face and sent him recoiling backwards. _'What was that?' _he wondered. It was too hard to be a fist. He looked and saw his father standing with a belt dangling from his grip, the leather end wrapped tightly around his fist.

Oh this was new, he usually just used his fists. The man repeated his last action, this time hitting him in his ribs. He yipped in pain when the cold metal hit him. Bringing his hand up he gently rubbed the spot the belt buckle hit him. Shortly later he was instructed to turn around, he did as he was told. Then he felt a horrible splitting pain on his back, at first it just tingled, but then the burn set in and it felt as if some one had just set fire to his back. He clenched his eyes shut for he knew it was far from over.

And then he felt this same pain again, and again, and again. His back burned more with every passing second. Each time the belt came slapping against his back he felt as if some one were trying to cut it open. He whimpered quietly the whole time and clenched his fists in tight balls to keep from screaming out in agonizing pain. He whined in protest but this didn't stop him, itnever did. Only made him more satisfied to know that he was causing pain on the victim.

But then it stopped. The whipping of the belt and the sound of his fathers hard breathing could be heard. He could hear footsteps heading towards the kitchen, a slight rustle through a cabinet, the sound of metal clashing. Inu Yasha shook in fear at the mere thought of what his father would do to him with ANYTHING that was in the kitchen. After a minute had passed he started to crank his head around, just the slightest bit, so that he could get a forward glance at what new horrors would be brought upon him. The sound of his fathers returning footsteps made him whir his head back around.

No sooner did he feel the sharp pain of a knife ripping his flesh. He cringed as he felt it slide across his back, slicing his skin and drawing his blood. He felt the warm red liquid run down his back and soak into his pants. The man behind him did not smile or laugh or make any facial expression at all. His face was blank, empty, emotionless.

Emotionless as he mutilated his son's body

Empty as he drew his blood

And blank as he held no regret.

Tears welled in Inu Yashas eyes and blurred his vision. It hurt so much.It hurt so much he just wanted to die right then and there so he would never have tofeel this pain again.But he could not cry. He couldnt show his pain. He knew this would only satiate the man's thirst for his pain and blood. By now his back was wet with his blood and his thoughts were foggy from the blood loss. The knife on his back was becoming less and less apparent as it danced across his flesh, destroying it as it went. The knife was pulled out and Inu Yasha staggered, but soon after, regained his posture. He wavered from side to side but stayed standing.

Behind him a dark shadow lifted something above its head and brought it down, knocking him out cold. And in his painfull slumber he saw only darkness.

**_Author's Notes_**

Isn't it ironic? I think I wrote this mere hours after I recieved the news of my father's engagement to his girlfriend. Shit, that was almost a year ago. Maybe I was feeling mutilated? Oh well, he really didn't ever care much when I felt pain about it. He was kind of like "Well, IM gonna be happy and its MY life and YOU will get over it. Maybe I just felt asworthless as Inu Yasha does. I wanna hug him.

Anyways I am doing a little survey.

**1) What do you like best about my story? (This could be anything: The plot, the characters, the abuse, ANYTHING!)**

**2) Which character do you like best and why?**

**3) Is there anything you would like to see more/ less of? (I know many of you will say MORE romance LESS abuse right? Hehe.)**

Congratulations to** Silent Tears of Love** for giving me my 100th review! I feel so special.

If you could answer the questions and use excruciating (i love that word) detail that would be great so please? Anyways, remember, this benefits you to answer da questions, so please do! Ja loves!

-Inu Kun- (You know you love me. So please answer the questions!)


	7. Unloved

**Chapter Seven**

**Unloved**

::---::

_  
I feel it washing over me, the slow and poisonous tide. Pins and needles dance on me. Sickness undefined. Now I'm afraid to face the sky. Please someone hear my haunted cries....'_

**Dreams of Waking **AFI**  
**  
::---::

He woke up later. He found himself straddled across the floor. His body was wet and cold, very cold. The door next to him was open and a gust of ice cold wind rushed in causing his teeth to chatter. His head pounded and he felt as if it were about to crack open. It felt like a migraine but only ten times worse. But it was dark out so that helped, a little.

He rubbed his fingers on the tile flooring and could feel something wet and kind of sticky on his fingers. He lifted his hand to his face and saw the outline of a dark red fluid on his fingertips. Blood. His blood. He wasn't all too surprised, though he was astonished at the amount of blood he'd lost. He had only been cut on his back right? But he felt something on his chest also. He wiped his hand against his chest and felt the drying blood smear across his skin. He decided that even after he was knocked out the man had continued his beating. 

This told Inu Yasha two things, one, that he wasnt just doing this to see Inu Yasha in pain because an unconciese person does not feel. Second that there is definitely no limit to which he will hurt him. The possibility of murder has not yet been ruled out. He started to wonder if maybe something had gone wrong with his parents relationship before she died. Is that why he was always so cruel to Inu Yasha? Because of his close resemblence to his mother? But they loved eachother ...... right? He didnt understand and thinking about it only made his head hurt more. 

He noticed it was very dark out and wondered what time it was. Cranking his neck slowly over he saw the only source of light in the room, the clock on the stove and it read 2:37 AM. Seeing how much pain he was in he knew he wouldnt be able to get back to sleep. But he couldnt move either. He was stuck. Stuck on the floor in a pool of his own blood. He groaned in dissatisfaction. Is this it? Am I going to die?' He wasn't quite sure but he was pretty certain he was dying right then and there.

And then this thought came to him. He didnt even really understand how he thought of it but somehow Kagome had made herself present in his thoughts and no matter how hard he tried he could not help but feel as if he wanted, no, NEEDED to see her then. F...fuck...' he thought Can't die....not like this..... Have to live' He rolled over on his stomach and stretched his arms in front of him.

With much struggle he had managed to get himself to a kneeling position on the floor and he quivered as each movement brought him more and more pain. He felt as if his life was dripping away from him. He turned facing the one still shut door and grabbed on to the handle, using it to pull himself up to his feet. Finally he was standing again. His legs shook with the pressure of his wieght and his back shivered with the cold breeze that danced across his wounds. He looked down one time at the floor and his eyes were greeted with a sight that made him want to vomit. All his blood on the floor. So much of it.

He looked painfully down at the hall that led to his room. He had walked this distance so many times before but somehow it seemed longer now. He sighed and started trudging to his room. He keeled over and clutched at his chest to try and cover the immense pain this was causing him. When he was walking he felt the blood splash under his feet and find its way between his toes. 

When he finally made it to the hallway that led to his room he turned and went into the bathroom. Unbuttoning his pants he pulled them down and they slid to the ground. He closed the door behind him and turned towards the full length mirror that was on his door and looked at his body. He was skinny, too skinny to be normal and was covered in bruises. He had a couple nice sized bruises on his sides and one on his stomach. He already knew about the slash in his back but what worried him was the large cluster of dried blood on his chest. He sighed and turned towards the bath tub.

Positioning himself carefully he placed himself in the bath tub and turned on the water so that it was only lukewarm. The water level rose and he could feel it gently numbing the pain ever so slightly. He sighed in relief and rocked back and forth so that the water would hopefully rub off his blood. He reached his arms to his back as far as he could get it and gently rubbed the skin so the dried blood would come off. After he finished with his back he submerged his chest in the water so that the water rose up to his chin. He gingerly rubbed his chest and watched the blood disintegrate into the water.

Very soon the water was no longer clear. It started taking a more reddish hue from all the blood. He closed his eyes and relaxed. In water the pain was slightly more bearable.

After his bath he got out and looked in the mirror again. Something caught his attention. His chest. There was something on it. He walked closer to the mirror and examined it closely. Tracing his fingers over the carved letters on the left side of his chest he read aloud he paused Surely a work of his fathers, without a doubt. But why that word? Unloved. What did it mean? Why, of all the words he had to pick from, ugly, dumb, weak, freak, halfbreed, all the millions of insults there were he wrote only one word. Unloved. But why?

He slowly trudged back to his room and puled a pair of boxers from the pile of trash he had for clothing. He put them on and sat next to a sleeping lump under the covers, Shippou. He had instructed him to sleep under the covers, lest his dad enter his room for some reason. Inu Yasha pulled the covers back and picked up a sleeping Shippou, cradling him in his arms. He smiled slightly as Shippou oppened his tiny mouth to yawn. He started to rock the kitten back and forth, enjoying the feeling of his soft fur against Inu Yasha's bare chest. He then lay down, his back propped up from the pillows, and closed his eyes humming a soft lullaby he remembered his mother sang to him before.

He sang himself to sleep that night with Shippou sleeping on his chest. The music of his hum soon died down to a whisper and faded and they slept, their faces illuminated with starlight, the bright moon watching through the window.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**_Author Notes_**

Anyone who didnt answer my questions from chapter 6 please answer them!

ALSO THANK YOU ALL TO THE PEOPLE WHO REVIEWED!! YOU MADE ME SOOO HAPPY!! Which is good because I've had a pretty crappy week so far. In fact I will list in chronological order all of the bad things that happened to me

1) My dad decided to get married to his girlfriend. (Made Inu Kun sad :'( ) (Sunday)  
2) I got sick. (Monday)  
3) I fainted and that was pretty scary (Still monday)  
4) I got in car accident (Wednesday)  
5) I had to go to the hospital and have many tiny needles shoved into my skin (PAINFUL! ME HATE NEEDLES!!) (thursday)  
6) Turns out I have some kind of random Kidney disease and it is very painful. (More pain!! AUGH!) (Thurs. again)  
7) Because of my stupid kidney disease I have to drink a gallon of this nasty tasting cranberry shit drink every friggin day! (Still thursday...)  
8) I havent been able to eat anything because it makes my kidneys feel like someones stabbing em with many needles, (EEKS! NO MORE NEEDLES!!)

Ahem.....Okay the seventh chapter is now yours. So how do you like it? I know youre probably thinking: My god, poor yasha! How can she do this to him! However judging by your reactions to my survey your probably like: YEAH ABUSE! WOOO!! Surprisingly enough, a lot of you said you actually loved the abuse parts. Funky huh? Sigh, we're so sadistic....

As for my survey last chap:

The most popular character is Inu Yasha with 7 votes. (Yay!)  
2) Kagome-5 votes  
3) Shippou-1vote (Because he's cute they said.)

Yea! Inu won! He's my baby you know? Surprisingly, a lot of you said that you liked Kagome because of 2 reasons  
1) That she was nice and upbeat.  
2) That she was the one who would save Inu Yasha.

Interesting..... Because in most stories its the other way around, the guy saves the girl. But not here loves! The funny thing is, in truth, Kagome cant save' Inu Yasha, the story has a little twist near the end but Kagome really provides lotsa moral support for our favorite little hanyou. Without her he wouldnt be what he is now. That leads me to my question for this chappy.

Do you like it better when the guy saves the girl or when the girl saves the guy?

This should be interesting.... Heheh. To tell you the truth I lean more towards girl saving guy stories because, I mean, guys arent always so strong and tough as people want them to be! They are always shown as like these nice dudes with the smile that hugs the poor tragedy strucken girl and kisses away all her worries, but seriously, its not always like that. I mean they have their problems too.

**ANSWERS TO REVIEWS!  
Shy eyes plushie- **Yea, Kagome does have some little secrets of her own and a little dark light shining through the peepholes of her past but you wont find out what they are till later! Also, yea, I havent really talked much about Kagome yet, but she is supposed to seem very mysterious and I like the way the story is going. Also this is gonna be long so no need to worry about not having enough romance! -.

**Chicken that Sleepwalks- **Hey chicken (Thats actually my nickname now) Again you never cease to amaze me with your understanding of my story! Your reviews, I must say, are truly superior. Sometimes.... I wonder if maybe you inderstand the story better than me. Then again, sometimes I wonder if in an alternate universe theres a race of dog eared people. But anyways I love reading your reviews! Like seriously, they make my day! : ) Thank you so much!!


	8. The Morning After

**_All's Fair in Love and War_**

**_Chapter Eight_**

**The Morning After  
**

Inu Yasha awoke the next morning to the sound of the birds outside chirping, and the sun flooded his small room with light. He blinked at the bright light and yawned, but quickly snapped his jaw shut, feeling a sharp pain shoot through the side of his face. _'Last nights beating...'_ he thought, sure of the cause of this pain. He tried to lift his arm to wake Shippou but found it extremely painful to even try to move it, much less wake up the sleeping kitten on his chest

"Shippou." he said through a hoarse rough whisper, trying his best to keep his mouth closed mostly. The neko lying on him twitched an ear and slowly stretched out his paws in front of him making a short high pitched mew as he stretched. He looked at Inu Yasha with half closed eyes, still drowsy from being woken up. However his face changed into one of extreme worry when he saw Inu Yasha's face and the dried blood on his chest. Hew mewed worridly and Inu Yasha sent him a look that told him to be quiet. He was engulfed in smoke and with a small poof he was back in his human form.

"Inu Yasha... Are you okay?'" said the small nake reaching up his hand to examine the bruised face of the half breed boy. It was obvious that Shippou was holding back tears throughout the conversation. Inu Yasha looked sadly down at the worried child and tried his best to smile through his pain, though this only made his face hurt more.

"I'll be fine." he managed to choke out. Shippou looked up at his bruised face and tears welled at the rim of his eyelid. He nodded and wrapped his tiny arms around Inu Yasha's waist, nuzzling his side with his head. Inu Yasha lifted an arm and pat him on the head, rubbing his ears between his fingers. "I'll be alright, Shippou, don't cry." he grinned at Shippou and he tried his best to smile. "Don't worry 'bout me, Im...fine." Shippou looked up at him, his shimmering green eyes watery and sparkling in the morning sun.

Inu Yasha knew that he had to get up now, he figured it would take him a while. He leaned forward and put his palms flat against the floor. The he tucked his knees under his body, cringing all the while. He grabbed at the wall and tried to use the door knob to pull himself up. He stood, clinging onto the doorknob on shaky legs and trembling arms. He cringed under the pain of his wounds. Straightening his legs and locking them in place he slowly let go of the doorknob and spread his arms out to balance himslef.

When he had finally made it out of his room he looked around and spotted his backpack and walked over to it, carefully taking out all the books he knew he wouldnt need and placing them on the floor, knowing he wouldnt be able to carry them all. He put on his bag backwards so it wouldnt hit his back. He then wobbled out the door and to school.

Thirty minutes later he could see the school in the distance and he felt a wave of relief wash over him. He sighed and smiled dimly at the field he saw, knowing his favorite spot was not far from here now. He limped quickly towards the school his smile growing brighter with every step. Finally he was at the school gates and he went through, going as quickly as possibly to his tree. Finally, when he got there, he realized that he couldnt sit in it since he was too weak to climb. His smile quickly changed to a frown and he slowly slumped against the trunk, sitting at its base and sighing. He put his backpack to his side and lay down against it closing his eyes to rest.

"Inu Yasha?" someone lightly tapped his shoulder "Inu Yasha?" He slowly opened his eyes.

"Kagome? What are you doing here?" he asked rubbing his eyes.

"Well you were sleeping so soundly I was afraid you'd miss class." He checked his watch.

"But class doesnt start for another half an hour." She sat beside him. "What are you doing here so early anyways?"

"What are YOU doing here so early?" she said and poked him teasingly in the nose with her index finger.

"No fair, I asked you first!" he complained while rubbing his nose.

"Well if you really wanna know, it's so I can see you. I wake up early to get here early so I can talk to you, you know?" he looked up at her turned bright pink, blinking a couple times before turning away. Kagome gigled softly. '_So cute_.' she thought. "How are you today Inu Yasha?" she asked

"Fine." he said trying to hide his grinning face.

She leaned over and rested her chinabove his shoulder her warm breath stirring the hair on the back of his neck. "Don't lie Inu Yasha, how are you? Its okay, you can tell me." she leaned forward just enough so that her forhead lay against the side of his face and the tip of her lips tickled his cheek, "I wont hurt you." she whispered, and closed her eyes

He stared into the distance, his eyes shifting from place to place, too afraid to look her way, afraid of the gaze that would meet him, knowing that once he looked into her eyes, he wouldn't be able to look away. His lip trembled slightly and his brain was frantic in trying to find find something, anything in response to her. But he couldnt think of anything BUT her, her warm breath, her head that fit so perfectly on his shoulder, the tip of her nosetickling his cheek.

A silence had settled between them, and in sounds absence he worried. He tried to think of something that could fill its gap, anything he could say, or do but in his search he found nothing. It was then he realized that he didnt need words right now, this moment was fine just the way it was. He knew he was happy, he was smilling. He couldnt even remember the last time he had smiled because he felt happy. Any time he had smiled it had been because he didnt wan't anyone to know what was really happening, too ashamed of his story to tell it to anyone.

So he smiled

It was then he came to the realization that all his smiles had come from the darkest pits of his despair. Smiling to comfort himself or others, smiling a lie. Even though he knew this he also knew just as well that it is better for one to live in a made up reality than one that hurts too much to exist in

"Inu Yasha?"

"...Yes?" he said, her voice stirring him from his thoughts

"Oh you found your voice!" she said giggling and lifting her head off his shoulder. "You dont have to tell me how you are."

"Hm? But I already did."

"Its okay, I can wait" she grinned and he couldnt help but hide his smile under a smirk.

"I dont get you." he said and sighed.

"Well you're not the first" she laughed. "I'm gonna nap, wake me up when the bell rings." she told him.

"Keh." he said. He was there first, shouldnt he be able to sleep? '_No fair' _He thought.

Twenty minutes later the school was filled with tired grumpy school children, whining and complaining about how much homework they had and Inu Yasha was at the tree shaking Kagome awake. "Kagome? Wake up Kagome!" he tugged at her shirt collar. She groaned and her eyelids fluttered open and she caught sight of Inu Yasha's face, a mere four inches away from her face. So they sat uncomfortably, neither one knowing whether they should move or if the other would do it first. Inu yasha pulled his head away at last and turned around, muttering "Uh, we should go now."

Kagome stood up and dusted off her pants "Its so cute how easily you blush!" she laughed softly.

"Wh-what...?" he said and blushed.

"C'mon slowpoke, time for class!" she grinned at him and he rolled his eyes, ever so slightly. He brushed of the dirt on his pant legs and tried to stand up but he stopped as he felt a pain shoot up through his back. He hissed quietly and looked around for something to grab onto but found nothing. Kagome looked sadly down at Inu Yasha and noticed his ears that lay flat against his head as he desperately searched for something to grab onto.

"Here." she said holding out her hand.

"Huh?" he turned to her and smiled at her outstretched arm. He reached out to grab it but before he touched her fingers she leaned down and hooked her arms under his and gently pulled him up, which amazingly caused him no discomfort. The only thing is, after she helped him up her arms remained around his back, he didnt really want to but he knew he had to let go, "Kagome? Um..."

"Yes?"

"S-someone might see us." his face turned pink as he noticed a few people already starting to stare at the two of them.

"I know." She rolled her finger along his back on the place he recieved the slash from the beating from last night. He turned darker pink and tried to resist the urge to throw his arms around her and stand there forever. He just felt so happy right now, so happy and warm and just good. If only he could freeze time, he knew he would. It made him sad to know that any comfort he had now would leave him in a few hours when he returned home.

Kagome pulled away and looked up into his eyes "We should go now." she told him and backed away from him. He almost felt sad that she had had broken the embrace, however short it might have been. Something about the wamrth of her body and softness of the hug ... he liked it.

"O-oh..." he stuttered, looking uncomfortably down at his old tattered shoes. She walked towards the school building and he followed.

They walked through the classroom doors and were met with strange gazes from the children in the classroom. The sent awkward glares towards them and Inu Yasha looked down at his feet, turning his head in the other direction. Soon, one of them turned towards another and whispered "They're so wierd."

"I know, I heard they were like making out under the tree!" they said gigling.

"Really?" another one whispered as one by one the classmates of Inu Yasha were sucked into unconciousely turning the cranks of the gossip mill. Inu Yasha lay his head against his desk with his ears flat against his head, trying to keep their venom from reaching his ears. It was in times like this that he didnt like his demon senses. _Really _didnt like them. He remembered when he was little, their insults and impudent behavior hurt him so much. Now, however, he could watch them speak their evil to his face, spewing the most horrible and crude venom, and hardly feel a thing.

**_Author's Notes_**

The eighth chapter, finished! Woo, I finished it the day before I posted it. Like it? Oh, come one, I know you do. Well this was all the fluff I could possibly squeeze out of me. Pretty cute though? We got some nice physical contact there. Mmhmm. Too MUCH fluff for me in my opinion.

By the way, next chapter starts with a really cute little flashback on Inu Yashas childhood so you can get an idea of what his boyhood was like. It is really adorable, but also very sad. Inu Yasha has a very tragic life, remember? Only now is it starting to get better. Sad huh? But he is a very good sweet little darling, so karma will have its effect on him. (Thats a good thing by the way.)

REEEEVVVVIIIIEEEEWWWW! 


	9. Youth

**  
Chapter Nine**

** Youth**

**::---::**

_What do I do to ignore them behind me? Do I follow my instincts blindly? Do I hide my pride from these bad dreams, And give in to sad thoughts and the bad things? Do I sit here and try to stand it? Or do I try to catch them red - handed? Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness, Or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?'_

**Linkin Park** By Myself

**::---::**

- - - - - -(Flashback time!) - - - - - -  
_  
The small child walked through the grey toned door into a classroom full of excited children running about the classroom, giggling and jumping around. His white, fuzzy, dog ears perched upon his head twitched in exctiement and he sniffed like mad trying to take in all the new scents of all the children. His classroom had white walls and many decorations sprinkled around on them. _Class 1-B_' the lady at the front desk told him when his dad dropped him off. He smiled awkwardly looking into the room, his little body half way through the door frame. A kind looking woman wearing a long red skirt and a grey shirt walked up to him and smiled brightly, putting her hand on his shoulder and kneeling down so she was eye level with him._

Hello there little boy! she flashed a large smile You must be Inu ... Yatta, right?Um... Its Inu**Yasha**. he said meekly, in a high scratchy tone, stressing the yasha' part of his name.

Oh of course, the ears! Dog demon, cant believe I missed that. Half breeds ..... we dont get many of those in this day and age. Especially round here. In fact didnt get a single demon blooded child in this entire class this year. she tugged his ear in a way that made him squint his eye on the side of his head she yanked. Come this way and meet your classmates Inu Yasha.

She led him by the hand to the center of the room where the children were playing. When she let go he immediately pulled his arm down to try and cover the bruise on his arm he had recieved earlier. This one hurt him more than the others he had gotten from accidents, this one was from his daddy. She grabbed a bell from her desk and rung it, the children immediately looked up at her. Children, this is your new classmate, Inu Yasha. I trust you'll all become good friends? Inu Yasha smiled shyly. 

Friends. He liked that word. He really liked that word. How could he not? It was what he aspired to, what he wanted most. Its what filled him with hope and cheer, even at the mere thought of such things. A friend, a confidant. Someone who likes you no matter what you are. It all sounded so nice and pretty to him. Just the slight thought of such elusive happiness lit him up with a small hope that one of these children would befriend him, despite his ears, or claws, or fangs.

They replied in unison, half of them not even listening to a word she had said. Their gazes were transfixed upon his ears that twitched nervously with all of the stares. Some looked at his claws, which he tightly balled into a fist, almost cutting the skin on his hand. The children stared up at the strange dog eared boy and their jaws dropped slightly to form tiny little o's. 

The teacher left to her desk, and Inu Yasha began to feel slightly uncomfortable with the stares. An awkward silence settled between them all and Inu Yahsa was too afraid to move, much less talk to any of them. The silence began to make him very uncomfortable until one child ventured to break it. It started out as giggling. Innocent enough, until it erupted into full blown laughter, and was joined with the rest of the children. Inu Yasha just stood in front of them, still as the wind on a dead summer day. His face turned cherry red and the only movement was his heart, exploding inside of his chest.

Why were they laughing at him? Was it the way he looked? Was it the his ears? His claws? His long white, silver-tinted hair? Was there something wrong with him? Why did they laugh?

Why wouldnt they stop?

He wondered all of this, yet somehow, found no answers. He couldnt understand what they were laughing at, why they were laughing. Of course, being but a child he assumed the fault to be his own. What more could he have done? He was young then, he couldnt help but blame himself.

Why do I have to be so horrible?' he asked himself. Why can't I just be good? Or normal? Im a monster, thats what I am. I know it. Thats why they're laughing at me. Because I'm a freak. I don't deserve to be here, don't even deserve to be alive' He thought, grimmacing at recalling how his father had slapped him. He didnt mean to do it, he really didnt. He was so tempted by the plate of cookies his mother had just baked that he couldn't help himself. They just smelled so good, he couldn't help but reach out to eat one. Dont eat those, theyre mine' his father warned him. Of course he wouldnt have, had he known his father was watching.

He looked down at his shoes, utterly ashamed of himself, and saw the neatly tied laces that he had done himself that morning. He was very proud of them. He had done them all by himself. He didnt even have to ask for help!

The teacher came up from behind him and patted his back, urging him forward. Go take your seat now dear. You may sit in that desk. she pointed to a chair accross he room. He gulped and walked through the herd of children, bumping into them and uttering countless Scuse me's and Sorry's.

His desk was only a few steps away when he stepped on a loose string on his shoe and fell down, banging his head on the desk as he fell. The children behind him giggled, not one of them offering to help him up. Not that they expected them to. Sure, some help would be nice but he knew they would never want to touch something as horrible as he. He cringed in slight pain and rolled off his bruised arm, rubbing his fore head with his palm.

Are you okay? the teacher asked. He simply muttered Fine.' and she went to shooing the other kids to their seats. Well, that goes for all you too, take your seats. announced the teacher. The children scurried to their seats, giggling slightly. And Inu Yasha walked back to his desk with the last bit of his pride leaking from the laces slapping against his heels.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - -

When he realized what he was thinking about it almost shocked him, thinking that he had forgotten those unwanted memories many years ago. He had learned the trick early on: Convince yourself that it doesnt hurt any more and then it will be like it never happened! Becuase if you dont remember or feel the effects of something than it doesnt matter what actually happened! But why was he remembering this now? Because of those girls gossipping about him and Kagome?

He heavily exhaled and looked at Kagome who was glowering under her brow at the giggling girls accross the room. It seemed like she was more hurt by it than he. He felt how strongly he wanted to go over to her and hold her close to him while telling her everything was alright and that those girls over there don't mean anything but his shame would prevent him from ever doing anything close to that.

She crossed her arms on her desk and nuzzled her face into them humming a song to herself. _That sounds familiar...'_ he thought almost instantly recognizing the tune. He couldnt put a name to it but it did sound familiar to him. He shrugged it off and took the neccessary books from his pack and placed them on the desk, readying himself for school.

School went by quickly that day and before he knew it he was walking to lunch with a sullen Kagome walking close behind him. he asked

Are you okay? You seem kind of sad. he looked over his shoulder to see her downturned head.

I have a right to be sad. she uttered.

He paused and she bumped into him causing her to stop walking and look up at his face I.... I want to see you happy. A happy Kagome is always better than a sad one. he muttered shyly.

She continued to look down so that her bangs covered her eyes and Inu Yasha could only see the tip of her nose. You shouldn't do that. he said tapping her chin with his fingers, pushing her head up. Keep your head up. he told her and she looked up into his lovely honey eyes, her bottom jaw hanging open just so her lips parted slightly. Soon, her lips curved upwards into a faint smile and she stepped ahead of him, marching proudly.

She sat at her table with Inu Yasha and Miroku. Her sad manner had all been cleared away, and one could guess that she looked like the happiest girl in the world. Inu Yasha couldnt help but smile from the warm radiance of her cheery smile and heartwarming laughter. There was just something about that girl .....

**!Author Notes!**

**  
Everyone! Please read my new story Unchained Melody' It is very good and short and so far only 6 people read it, Wah! It's basically about Kikyo thinking about Inu Yasha and trying to make herself fall out of love with him. I'll update sooner if lotsa people review it! .**

**Story News! **Alas, the promised flashback! Not a lot happening in the present but oh well. So anyways, I have come up with a plot _besides _Inu Yasha and Kagome some how falling in love! Yay for me. There will be a little mystery theme in there (As in like ALL of my stories!) and I will keep you wanting more! MUAHAHA! From now on almost EVERY chapter will have a flash back somewhere and you guys get to learn more about InuYasha's childhood, as it is key in understanding the events that happen in the current time. Maybe I will put in a little bit about Kagome somewhere. (You guys'll like that.)

By the way, the next chapter has a part in it I find quite beatiful. So the next chappy is a good one. Be excited. I cant wait to post it!

_Note to_ **Booky**: Hello, and I am sorry if I insulted your religion etc because I didnt really mean anything by the little author note thing. I actually put it there ... thinking it to be completely disregarded by anyone who reads my story... But honestly I dont really mean anything by it. As I said In my OPINION,' And if I say something you dont like... then pretend I didnt say it, because chances are I have no idea what Im talking about.  
_  
Stay tuned for next chappy: _**Waiting**  
**  
PLEASE REVIEW! (I have over 200! Thank you guys sooo much!)  
**


	10. Waiting ll Part One

**_AAAAUUUUGHHH!! _** FUUUCCCKKK!!! YOU KNOW WHAT!! I TYPED THIS ENTIRE FUCKING CHAPTER AND MY COMPUTER DELETED IT!! AAAAUUGH!! I AM SO PISSED! NOW I HAVE TO RE WRITE THE ENTIRE FUCKING THING! SHIT! Hey, I just cursed a lot. ::stuffs soap in mouth:: **:0**

**  
Chapter Ten**

Waiting/ Part One  
_  
_He sat at the base of his favorite tree, wind blowing his silver tinted hair which tickled his cheeks. He grinned and smiled up at the sky, watching the bright sun duck behind a cloud as he looked up. It was so nice out today. The nice calm weather amost made him forget where he was, who he was, where he was going after he left his favorite tree. He liked that feeling. Sometimes, forgetting things is the best way to deal with them.

He reached into his bag and weakly pulled out a hard cover black book. He had been using this book for the past couple weeks to write in, or draw in. He filled it with almost everything he thought or felt. Filled it with his dreams, filled it with his nightmares.

Right now it was about half way filled and everything inside was horrible. He remembered once looking inside of it and he was so scared by the things he had drawn in it he threw it against a wall and didn't touch it for a week.

He opened to a new page, taking in the scent of fresh paper. He clicked his mechanical pencil once and started to work on a new picture. After finishing his sketch, he examined it once, something he hardly ever did. He usually never looked at the pictures he drew. But he usually found that it was better not to. They were all so scary.

On this one was a child. It had long un-shaded hair and a blank, stoic looking expression on its face. It seemed to be waiting for something. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_He rocked back and forth from the point of his toe to the ball of his heel before pacing twice from one side of the small loading dock to the other, careful not to turn his face to the small school parking lot that the dock faced. He stopped eventually and sat at the curb with a sigh. He placed his elbows in his lap and on his hands, rested his head. His eyes drifted down towards his watch for the umpteenth time that afternoon. It read four fifty three. He did the math in his head. School got out an hour and thirty seven minues ago. And his mom still wasn't there._

Again, he searched the small parking lot for her car but again, he couldn't find it. He slumped down and buried his head in his lap, holding back tears. 'Maybe she forgot me. Maybe she doesn't want me any more. Not that anyone would want me in the first place.' _A loud beep sent his head flying out of his lap and his eyes darted around the lot only to find, much to his displeasure, someone elses car. He didn't know who's it was, and he didnt really care either. He figured it was one of the after care kids parent's car. A lady had been kind enough o ask him if he wanted to go to the playground with everyone else who's parents were late but he simply responded: _My mom is coming soon.

_But she still wasn't there._

She'll be here soon. I know it. She wouldn't leave me. he affirmed to himself aloud. Everyone else wouldn't have a problem if he dissappeared from the face of the earth but he knew his mother would cry forever if she lost him.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

He clicked the mechanical pencil twice and set to work on a drawing. Not caring as pencil shavings got in his eyes and blurred his eyesight. He worked furiously, the pencil scraping lines across the paper.

- - - - - - - - - - - -__

He was almost crying now. It was five o'clock now, and she still wasn't there. He stamped his foot down hard on the pavement and screamed in desperation. Maybe she really had left him. Should he walk home? He didn't know how to get home from his school. A tear streaked down his cheek as he fell to the ground, sniffing silently. He heard a honk and looked up, to find much to his surprise, the old beat up red Honda his mother drove. She stepped out of the car, lightly shutting the door behind her. She spotted him and smiled, her warm radiant smile, and just like that, nothing even mattered anymore.

She held her arms out and he got up, not bothering to grab his book bag first, and ran into her arms, squeezing her tightly, his crying had, by now, subsided, and he smiled brightly, just happy that she was there with him.

I'm sorry I'm late. She raised her hand rubbed his ear with her long slender fingers. I'm so sorry. The first quick glance of her son, collapsed on the ground, crying, had not escaped her. It near broke her heart. So so sorry.It's okay. he mumbled. I don't mind. he sighed. As long as you're here now, it's okay. He couldn't help but forgive her. When she smiled like that and held him and rubbed his ears, everything seemed so good, like if he died right then and there he wouldn't even notice. All the turbulence in his life stopped and it just seemed like everything would be okay. She let go of him.

Go get your stuff and we can go home, kay? She grinned and winked at him in a way that only a mother can do. He scurried over to the dock and scooped his backpack up in his arms and ran to the car in a gait that only small children could make. He dumped his bag in the backseat and climbed into the passenger seat of the car.

How was your first day? She asked, sounding pretty exited.

Umm, fine. He said, and then added. I guess.Sooo, it wasn't good? she asked. One of her ears drooped and the other averted towards him and she frowned.

I dunno. he said calmly. It wasn't bad. I just didnt love it. Then, at this moment, it was hard to be sad. His mom always made him feel better. He had begun to wonder if it were even possible to feel sad around her.

The children, did they tease you? she asked hesitantly, carefully, slowly wording her interrogation as if unsure how to ask it.

His mind was filled with their insinuating laughter and his head spun with the noise.

he answered.

she said and continued driving.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

The memory seemed to stab him as he remembered him. It was such a sporadic thought that he wasn't even sure how he came to think of it. But it was there. And just as easily as he remembered it he shoved it back to the corner of his mind, forgetting it once again. He stared down at the first picture he had drawn.

It reminded him of something, though he couldn't quite put his finger on it. A picture? A photograph? A person he knew? A memory? He shut the book.

Heh, that looks like me. he said, laughing bitterly.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**_READ THIS! ITS IMPORTANT! _**For those of you who are wondering, this is not all of chpater ten! You got it? Since, somehow my computer deleted the original tenth chapter, I had to re write it. I didn't have enough time to do the whole thing and since I missed my update time cuz I was in North Carolina, I don't want to delay you any further. This chapter was supposed to be longer and I will have the next part, which will be pretty short, out very soon, two to three days. I'm so sorry, you guys are so great to me, er, at least the majority are coughInu-Baby18cough  
**  
REVIEW RESPONSES! ::DOES A LITTLE JIG::**

Sleepwalking Chicken and HAP- Thanks so much for the review, you know that your reviews keep me sane don't you? And I'm glad you like the way I do Kagome, I like her too. I like how she is so coy and mysterious. Hee hee! And yea, she is rather carefree most of the time. Next chapter she has a kind of nervous breakdown. Kind of. Anyways, thanks so much for reviewing! You rock! ::huggles::  
**  
The Evil Liar- **I like you Hehe, lol. I don't know you but I did enjoy reading your reviews, though they were quite short. Well, at least they weren't those one-liners that people write, like Update soon' God that annoys me. Anyways, I like reading present tense better, and the reason things change from past to present is that I started this story like 7 months ago and it was the third story I had started at the time, so I wasn't as good then and I was just getting used to writing this stuff. Thanks again for the reviews!

**Lady Lydia- **So you want happy memories huh? Sucks for you. Sadly, there are virtually NO happy flashbacks, or none that I have written or plan on writing anytime soon. Remember, Inu Yasha's life is virtually all pain. There is _some _happy shoved inbetween there, some nice mother/son moments, but that aside, no happy. Sigh It pains me to say this.  
_  
_**Inu Baby18- **Look, I usually don't _like _to blast people on this site but in your case I feel its necessary. First off, I rated this story R for a reason, as soon as you read the first paragraph, you could just tell that this story wasn't going to be one full of joy and smiles. This is an ABUSE story. If you don't LIKE it then what the hell are you doing reading it? Not only that, but then you go and scream at me four times for hurting Inu Yasha. NEWS FLASH! That is what the story is all about! With out the abuse I wouldn't have a story. So if you don't like a story or something in it, please don't complain to me about.

**Sabster- **SABI! I havent heard breath of you in a long time! I too am obsessing over a video game, Kingdom Hearts. And Xenosaga, and FFX2. Its hard to balance the three, but I find a way to do it, somehow. I'm practically finished with all of them anyways. But anyways, update HB soon!!

**CindyGirl- **Well I don't really have any reply to you, but I loved reading your review!! Thank you! And yea, this story isn't too bad. Its my personal favorite. But I have so many new ideas for stories I want to write. I have actually started one on the sidelines. Its basically Kikyo's story. Its how she grew up, why she is the way she is and everything you would want to know about her. Probably wont be out for a while though. Thanks again.  
**  
PLEASE REVIEW!!! I'LL LOVE YOU IF YOU DO!! (Really, I will.) **


	11. Not Alone

**A/N: **To help you better understand what happens, Inu Yasha drew two pictures last chaper. One before the flashback thing, and one during it. Before he could look at the second one he stuffed it inside his book and pulled out the first one.****

Chapter Eleven

Not Alone

::---::  
_  
When the friendly sunshine smiled, and she would mark the opening skies, I saw no heaven, but in her eyes.'  
_**  
Tamerlane **E.A. Poe**__**

::---::__

A peice of paper fluttered from his book and drifted cross the feild, grabbed by Inu Yasha before it had a chance to rest on the ground. He scooped it up and pressed it to his chest while he inhaled, and waited for his breathing to regulate. He tried to shove away the pain in his body from running but it hurt so much. He cringed slightly as he limped back to the tree.

He unfolded the now crinkled paper and straightened it on his leg. He almost stopped breathing when he saw the picture he had drawn. It was his mother. He didn't even realize it until he had stopped to examine it, but the second he saw the picture he could tell, it was her. The hair, the eyes, the ears, even the smile, it was all hers. He was amazed he could draw at all, but this was just amazing! He couldn't help but smile at it. It just looked so pretty.

Whats that?

he nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard her speak. What-?! Oh, its just you Kagome. His bristled hair settled. Sorry, you scared me. he laughed. She sat beside him.

Can I see it? she asked, smiling coyly.

He he looked between the paper and the girl, taking his time to decide whether to let her see it or not. He usually didn't like anyone looking at his pictures. It made him feel embarrased. Hesitantly, he handed her the wrinkly sheet. She took it careflly, handling it as if it would break if she touched it too roughly. The look on her face was one of happiness, surprise, and amusement. Its beautiful Inu Yasha. she said slowly. But it was! Every detail and line was drawn perfectly. I never knew you were an artist.

He laughed quietly Neither did I.The person in this picture looks familiar, who is she? she asked suddenly, breaking a momentary silence that had befallen the two.

I ...don't think that she's a face you'd see around here. he said, his voice a little shaky.

What do you mean? she asked.

Kagome, my mom died years ago. he said. It never hurt as much to say that as it did now. Then again, he never really talked about his mom. She died when I was little. You'd have to have a _pretty _good memory to remember her face, even if you did see her once. He laughed bitterly. 

She gasped slightly. Inu...I'm...so sorry. She looked so upset. I didn't meant to bring up such bad memories. Forgive me. She bowed her head.

It's okay. he said and patted her back. Really, I don't mind. She died a long time ago. I'm over it. Don't worry.**__**

She looked up at him and he was surprised to see that her eyes were brimming with tears. And her eyes... They looked so different now. They had taken on a more dark, grey, stormy look, much unlike their usual bright sky blue colour. He gulped. Did he say something wrong? She looked like she was about to cry. Aren't you sad at all? she finally said. I mean .... she's your mom. she sniffed twice and looked up at him, her eyebrows pointed upwards toward the center of her fore head. She wiped her eyes with her sleeve and spoke again. I mean, I know it's been a long time since she died, but still.... That's such a hard thing to get over.... She drfted off and her voice quieted.

He held out his hand. Its raining, Kagome. he said. You should get home.Are you going home as well? she asked, her sobs quieting.

he answered. No. Not yet.Then I wont leave. she said.

I dont want you to catch a cold because of me. he said. I don't want you to get sick. She sneezed.

Well, it's too late for me, so I may as well stay. she said, laughing sarcastically. Asides, I could use the company. You always make me feel better. He got up and unzipped his jacket. 

He handed her the jacket. It'll keep you warm. he said, looking out to the horizon. The rain was coming down thickly now, he could hardly see in front of him. He decided it wouldn't be smart to go out into this kind of weather anyways, much less, let _Kagome _go into it. And leaving her alone was not an option. He sat beside her and looked out at the distance until his eyes hurt from the strain. _Okay, enough of this, I am going to go blind if I keep doing this' _He could feel a headache coming on already. But what was ahead of him was so foggy and blurry. It was hard to get a vlear veiw of it.

Kagome stretched out and yawned. Its cold out. she said.

Even with the jacket? It was wrapped tight over her shoulders.

Oh, I'm not cold. Se paused. You are.I ...am? He lifted an eyebrow. I'm not. What makes you think so?

She reached out and put her hand on top of his and pulled it up to his face. You're shaking. She was right. His hand was jittering in front of him. But he didn't _feel _ cold. Maybe it was those demon powers or something. She held his hand in both of hers and closed her eyes. A moment later she uncupped her hands to reveal his. It wasn't shaking anymore. There! All better! She patted his hand and smiled, but didn't let go of it.

I love it when it rains. Inu Yasha said, looking up at the grey sky. It makes such pretty noises.They say that it rains because God is crying. She stated. Do you believe that?No, I don't believe in God. he said, watching her response. He knew some humans were very verbose in their belief in God'. But that was more of a human thing. His demon side didn't allow it. Maybe it's because someone else is crying.Like who? She asked.

Some lonely little girl. he shrugged. He turned to Kagome who looked as if she had just seen a ghost. No, it was more shocked than that. It was more like if she saw a ghost run around an apartment building naked, burn the building down, then go and shove a sword through the abdomen of a passerby. Then she laughed. 

He turned over and sat on his shins, facing her. The rain on her red face made it look like she was crying. Maybe someone like you Kagome. He whiped a droplet of rain from her eyes with one of his slender fingers. She giggled softly and turned a bright shade of red.

She blushed! He made her blush! Sure, he had seen her happy, or sad, or angry, but never had he seen her blush. He was wondering if it was even poosible to embarrass her, but he had done it, and he couldnt help but smile at her flustered expression. She looked so cute when she was embarrased. A lonely little girl? she asked. Do I really look so pathetic right now? She grinned.

No, well, eh- I didn't mean it like that! he said, flailing his arms. What I mean is .. well.... Never mind. He sighed.

Well, I guess by some standards I could be considered alone. But not lonely. No. Definitely not lonely. she said, shaking her head. 

How does that work? Is that even possible? I thought the two went hand in hand. he said, confused.

Well, what I mean to say is, I don't really have a lot of people I could consider my friends. I suppose it's just you Inu Yasha. But I'm not lonely. She paused, as if considering what to say next. Loneliness doesnt require the absence of everything, just the things you love the most, the things you need. She said, looking up into the sky with a serenely happy, though distant, look on her face, before she turned to him. Right Inu Yasha?

Wait a second! She said that he was all she had and that she wasnt lonely, and that to be lonely you have to be without the things you love so does that mean she _loves _him? No! Impossible, no one loves him. Though for some reason, thinking about what she said made him feel comforted. Like if he died tomorrow, somebody would miss him. Even though it would only be one person, er, make that two, including Shippou, he wouldn't feel sad about that. Then it clicked. Oh! I get it! Like. as long as theres one person out there who cares about you, and you care about them, it doesnt matter how many people there are. Like a quality over quantity thing, right?Sure! There, you got it. So would you consider yourself lonely? she asked, cocking her head to the side.

He paused and thought for a moment and then looked up at her and smiled. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**_Author Notes_**  
**_  
_**Does that satisfy you fluff craving? Well it better cause thats all you're getting outta me for a bit. Though the next couple chapters are very happy ones. Too happy if you ask me, I actually had to cut fluff out because it got too squishy. Anyways, please review!**_  
_**  
Ahh, my holidays were good, and fattening. I gained four pounds! Waah! ::pinches flub:: Shoo! Anyways, im sorry this took so long, but you see, they took off my story Baka League' and then didnt let me update for a while so thats why, I would have updated sooner.**__**


	12. Stranger in the Autunm Mist

**  
Chapter Twelve_  
_  
Stranger in the Autumn Mist**

::---::  
_  
__ Just hold me, simply control me, because your arms, they keep away the lonely, When I look into your eyes, it's then I realize, that all I need is you in my life. All I need is you in my life.'  
_**  
Never Felt This Way **Alicia Keyes****

::---::

That day he had walked Kagome home, hand in hand, until she reached a street where she said she could walk by herself from. He asked her again and again, if she was sure that she wanted to go on without him, and she assured him that it was okay. He quickly hugged her goodbye and waved her off, watching her walk through the thin layer of autumn rain that greyed the land around them, and created a mist which settled around their feet. He smiled in quiet contentment at the girl that jogged towards her house. 

He had begun to turn around to walk back towards his house when he heard a small splash and the scramble of feet. He turned around quickly, cringing at the whiplash of his wet hair against his cheek and back. Wiping the wet hair that clung to his cheek away from his face, he dashed over towards the sound, immediately guessing that it was Kagome. He turned the corner and was surprised to see a full grown woman looking in discontent at her wet muddy skirt and scattered groceries.

Oh dear... she uttered looking anxiously at her wet skirt and ruined grocery items while shaking her head. What shall I do know? she asked herself, only so loud that Inu Yasha could only hear it with his extra powerful senses. He stepped forward.

Would you like me to help you carry them home? he asked politely. She turned to him and her scowl instantly melted into a warm gentle smile. He noted that it reminded him of Kagome's. Not exactly like hers, but enough to remind him of her. He stepped towards her and held out his hand Im Inu Yasha. he said with a friendly smile.

She took his hand in hers and shook it heartily. Nice to meet you. And thank you for the groceries. Should I help you gather them? she asked.

No its okay, I'll get them myself. he said and gathered the scattered items and placed them inside the bags. After he had finished and had the bags in his hand he approached her again. So where do you live? he asked.

Oh I dont live very far from here, only a block or two. she said directing him in the way of her house and started walking. He followed behind her.

So what were you doing out in the rain anyways? he asked.

Me? Oh, well, you see, I live very close to a local market and I decided to just walk there instead of taking a bicycle like I usually do. While I was there it started to rain so I took my time and waited for the rain to clear up before I started home . Now, the rain actually cleared up mostly while I was walking home, but it started up again just recently so I decided, not wanting to get horribly wet, to run the rest of the way. She gave a smile. Unfortunately on my part I didnt take into consideration how wet and slippery the streets had become. So here I am, covered in mud, with two bags of ruined groceries, sopping wet clothing, and a sad story to tell.

Inu Yasha couldnt help but crack a small laugh at this. Im so sorry. he said, resisting the urge to burst out laughing, out of politeness.

Well Im just lucky such a nice boy like you came this way and helped me. she smiled kindly at the inu hanyou. So what are you doing here now? she asked. Its a little late to be walking home from school. she said.

Oh, well I was actually walking someone else home. he replied.

Oh. who? she questioned.

Just this girl in my school. he grinned.

Tell me about this girl. she said, noting his smile.

Um, she is new to my school, just got here this year, and she has long black hair, the color of a ravens wing, and these really pretty-blue grey eyes. She is a little shorter than me and she has this wonderful warm smile. Gods, she has a beautiful smile, and a lovey voice as well.... He rambled on and on and the woman couldnt help but giggle at his obvious infatuation with this girl.

Do you like this girl? she asked.

His face turned bright red and he stared blankly at the woman walking aside him. Wh-....why do you ask?Oh, never mind. she looked ahead of her. My house is just up there! Here, we shall run to it! she started jogging up the street.

Um, you probably shouldnt do- He was cut off short by the sound of a splash. The woman had managed to land straight in a puddle once again and scrambled to her feet looking in frustration at her sopping wet clothing.

Oh dear, Ive gone and done it again. she said in an annoyed tone. Ive just gone and ruined my skirt.... She rung out the dripping edges of her skirt and whined complaints to herself as she did so. Inu Yasha ran up to her and asked if she was okay, She replied with I'm fine, dear.' 

Well at least we've reached my house. she said.

Where? I dont see a house here. he looked around and saw no type of house anywhere near.

It is right there. she said and pointed to a large shrine.

You live ... there? he asked in utter shock. He had never imagined such a lady to live in some place such as a shrine.

Yes. I was born and raised on that shine. Its the family trade. It was passed on from my grandfather to my father to me. And when she is old enough, my daughter will own and manage it as well. she said

He examined the shrine. It looked quite old but was also very beautiful. The old style of Japanese roofwork was done and the roof and carefully placed brass shingle glittered with the light fall of rain. Ivy grew up certain walls and that added a certain quality of prestige to the place. From the shingles that shaded the walls of the shrine various ornaments embellished the appearence of the shrine and numerous small crystal windchimes shook in the light wind and created a certain sound which Inu yasha found quite calming and refreshing. It sounded almost mystic which added a certain haunted quality to the building.

But what caught his eyes the most was, in the front, it had a large iron gate. And at the top, where the two gate halves met, there was a small hole in which, inside the iron circle, a moon was carved from silver and where the two tips of the the crescent moon met a golden star was placed. Around it seemed to eminate an irridescent display of color which he stared at in bewilderment for a while until the woman aside him directed him to follow her.

He looked down and the woman was already halfway up the stairs which lead to the shrine doors. He went in quick pursuit of her and caught up at the top of the stairs. She walked through the large doors which led to the shrines inside. When he stepped in he examined the surroundings. His jaw almost dropped when he got inside. This shrine was huge! And all of it was gorgeous! The woodwork on the walls, the floors, the intricately designed shoji wallscreens which had been painted with floral designs. All of it was wonderful.

Well come this way. The woman directed him to follow. She led him through a few different rooms and up a stairway. At the top of the stairway she turned into a place that looked like a kitchen. You may put the bags there. she said, pointing to a counter. He placed the bags on the counter and sifted through the contents, placing them on the countertop.  
**_  
_**Would you like some tea? she asked him, already pouring water into a kettle. That walk must have exhausted you. I just have to at least give you some tea, in return for helping me with my groceries.**_  
_**  
Um, sure, I'll have some tea. he said, setting his backpack down against a wall.

Very well then, it will be done in a few minutes. You look rather wet. she said examining his dripping wet clothing, tattered from age and overuse. I'll get you some new ones. He tried to protest but she was already off looking for new clothing. A few minutes later she emerged with a red haori top in her arms. Try this on. I think it's just your size. She directed him to a bathroom and he went inside.

A minute later he emerged from the bathroom, dressed in the haori. You look so handsome in it! she squealed. He walked over to a near by mirror and examined himself. He couldnt help but adimt, she was right. The fragrant red colour brought out his features and matched well with his skintone. It was perhaps, as if this outfit were made for him.

Its lovely isnt it? she said, straightening it out upon his shoulders and pulling a few loose threads here and there. It was my grandfathers. He got it when he was about your age as well, it was his favourite outfit. He wore it every chance he got. He handed it down to my father, but since my father only had me, and I had a daughter, it has been sitting in my closet ever since my father died.Oh. I like it. Its comfortable. he said, breathing in the lovely fabric, which felt so good against his skin.

Really? Then you may keep it. she said. I have no use for it now, and seeing the state of your old clothes, I think you are in dire need of a wardrobe change. She pulled a loose string from his shirt.

Wow, thank you. he said, shocked.

Wait right here will you, I'd like to get my daughter to have tea with us, I think you'll like her. She smiled and ran off and turned a corner.

Inu Yasha waited patiently until he noticed the tea kettle on the stove whistling. He ran over to it and turned it off, taking the kettle of the stove with the help of an oven mitt. Spotting the tea cups, he went to work at pouring the tea. He soon heard the sound of people walking down the hall, two of them. Turning around to face his company he was shocked at what he saw. There, standing beside the woman, was Kagome.

Inu Yasha?! They said almost simultaneously.

Oh, you know eachother? her mother said. How funny! She giggled cheerfully.

I never would have guessed... said Inu Yasha thoughtfully.

Now the tea is ready so I think we should sit down and enjoy it together. In fact Inu Yasha, would you like to join us for dinner? Im sure we would enjoy that. she said happily.

he blurted out almost too fast. He could never refuse food, when offered to him. Now, one in his situation might have said no, seeing as his father is quite picky about meals. However, weekends are his special exception. He knew that on the weekends, his father was almost never home. He would go out Friday night and not come back til Sunday, drunk, stoned, and too sick from hangovers to even think of doing anything till Monday afternoon. He couldnt even remember how long this cycle had been going on.

- - - - - - - - - - -

_ A small half breed boy sat at his doorstep, waiting for his father to come home. Daddy? Where are you daddy?' he thought, almost wanting to scream._

Inu Yasha! Come in, dinners getting cold! came a voice from inside. He yelled back to his mother.

Im not hungry! He still sat waiting on the doorstep, growing more and more anxious as the moments lingered on his shoulders like bricks. His father had been missing for a while now. Around three days. And Inu Yasha, he was worried that he would never see him again. You had promised me you would stay home this weekend, daddy. You said you would come to my school play. I had the leading role. You said you would come!' he screamed in his thoughts, angry, though at the same time very sad and disappointed.

He stood up and screamed as loud as he possibly could, venting his anger on the wind, and not to mention, the neighbors ears. He clenched his fists and stomped multiple times on the ground with his tight shut eyelids clamped against eachother to help keep back tears. You said you would come... a tear slid down his cheek. YOU PROMISED!! He burst into a small fit of sobs, continuously trying to wipe the constant flow of tears away from his cheeks.

Finally, he heard the sound of a car coming down his driveway and he picked up his drooping head and saw his father in the front seat of their car. he yelled, overjoyed, and angry at the same time.. He waited by the car door and watched it swing open.

His father looked horrible.

His dull eyes were sagging and bloodshot. Thick grey bags hung under his dead orbs. His mouth hung half way open, and even at the distance he was, Inu Yasha could smell vomit. His stance was despicable, and he staggered to and fro as he attempted to regain his balance. And as soon as he did, he keeled over and began to vomit everywhere on their front yard. he asked, so quietly that he could hardly hear himself.

his father moaned, staggering over towards the door. He shot his son one dead glance before heading back in the direction he was going, shoving Inu Yasha out of the way, and onto the ground. He landed with a thud and clenched his eyes in the pain he felt from landing on a previous bruise. he squeeked. But his father could not hear him.

A few seconds later his ears were filled with the horrible, yet all too familiar sound of his parents fighting. His mother screamed angrily at the man who walked into her house and every word could be heard by the small rejected child laying on the ground.

AND WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!? GOING OFF LIKE THAT! YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD STOP! WHAT IN THE HELLS DID YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING BY GOING OFF AND STUFFING YOURSELF FULL OF ALL THAT SHIT!? YOU'D BETTER- He could hear the distinct sound of hand against face, the sound of a slap. And then a thud. And then the bitter weeping of his mother. And he sat, curled in a fetal ball, with his head between his knees and his arms around himself, trying to protect himself from the awful evil noises coming from his house.

And his heart was full of malignance for the man who had turned him down.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Those memories, though so far away, were ones that Inu Yasha would never let himself forget. The reason he remembers those so clearly among the rest of his his nightmarish memories? Because that marks the point where he gave up, the point where he stopped caring. When he didn't care whether his father died the next day. When he became detatched.

That marked the day when he stopped being his son.

However, now was not a time to be caught up in such miserable thoughts. Inu Yasha smiled brightly. Not only was he getting a free meal, one which he did not have to steal or get from a garbage can, but he was dining with Kagome. He was in a large wonderful house. He was miles away from his father. And he was safe.

This was an exceptionally good day.****

_Author Notes  
_  
Just to tell you, you guys have read fifty pages of this story so far.

NEW STORY! I am gonna upload a new story this weekend and its really good and it took me forever to write. Its a one shot, full of angst, and lots of flashbacks. All that good stuff. Its relly good! So please read it! Oh, and my fourth poem on my poetry section. My daddy liked it so much he's getting it published. Please read them!****

Aww, hes so happy in this chapter! Im so happy to lay off the abuse for a while, but now Im having these sadistic urges that I must....AUGH! MUST **KIILLL!!! **Ahem, anyways. Heres your long ass chapter, this thing took me a whole freakin DAY to write! Goddamnit, its so long! It weighs in, all in all, at a giant 2750 words! I mean, god DAMN! Thats huge! It took me forever to write too. This story is getting so big.

I am happy to be talking more about Inu's childhood, it really helps in understanding how he thinks, and why he does things. Not to mention there are special secrets that I have in store regarding his childhood. But you can see how he was treted as a kid and that helps you understand the story more. In this chapter you can see Inu Yashas growing detatchment for his father, and the way he did, at one time, actually care for the man. GASP And you also see a bit of the souring relationship of his parents. I love flashbacks. Yumm.****

_  
Review Responses_

The Female Inu Yasha- OMG! I loved your review! No one has ever told me that they want to be as good as me. ::huggles:: I feel like a super author now. I started out sucky so you can only get better. At first my stuff was all shitty pointless fluff. ::sigh:: Thanks anyway!****

Tangled Wires of Doom- Thanks so much for your review! And yea, the strange happiness of his school life and the utter misery of his home life does have the desired effect. It kinda knocks the wind outta ya huh?

**Silver Dog Demon-** Everyone wants Kagome to walk in on Inu getting beat. Man, I dont get it. But, I'll tell you now, she does eventually meet Inu's daddy once, not for a LONG time though.

**Darren Lee-** Oh my god! Your review made the happiest person alive! I can't belive it made a guy CRY, um, almost. And all that about feeling what Inu felt, and relating to the character, and re reading the happy chapters when you had a bad day, that was just so awesome. And that this actually inspired you to fanfiction. God, that was the best thing anybody's ever told me. Thank you so much. ::sniffles:: Like seriously, its reviews like that that make me write as much as I do, in hopes of reaching someone like that. Freaking awesome. Thanks so much. BTW have you written any fics of your own?

**Maboroshi Kaji- **Yeah, Kagome has her secrets. You learn them later. And she doent have a brother in this fic. Next chap is all about her and her family. But not about her past! Nya! :P And, as she mentioned in chap 11, Inu is her only friend at the moment. At the moment****

_Next chap_: **The Moonflower. (**Minor fluff.**)  
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	13. Moonflower

**_All's Fair in Love and War_ **

_Chapter Thirteen_

**The Moonflower  
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'Hear the bells! Silver Bells! What a world of merriment their melody foretells! How they tinkle, tinkle, tinkle, In the icy air of night! While the stars that oversprinkle, All the heavens, seem to twinkle, With a crystalline delight...'  
**  
The Bells **E.A. Poe

* * *

Dinner had been delicious. Kagome's mother, though a tad lacking in common sense, was an excellent chef. There had been sushi, teriyaki chicken, miso, oden, and any other food that Inu Yasha had always dreamed about having but never had the chance to taste. Conversation had been nice. He sat next to Kagome, and across from her mother, who seemed quite taken with the half breed boy. After a delicious dinner, Inu Yasha sat on the futon at the table, literally stuffed to his seams. "Would you like any more Inu Yasha?" 

"Uh, no thank you, I don't think I could take another bite." he said.

"Hm, yes I suppose three servings is enough to fill anybody." she said while nodding. "Why don't the two of you go play in the garden while I clean up in the kitchen?"

"You have a garden?" Inu Yasha asked excitedly.

"Why yes, have Kagome show you to it." she said and walked off to the kitchen carrying a small stack of dishes.

Kagome and him faced each other and soon found themselves both sporting bright smiles. She grabbed his hand and led him out of the shrine in an instant. She took him through a maze of hallways and doors until she got to one and opened it, revealing to Inu Yasha the most beautiful garden he had ever seen.

All around were lovely flowers, and thick lush grass. Tall shrubs and huge trees stuck out everywhere, and small crystalline wind chimes sung with the wind that blew them to and fro. From the trees, charms and crystals hung, and they reflected the moonlight to form lovely irridescent prisms across the garden. He stepped out of the shrine slowly, and almost thought that he was dreaming. He half way felt like asking Kagome to pinch him to see if he was really awake.

"This garden..." he said, almost speechless for a word to describe it. "Its amazing! Its better anything that I've ever seen before!" She stood behind him, smiling in delight of his happiness. He stood completely still, unmoving from bewilderment. Everything here seemed so perfect, so beautiful. He wanted to stay and live in this garden for the rest of his life. It was everything he had dreamed of, everything he wanted.

He stepped forward, walking down the pebble set path and stopped in the middle. He looked ahead of him and saw a large fountain. It had a couple lilly pads and pink and purple flowers that rested upon the waters surface. On the waters surface the moons reflection shone brightly. He gazed around at the overtaking beauty of the area around him.

"Its beautiful, isn't it?" the soft voice asked.

"Amazing..." he said simply.

"I would always come here as a child." she said "It was my favorite place. Whenever I was sad, I would come here and it would make me feel better. I came here a lot."

"Oh." he said, but upon further thinking he added, "Didn't you move here from America"

"Yes, I had only been in America for a year before this. When I was little I lived here but my mom moved away after my dad died." A frown blotted out her smile. She paused, unsure of whether or not to continue. "She got very sad after he died, and couldn't take living here any longer, so she took me and moved to America without the rest of my family knowing. They got very upset, because she managed the family shrine with me."

"Because she managed the shrine?" he asked.

"Yup." she said.

"As in, they didn't care about her well fair?" he asked.

"Nope." she said. "They just didn't want to bear the responsibility of managing this land." She sighed. "People can be so mean."

"Wh-why?"

"It is ... difficult to explain." She contemplated silently. "I don't suppose you could say our family is as tightly knit as one would assume. We kind of have a 'special' family. Nobody really cares about anyone. Its about power, and strength. That's all they want, not me or my mom, aside from the fact that we take care of the inherited family land."

"That sucks. I never even met any family aside from my mom and ... dad." he said, grunting out the last part. Come to think of it, the only other person he even knew about was his half brother, but he was dead. "Um, I had a brother." he said.

"You have a brother? I never knew." she said, giving a little grin.

"_'Had'_ a brother", he corrected.

"O-oh." she said, her eyes widening a little.

Something soon caught Inu Yasha's eyes. As he looked around his shoulder, he saw, in the moonlight, a tall flower that had many buds sprouting from its thick stem. He was soon quite intrigued with the thing. He walked up to it, as if in a daze, and touched its petals.

"Its a moon flower." came a voice from behind him.

He came startled from his daze. "A what?" he asked.

"A moon flower." she stated. " It is an extremely rare plant that grows hardly anywhere in the world. It is quite spectacular in the fact that it only blooms by moonlight, and dies as soon as the sun comes up. A new seed is produced when it dies, and the old plant acts as a fertilizer." She nodded her head. "A miracle of nature indeed." she stated wisely.

He kneeled down beside it, too lost in thought of the flower to process anything Kagome had said. "Its amazing." he said after a while. Something he noticed about it, however was that it had a slight sparkle that gleamed from its petals and shone in the colors of the moon. But when he reached out to touch the star bathed petals the twinkle disappeared and he pulled his hand back to his side, only to retry moments later. Something about it was so hypnotizing."

She kneeled beside him. "Its pointless." she told him. "The thing that gives it its magnificent sparkle is the starlight. Brought to life by the moon, given beauty by the stars, quite amazing, huh?" She looked up at the stars shining brightly in the sky. He looked up from the flower and sat down next to it and her, with his hands cupped together inbetween his legs which stretched out in a V-shape in front of him.

"I think it's pretty, Kagome." he said, and again prodded the petal, in a failed attempt to feel the glittery surface.

"I love the moon flower." she said smiling. "I like to visit it every night. Though sometimes I feel slightly bad for it, knowing that it will die in a couple hours. It kind of makes me sad, thinking such a pretty plant only lives for one night. Though I envy it at the same time. Every moment it is alive, it is beautiful, careless, happy. It doesn't have to worry about thing that we have to worry about, because it only lives one night. But, despite its short life span, it doesn't have to be a miserable plant. It is so short lived, but so perfect while alive." She thought for a moment. "Oh dear, I'm sure I sound absurd, rambling on and on about how a plant _feels." _She laughed softly.

He smiled at her nicely, though he had to admit he didn't really understand what she was saying either. "But if you want to see something even more amazing," she reached into her shirt as if searching for something. "Then you should look at this." She pulled out, from her pocket something that held tightly in her clamped hand. "Watch." she told him and his eyes followed her as she walked out near the fountain and sat on its ledge.

She opened her palm and on it sat a small crystal. Soon later, a show of lights illuminated the garden. The iridescent display of light shone from the small crystal, and all around, shooting lights, like shooting stars flew about her.

She smiled and hummed happily. The sound was strange and familiar at the sam time. He recognized it from somewhere. In fact, he found himself humming along to the melody.

She stopped humming and held the crystal to her chest,andher eyes fell half lidded as she looked down. And soon, the lights around them dissipated into the air, evanescing, without even leaving a trace that they were there in the first place. Inu Yasha saw one fading light swirl in front of him and leant over to touch it, watching it vanish before his fingers reached the lovely irridescent swirl.

Kagome stepped down from the rim of the fountain gracefully and glided over to Inu Yasha. "You like?" she asked.

"That was... awesome! What was...HOW did you do that" he was frantic, practically flailing his arms about.

"Well, I can share with you this secret, at least." She took him by the hand and led him to the awning that covered a small walkway by the building. She then unfolded her palm and showed the stone that sat in it, but now it was just like an ordinary rock.

"I don't get it." he said.

"Its a secret, so you can't tell anyone." she said waving her finger in front of his face. He nodded and waited for her to continue. "This is a special crystal, handed down by our family for generations. It carries sentimental value of sorts. My dad gave it to my mother when they got engaged."

"Then why doesn't your mother have it?" He asked.

"I loved him too." She looked down sadly, seemingly hurt. He sent her a sorry gaze and reached out to her, but she spoke. "She gave it to me. I think it was a way of letting herself move on." She paused. "But she'll never forget him. She used to cry a lot." Inu Yasha found a quick conversation changer.

"But how come it isn't glowing like before?" he asked her, puzzled, wondering why the beautiful display of lights could not be seen now.

"For several reasons." she stated. "One being, it only glows when under moonlight. I suppose you could call it a disco ball of sorts. But the lights can not be seen under regular light."

"And the singing?" he asked.

"Oh, I just love that song. Its so pretty isn't it" She said. "And I think it glows brighter when I sing it. I don't know why."

"Hm, it is." He agreed. "Where did you learn it?"

"My mom taught me it." She said. "I learned it a long time ago though."

"It sounds so familiar. I think I heard it before." he said.

She looked shaken for a moment before her gaze settled to the regular, half lidded, non chalant look. "Ehh, maybe." Silence. They both stared up at the star laced sky.

"Isn't it pretty out Kagome" he said, breaking the momentary silence that had settled between them. "The sky never seemed as dark as tonight, the moon never seemed so full and bright. The stars never looked so radiant." He looked up into the twilight. "I like it like this. Space is such a nice thing to look at. Though, so empty."

She laughed softly, cupping her hands over her mouth. "What?" he asked,

She looked up at him, smiling warmly. "You're the only person that I know that would ever notice something like that." she laughed more to herself. "You talk weird Inu Yasha."

"And is that a bad thing" he asked innocently, and put his finger to his lips, pouting and raising his eyebrows teasingly.

"No." she reached out and with her soft, long fingers she rubbed the soft fur on his ears listening as he purred softly, with a purr a little more intense than that of a cat, yet deeper, and softer. "I like the way you purr Inu Yasha." she told him, but he wasn't listening.

* * *

Inu Yasha trudged through the dark night in the thick mud that now caked the streets, runoff from the rainfall he assumed. His sneakers were covered thick with mud, and his untied shoe laces slapped against the back of his legs, leaving muddy streaks where they hit him. Yet he could find himself grinning softly. Ms, Higurashi had come to the garden and woken him up. He had gathered his things, and left, saying goodbye to the nice family that had sheltered him, saying goodbye twice to Kagome. 

Ms, Higurashi had kindly put the clothes she gave him into a bag, as he requested and he asked to leave that clothing at her house, knowing his father would rip it to shreds if he saw it.

He reached his street and walked through the mud that glopped about his heels. As soon as it came into sight, he lost the lovely transcendently happy smile and his face gained a more serious, more sad tone to it. He walked up to the door and shook at the doorknob.

It wouldn't open.

He shook harder. Still not working. _'Its probably just stuck or something.' _He decided. He rammed his body against the door and still nothing. He put his dog ear against the knob and jingled the handle. _'Fuck! He locked it! The bastard went and locked it' _he thought angrily and stomped his feet. _'I'll just go through the window.' _He decided. He went up to the window and tried opening it. Locked again. Resorting to desperation, knowing well the consequences of his actions, he threw his fist at the glass, feeling his it bounce off the surface.

_'Shatterproof glass? No one ever told me we had shatterproof glass.' _He uttered profanities and went off to every window in his house, trying to open them, but finding the same difficulty with each one. Finally, when he was so tired that he felt like he could collapse right where he stood, he lay down at the doorstep of his house and curled into a ball. Sitting in the dirt and grime of the world, he rolled uncomfortably, covering himself, more and more, in filth.

It was that night he realized what Kagome had meant when she talked about the moon flower, its short beautiful life that synchronized so perfectly with his happiness. That the perfection its short lived beauty could far out do its tragic, yet numerous deaths. And the thought of knowing that there will come a time that your perfect happiness will die is a sad thought, but that is exactly why you must treasure its life.

And here he lay, wet and dirty, cast aside to the street, sleeping in mud and grime, yet, remembering his lovely night, he couldn't help but feel a faint hint of a smile growing on his face...

**_Author Notes_**

I really like this one. Because it has metaphors of course! I find it quite lovely that, though he is sitting in his stoop, covered in shit, he can stiLl smile because he remembers his happiness he had before with Kagome. Kind of romantic. And it's kind of hard to tell whether this chapter is a sad or happy one. I mean, on one hand he had a beautiful evening and yet he came home to shit. I mean for god sakes, he ended up sleeping in a pile of mud! Which leads me to my question for this chappy.

**Do you think that Inu Yasha could truly be considered _happy_? And if so then what reasons does he have to be happy?** I mean his life is pretty tragic.

**And do you think that his suffering could be made up by his time with Kagome? **Um, like, even if he suffered so much before, that that wouldn't matter as long as he got to have some kind of comfort and happiness somewhere along the line.  
**  
**I'm not exactly sure I worded it right, but that's basically the gist of it. So, any ways, my story has become quite popular. I mean, I have so many reviews! I never dreamed any of this possible! Thank you guys, I can die happy now. I love you guys! sniff I think I have around like 30-40 people rereviewing this story. Which is a lot. To me.

PLEASE REVIEW!  
_  
Next chapter: _**Marionette Man**

Review!


	14. Marionette Man

**_  
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Chapter Fourteen_  
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Marionette Man**   
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He tied you to the kitchen chair. He broke your throat, he cut your hair, and from your lips, he drew the hallelujah.'_

**Hallelujah **Rufus Wainwright

:

The young sun beat down on the earth, casting a golden tint on everything it touched. Inu Yasha's eyes opened slowly, squinting from the bright light, and he stretched out his limbs, yawning as he did so from his position on the stoop. His skin was caked with mud and he decided that the first thing he would do when he got inside was take a shower.

As it turned out, his father decided not to leave for his weekendly trip of intoxication just yet. He walked over to the man's bedroom window and peered in, seeing the man's sleeping form toss and turn, hairy gut exposed. He winced and prayed to god tht he didn't look like that when _he _got older. Once again, thank the lord he took after his mother.

Come to think of it, he was practically her twin. He wondered, if she were still alive would people confuse them for siblings? After all, she had him when she was younger. If she was still alive how old would she be? He supposed it didn't matter, seeing as age is not an issue for demons. Demons' appearences can be decieving indeed.

He sighed, not daring to chance a knock on the window. Daddy's not a morning person. He supposed he would have to wait until the man woke up. He supposed this might take a while. Perhaps he decided to do his drinking or _other _things in the house? He cringed and crinkled his nose in disgust at the thought of the things he might find littering the house. Needles? Bottles? Broken glass? _Leftovers? _Ew, hopefully not leftovers.__

He had to wonder how a man with hardly enough money to feed himself had enough money to buy alcohol and drugs every weekend. _Enough _alcohol and drugs to keep him fucked up the _entire _weekend. Sometimes he wondered if he would be abe to go to college. He defintely_ wanted _ to go. But those kinds of things are expensive. Perhaps by some miracle or other he would be able to go, but more than likely, it was just a far off dream.

He sighed and slumped down to the step that led to his house. Sometimes he wondered what the hell the neighbor's where doing all these years. He remembered meeting them once. They had a daughter. Or maybe it was a son? Or some visiting relative? Who cares anyways. Sometimes he thought that maybe they avoided him because they were scared of his father, but more thann likely it was his fangs, ears, and other demonic features.

Didn't they see him outside? Weren't people supposed to _care _ about abused children? Then how come nobody wanted to save _him_? He _was_ half human, after all. He remembered seeing commercials for things like child abuse, or women who were abused by their husbands. Funny thing though- He never saw a _demon _ child or woman in any of those commercials. Only humans. Were they cuter or something? Well, so much for the kind heartedness of the human race. As far as he was concerned, there was one human in the world that would actually even _notice _ if he dropped dead. But that was enough to keep him from doing so.

Kagome.

What is there to say about Kagome? Kagome is ... odd. Kind. Different. Unique. Carefree. Mysterious. Soft. He didn't exactly know where he got that last one, but there was indeed something about her that was very soft. The way she laughed, or the way she smiled. Maybe the way she felt. She had hugged him once before. It was the day after he had almost been beaten to _death, _quite literally, by his father. He remembered that embrace. He remembered the horrible pain too though. She made that feeling fade pretty quickly though. He didn't even know what it was about it.

He didn't exactly _want _ Kagome in that way. He didn't even think about the idea of _anybody _ hugging him. Ever. Somehow, that feeling, the one of physical closeness had been forgotten after his mother's death. Ever since then, nobody touched him, with the exception of his father's damaging hands. Nobody talked to him, aside from the occasional glare or awkward stare. Everyone just seemed to be happy thinking he wasn't there, or if they did notice him, throwing insults at him seemed to bring smiles to their faces.

Kagome was warm. Maybe that was it? Was it that warmth? She had a special kind of warm. Not really the warm summer day kind of warm, the thick enveloping kind of warmness that brings small beads of sweat to the skin. Nor was it the hot bath tub kind of warmth, the one that is omnipresent and brings blood to one's cheeks and a feeling of slight dizziness. It was more like the feeling of clothes fresh out of the dryer, the kind of warmth that hugs like a blanket. He didn't exactly know a word to describe the way that she felt. Warm. Soft. They fit, but somehow they seemed to be dancing around the subject. There was something else.

The back of the door swung open and hit him sharply on the back. He cringed and turned his neck slightly to greet the red blood shot eyes that greeted him. The man at the door held a steady gaze. The man's thick frown lines and saggy cheeks contrasted with the child's fresh youthful skin. He narrowed his eyes for a moment. The ball was almost completely covered by his fatty eyelids.

A grunt of contempt was heard and the man turned away, obviously just not in the mood to toss the regular insult. Perhaps he was scared that the neighbors were watching? Fuck, who cares if they neighbors were watching? They were always watching. Funny thing, though. They never really cared.**  
**__

**:Later:**__

Inu Yasha threw a plate of day old spaghetti on the table which a mans legs were perched. He felt someone's elbows jab into his ribs and yelped in compliance scuttling off to his only place of solitude, his closet of a room. He laid his heaping mound of schoolwork aside his bed and sat down carefully.

For the past few weeks, the beatings had been few and far apart. Ever since the last time he was beaten so severely he guessed his father decided to lay off of him, lest he break his favorite toy. Then he would have nothing to play with, and there was no fun to be had with a broken toy. In fact, that was all he was to his father': a little puppet. A marionette. Just a little trinket to entertain him. A little toy for him to do with as he pleased. He was only there to be abused. His only purpose was to be used. That and nothing more. He corrected the frown on his face and replaced it wih an unhappy smile.

He found that somtimes, even if he was feeling horrible, like the day that his fathers beatings were rough, or that couple of days when Kagome missed school because she had a flu, if he smiled, he could pull through. Being fake happy is almost as good as actually being happy, right? Some of the times, he really didn't even care. As long as it took the pain away for a while, he didn't care what the hell he was actually feeling. Every one always talks about showing your true feelings, but what if you don't even _know _ what your true feelings are? What if you don't want to feel anything, because it hurts too much to do so? What then? Should you just let yourself suffer?

Numb can feel nice sometimes. But only when you can make it go away. Feeling is wonderful. Even if you feel bad things, when you feel good things, its like the bad doesn't even matter anymore. There is, indeed, a certain balance that these events have. For some reason, in the end things turn out fair somehow.

He sighed in utter disgust at the situation, the only fact that he was not being beaten horribly was because his father was afraid to kill him. And the only reason being for that was the fact that if Inu Yasha died then there would be nothing to entertain him.__

As he scanned his body, he could scarcely see any remnants from the beating he had received before. Only small fading bruises and developing scars were visible, a small toll on his body, compared to the original amount of damage he had received.__

Though there was one thing that bothered him. His chest. That dreaded miserable mutilation on his chest. It wouldn't go away! He had waited, and waited, yet the most it had done was scar over. All other cuts he had would have been completely healed by now, but this hideous monstrosity had only formed thin tan lines spelled in the very words he wished never to hear again! This situation confused him more than anything else. The cuts didnt seem so deep when they were fresh on his body, yet they stayed there on his chest.

Unloved.'

He knew what it meant but why had his father chosen that word? Of course, he knew this was probably some strange new way of torturing his son, knowing that Inu Yasha would never dare voluntarily speak to his father about anything. However, as Inu Yasha had noticed, when ever his father beat him, he was usually too angry, too possessed by his malice, to even think of performing such crude upon Inu Yasha's body as he had done.

This sudden change in style, he decided, would remain an enigma to him, as he never dared ask his father about the circumstances in which he decided to write, in blood, upon his own chest. His fingers traced the letters and he snarled before throwing his shirt back on. It was okay if no one loved him. Someday, someone would. He just needed to find them. It was such an aspiring thought.

Upon his entering his room, Shippou pounced pounced at him and locked himself against Inu Yasha's left leg. Inu Yasha smiled brightly at the little neko, seemingly attached to his leg. Hey Shippou. he said, still gleaming with happiness at being able to see his kitten.

Inu Yasha! was all he managed to squeak out.

I'm glad to see you too. he said with a hint of a laugh and just a tang of sarcasm in his voice.

You've been busy lately Inu Yasha. I haven't had much time to spend with you. He frowned slightly. I miss you...

Inu Yasha's bright smile faded quickly upon hearing the boys complaint. I know, Shippou, I know. School's been getting harder and harder. I have to do well in high school you know. They put this stuff on your permanent record. I want to become something when I grow up, you know? He bent down and patted the boy's head. But I promise I will do something with you soon. We can go somewhere together, somewhere far far away. He smiled at the thought of such happily spent time. Just him and Shippou. Perhaps Kagome could come along as well. He knew that Shippou would like her. I promise.Really promise? he asked.

he said with a laugh. I _really _promise.Crosses don't count! he said almost too sternly, to the point where it was almost comical, coming from such a little boys mouth. 

But of course. he said.

he said with a look that said I think I'll trust you for now.'

I'll find something for us to do soon. he said, his lips brimming with a smile. He sat down on his bed and Shippou pounced upon his lap, curling up into a tiny ball on his legs.

Inu Yasha! he heard a scream from the kitchen. He placed Shippou on the bed, and walked out towards the kitchen. He saw the man hopping around the kitchen on one foot, holding the other one, while barely managing to keep his balance. It almost made him laugh.

he asked, awaiting demands.

What the -FUCK- do you think you're doing leaving pieces of glass on the floor, you half breed filth?I didn't put it there. he replied irritably. Watch where you step, you might hurt yourself. _Not that I care._'

Well what in the hells does this look like? he held out his foot, covered in blood, the broken piece of bottle still stuck in the wound. Inu Yasha could have snickered to himself, had he not known that he would have probably cost him his life.

Ehh, what can you do? he sighed and turned to walk away.

He felt a large pan hit the back of his head and fell down to the floor, whimpering. You seem to be getting quite an attitude. he hissed vehemently. Never forget who owns you! he spat.

He still lay on the floor, rubbing the back of his head. That hurt. A lot. This would get interesting. Who _OWNS _me? he said though it was more a statement than a question. That was easy. _I own myself. I think_.' I do... I suppose. he said, more to himself than anyone else, still pressing his hand against the spot he had gotten hit.

WRONG ANSWER! he heard. Another blunt object connected with the back of his hand, sharply smacking his fingers away. He hissed, and got up, fighting the sharp pain that shot through his head at the moment. _Cant show weakness. If I do, I only get hurt more.' _ he reminded himself. He stood in an awkward slouched position, his hand rubbing the back of his head.

What are you doing? That hurt. he said hollowly, as if he simply disregard that he just gotten hit in the head by a rather _large_ frying pan, and a pretty sharp cheese grater. He could feel warm blood starting to trickle from his fingers.

So what now? It doesn't hurt any more? his father took a few steps toward him, his glare striking fear into the heart in his hanyou chest. Can't feel anymore Inu Yasha? What...? Too high and mighty for pain, huh? he spat. Inu Yasha could feel the beating before it happened. More pain, more suffering. Today wouldn't be a good one. He couldn't help but start shaking. Don't worry. he said. I'll change that. He laughed twistedly. Inu Yasha had hardly ever heard him laugh, and when he did, it usually boded ill to somebody. That somebody, usually being himself.

The man grabbed his arm.

Feel this.

He twisted his arm into a horrible position, and gave it one last crank so that he could feel his bones shifting inside his body. He hissed and spat, but the man didn't let go.

Do you feel it Inu Yasha? he said sickly. The pain? he asked. The boy whimpered, holding back his tears. Heh, thought so. The man let go and walked away, snorting. Don't forget what you are. he said. You are my son. You are my blood. he told him in a frighteningly soft voice.

he coughed out.

he asked, holding a hand to his ear.

I belong...to... you... He whimpered bitterly. He knew he shouldn't have said it. Regret followed those words faster than his tears. He cried, still whimpering in pain from his dislocated shoulder. To you... you... you... To... he repeated, sniffling in his urge to keep back his remaining tears.

Don't forget it. He turned away.

After a few moments in the kitchen he ran to his room and slumped to his bed, sobbing softly. Shippou, still in his cat form, walked up to him and rubbed against his arm. He recoiled at the hiss of pain he received from Inu Yasha. Through his blurry vision, he looked at his arm. It was twisted in a sick position that made him not even recognize that it was his own body he was looking at.

He knew what he had to do. However he was also well aware that it would hurt like hell. Gulping, he shakily grabbed his arm tight in his other hand. he said in a shaky voice. The tone frightened the cat demon.

Cover your ears.

Before Shippou had the chance to reply, Inu Yasha clamped his eyes shut and yanked his arm down, snapping it back into its original position. However the sound that came from him was so terrorized and shrill it sounded inhuman, frightening even. Throughout the entire household it rang, shrieking and screaming to expel the pain in his body. It continued for a moment as he released the enormous pain through his voice, well aware that he might have just gone and shattered all his vocal cords. But it hurt so much. It was unlike anything he had ever felt.

The hitting, the bruises, that he could deal with. Even when he bled, he could handle that. But this, this was beyond any pain. His scream resounded through out the house and faded into silence, in a slow dragged on manner as he crumpled into himself, curled into a tight ball, whimpering and crying from the intense pain.

Shippou reluctantly walked over to him, unsure of whether or not to approach him. He mewed in question of his well fair. Inu Yasha turned his head slightly to the kitten, eyes only open enough to barely see him, filled and overflowing with tears, that glistened in the ill lit room. Shippou noticed the boy's normally brilliant gold eyes were now dull, and brazen.

The silver haired youth bit his lower lip and tried, unsuccessfully, to smile. Shippou rubbed against his leg, trying to show his sympathy. He was, however, soon pushed away by Inu Yasha. Im sorry Shippou... he said breathlessly, his almost colorless eyes flickering open and closed in a desperate attempt to retain his consciousness, and fell down on his bed, fast asleep.

_ -_

**Author Notes**  
**  
It's my birthday today! I'm 15 today! **

**OOH! Our little hanyou sure has changed. ** Now Its important to notice his character in this chapter. I mean, this probably happened a couple weeks or so after the last chappy. Just look at his character! I mean, he fought back against his father. Note that, it is quite important. And the way his father whips him into shape, bends him to his liking.

**Hence**: _Marionette_ Man. Anyone who understands the correlation between the title and the chapter gets a cookie. Chocolate chip anyone?

You have to realize the relationship between Inu and his dad, it helps to understand the story and the way he is now. However he is slowly changing, and you all can guess why. Thank the lord for blue eyed girls.  
**  
A question you might have: **_Why did he pass out? _Mortifying pain has a tendency to make one lose ones conscienceness. He does that next chapter too. Only because I have to find a way to make him fall asleep on the bathroom floor.

Whoo! Im so happy, I feel so free! Ah the limits of writing are truly boundless. It's like you can live in the world you create, there is nothing quite like it. Yet all this freedom, I don't know what to do with it. ... Sigh. I better set the plot bunnies to work. Faster you stupid rabbits!__

Next chapter: **Broken Glass**_  
_  
(I swear I didn't steal that title from Sleepwalking Chickens story! . )

Reviews please! I don't usually do this, but I am feeling rather poo-ey and uninspired like so please spread butter on your reviews. I had an icky week! But it is my BIRTHDAY today! And my Alex friend is here! And I love her THIS much:opens arms: Okay, please review. Eat pocky!


	15. Broken Glass

_  
_**  
Chapter Fifteen**_  
__  
_ **Broken Glass**_  
_****

::  
_  
Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me. Distracting, reacting. Against my will I stand beside my own reflection. It's haunting how I can't seem... To find myself again. My walls are closing in. Without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take. I've felt this way before, so insecure.  
_  
**Crawling **Linkin Park  
**  
::**__

Bath time Inu Yasha! a voice yelled. Not that it had to. He loved water. Loved swimming, loved baths, loved everything about it. In two seconds flat a bare naked half breed boy was running into his bathroom, eagerly awaiting his bath. Well you seem excited little one! his mother sad cheerily, kneeling down to eye level with the naked little boy. He made a dopey smile and nodded his head, throwing locks of silver hair around his face.

Now go bathe silly! she said swatting his butt as he ran into the bathroom, squealing childishly. He slipped into the bathtub and sighed happily, feeling dizzy from the sudden rush of blood to his head from the heat

He sunk, chin deep, into the water and goose bumps arose everywhere on his soft flesh. He rocked back and forth, the motion of he water propelling him front and back. Of all the things he liked about his home, he loved bath time. He loved the feeling of water. Loved the warm comfort of it, loved the fact that it covered every inch of his body in its warmth. It made him feel calm and almost tired, He just ... loved it.

He started to raise his arms to put them behind his head and rest his head upon them, but as he did this the large bruise on his upper arm caught his eyes. It was a dark cruel shade of purple. Taunting him with its dark color and hurting him with its soreness. It just seemed to scream evil things to him. Things he didnt want to hear. Things he wished would just leave him alone so they could let him be happy. His narrowed eyes closed to prevent tears from filling them as he pulled the arm around to the back of his head.

He got out half an hour later. His cheeks were blush pink from the hot water and his white mane smelled of lavender and jasmine shampoo. A fluffy red towel wrapped around his waist, barely hanging onto his trim waist. He stopped in the middle of the bathroom before the giant full length mirror that hung upon the door. He looked at his reflection and was almost shocked to see it.

This... this is not me... he uttered silently, as he reached out his hand to touch the cold glass, almost as if to see if it was real. He prodded his reflection and then touched himself, and repeated this again and again. His face looked confused. This person in the mirror, it wasn't him. This person was ugly and scary, the monster all the children at school were laughing at. How could they be the same? From a distance, the person looked like him, but this, this wasnt him.

Or was it?

Had he changed? Was this what he really was? A monster. That would be able to explain a few things but that answer did not satisfy him. He put his palm against the glass and felt the warmth from it instantly leave as the cold mirror came into contact. He saw the image in the mirror follow his actions and the palms met.

His mom often told him stories about him. Stories of wild adventures and terrifying monsters. He realized that the Inu Yasha in her stories was different than the Inu Yasha in the mirror. And the Inu Yasha in the mirror was different than him. The Inu Yasha in her stories wasbrave and strong. He could lift boulders and kill monsters. He was confident and kind hearted. And now, looking back on those tales, the Inu Yasha in the story was not him at all. He was the monster. He was the dragon or the ogre that was slain by the brilliant imaginary alter ego his mother made for him.

His hand slid down the glass and fell to his side. Continuing to glare at his reflection he lowered his head and glared at it. It glared back. He raised his upper lip and snarled, bearing a small white fang. It mimicked. Raising his head he looked sadly at the boy in the mirror, the bitter glare of defeat beaming at the child through his own eyes. This sad ugly boy couldn't be him. He knew it! But there he was standing in the mirror looking straight back at him. And mirrors don't lie. he said softly he then yelled. Before he even realized he had done it, he pulled his arm back until his fist could have grazed his cheek and then released it, sending it flying towards the boy in the mirror.

The glass repelled his attack and the ball of his fist bounced off like a rubber ball. So he tried again. He punched it again and again, until his arms were tired. With each small, insignificant blow, the glass shook, but not once did it fracture, crack, or even show any sign of damage, it only shook against the wall, which it hung from. So he kept punching fast, and harder, and again and again and again. Again. And again. And again. Until his arms were sore and his hands felt like they were going to fall off. 

However he refused to stop until he had killed the boy in the mirror. But yet, every time he tried to punch the boy in the mirror, the boy also punched back, and their fists met at the mirrors smooth glossy surface. If only he could break the glass, he thought, he could get rid of the boy in the mirror. And if he could do that, then he could be a good boy. Then people would like him. Then he could be happy.

If only he could get rid of that miserable child! 

Why wont you just...go away...? he asked inbetween blows and labored breaths.

His punches started out rapidly. At first they were in rapid succession of each other, one after another after another, so that the sound emanating from them sounded more like that of a person shooting a machine gun than that of one punching their reflection. However, after time had taken toll on his small arms, they were slowing down. His breathing was labored and heavy. He punched very slowly and breathed heavily inbetween. Giving one last punch his eyelids closed and he collapsed on the cold damp bathroom floor. His little body lay curled upon the granite floor and his crumpled fists sat in curled balls aside his head.  


His eyes shot open and he jolted upwards. Covers slid down his torso and he brought his hand up to his chest. His rapid hartbeat shook his very flesh. He took a deep breath and waited for himself to calm down. _A dream?_' he thought, then after some consideration, _No. Not a dream. A nightmare. In fact, even scarier than a nightmare. A memory.'  
_  
He stood and walked into his bathroom, and stood in front of the mirror hanging over his sink. He looked fine, his face alit with the light from the moon. He stared long and hard at his image, every second, his hazy vision distorting it, until he couldn't clearly make it out his own face. Until at last, he pulled back his fist and slammed it into the glass, watching in amazement as it fell to the ground in a thousand shattered pieces He had done it! Broken the glass! 

But, disappointingly enough, there was nothing behind it. No perfect world, no other place, not even an evil child he had to kill. Just a plain piece of wood backboard which stared back at him. He found himself quite relieved, seeing as he really didn't _want _to fight any evil demon children at the moment, but found himself somehow disappointed that there wasn't _anything _ there. He had always wondered what was behind mirrors.

When he was younger he though that maybe there was another world. Like an alternate universe, like something out of the matrix. Sometimes he would look into the mirror and imagine a world where everything was perfect. There were no women getting raped or murdered. There was no heart brake, no wars, no hate. There were no little boys with abusive fathers. There was just quiet. Peace and quiet. A world without pain, a world without suffering. This world did not exist.

He took a careful step back, pushing the glass into a corner of the bathroom with his foot. He never liked anything sharp or pointy. Wherever there were sharp and pointy thing, there was blood and cuts, and wherever cuts fade, scars remain. He hated those too. He had too many already. He could do very well without any more, thank you very much.

But one thing that amazed him was that he could break the glass. He remembered before that he couldn't penetrate its surface, no matter how hard he tried. But now, in one punch he had shattered the entire mirror. He had gotten stronger. And despite his hand, now covered in blood, he was left pretty unscathed. He liked this feeling.

_"Mommy!" he called. "I got my pajamas on!" he called, waiting for the sound of flittering footsteps to come towards his room. They came as he expected and he dove onto his bed, pulling covers up to his chin. He actually had a real bed. His room was small, but the apartment they were living in was just as small. There were two bedrooms, one kitchen, one bathroom, and an area just big enough to squeeze in a makeshift formica dining table._

The knob turned and the lock clicked and the door came open. His mother trotted up to his bed and sat next to him. She smoothed the hair away from his face and smiled. "Night Inu Yasha." she said and kissed his forehead. She always kissed him there. Never his cheek, or his head, always on the forehead. He asked her once why and she just shrugged and said that if she kissed his forehead no one will have to know about it and he wouldn't be embarrassed. He grinned sheepishly and snuggled deeper into his sheets.  
_  
"Wow..." she said absent mindedly. "You're already in first grade. Your getting so old so quick." She looked at him and smirked. "When did you get so big Inu Yasha?" she asked rhetorically._

"Um ... I don't know?" he answered stupidly. She laughed softly. "What? Why are you laughing?" he asked sternly.

"No, it was just cute how you said that!" she said and ruffled the hair on top of his head, fingers gently brushing over soft dog ears. He gave a half grin and scrunched his eyes together as she rubbed his head.

'You think everything I do is cute." he grumbled cynically and snorted.  
  
_ "That's because it is!" she said high pitched tone. He rolled his amber eyes, trying not to let his smirk be visible to his mother. She corrected the messy hairs on his head and kissed him once again on the forehead_

"Hey mom?" he said and she turned her head to him. "Sing me a song." he said. She smiled at him and tapped her chin in thought before she openess her mouth and sung him to sleep.  


_Inu Yasha? Inu Yasha? Awake yet? Inu Yasha' _His eyelids parted slightly and clamped back together at the bright sunlight that penetrated his window. What?' He sat up slowly, supporting himself with his arms that were behind his back. What the...? Shippou slid down his chest.

Inu Yasha? Said Shippou whose image was becoming clearer in Inu Yasha's eyes as he rubbed them. What are you doing on the bathroom floor?On the what? he looked around him. He was laying, as Shippou said, in the middle of the bathroom floor. And all around him was shattered glass. Taking a sharp inhalation of air, he picked up Shippou and held him tight to his chest. he squealed. Don't come in here! You'll get hurt, or cut your feet or something! he got up and carried him to his bedroom.

What were you doing in there any ways? he asked, setting Shippou on his bed.

Well, um, I had to wake you up. he said.

Why? You usually sleep late. he said, curiously. _Come to think of it, you sleep an awful lot... Cats ..._' **-1-**

Well, I mean, It _is _ Monday, after all, and I just thought- he screamed, throwing on a clean...er pair of clothes than what he had on and running out the door. He was late for school. Two hours late for school. He ran as fast as he possibly could, ignoring the pain he received from it from his arm

**_  
Author Notes_**

Sorry this chapter is so short!

-1- Cats- Ever notice how cats always sleep? All my cat does is eat and sleep. Lazy arse.  
_  
**Oooh, I like this chapter. **_It has so much self loathing and scary flashbacks in it! Er, flashback/dreams. But in it, you get a taste of his feeling of worthlessness and self hatred. And in essence, how he thought that if he could get rid of himself, that he could be happy. Its almost suicidal if you look at it a certain way. But you do get a good smack of what Inu Yasha thought of himself when he was little, low self confidence. And, the lengths he went through to get rid of himself, even if he only tried to destroy his reflection, it was still subtly hinting at the thought that he was trying to get rid of his own self.

All in all its a pretty dark chapter, though I do like the part with Shippou at the end, where Inu yasha is lying in a pile of broken glass in the bathroom and he's all freaked out that Shippou will hurt himself on the glass. Kinda cute. This chapter is rather short though... I am sorry.  
_  
Next Chapter? _**Unlucky**_  
_


	16. Unlucky

**  
Chapter Sixteen**_  
__  
_**Unlucky**

  
_  
_

came her smoothly worded reply.

Please don't be late again. he pleaded. You're late a lot. I don't like to stay at school for too long. he said, frowning. The people there aren't really nice. They call me names sometimes. Some times a lot of times.

She frowned at the half blood boy in front of her and her silky ears drooped. She should have known that this happened. Why couldn't she have just married a demon? Things would be so much easier. But if she had, she wouldn't have had Inu Yasha for a son. Despite how she knew what he had to go through for acceptance among his peers, she loved him dearly. 

I'll be there tomorrow. I promise. She paused and soon her face lit up. I'll even be early! To make up for today, okay? she beamed. We can go somewhere together. he pulled her into a tight hug smiling with pure joy and eagerly awaiting to be picked up from school early the next day. 

Her face went blank for a moment and then lit up. Inu Yasha? Would you like to see a magic show? she said, and smiled warmly. I met a magician and he wants you to come and watch him. He can do all sorts of magic.Like ... pulling rabbits out of his sleeve? he asked, his mouth forming a tiny she said laughing. I think he could do that. she giggled. Will you come with me? she asked.

he said. But will we have time for trick or treating still? We have to go home in time! I don't want to miss any houses. he said.

I'll be there. she said. Just wait for me till tomorrow. I'll be there.  


__

I'm late.Well, that's obvious. said a woman behind the office desk in the tardy office, who checked her watch.

__I need a late pass. he said_  
_  
Well I'd sure think so. School started two and a half hours ago.

She finally decided to take pity on him and write him up a pass. Here. The class you're in is in room 8112.** -1-** She waved goodbye and he smiled at her and then flicked her off once he was out the door and around the corner.

Bitch...' he thought bitterly. He approached the door to his science class and stepped in, getting stared at by the entire class at the interruption the lesson.** -2-** He approached the teacher and handed her the pass.

You're very late Inu Yasha. the teacher told him while clicking away on the computer to enter his tardy.

No! Really!' He swore to God, if he got bitched at by one more person he was just going to rip their heads off! You know, they put this on your permanent record. Colleges look at those, don't you know? And if you don't into college then you'll fail and your life will be horrible and you'll end up becoming a teacher and- ... are you even listening? Inu Yasha was already in his seat by Kagome.  
_  
_Not really, Ms Vaca. This earned a small chorus of giggles from the class. 

Very funny Inu Yasha. the teacher said, making an exaggerated fake laugh. And by the way, it's VaccoYou'll be cleaning desks at lunch today. he shrieked. _Nobody ever listens to the teacher in this class! Why is she picking on me?_' The teacher filled out a slip and set it on her desk for him to collect. Grudgingly, he walked up to the front and swiped it off the desk. The teacher missed the dirty glare he sent her

We are going to start a project today, class. the teacher said. You will work in groups of two. It is due in two months. I will now hand you a packet of information that you must complete in the given time limit. Asieru, hand them out will you? A girl took the heavy stack of packets and handed them out to the class, nearly breaking her arm under their weight. The packet landed with a thud on Inu Yasha and Kagome's table.

I guess I'll be working with you then Kagome? he said, more so to verify it than to ask her. As if he'd ever pair up with anyone else in this room.

she chirped cheerily and winked. They exchanged grins and faced the teacher to coninue with their lesson.

That day at lunch, Kagome sat at the table without Inu Yasha, who was busy somewhere cleaning desks, but was joined by Sango. **-3-** Sango chan! Kagome squeaked.

Kagome chan! Sango squealed in retaliation. Over the past few weeks, the girls had grown to be good friends. Omigod! You wont believe what happened! she squealed girlishly.

Kagome said eagerly.

she said, milking Kagome of all the anticipation she could until she couldn't hold it in any more. She jumped up and down squealing. Can you believe it? He actually asked me out she asked.

I said yes! She pulled her hand out from under the table and flashed to Kagome a shiny plastic ring, probably from the coin machines they have at supermarkets. He even got me this ... thingy. She smiled brightly before the two broke out in laughter.

So, a big spender is he? She quipped, though she was utterly enthralled with her friends happiness with the thing.

Aw, but you should have seen it! He got down on his knees and everything, it was so cute! She said, shaking in excitement. She sighed happily.

That's kind of funny. Up till a couple weeks ago you hated him. Teen romance is confusing.

Well, I didn't really _hate _him. I suppose I was mad at him from grabbing my butt, but once you cleared that up with me we got back to being friends. She took the ring off and played it between her fingers.

And more, apparently. added Kagome

Sango's face flashed a deco pink color. Yeah, I owe you big time. Thanks for telling me that it might have been a mistake. He's so shy, he would never have been able to apologize to me without help.He's not here today is he? She suddenly asked, looking around the cafeteria.

Oh, he is, but he is just stuck in the lunch line. She giggled I swear you could wait forever in that line and it would never get any shorter. Good thing we bring our own lunches. She said, shaking a brown paper bag in front of Kagome's face. Well, all that aside, shall we eat? Said Kagome, pulling apart her chopsticks into two equal parts._ I should probably save some for Inu Yasha, for after school.'_

Hey Sango? asked Kagome, before stuffing a piece of sushi in her mouth. Miroku is in eighth grade with you, right?Well, actually, he's in seventh. Kagome raised an eyebrow. But the thing is, he is right after the cut off date for the eighth grade, so he's only a couple months younger than I am. He'll be fourteen pretty soon.That's weird. He is in homeroom with us. I always thought he was just one of the eighth graders they put in the advanced classrooms. she said.

Well yeah, he's some kind of prodigy child. He may not look it, but he's really smart. He has some ridiculously high GPA. They ran out of room in the honors eighth grade english, so they just put him in the regular ninth grade class with you and Inu Yasha. And as for me, my old school taught English a year ahead so they put me in ninth grade English.I'm glad. said Kagome to her friend, smiling.  
_  
_She found him after school, sitting in his favorite tree, as always, sketching away at his notebook. Inu Yasha! she said, knocking on the tree trunk. No response. Drawing again, eh? You've been doing that a lot lately. You are pretty good at it too. I wish you would let me see more of your pictures. She knocked harder. _He's pretty absorbed in his picture.' _she thought. If anything bothered her about his drawing, it was that he was so unconciese when he did it. But she was glad that he loved it so much.

I've brought you something. she said melodically. The smell of sushi drifted up to Inu Yasha and he picked his head up from his notebook. He tucked his book under his arm and leapt down from the tree, landing on his feet with a thud. He cringed slightly at the pain this brought him. You okay? Kagome asked, noting the pain that was evident on his facial expression.

Yeah, Im fine. he said and feigned a smile. It was better to avoid confrontation with Kagome about these kinds of things, he had learned.

About a week ago, his father had punched him in the chest, and his breathing was rough. When she asked him if he was okay and he just sighed, she hounded him for the next hour about what had happened to him and who was responsible. He had barely convinced her that he had run into a wall. Luckily for him, she could very well see him doing that. As intelligent as he was, he was a little spacey at times. At a _lot_ of times.

You sure? she asked, once more.

Really, I'm okay. He said and thought of a quick excuse. I tripped over the sidewalk curb and fell on my shoulder. It still kind of hurts. he told her. _'Kind of. Understatement of the year.'_ he thought with a silent laugh.

Very much on the verge of doubt, she gave him once last look and sighed, pulling out a bento box and handing it to him. she told him. I saved some for you. You usually get yours from the lunch line. That is, when you don't steal it.' she thought. And you're always hungry any ways. she said bitterly.

he chirped, and took the bento box from her. He opened it and found a few pieces of sushi, some leftover chicken teriyaki, and an egg roll with some soy sauce. Man, Kagome, do you only bring lunch to give it to me or what? he said. Actually come to think of it, she didn't ever seem to eat all of her lunch. In fact, he probably ate more of it than she did.__

Well I eat big dinners... she said. And, you always seem hungry for some reason. I mean, I don't get hungry a lot...Well, you want to come eat with me by the tree? he asked.

Actually, I'd like to but I have to get home now. she said distantly, gazing up to the sky. It was so very blue to-day.

Oh. Okay. See you tomorrow then?Yeah, bye Inu-Kun.Bye Kagome-chan. he said waving to her. They had gotten into the habit of calling each other nicknames. They had grown considerably closer over the past few weeks, but somehow it seemed like they had been friends much longer. He supposed that there were people out there that you just clicked with. Time had no part in it.  
_  
**Author Notes**  
  
**FANART! Please look at it!**_****

Yes, you heard me, someone actually drew me fanart! Chicken, I am forever in your debt!

http (colon) (slash slash) www (dot) deviantart (dot) com (slash) deviation (slash) 15839962 (slash)__

Just, erm, replace the words with the symbols.

Please check it out, it's absolutely gorgeous! Thanks again Chicken, you kick ass! Oh and for all you who are artists and would like to draw something for my story, feel free to.

**And here it is, your cute happy chapter! **I don't usually write these in this story, but it is fun once and a while to have a break from all the drama. Right? Of course I know that your thoughts probably don't run along the same lines but whatever. However, as much as I don't Like this chapter, it does make some points that are essential for the story line.

Gr, now I'm on a timeline. I hate adhering to the barriers of realtime. Stupid Ms. Vacco. :kicks:

**1 Room 8112-** There is, in this, a bit of truth. This is the room number for my science class, and my teacher in this class is a real bitch, if you don't mind me saying so. She is old and yells a lot. If that helps you get a mental image of what Inu's science teacher is like. By the way, vaca' is spanish for cow, so Inu was calling her a cow when he said that. Since the teacher doesn't speak spanish, she didnt catch the joke, thus her anger when the class started laughing and she didn't know why. And my teachers name really is Ms Vacco'! Funny isn't it? I know!_  
_**  
2 Awkward Stares-** Ever notice how whenever someone walks into a room, everyone in the room is quiet and looks at the person by the door like a bunch of idiots._  
_**  
3 Sango and Miroku- **OMG! We haven't seen Miroku or Sango in like ten chapters! I felt bad for them so I figger, what the heck, might as well squeeze them in somewhere. Plus, they play an important part in the story later. By the way, if anyone can gather from Sango, she is wuite a girly girl. I can just imagine her in pink skirts and snug fitting shirts. Her family is like stupidly rich.

_Next Chapter? _**Goodnight Daddy**

(Doesn't that have a bad ring to it?)

**Please review!**


	17. Goodnight Daddy

**  
Chapter Seventeen**  
**  
** **Goodnight Daddy**

Inu Yasha fiddled with the pen in his fingers. A blank pad of paper sat in his lap. Where do you want to go?

Shippou stared blankly into a corner of the room. he hummed. I don't know.Any ideas? he asked and scribbled down, Places to go with Shippou'.

He paused. I saw a flyer. he said. I was out one day, and there was this flyer for some kind of carnival, or circus or something. It supposedly only comes around every ten years, because it travels the world. They got clowns and animals and candy and all this stuff and um, it looks fun... He said in a little kid manner. I would like to go there.

Inu yasha's face froze in thought. Oh yeah. He finally said. I heard of that. It came when I was little too. I never got to go though.So can we go? Shippou burst, his child like gleam returning spontaneously as it sometimes tends to do.

he exclaimed after a very short moment og thought. Shippou threw his arms around Inu Yasha's waist and held him as tight as his small arms could. Inu Yasha grinned and pat his head, scratching under the cat child's chin. Shippou purred softly and curled up against Inu Yasha's leg. I cant wait to go. We can do it this weekend, kay?

He didn't have a lot of money saved up. He had started saving money from an early age, but most of it had been spent on food or other necessities he had been deprived of. He supposed, that if Shippou went in his cat form, he could sneak by, and Inu Yasha could always find a way around whatever security there might be.

Shippou crawled on to his lap, and resumed his purring. Catch anything good lately? he asked, mostly for the sake of conversation, but just a little bit of him wanted to keep tabs on what the boy was eating. Softly, Inu Yasha pinched Shippous stomach. He would do this on occasion to see if the kitten was eating right. He knew that Shippou would starve to death, if only to save him from any extra stress, so Inu Yasha always checked to see that the child maintained his weight. He seemed so have the normal weight and amount of flabbage, for his size. He could only guess, because they didnt have a scale, but the boy seemed to be eating fine.

he stretched. I got a squirrel yesterday. He yawned. They taste pretty good. I was surprised.So I guess you wouldn't mind bringing me squirrel meat sometime? he joked.

Um, if you want it. I don't think you'd like squirrel. Shippou said, missing the sarcasm.

I was just kidding! Inu Yasha said. Anything you catch, you should eat yourself. He rubbed the child's head. I don't think I'd like squirrel. They're too cute and fluffy to eat. I think it would make me sick. He could feel himself half vomit at the thought of eating the cute fuzzy squirrels he always saw in the trees on his way to school. Besides, I've gotten so good at shoplifting that food hasn't really been an issue for me. He knew he probably shouldn't be talking about stealing to Shippou, but he needed to do it. Even if he didn't want to, stealing was a necessary thing. 

Aside from the few times that his father gave him money to spend on food, which was not even that much money at all any ways, he was pretty much left to fend for himself. He sent a glare in the general direction of the other parts of the house, wishing ill upon that man.

He leant over and grabbed the cup noodles he had bought a while ago. He had orignally bought them because, in a weird way, they reminded him of Kagome, and that calmed him. Not to mention they make nice room fresheners. He sniffed the ramen scented air. He could only think how strange it was that he could smell the ramen through the plastic wrapping, and the added fact that the scent was strong enough to scent the entire room, which wasn't even that big any ways, but that's aside the point. He started to wonder why he had never eaten the Cup Noodles when he heard something in the kitchen.

The sound of breaking glass echoed through the house. someone cursed. He decided to stay in his room unless it was absolutely necessary to go outside. Broken glass never meant anything good in his house. In fact, it almost always resulted in some sort of scar. Speaking of glass, he needed to pick that glass off the bathroom floor. He hated cleaning.

He cautiously brought his hand up to his back and felt the small, almost unnoticeable scars that dwelled there. He knew he would never really be able to see them, but something startled him in the thought that they would never go away. His memories would always be right behind him, he thought. That metaphor scared him. He wanted his bad memories to go away, not stay with him.

He sighed and fell back on his bed, grabbing Shippou by the waist and hugging him to his chest. He felt kind of awkward when he did this but, Shippou seemed to enjoy it, and the kitten was always so warm and comforting. And when he purred it felt kind of neat. He had begun to feel a little more comfortable at his house since Shippou had begun to live with him. He was always there when he needed company. It was hard to feel alone when Shippou was there, even if Kagome was somewhere else. Shippou was good company. He scratched behind the small cat's ears, pleased at the resulting sound.

He closed his eyes. It was dark out, he decided sleep would be good. Inu Yasha? the kitten asked.

he replied softly.

You know when I met you for the first time, and I said you were my daddy?

- - - - - - - - - - - -  
_  
Umm ... kid? it sat on his lap and started purring like a kitten. So a cat demon are you? It looked up at him and smiled, nodding his head. "No offense or anything but who the hell are you? The kid took a seat on his lap._

I'm a Neko youkai! it said. My name is Shippou and you are my new daddy!What the? How the hell am I your dad? Inu Yasha asked in shock.

Because you saved me from the tree, remember and you brought me here, so you're my daddy now! it smiled as it jumped up onto InuYasha's shoulders and laced itself around his neck.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

The memory came back pretty quickly. Remember? How could I forget? he said. That situation definitely qualified as weird in his book. And weird things are quite hard to forget.

Um, well... he paused and thought, At first I just wanted a home, or someone to be near, but, but now... He faced Inu Yasha. You... you're really like my daddy. He trailed off. Inu Yasha smiled at this but couldn't really find anything to say. He hugged Shippou tighter.

Inu Yasha said, considering what to say. I suppose if someday I do have a kid, I want him to be just like you. he said. He nodded, it was true. As far as kids go, Shippou was a pretty good one. Your real parents don't know what they're missing out on. he added.

Shippou didn't respond. They don't... do they? he said, and for the first time, he his voice sounded somewhat drained, lacking the usual excitement and enthusiasm he showed. He couldn't see his face but he could already tell that the kid was on the verge of tears. He had hit a little too close to home. I suppose they don't care either then. he said softly, this time his voice was much quiter than the first statement and he was pushing a whisper.

Inu Yasha said sadly. He never knew of happy times with his own father, and from what his father told him, his mother was dead. The only person that had truly loved him was dead, and the last person in the world that would treat him with decency was his own father. He found something about that ironrc Its their loss, you know that, right?I know. he said. He sniffled once. But... why don't they want me? He sat up on the futon. I mean... He sniffled twice in a row. Even if I'm not as big or strong as my brothers and sisters are, does that mean that I'm not worth their time? He sobbed softly.

Inu yasha said and sat up next to Shippou, thin bed sheets canopied over their heads. You are worth it, they just don't know how great you are. You don't have to be big or strong to do great things. He pulled the bed sheets over both of them, and formed a small tent, or teepee, whichever it could be described as. I mean, look at my dad. He's huge, but he's also a piece of shit, so, so much for that theory._  
_  
Shippou laughed. You're funny Inu Yasha.Funny? Tch, I wish. Funny to look at maybe. he admitted, a hint of bitterness cloaked by the good homur in his voice, little blurbs of childhood memories coming back to slap him in the face. His dog ears on his head swiveled around and then turned to Shippou.

Hey, we're in the same boat here. I got ears too. he said.

Sure you do know, but when you get older and stronger, you will be able to take on a full human form. I think cats are supposed to be masters of disguise and whatnot. he said. He realized this. Whenever Shippou would walk to him, the soft pitter patter of his feet couldn't be heard on their floors very often, even with Inu Yasha's enhanced senses. He definitely had the walk of a cat. So I guess I will be the only dog eared one left.Um, I never had dog ears to begin with. Well, just be glad you don't have tail. he told him, flicking the furry appendage to the side. Inu Yasha was silently thankful that tails did not run in his family. To imagine how he would have to disguise it ... And how would he ever wear pants?

That, that would be weird. Definitely weird. he said aloud and gave a small deep chuckle. He heard Shippou giggle in small squeaks. He had often wondered about Shippou's laugh. Cats, as a race, and demon ones, are not capable of laughter, in their human form included. Smiling as well, is something not often seen when in cat or demon form. 

In the human form however, since humans lack the extra senses that a cat or dog would have, demon or not, the demon would smile on occasion to show joy or friendliness. But a smile in any other form would often be percieved as a form of aggressive behavior, making it even rarer to see a demon or cat smile. But, seeing as Shippou had been living with Inu yasha for so long, he figured that the kitten had picked up on his behavior of smiling, and now even laughter. Though he had to admit, it was a strange shrill kind of laughter that almost gave him chills.

Now, of course, Inu Yasha was half human, so his vocal cords were different than that of say a full demon or a humans, so whereas he could laugh, it usually accompanied a low growling sound and was deep in tone.

He grinned at Shippou, a small white fang poking over his lower lip. You feeling better? he asked.

he looked up at Inu Yasha and smiled, his cat ears pricking up. Inu Yasha ruffled his hair, knocking his ears from side to side.

Okay, go to sleep now, I have to wake up early tomorrow. We're running out of clean plates. he said, grumbling the last part. He lay back down on his bed kicking the sheets up so they fell on both of them. Night Shippou.

A comfortable silence befell them before Shippou whispered to a half-asleep Inu Yasha. If I die someday, I want to be reincarnated as your son, your real son. He paused and smiled before curling up closer to Inu Yasha's slender warm chest. Good night Daddy.What was that? he mumbled, wearily opening his eyelids half way.

Poof! 

**_Author's Notes_**

So, any of you surprised? A lot of you thought that it would be an abuse scene or a part where Inu FINALLY kills his dad. But no. In fact, his dad doesn't even make an actual appearence in this chapter. Al he does is step on something or stub his toe! Haha! laughs And he makes this grunty-snort-moan of pain. Well, at least he gets hurt a little, even if it wasn't even Inu yasha who did it. shrugs I tricked you!

I.

I just had to put this chapter in here. A little Inu/Shippou cuddliness is nice. This is just a little part to show the feelings between the two of them. Shippou kind of looks up to him and admires him Inu Yasha. And Inu Yasha kind of thinks of Shippou as a son. I think it is quite cute. But also ironic as Inu Yasha, having to deal with the influence of his father and all, actually is quite offended and scared by anything male. And being a father figure is the last thing he would want. Though it does help to clear his jaded image of men. (Sure, shippou's just a kid but whatever. You get the picture.)

Smell.

I have finally decided on an ending for this story! I know exactly what it will be like. You guys are gonna HATE me. But you'll also love me. The ending is happy and warm, but sad and cold too. Eheh, you just have to read to find out. **:P**

Foreshadowing.

Subtle? Aren't I?  
  
**News**

I plan on making a quiz on quizzila._ '**Which AFILAW Character are You?'** _It'll be cool!

If you havent checked out the fanart from last chapter, do so now! (Thanks again Picken!) Someday I'll draw my OWN fanart.

I might update sooner now because I really want to start my next story! (Check out bio for details.)

I have e mail now. Its: **_Yashayasha90 _** (Take away spaces.) I love email. :wink wink wink:

Thanks for 500 reviews! I love you guys!

**_Review Responses_**

Snow Lepord- I love your pen name. Snow leopards kick ass. :smile: I have a stuffed one. Thanks for reviewing!

**Blueunknown-** Man! You drew me a picture:squeals: OHMYGOD! I LUUURVE YOU! I am so happy! Post it and tell me the link so I can see it and put da link on my story:MEGA glomp:

**Suaru-** Shit, I'm so sorry about that. I know what it feels like since one of my best friends in the world is (Or was) suicidal and depressed. I guess its one of those things you think wont happen to people near you, and when it does, you feel all surprised (AKA, Completely and totally terrified.) and whatnot. Though I'm glad they didn't succeed. I hope they feel better soon and that you feel better as well. :hug: 

It's times like these, when you realize just how mortal you are, that you really come to think of the value of life. My cousin died in a car accident a year ago when she was 16, so I live every day like it could be my last. You just don't see things the same way after someone close to you comes that close to death, and like that too. Shit. I hope they get help and find a way to be happy living, and that you can feel better as well.  
**  
Keyo-Red Angel of Hope- **:smiles: I love when people say things like that. One guy told me that he re reads the happy parts of my story when he is sad and that the really gruesome parts make him cry. (Almost. He's a guy, and as a race, they think it is effeminite to cry. :sighs: If only they knew. u.u) When my story strikes emotion in people it makes me feel quite proud of it, because that means that they are probably relating to the characters. Its a good thing. :smiles: And thanks for reviewing. You've been reading this story for quite a while, I think, so thanks for sticking it out the whole time. :smile:  
**  
PD and KGIM- ** The queen of writing? I am blushing very hard right now, by the way. And yea, Inu Yasha really has changed, but most of that is due to Kagome, I suppose. At the beggining he was very scared and very unconfidant. 

**InuYasha Master-** :looks around nervously: I made a mistake! WAAH! I know I screwed up with the ages! And I'm sorry! But I hadn't thought of that when I started this fic. They share only a homeroom class all together because Miroku, despite his absent minded behavior is actually quite smart. In English at least. (Their first per. is English with Ms. Kikyo.) But the thing is, Miroku is around like, 13 ish and really close to fourteen whereas Inu Yasha is 15 and almost sixteen. (m gonna put his birthday in there, somewhere.) Sango is fourteen ans Kagome is fifteen. 

Sango and Miroku ARE young, I know, but that's the thing. I mean, sure, Inu Yasha is two years older than Miroku about, but he is still a child. I guess I put them there to stress that point. Sorry about that though. But I really didn't want them to all be the same age. I guess I thought it would be boring. :shrug: whatever, don't work yourself over it too bad.

Just had a chai latte, I am happy. Please review! Luv ya all!


	18. Shards

****

Quick Author Blurb-

First of all, if you check my bio, you will see that there is a brief description of the story I am going to write after this one is finished. I advise you to at least check it out. It may seem cliche or overdone, which I guess it is, but the way it is written and the spice I add to it make me feel it is quite original.  
**  
**Okay, I really didn't think I would NEED to mention this, but this story is AU and OOC. I almost never do in character stories. Ever. I only have one non AU fic up and that one is highly OOC. So for those of you who asked why the characters aren't the way they were the way the were in the manga or anime, that is because they aren't _supposed_ to resemble those characters. In a way, yes, I do take themes from the story; the names and dog ears and appearances and whatnot; But other than that, the characters' personalities are really my own. :smiles: But I can't have their bodies! DAMN! Or those adorable dog ears.)**  
**

**Chapter Eighteen**

**Shards**

He scrubbed hard at the smudges of old food on the shiny white porcelain plates. Though, he did leave some of the harder stains alone, realizing that, after a while, his father had stopped really checking to see if he had cleaned them well enough. Or up to what a demon shit like you should do', quoth the man.

Inu Yasha noticed that the man, as well as holding a great distaste for him, also held a furious hatred for demons in general. A segment on television he had seen from the kitchen while making dinner was on and the man watched it. It was a rather sweet story, one that almost turned Inu Yasha to happy tears. Someone had stuck a whole litter of young cat demons, hardly old enough to walk, inside a pipe of some sort and they had to call in fire fighters and the works to rescue them. They looked very much the way Shippou did when he first found him. Inu Yasha also realized then that he held a great affection for animals, though cats in particular.

Now, the man on the couch was not facing him, so he couldn't see his face, but when he served him his food, he was surprised to see the bitter hatred that simmered in his expression. His eyes were narrowed to slits and his lips were curled in disgust, like seeing those small demons being rescued had completely ruined the man's day. It, of course, had occurred to Inu Yasha that this might be the way that the man's face always looked. Bitter and angry and ugly. He, once again, was very faithful he took after his mom so much. His mom was much prettier than his father. But he didn't really remember what his father looked like when he was younger.

Sighing, he placed the last clean dish in the counter, neatly aligning it with the others. The way he sunlight hit the white dishes and reflected the pink light made the room look lighter and almost pretty. But he knew that once the lights came on, it would be ugly again. He briefly wondered what it would be like if he were blind. If he couldn't see things in his house, would they still hurt him as much? Would they still be as horrible?

He closed his eyes and put his arms in front of him. At first it was exciting, and a bit fun. Unfortunately, even his _house_ wished harm on him, seeing as a minute later, he stubbed his toe. Hissing softly, he stumbled around the floor with his foot in one hand, clenching the damaged toe tightly in his grip.

In his bedroom he threw on a pair of jeans that were cleaner than the pants he had on. Silently, he was thankful that the frayed' look was in, because these pants were far from new. The were a little tight on him, but with his slim brittle body he could wear them without trouble. He threw on a black jacket that had the letters EFI' on them. He didn't know what the letters meant, but he didn't care. It looked fine enough. 

Since his mirror lay on his bathroom floor in five hundred little shards, and there was no hope of fixing it, he picked a big piece up and examined his face in the mirror. For the first time, he looked into a mirror and smiled. He actually _liked_ the way the person looking back at him looked. For the first time he saw a different side of himself. A lighter, happier more beautiful side. 

He felt like a character in a book. In the beginning the, hero or heroine is faced with problems. Most of the times, they struggle, and they fight to get to where they want to be, and they usually succeed. Then they have the sidekicks, which would be Shippou and Kagome, and the group of friends at school, Sango and Miroku. Everyone had a role. Then, there is the less liked character, the antagonist. He knew damn well who that was. But the thing was, he hadn't defeated him yet. In stories, after the characters defeat the bad guy, it's over, but that was it. He _couldn't_ defeat his father. He couldn't kill him. He couldn't run away. He couldn't keep living like he was either though. He was stuck; most definitely and positively stuck.

He knew that in a couple of years, he would no longer be under the ruling of the law, but there were so many things to worry about after that. How would he go places without a car? How could he afford college? How could he just plain afford groceries? There were so many troubles that life brought even after he got out of the trouble he was in now.

It seemed that life is one big worry after another. First, it's one thing, and after you finally pull yourself out of what's troubling you, you have to face a whole new deck of problems. Of course, as an adult, his father would not be an issue, but still, that in itself was an issue. He knew he was deprived of things normal boys have. Good childhood memories. Memories of family time and smiles and photo album. Of cookie dough and messy kitchens, of baseball games and swimming pools. Anything that was even close to normal. But he had none of these. His life was weird, by all ruling, he lived differently than just about ninety nine point nine percent of the population. Probably more.

When he looked into the mirror, he saw so any different things. With every angle he tilted it, he saw a different piece of himself. With the mirror facing his chin, he saw the awkward dimple he had under his chin where he split it on a fall. His father had shoved him. With another adjustment, he could see the tender flesh where his father had hit him not to long ago. It took on a purple-red hue. He looked into his eye in the mirror. Dimly glowing amber spheres. Eyes that have seen their share of suffering, seen their share of pain. Eyes that look for sunshine. 

He tilted it down. He saw his waist; the thin under fed hole of a stomach. He saw his chest; a place where, without clothing, small ribs were visible. He saw his legs, long and slender.

He looked at his hands. Brittle, soft, pale hands; long and bony fingers that came to a point at the end where his talons grew. Hands that Kagome touched and comforted. Clean and lovely hands. Beautiful, flawless, hands.

All of him, good and bad, came together to make one Inu Yasha. To make one body, one person. He liked what he saw.

And he lifted the glass up to his mouth to see his saving grace; his smile.

He dashed down the road that led to his school, heavy backpack flapping behind him with off beat thuds. He hummed a random JPop song to the beat of his gait, because with every foot that landed he let out a small huff of air. Eyeing the approaching woods that distanced him from his school, his carefree smile turned ambitious and he tightened the straps of his backpack and soared over the tree tops.

When at school, he assumed his normal position at the tree on the soccer field. As he looked out, he could see a couple girls running laps. The were probably on the team. He sighed and opened his drawing pad and began to doodle aimlessly. A pair of eyes locked on him from under the tree, and Inu Yasha, drawing away, did not notice the, until the girl cried out, Inu Yasha! He lifted his head quickly in response and looked around for the voice. His ears flickered down and his head followed.

Hi Kagome! he called to her flicking a wrist in her direction.

Come down! she told him.

he asked in a high pitched and slightly whiny tone that resembled an uncooperative three year old.

Because I have to get up early every morning to come see you, so you come down when I say so! she said lightly.

Being forceful today, eh Kagome? he said, putting his book into his bag, and imagining Kagome in a uniform with her hand to er forehead in a solute, looking very serious. The image made him snort a small laugh

Hm, I suppose. I wasn't really supposed to sound rude when I said that though. she said and held a finger to her chin, tapping it twice.

I didn't mean you sounded rude, but you just don't usually yell, so I was just- he erupted, in a frantic tone.

I get it, I get it, Inu Yasha. she said with a tender laugh, Just calm down! she told him with a smile and patted his head inbetween his ears. His face calmed and his once wide eyes closed half way with the touch. She chuckled once again and sat by the trunk of the tree, fixing the pleats in her knee length skirt before she sat down. You're very over reactive, you know? she said softly, while setting her backpack beside her.

I am? he asked. Truth be told, Inu Yasha did not consider himself over reactive at all. In fact, not a lot phased him. He had seen it all, he thought. The thing was though, whenever Kagome seemed to take offense to something, anything at all, he would worry just a little that she would dislike him for it, and apologized, or tried to clear things up.

she chirped.

I'm sorry. he said, arching his eyebrows towards the middle, looking just a bit ashamed.

No, it's cute. she said, waving it off.

_Cute?' _he thought. That sounded like a compliment! And from Kagome, which made it feel better. Then again, everything seemed better when it was with Kagome. Compliments, food, everything! Time even went faster. He didn't test this, but he was quite sure that time did not pass at a normal rate when he was with her. It was like someone pressed the fast forward button on someone universal control. This, of course, was unfortunate. His cheeks glazed over with a familiar pink color as he stared dumbly at the ground. No one ever complimented him much, but when they did, he took it to heart. He heard a giggle and looked up to see her looking way to face the soccer field.

When at last the first period bell had rung, Inu Yasha and Kagome made their trek to English with Ms Kikyo. She was a friendly teacher and to, as she said, _build a bond with the students'_, she let them use her first name. Inu Yasha sat in his usual desk, a seat away from the other students. He was bridged to them only by Kagome who would look over at him and smile sweetly on occasion. He loved when she did that. 

Two hands slammed down on Inu Yasha's desk. Inu Yasha! came a girl's voice demandingly. Guess where you're going after school today!

He looked up at Sango, and half amused, half startled, and he replied Um ... I dunno. he said dumbly.

She smiled and rolled her eyes. she said, stressing the word. You and me, Kagome, and Miroku are going out for pizza because its his birthday!Miroku's birthday? he asked, not quite catching whose birthday it was in the jumble of names.

He's the only other _he _ I mentioned isn't he? Unless it's _your_ birthday. she said and giggled. His cheeks turned a deco pink and he waved his hand.

he muttered.

It's okies Inu Yasha. So, you coming? she asked.

Um ... he hummed. On one hand, he couldn't remember the last time he had pizza. Every once in a while his father would order it, but he would often eat most of it and then throw it away. He had tried grabbing a clean looking piece out of the trash can in the house, but it wasn't that great and it made him feel sick that night. He would have fun surely, and he would be able to be with Kagome, Sango, and Miroku. But, unlike when it was the weekend, and his father was never home, if he was too late coming home on schooldays, he could expect a beating. Hell, he could expect a beating anyways, so to hell with it, he figured. he chirped. I'll come!

Sango jumped in the air an inch or two and clapped her hands twice. Great! I'll go tell Kagome and Miroku you're com-Attention class! Kikyo stood at the front of the class and caught the children's' attention. They soon stopped talking and dispersed to their correct seats. Sango looked around, startled, before she gave a quick wave and a smile to Inu Yasha. Kikyo smiled before beginning the lesson.

At lunch, Inu Yasha sat at his table with Miroku, Sango, and Kagome. Sango and Kagome talked and giggled, obviously very excited about eating pizza with everyone after school. Inu Yasha figured eating wouldn't take so long and he usually didn't get home until around four thirty to five. So he supposed he was safe, he would just have to watch how much time he spent with them.

Inu Yasha! Want some tofu? asked Kagome, handing him a piece of soy sauce covered tofu, impaled by a chop stick. He plucked it off with his claws and popped it into his mouth.

he said as he swallowed it.

You can have the rest. she said and pushed the container towards him.

Thank you. he said grabbing it and smiling shyly.

Why do ya always give your lunch to him? asked Sango.

Cause ... Um, I'm usually not that hungry during the day. My mom makes huge dinners. As you um, might have noticed Inu Yasha. she said as she tapped her chopsticks on the table like she was playing a drum.

As Inu Yasha may have noticed? asked Sango suspiciously.

He came over for dinner once a couple weeks ago. she told Sango.

she said and nodded. So, can anyone else here not stand Ms. Vacco, or is it just me? she asked and leaned forward, greeting the tables nods.

That cow. she heard Miroku say across the table. I hate projects. he scoffed.

Well, you're working with me. she said and smiled. He grinned and blushed as he took a swig of his milk. Miroku and Sango started playing footsies half way through lunch and Inu Yasha and Kagome just sat and watched as Sango and Miroku flirted with each other quite shamelessly.

**_Authors Notes_**

(Just a tad emotionlessly.) Hey ... Um, I am really sorry this chapter is short. I feel bad about it. Wait, correction, I actually kind of just feel bad. My dad totally blasted me a day or two ago. He accused me of backstabbing him and gossiping about him. But he wouldn't tell me what I said that was so bad. And he wont talk to me and he's avoiding me. He yelled at me and went to bed. And I just kind of sat on my tree swing and leaked. (I didn't really cry, but my eyes were all drippy and tearing. You know?)

And although I usually take out all my frustration on my writing, I feel really um ... empty and tired and drained. You know that feeling when it seems like someone just sucked all your life through a straw or something. Yeah, I am having one of those weeks. And I failed an English essay. (Got a forty one percent)

He just doesn't get it. Like everything is about ME doing these awful terrible things to him. I mean, if I ever said anything about him that wasn't good it would be because he did something that hurt me and made me angry. But he just ... :sigh: It's hopeless:

Im kind of worried about myself though. But I've been feeling really weird and detached and um ... just not there. And I haven't really been eating anything lately. And I am getting these really weird nervous shivers randomly. I'll just be sitting there and all of a sudden I just pull into a ball and start shaking and crying almost. And in math today I couldn't read the overhead because my eyes were all full of tears. The last time I felt this bad was back in chapter seven or something when he told me he and his girlfriend were getting married. Though I admit that was a tad bit worse. I hardly ate anything for three days. I lost like five pounds, which was kind of cool. All my grades dropped a letter and I got sick a whole lot of times. (I NEVER get sick.)

So what I am getting to is, well, would you guys try and say nice stuff to me and cheer me up a bit? I think that would help. :nods: If my reviewers can't cheer me up then I don't know who can! (hugs everyone) I'm feeling quite icky right now, but I'll get over it. He'll start smiling like the idiot he acts like once his fiancee and her children come over. (I've actually never seen him frown when they are around. They're like the lights of his whole fucking life I swear.)

But just know I am a very happy (Usually) and upbeat person. One guy told me that I was so peppy that he was actually kind of scared. (He said it was oddly refreshing though.) I really cant stay sad for long. The biggest optimist you'll ever meet. I think its going to be harder because I have to live with my father half the time though. Its like this constant reminder of everything that makes me feel really BAD. Like I'm actually the piece of gossiping shit he apparently thinks I am. Crap! You know I swore that I wouldn't let people control my self image. I guess I never really considered the fact that it might be my own dad who would make me feel like that.

Well, um if you wouldn't mind going a little bit easy on me if you have a problem with my story or something that would help. (widdle smile)

Loves to all of you! Thanks for hearing me out. Helps to know someone out there is listening when you rant. (Even if it totally annoys the crap out of the person listening.)

-Inu Kun-


	19. Sorry

Hey guys, I am so sorry but this is not an update.

I shall explain why here.

See, you know how I mentioned last chapter that my dad thinks I am a backstabbing two faced gossip? Well I am being grounded because I talked to my mom about him because it hurts to keep everything inside of me like that and he says the only person i can talk to about him is my psycologist. And sure, he is a nice guy, but talking to my psycolologist does not make me feel good like talking to my mommy does because I love my mommy and I dont love my shrink.

So I was grounded and I could not write or go on the computer at his house, and I could not transfer what litte I had written for chapter 19 to my moms house and I could only read and do homework. So I am soo sorry **_BUT _**

**_GOOD NEWS! READ HERE!_**

I have started a short story for you all and I have posted it and it is called Fingertips. In it, it describes Kagome's feelings and whatnot because she is working with Inu Yasha. He goes to the 'special needs' school near hers and she is partnered with him for a class she is taking. It seems clilche and overdone but BELIEVE ME it is soo not like all the other stories involving mentally challenged people. Because in my story, Inu Yasha is ACTUALLY mentally challenged. He is an autistic savant.

It is really good and I llike it so please check it out because that is the story I am posting to say sorry to you guy for not updating. And I popped onto the computer last night at ten o clock and write it because I felt bad for not giving you guys another update. It is really not that bad and I actually like that story, so if you would just check it out really quickly and review that would be awesome!

IM SO SORRY! I will try to finish up 19, but I have soo much home work I need to do and BLAH! Love you all! Please try to check out 'Fingertips'.

JA!

Inu Kun


	20. Good Times

Chapter Nineteen

Good Times

The rest of the school day lingered and swaggered along and Inu Yasha found himself growing impatient and tapping his foot against the floor rapidly. He received a few angry glares from people who were agitated by the noise, but none seemed to be disturbed enough by it to tell him to stop.

But, at last, school had come to an end and he gathered up his things in a hurry and leapt out of his last class like some startled deer and galloped across the school to the front gates where he would meet Kagome and the others.

Kagome came first. He waved as he saw her trim outline, clad in white and green, appear out of a hallway. "Hi!" he called to her. She turned her head towards him and he saw her flash her white teeth in smile and she trotted briskly across the distance between them to meet him.

"Inu Yasha!" she called as she neared him. She reached him and waved, flashing another of her sweet smiles. "I'm so excited, I can barely contain myself!" she said and she curled er hands into little fists and held them to her shaking them in excitement. He let loose a small laugh.

"My feet haven't stopped tapping since lunch." he said. Now, of course, he was very glad to be spending some time with his friends, but oh! -the idea of eating pizza! Fresh hot pizza! He couldn't even recall when he'd had it last. And they would be in a restaurant. Not a drive through window at a fast food place. Something about the whole thing made him immensely happy, and incredibly nervous.

What if he didn't act properly in the restaurant? What if the food was bad and took really long to order or what if the waiter got mad and decided to pee in the drinks? Well, it was highly unlikely that the waiter would pee in their drinks, but he had heard about things like that happening when listening to some parts of the news while making dinner. And even if the food wasn't great, he had eaten worse.

Sango and Miroku appeared together, holding hands of course, being the over affectionate couple they were. "Hi Kagome! Hi Inu Yasha!" called Sango friendly. Miroku waved shyly as Sango ran ahead of him and jump tackled Kagome in a very unique hug. Miroku couldn't help but find himself wondering '_How come she never does that to me?'_

Sango and Kagome chattered in squeals that Inu Yasha and Miroku could only assume were not in English. But the whole idea of the night ahead had them all very excited. They waited outside of the school building before Miroku's mother, a friendly brunette woman, picked them up in her Volkswagon. Miroku sat up front, and Kagome, Sango and Inu Yasha sat in the middle row of seats, jammed together like sardines. Inu Yasha leaned his head against the window, the rapidly beating heart inside of his chest exhilarating him. He felt all his senses come alive. Sight, smell, hearing, touch, everything he felt was a hundred times stronger. Hence, he squealed lightly when the car hit a hard turn and Kagome's head fell on his shoulder and did not remove itself for several seconds.

"You okay?" she asked apologetically.

"Oh!" he grinned. "Its nothing!" he said and waved. Contrary to what some would like to think, the squeal he made was more out of pain than surprise. His arm was still sore after having been dislocated and then repositioned by none other than himself. It was a bit swollen but his long sleeve red shirt would cover any bruising if any at all. He propped his head against his hand and stared out the window watching the row of planted trees go by him one by one.

He faintly felt his shirt sleeve being tugged and snapped out of his dream like state and turned to face Kagome. "Inu Yasha? Hellooo?" she said and waved a hand in front of his face.

He turned pink and ducked his head. "Eep!" he squeaked softly. "Sorry Kagome!" he said. "I was just kind of um ..."

"Out of it?" she asked, trying to fill in the gap in his sentence.

"Uh yeah. I didn't sleep well last night I guess." he said and shrugged, tossing a small smile her way.

"Well, we're at Miroku's house now, so you're going to have to get out of the car." she said. "And I wouldn't advise you keep drifting off like that or Miroku's mom will suspect you're on drugs or something." she said and giggled. Inu Yasha stifled a laugh. The idea was slightly amusing and Kagome meant it playfully, but remembering all the things he saw when he was younger, all the tragedy he had been through because of his father's habits, it almost made him insulted that anyone would even _suspect_ him of that. Kagome missed the wince he made before his throat rumbled with a small laugh.

"Come on." she said and climbed out of the Volkswagen. He followed her into Miroku's house.

Miroku's house was a normal looking abode. It had two bedrooms and bathrooms, a kitchen, and a living room. It was not very big, but it was definitely bigger than what Inu Yasha was used to. He looked around and wandered about for a bit as Miroku gave them a short lived tour through his home. Miroku's bedroom was not very exciting at all. The walls were a baby blue color and there hung a bulletin board on one of them, with a calendar, and random pictures of him with Sango and other friends of his. Numerous papers of his were scattered across the fridge, he noticed, and all had A's on them. He began to wonder if Miroku was an overachiever.

"Well. Um... It's not much, but, it's home." he said quietly. Sango gripped his hand and rocked back and forth, whistling cheerily. After a short silence, he broke in and suggested, "Want to go play on my XBox?" The others in the group nodded and followed him into his room.

A while later, Miroku was beating everybody's ass at StreetRacerz 2. Sango was in second, close behind Miroku, Kagome was thrid, and in dead last was Inu Yasha, losing miserably. This was understandable, of course, because he had never held a console controller in his life. He bit his lower lip and narrowed his eyes and squirmed in irritation as his car flew off of a jump and into a lake. He growled as his fourth of the screen went blank and then appeared again, showing his car at the last check point he had visited. His eye twitched in annoyance and he mumbled to himself, "God damnit ... I give up."

He fumbled around with the huge black controller until he decided to just give up, and placed it on the bed that he was sitting on next to Miroku. He sunk to the floor and sat inbetween Sango and Kagome, passing advice to them when he saw a bonus points icon, or a pit that the cars would fall into. Eventually, Miroku noticed that everyone had moved to the floor so he sat next to Sango who managed to distract him enough to let Kagome slip ahead of him and her car won the next game they played.

She made a happy girl sound and held up her hand and gave a high five to Inu Yasha who reluctantly slapped her hand, briefly wondering if she planned to remove it before he could hit it. But even if she planned on doing this, he realized that he could move faster than she could so she would not be able to do that. Then she leaned over and thanked Sango, who was sitting on Miroku's lap, nuzzling her head against his chest affectionately. Inu Yasha noticed the light pink blush that Miroku wore when Sango was around him return.

Then Miroku's father came into the room. His eyes followed Sango as she rolled off of Miroku's lap, jerking her head away so fast that Inu Yasha thought that it might have caused damage to her spinal cord. He made a small grunting noise which sounded like he was clearing his throat. "Well, it's time to go now, so you guys should all go into the car."

Everybody nodded and stood up except for Miroku, who asked his father which car they were taking. His father replied, "The van." and then he left the room. A few of the teens had taken off their shoes and put them back on before going to the garage and piling into the silver van. The van was bigger than the other car, Inu Yasha noted. This one had three rows of seats which were covered in the fuzzy gray material he recognized as the same as the material in the car his mother had. Miroku made a leap for the front seat but was pulled back by Sango and he muttered his apologies before getting in the mid row with her.

Inu Yasha did not know Miroku's mother and therefore did not feel comfortable sitting next to her so that left the back row which had a longer row of seats than the mid row because the mid row had to allow the people going to the back row room to get there. He sat on the edge farthest away from the sliding van door and watched as Kagome came in. As she climbed up, he worried that maybe she would not sit with him and watched her more intently than before, before patting the seat next to him and smiling. She looked up and her eyes widened as she plopped down next to him and sent him a grin.

He tingled with a warm prickly sensation that he had gotten used to since he had become friends with Kagome. It was like he was being poked with hundreds and hundreds of little pins, but the pins did not hurt, and the did not feel bad. He actually somewhat enjoyed it. But the thought of the little pins scared him just a little, so he stopped relating it to that.

Before he knew it, the car was in motion and his body shook as they hit a speed bump near Miroku's house. When they reached the restaurant, Kagome's head was comfortably suited on Inu Yasha's shoulder which was tilted because he was leaning over to see out the window and blushing a nice shade of pink.

They tumbled out of the car, and Inu Yasha took Kagome's hand and helped her out before turning to face the restaurant. The restaurant was called 'Factory Pizza' and a strong smell of garlic and cheese wafted from the building and Inu Yasha felt saliva accumulate in his mouth. He swallowed and turned to Kagome, his face alit with hunger. Aside from the occasional midnight snack he could smuggle and his father's little gifts of food, he had no stable food supply.

He found out that Kagome had been packing extra food for him for his lunch and he felt bad because he did not want to burden her. But he did not tell her not to give him food because without her meals, he would probably not have been able to survive through the year. His torso had begun to thicken a little bit over the course of the few months he had sent in the ninth grade and he could only see his ribs when he leant over backwards.

The teens trotted over to the restaurant, with Miroku's mother is pursuit. When they entered, they were seated by a pretty looking red headed waitress. "Right this way." she told them, scooping up a few menus. They sat at a round table and Inu Yasha was seated next to Kagome and Miroku, who sat next to Sango, who was next to Miroku's mother.

He flipped through the menu and looked at all the names of food. A lot of them made no sense. He leaned over to Kagome and whispered "What's an anti-pasta?" She giggled and turned to him and told him it was a meat dish. He nodded.

When the red head came back, she asked, "What drinks would you like?"

Inu Yasha's eyes widened. "We get to choose?" He sounded shocked. A few giggles erupted from the circle of people at the table and Kagome failed miserably at trying to suppress her laughter. "What?" he asked and looked around.

The waitress cocked her head to the side and raised an eyebrow. "Get to choose? This wouldn't be a very good place to eat if you couldn't." she said and made a small laughing noise.

Inu Yasha nodded and smiled, but then he realized he didnt know what to choose to drink so he picked a random soda. "Sprite." he said.

The other's placed their orders for drinks. They had unanimously decided on getting pizza and garlic bread with a side order of bruschetta. Inu Yasha asked what that was as well and Kagome told him it was like bread with tomatoes and spices and you dip it in balsamic vinegar and it is very good.

As the group waited for the food they made light chatter. Inu Yasha noticed that Miroku's mother kept a close eye on Sango. Sango's style of dress may have led her to believe that this girl was perhaps not so wonderful for her son? And if not that, Inu Yasha wondered if Miroku had told his parents at all. So he leaned over to him and whispered so quietly that Miroku had to ask him to raise his voice. So he repeated. "Um … does your mom know about .. Sango? You know?" And Miroku looked puzzled for a moment before replying.

"I don't think she's ready to here that. I'm not allowed to date until I get to high school." Inu Yasha nodded and his silver hair flipped around him as he did so and Kagome giggled.

"Inu Yasha. Pt. You hair got in my mouth!" She rubbed her mouth and the teenagers laughed. Even Miroku's mom giggled a little bit.

The conversation was light, the mood was happy and the aroma of the restaurant was intoxicating. Inu Yasha took a sip of his soda when it came and was surprised at how good soda tasted. He hadn't been able to drink anything other than water for a long time. Once, when he was younger, his father actually took him to a carnival. At the time, he thought it was for his sake, but as an older more wise fifteen year old. He knew that this was only because the man wanted to go there himself, and didn't want Inu Yasha to do anything bad while he was away. He had purchased a coke and shared some with the boy, to the child's delight, and just now was he reminded of that time.

At last, the food arrived. A giant pedestal with a pizza on it arrived and Inu Yasha's jaw dropped noticeably. He waited until everyone else grabbed a slice before looking around in a confused manner. "Inu Yasha?" asked Kagome. "Aren't you going to eat some?" He looked at her then turned to the giant pizza and pulled a slice out. His eyes glazed over as the cheese oozed and the aroma filled his nose. It was so intensely intoxicating that he looked like he was somewhat asleep as he took his first bite. Never in his life had he had better pizza. Or perhaps he had never had pizza at all in his life. Either way, this was good. He devoured his first piece, then ate another. Then he ate bruschetta, which was very good, like Kagome had said, and a piece of garlic bread which was zesty and made his mouth water.

He ended up getting two refills on his drink, and did not finish the second refill. His stomach was so full, he doubted that he would be able to eat for days because for one, he was so stuffed that he wouldn't _need_ any food, and for another, any other food was garbage compared to this. Well, this was with the exception of Kagome's mother's cooking. That was definitely at least ten times better, but still. He couldn't even remember the last time he had eaten something that wasn't three days old and sitting in a forgotten cabinet of his fridge.

It was over way too fast, it seemed, because the next thing he knew, he was leaving the restaurant and waving good bye to the red headed waitress. He sat in the back seat of the car again with Kagome while Miroku and Sango sat in the middle, holding hands underneath Miroku's jacket.

Kagome looked tired and she made sleepy eyes at Inu Yasha, who offered her his lap. Her head rested on his thin legs and he delicately put his hand on her head and smoothed her hair out. Not that it really needed to be smoothed, but he liked touching her soft hair and skin. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was light. He smiled gently down at Kagome and his eyes were soft, like that of a mother looking at a newborn, or a kitten. He listened harder and could pick up the faint 'bump' of her heartbeat. Its rhythm soothed him and he sighed. So absorbed in her was he, that he did not even notice Sango and Miroku occasionally peak around and chuckle lightly at him. Sango made an 'Aw!' sound which he missed and Miroku made a soft laughing sound which he muffled with his hand.

Inu Yasha opened his eyes and gave Kagome one last stroke of the head before peering out the window.

The sky was dark and grey. The contrast of the light horizon and the dark black and blue sky could only strike terror in his heart, not the intended awe that the natural beauty was supposed to produce. He held his breath in his chest as he realized that it was already way past six o clock.

He knew who would be waiting for him when he came home. His father. He knew what would be waiting for him when he came home. A beating.

'Shit.'

For lack of a better metaphor, he was dead meat.

__

**Author's Notes**

**First off: **(Hugs reviewers and gives mega slurpees to all) And if you haven't checked it out, I suggest Fingertips! It has gotten a lot of really good responses and I will be updating every week, so no worries there! And its short, and a good read if ya have nothing better to do! Please check it out for me:smiles all big like:

Oh nuu! I guess I better prepare myself for another hurting scene. Abuse comin' up my darlings! Whee!

Well, sequentially, after getting un grounded, I was grounded again, but I am at my mom's house now so HAH! And I finally have time to finish this chapter up. It's late, I know, but at least its long! … Hmm … Maybe … _too_ long? Nyeh.

Well, I have to thank you guys for your reviews. Made me down right chipper, they did. I was so happy you guys cared enough bout me cheer me up so nicely! Specially Picken and Irish Leprechaun! Thank you guys so much, you have no idea how much it means to me.

I am glad to say, I am feeling much better now. With the help of some friends of mine and your reviews I am a much happier Inu Kun! So thanks a lot! I had a lot more people review me last chapter than the ones before, which was cool, but I don't want the only way for me to get reviews to be by feeling shit. (I joked with my friend, "Hey, maybe I should be depressed more often?") So please review every chapter! I know it can be annoying, but I want to know how many people are reading the story, because if a lot of people are, that motivates me to update quicker. But thank you for all the support guys! Loves ya!

**Inu Kun- _Please review:pouts:_**

**Inu Yasha'sFan1234: **This is your first fic you've read? Wow, I feel special! Hope you enjoy it! (coughsandreviewcoughs) Lol.

**Suaru:** Hey, and thanks for reviewin' me! I hope everything turns out all right for you and Sara, she seems cool. It's real weird that you were giving her my story when she was going through an abusive situation herself huh? I wonder if she relates to it at all? Mebbe not … After all, she is lacking in the male genitalia, unlike little Inu Yasha here … Um, irrelevant. But I am glad you guys like it!

**Irish Leprechaun: **You're reviews are so great! It really cheered me up a lot to read it! And the one on Fingertips was really nice too! So, um, thanks a lot! I hope you read the next chapter cause I sent your cuz a message! And, yea, I know the story is fine and all, but it just kind of downs the inspiration level when my own father does not like my stuff. It's nothing, I guess, just kind of makes me not like my story. But you really cheered me up so thank you! (glomp)


	21. It's Okay

**_All's Fair in Love and War_**

**Chapter Twenty**

It's Okay  


The car ride home was too short, he thought.

And aside from the delight of being able to play with Kagome's soft black hair, and the thrill of accidentally' touching her cheek once or twice, the ride was extremely painful. His heart beat rose above what he thought normal and he counted the beats in his head to calm himself,

_One, two, three, four ...   
_  
His fingers lay somewhere on Kagome's love handle. He had placed his hand there in deep worry, not aware of highly un-gentleman like behavior. She squirmed and rolled on her back so she was looking up at his chin. He faced her. Hee, that tickles! she giggled. His fingers had been squeezing her sides. He gasped as he realized what he had been doing.

Oh my- Im so sorry Kagome I- Oh no, I really didn't mean to- Kagome watched in good humor and he sputtered out random sentence bits that made no sense.

It's okay, I understand! she said, waving her hands. This was a lie of course; she had no idea what he was saying.

He took in a deep breath and wanted to put his hand to his chest in hopes of feeling his rapid heartbeats but not now, Kagome was watching. Now was a time to be happy.

_Don't worry, don't worry'._

By the time they had reached Miroku's house, Inu Yasha was recovering from a small panic attack. He tried to focus only on his breathing, but that was fast and short, and came in quick staccato intervals. Kagome sensed tension building in her friend and she put her hand on his shoulder. The touch alone soothed him more than her offer of help. She cooed, Inu Yasha? Are you okay? You look tense. He smiled half heartedly, out of politeness and said he was fine.

Upon hearing this, and to Miroku's mother's general dislike, Sango jokingly offered him a full body massage. (Which he refused with a scarlet face of course.) Miroku leaned over to her and whispered in a raspy voice, That sounds nice. She giggled and punched his arm in the soft way girls punch guys' arms.

Sango was gone. Her mother had picked her up and she gave Inu Yasha and Kagome quick good bye hugs, and she gave Miroku a long goodbye hugs which his parents noted. They were suspicious.

Inu Yasha could not walk home. He could run far distances, but he did not know how to get home from where he was. He wanted to ask Kagome, but he didn't want to be rude. Then, he realized that since walking was not and option, if he did not get aa ride from Kagome, he would be riding with Miroku's parents. He asked Kagome.

Kagome smiled as he asked for a ride and brought out a cell phone. She dialed the number. After a series of uh huh's' and yeah, Inu Yasha, he needs a ride's she turned to him and grinned. We can give you a ride if you can supply my mom with directions. she said finally. Inu Yasha bubbled with joy. She'll be here in five minutes. Kagome said.

The five minutes boiled away and before he knew it he as climbing into Kagome's mother's car. They both sat in the back seat together and Kagome started to talk about how fun the dinner was. Inu Yasha stayed silent. He bit his lower lip and stared at the line of trees that flashed before his eyes. He could feel his pulse. After Kagome finished talking about pizza she turned to the nervous Inu Yasha.

He looked at her and made a painfully fake smile and Kagome recognized his face. She frowned and her eyebrows arched together. She must have noted his anxiety for she inched closer to him and her fingers slipped into his hand. He felt a wave of relief wash over him as she held his hand. He was still nervous of course but all he could think was,_ As long as get to hold this hand again, as long as she is still here, everything will be okay. Everything will be okay.'_

She smiled at him but he wasn't looking. He was a little pink. He was tense, she noted, and it was not too hard to see. His brow was furrowed and his lower lip was being gnawed on mercilessly. She saw him shake once or twice and couldn't help but wonder, _What's wrong?' _He was a little nervous all the time; It was his nature. But not like this, he had the face of a man with a rope around his neck, standing on a bucket, knowing that in a few seconds the bucket would be kicked away. She leaned over to him and cupped her hands around his soft ear and whispered. It's okay. He smiled and blushed then gave her a smile as if to thank her for the encouragement.

But he knew her words were of no use when he got home. He wanted to ask the time, but he knew that he if he found out what time it was it would trouble him more. So he didn't ask.

He gulped and looked over to Kagome sitting next to him. She was so gentle looking as she looked out the window. Her eyes glimmered with the fading pinkness of the sky and she looked like she was dreaming. Her eyes were half lidded and her lips were slightly parted. She looked like she was dreaming while awake. His only reminder of her conscientiousness was her hand softly squeezing his own. He sighed, feeling calmed by her own tranquil state.

Her hand in his.

_As long as I get to hold this hand again ...'_

Her soft eyes.

_As long as she is still here ...'_

The twinkling pink sky.__

Everything will be okay'.'

Everything will be okay.'

As Inu Yasha asked, Kagome's mother brought him to the school yard. He didn't want her or Kagome anywhere near his house. He was ashamed of the wreck he lived in, he admitted it. His house was a crumbling cardboard box compared to the beauty nd wonder of Kagome's temple. Even Miroku's house was a luxury compared to his house. But the real reason he didn't want them near was the possibility of his father being drunk. If he hurt Kagome or her mother ... He would never forgive himself for that.

The car pulled up to the school lot and came to a stop. Inu Yasha took one breath in and heaved himself and his backpack out of the car. He shut his door and waited for the car to leave. It didn't. Instead, Kagome opened the door on the opposite side and ran up to him, she looked up at him hesitantly and then wrapped her arms around his waist. Her arms slid around his waist as easily and quietly as her fingers slipped into his hand. He shyly raised his bony arms around her back and hesitantly cast a nervous glance toward the car. If Kagome's mother was watching he would die from embarrassment, and be spared the alternative. She was putting on lipstick in a mirror. He sighed.

She pulled back and looked at him worriedly. Are you okay Inu Yasha? Because if something is bothering you, you can tell me. I'm worried. Yes, she was worried. Her face was terribly bothered looking. For a moment, he actually considered telling her everything. He knew he wanted to. He wanted to spill his heart out to her and let her know everything. He wanted to break down in tears and ask her to save him, but he didn't. He couldn't. Not here, not now. So he leaned towards her and whispered into her ear the same words she had told him.

It's okay.

This did not seem to help her, though her face did relax a little. You sure? You look like your about to be sick or something.Pinky promise. he said, using the old childish tradition as he lifted his hand into the air and extended his pinky finger. She made a small giggle and grabbed it with her own. Must be the pizza or something. he said and made a small chuckle at his comment. She laughed quietly and then looked at him and grinned.

See you tomorrow! she said and ran towards her car, her pinky finger sliding across his hand as she walked farther away from him.

He watched Kagome's car pull away. Then he faced homeward. This would be a long walk. He bound through the trees and his heart beat faster and faster with every leap. The tension was building.

He envisioned his father, angry and drunk, waiting for him when he got home, standing near the door with a baseball bat or a knife, with red drooping eyes and an angry scowl on his face. He shuddered. A long walk indeed.

The door creaked as he opened it slowly, in a way that is only shown in horror movies, he thought. He poked his nose through and sniffed, trying to sense the scent of alcohol. He couldn't smell anything. Nor could he smell drugs. Of course he couldn't; it was Tuesday. He took a step inside. Then another. He could hear the television going and figured that the man was in there, drinking beer. His father was always mildly drunk. He was inside the house for only about three seconds when he picked something up; a scent with his nose. Old cigarettes and alcohol. He leapt as the arms wound around him.

He screamed, but it was cut off by a hand that was pushed sideways into his mouth. His stifled scream made it through the door, which was shut shortly after. He panicked. His arms flailed uselessly at his sides until they were clamped down by a muscular arm. His eyes widened in shock as he realized that it was his father grabbing him. He had hidden behind the door.

Thought you could just sneak in, didn't you? Thought you could run off without my permission and get away with it, huh? he snarled. You thought wrong you fucking- He stopped and growled in pain as Inu Yasha bit down on his father's hand. His fangs sunk in and when the man whipped his hand away, two bloody holes were in the man's palm. The man ignored this and shoved Inu Yasha with his lower arm. he roared.

With his lower arm he pinned Inu Yasha against the wall. The child's frail throat was being crushed by the thick muscular arm. He choked for air. Where were you? the man hissed.

Inu Yasha thought fast. He only had thirty seconds or so before he ran out of air and passed out cold. If he told the truth he might as well kiss tomorrow good bye, so he lied. Twenty three seconds left. I .. fell asleep. He choked the words out in a raspy tone. Inu Yasha managed to suck in a quick breath of air as the man pulled back just the tiniest bit and shoved his arm harder against the boys throat, against his chin so that the boy's head faced upwards.

You lie. the man hissed.

You're ... crazy. Inu Yasha choked.

Don't use that tone with me Inu Yasha! Don't think I don't know what the fuck you're up to. He hissed this in a way that made Inu Yasha nervous. Could it be the man knew what really happened? Did he know about Kagome? Impossible, how could he ... ?

I ... swear. Inu Yasha gasped.

The man glared at him for what seemed like forever. A small ten seconds is forever when you don't know when you're going to breath next. Finally he pulled his arm down and Inu Yasha's head fell down enough to face his father. The man looked a little smaller now. Had Inu Yasha grown? The man said.

Could that be it? The seemingly painless interrogation? Was that all the punishment he would receive?

Of course not.

Just when he thought it was over, the man threw a punch at the boy's stomach. Inu Yasha gasped as the air came out of him like a over inflated tire that suddenly gets a hole punched in it. His mouth was ajar and he keeled over, gasping, resembling a fish. Then Inu Yasha's father took a bottle with a liquid in it and squirted ammonia into the boy's open mouth.

He clutched at his throat and fell to the ground, kicking and wheezing. He felt like there was a giant bubble in his mouth that was keeping air from getting inside. He tried to gasp and he tried to breath, but he couldn't. He felt like he was going to die right there and then, but it wasn't the first time. He squirmed and his back curled like a fish when you pull it out of the water. He squealed in high tones that consisted mostly of whatever air there was left in him.

He felt light headed now. He didn't know how long he had been on the ground. It didn't matter. It could have been a day, a minute, a year, he just wanted it to be over. Finally, his father's foot made contact with the boy's back and he coughed coarsely. A glob of saliva, mucous and poison came out when he lay there gagging. He rolled over and spat. Then he felt dizzy. He wobbled to his feet and ran to the bathroom, bumping into two walls as he went.

He keeled over the toilet and threw up. The acidic taste burned his sensitive throat and he moaned as the contents of his stomach were poured into the bowl of the toilet.

So much for being so stuffed he wouldn't have to eat for days.

But seeing how painful it was to breath, being able to eat didn't look so good. He rested the side of his head on the rim of the bowl and sighed. Then his stomach flip flopped and his cheeks bulged as he bent over the bowl and threw up again. His tongue and throat burned and throbbed and he felt like he would pass out. Using a wad of toilet paper, he wiped his mouth and spat once more into the bowl.

He clambered to the bathroom sink and filled his mouth with fresh water and gurgled it before rinsing it out of his throat. That felt a little better, he supposed. He did it three more times before he drunk some of the water to satiate his horrible thirst he had acquired. Wiping his mouth with his sleeve, he stumbled into his bedroom and fell to his bed. Immediately Shippou as upon him, mewing and making crying sounds. He transformed and Inu Yasha saw the soft orange fur turn into smooth orange hair. The little kitten ran to the door and closed it softly before rushing to his companion's aid.

Inu Yasha? he asked. A tear ran down his cheek. Are- are you ... okay? he said and hiccuped small sobs inbetween some words. Inu Yasha turned to him and nodded his head slowly. He felt that if he nodded any faster, the world would never stop spinning. He couldn't speak well. Then he hissed,

It's okay. He saw Kagome in his mind. Her worried face danced across his thoughts. He saw her sitting next to him, sighing out of the window and her eyes glimmering like an ocean at sunset. He felt her wrap her arms around his waist and worry for him. He smiled dizzily.

_As long as I can see her again, as long as I can still hold her soft hands, everything will be okay._

Everything will be okay.'  


**_Author's Notes  
_**_  
(Okay, sadly, I forgot to print out Fingertips chapter three, so I won't be updating it for another week. :sob: But I will give you this instead! And if you haven't already checked out Fingertips ... :nudge nudge:)  
_  
**_Fanart:_**

(By Sleepwalking Chicken and HAP)

http / www . deviantart . com / deviation / 17389242 /

(Take out spaces)

AUGH! THE FLUFF! IT BUUURNS:Rubs eyes:

So ... cute! So damned sweet and tender! Eep! I can't believe I actually writ this. Where did all the love come from? Well, is really just Kagome being worried for her beloved little Inu Yasha. The poor thing. Ammonia is an awful thing to eat. And speaking of gruesomeness, one girl couldn't finish this fic. She had to put it down because she said it was so gruesome she couldn't finish it.

Well, it's not quite as happy as the last chapter, but I hope all you sadists out there are sadist-fied. (Get it? Like satisfied?) I had to write an abuse chapter. I believe the story was due for one. Yup yup. So hope you enjoyed!

**Review Responses**

theamazingd: Thank you! And I update usually every other week. This is an exception. But only because I missed a update because of being grounded.  
**  
PeppyGal:** Thank you! And I don't think he has a human night in this story. I might use it later, but as for now, I don't think there will be a human night. He is pretty frail right now anyhow. He has the endurance of a half breed, but since he is so weak, he is no stronger than a human.

**AnimeMaster168:** So much for lacking anxiety huh?

**Keru:** Yes. Some people die in this story. In fact, two of the most important main characters are already dead. Inu Yasha has a few near death experiences.

**billy'sgotagun: **Oh my god, I am so sorry I didn't reply to you last chapter, I was all side tracked because things were out of order that I forgot to!

1) I'm really glad you like my story, guy. I love it when people can relate to my characterss because that means that the characters are likable ones. (I hope.) And I am real glad you enjoy it so much, because that makes me feel happy to know that someone out there likes my stuff.

2) I understand what you're saying. However, I am the most tolerant and patient person you will meet in your entire LIFE. I don't mind anger, but I just find it ... pointless. I usually cry when something upsets me, instead of sending chairs through walls. I suppose you are morea of an angry person than I, and have used it in well ... self destructive ways.

So, advice from me would be, THINK before you act. You seem like you can be impulsive, and that can get you hurt a lot. But until you learn to use your anger in ways that don't hurt you, your going to be pretty fucking miserable. I suggest you cry until you're dehydrated. Works for me! (Yeah, I know everyone says that boys don't cry, but the truth is, only the stupid boys say stuff like that.) I heard a great quote somewhere that said something like.

**It takes power to hold back tears, but it takes a certain strength to cry when it's appropriate.  
**  
But I probably ruined the quote. It was something along those lines. In other words, well, don't go blubbering over every little thing, but when you really feel like you need to, it's important to weep. I know this. My dad hadn't cried for fifteen years and he went totally insane when he finally did. He cried three times a day and I found it kind of embarassing.

And there is nothing wrong with crying! I swear to god, where the hell do guys get these dumbass ideas? It's not dishonorable, it's _normal!_ I mean, some lady tolf my grandma that breast feeding causes cancer and she believe her! mean, WTF! People have been breastfeeding kids since they were monkeys in caves, and THEY didnt have cancer! What I'm saying is, okay sure, if you bawl like a baby at everything then that's a little ... queer. But if you hold everything inside all the time, then you are making a GIANT mistake. BELIEVE ME! People that never cry grow up to become psycho. It's just not a good thing. So go and bawl your eyes out for me:grins:

I hope you get better.

**Valdevenator 01:** Thanks! And Inu Yasha does think like a kid sometimes. You're right. I'm actually glad you noticed thaat! I was trying to stress that point. See, Inu Yasha, as you'll learn, never really had much of a childhood. His mom died when he was youg, his father became a wreck and he never really had those good memories of being a kid. So he is kind of stuck in kid mode. It's hard to explain but, he is stuck. He is kind of waiting to fulfill his dreams of a good childhood because he can't really move past the tragedy of his life. He has not yet learned to grow up. Besides, he is only fifteen. That's still childhood I guess. 


	22. Belong

_All's Fair in Love and War_

Chapter Twenty One

**Belong**

Friday had come so fast, he didn't even know where the rest of the week had gone. So he sat in his tree, holding his sketch book, drawing his dreams.

His ammonia incident had left him sick (literally) as a dog for a day. He couldn't even get himself to school because he felt so sick and dizzy. Had the ammonia not been diluted with some water, he wondered what would have become of him. Shippou was kind enough to scavange a glass or two of water for him and managed to grab chips from the pantry. Together, they had a picnic. Inu Yasha did not particularly enjoy eating the stale potatoe chips, nor did he like the queer and queasy feeling his stomach got afterwards, but he was hungry after all the contents of his bowels had been forcefully poisoned out of his system.

He felt so terrible that even the thought of coming to school made him feel ill. His head was spinning in so many circles that he wondered where it would stop. He moaned in his bed a lot. Shippou lay aside him and purred and licked his hair clean for him, something that made him him go into fits of laughter. (Painful fits of laughter)

He wished he could come to school. He actually liked school now. Ever since Kagome and Miroku and Sango, it had become quite a pleasurable experience. He looked forward to it. His daydreams of her kept him strong through those days. He fell asleep occasioanally and took naps, and when he did, he dreamt of her. He woke with a smile.

But his waiting was not in vain, for when he went to school the next day, the worried Kagome, full of sorrow for the boy, had graciously offered him a quick ear rub. She reached over and stroked his soft and furry head, saying that she hoped that maybe it would make him feel better. It did.

Last night he had a slightly amusing dream. A bunch of winged pigs with mustaches and southeren accents and guns were chasing him down a hall and he ran into a door and blacked out. So, in his sketch book, there was a chibi style drawing of a little boy with doggy ears being chased be evil, squinty eyed piggies. The rest of his drawings were kind of scary, but this one was hysterical looking. He decided he'd show it Kagome later. She'd laugh. And if he didn't succeed in appealing to her humor, at least _he _would be able to laugh at the expression on her face.

His dreams were strange. He had a lot of wonderful ones. He dreamt of love and beauty. He dreamt of Kagome and Miroku and Sango. He dreamt of his mother. Yes, he always dreamt of his mother. Sometimes it would just be him and her on a porch of a house, talking. Sometimes they would be smiling. Sometimes she would cry in his dreams. He did not _dream_ of his father.

No, his father was in his nightmares.

Today was a nice day. He smiled a lot today. It was just a normal day, but he felt so happy. He had finally found a place to belong, a place he was wanted. It felt so good. He remembered back in the beginning of the year how he was all alone. He remembered how there was no one he could call his friend. And now, he had so many. Kagome, Shippou, Sango, Miroku. All of them were there for him. It nearly brought tears to his eyes thinking about it. He wasn't alone anymore, he didn't have to be so afraid.

However, his dad still presented a problem. Despite laying off him for a day or two after he would recieve a harsh beating, he would still get beaten regularly. He thanked god for being half demon. Even though it was where all his problems came from, it was also the thing keeping him alive, that among other things. Friends, he had friends. And it felt good.

He grinned and surveyed his surroundings. The torn and tattered soccer nets and posts, graying rusty white washed walls of the school, and dead grass on the field never seemed more attractive. The sky seemed so much brighter. The sun seemed so much warmer. Everything seemed so much different now than it did before.

Indeed, the only thing that had actually physically changed, with the exception of the soccer post rotting half way through was the tree he sat in. The once thick and lush green cover dissappeared and was now replaced with a skeletal form. The enormous trunk grew up and split into many different directions, thinning into small delicate fingers. He flipped a page in his sketchbook and started drawing the tree, except instead of branches, there were fingers and instead of leaves there were rings and jewelry.

The world seemed like such a happy place. It seemed so much more welcome now somehow. He didn't know exactly how to explain it, but he liked it. It was like seeing things through a different light. Something felt different about the way he saw things. Before, he dreaded school, because he knew he would have to endure the childrens stares and jokes. He hated his home because he knew that there, he was never safe. He hated going to sleep because he knew he would have to wake up the next day.

Before, he remembered dreading school with everything inside of him. Dreading his home with everything inside him. Just plain dreading. Everything seemed so much darker before. He was so scared and felt so small. But now, he felt so much lighter, so much more free and happy than he ever remember himself being. Somehow, some metaphorical collar came off of his neck. (Or at least it was loosened.) Everything was just so...changed. So different. But in a good way.

"Inu Yasha." A gir'l's voice called up the tree in the same sweet and melodic tune he had grown so accustomed to hearing. "Wanna walk me home?"

He looked down and smiled warmly. "Sure Kagome." He leapt down, grabbing his backpack before he went. She grinned as she watched him float down to the ground. There was something so majestic about the way he jumped. It was like someone put him in slow motion. She took his hand and walked down towards her house.

For the two, holding hands was not a shy romantic gesture, nor was it custom or politeness, but on Inu Yasha's part, pure instinct. Ever since a couple weeks into the school year she had grabbed his hand, and he had held it. It was as simple as that. And every day, their fingers would lace together, and suddenly, the world was such a beautiful place. And he reached for her hand when she did not reach for his. To grab those fingers had become pure neccessity.

Her hands felt nice, though probably more tan than his slender ones, and more sturdy, they were smooth and soft. His hands were small and frail looking. And although they were pale, other than his face, the were the darkest part of his body. If he held them up to the right light, he could see the pathways his blue blood ran through to take the oxygen-less fluid to his heart. He was pale, though not from lack of sunlight. He spent all his free time outside, reasonably. But it was because he wore long sleeves or jackets and pants that reached well below his knee all the time. The fact that it was getting cold out was a welcome relief, as well as a constant worry.

One night his father took him outside promising a 'campout'. What the man didn't teel him was that Inu Yasha was going in a t-shirt and shorts and the only blankets were inside the locked house his father ran into. He was sick the next week and a half. The only time those cloth layers were peeled from his skin was when he was resting happily in a bath tub, or when he was lying on the floor, bloody and broken looking.

"Did you get your report card?" she asked.

"Hm? Oh yeah!" he exclaimed. "I did pretty well I guess."

"What grades fif you get? My GPA is three point two." she said happily. "I brought it up point one."

"Um, I think mine was ... " he sighed and pretended to look through his memory for the average of his grades. He remembered them though, of _course_ he remembered them. And he got better than Kagome, and for some strange reason that made him feel bad. "I think I got ... Three point six?" he said an exhaled through his nostrils. She clapped and smiled.

"I'm so proud to have such a smart friend!" she chirped. "You're doing so well Inu Yasha!" she encouraged.

Inu Yasha blushed, although by now that just meant his face got more red than the constant pinkness his cheeks had attained when she was near him. "Heh, thank you!" He beamed at her. He was slightly worried that he'd make her feel bad because his were higher but that was just him, he assumed. More than he feared she would come to hate him, was that he feared he would lose her. He could not lose her.

"So ... " Kagome hummed, searching for a topic of conversation. "What are you doing over the weekend Inu Yasha?" she asked.

"Eh, nothing." He replied almost by instinct. He never did anything on the weekends. He usually just stayed in the tree by the school, if anything, and drew. "Oh wait!" he said, suddenly remembering his plans. "I'm going to this carnival thing."

"Oh! I heard about that! I was going to go. Who's taking you? Er, who are you going with?" she asked.

"Um, I know how weird this sounds, but I'm going with my cat." he said. Should he mention that Shippou was a cat demon? "But he's really cool. You'd like him."

Kagome burst into a fit of giggles. "Hey, you wouldn't mind if I tagged along would you?" she asked. "You really don't have to let me come with you and your ... um ... cat? But I was going to go there, and since my mom is busy teaching yoga at the shrine, she can't stay, but uh, we can give you a ride! So..." she drifted off.

"Oh, sure, no problem." he said happily. In fact, he wasn't happy about her proposal, he was euphoric! The prospect of transportation had never been thoroughly thought over by him or littlle Shippou. He supposed he would use whatever money he had saved up to get a cab that he would call for in a bathroom, where eeven his father did not dare disturb him. "I don't think Shippou will mind." he said. He always figured Shippou would get along well with Kagome anyways. After all, Inu Yasha had told him so much about her

"Shippou?"

"My cat."

"Um... Inu Yasha? Why are you taking a cat to a carnival?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at the boy beside her.

"Well, see, um. How do I say this?" he thought for a second. "My cat is a ... demon? So he can, uh, talk and stuff. He's really small, and fuzzy. I think you'll like him." he said.

"Oh! A demon! You should have just said that! Now I get it!" she laughed. "Heh, that's funny, at first I thought you were going to be taking an actual kitten to a carnival."

He laughed. "Well, Shippou's like a little person. He's cool. You'll like him!" He smiled. "He's little and fuzzy and has really neat orange fur, with these stripes on it and everything. And he has these neat emerald eyes and he can take on a human form, but since he's still young, he can only be partly human so he has ears and a tail!" Inu Yasha said. He continued on to tell Kagome about Shippou. All. About. Shippou. In fact, Kagome guessed Shippou must be be pretty freaking perfect if it made Inu Yasha talk about him this much.

Finally, they arrived at her shrine and were standing at the iron gates. Kagome looked up the stair well. "So, um, we're here." she said, looking up at the shrine and unlocking her fingers from his.

"Oh, well um, see you tonight?" he verified.

"Yup. Tonight. I'll meet you by the carnival gates. Kay?" she asked.

"Yup. I'll be there." He stood still for a moment, thoughts flickering through his sunshine eyes. A hug would be nice right now. His arms didn't really seem to be working however. And the funny thing was, he wasn't sure if it was because of his father's beatings or because he was nervous. He waved hesitantly and walked back down the street, but soon stopped when he heard footsteps darting towards him. A pair of arms wrapped around his waist and squeezed him, warming his waist, but only for a second.

"Bye, Inu Yasha!" she said. He turned around in time to get a glimpse of her running up the stairs. He grinned and waved again, despite the fact that he knew she couldn't see him. Then he blasted into the air and towards his house. He needed to get ready for tonight.

**_Author's Notes_**

You have read a hundred pages of this story so far. Whoot!

_Well, after several consecutive groundings, (I swear, my dad just loves to punish me.) and seven final exams, I am back! New chapter here!  
_  
**_Fanart_**  
**By:** Sleepwalking Chicken and HAP. Thank you Picken! I love you! (huggles the crap out of her)

http/ www. deviantart. com/ deviation/ 18892915/

Remove spaces

_  
_**I AM GOING TO JAPAN ON TUESDAY!**(I know! Squee!) and therefor, the next chapter may be late guys.

This is basically all the things that have changed about Inu Yasha over the course of the past couple weeks he has been with Kagome. (Not ta mention San Chan and Miroku kun)

For the record, no, it's not a date. As of yet, no real romance or love has been established, so don't get your hopes up. Though, ehrm, if they _do _happen to kiss, maybe, I think I know how I would do it. (Oh you know, not that I have any real _plans_ or anything. :cough:)

By the way, I wrote a sonnet for a part in the next chapter. Kinda neat I think, but it sucks. :sob:

But **please review**! Please, please, please! I have so many of those damned things. Thanks for helping me reach six hundred:hugs everyone: I looves you guys!

_Next Chapter? _**Prepare Yourself**


	23. Prepare Yourself

**  
**_(**Quick Author Rant- **So righto, I am holding a contest so that two lucky peoples may become **characters in this story! **Tch, how cool is that. For details, read the author notes.)  
**  
All's Fair in Love and Wa**_**r**

Chapter Twenty Two

Prepare Yourself  


He held the flyer in his hand. Apparently, Kagome had slipped it into his pockets, because he had no idea how it got there. It was printed in bright shiny letters on salmon colored paper and read:

** _Kieuseru's Wonderland_**  
_  
Come one, come all! On this so wondrous and famous October night-  
Awaits a slumber from what's real,  
A time of ghouls and spirits aflight. On this so wondrous of a night.  
Take this invitation as thou feel.  
In Furisho's barren fairground, where we lay our scene  
Comes the traveling circus, of spirits and freaks.  
Magic and trickery, excitement in deceit, a night to see and not be seen.  
But only under moonlight, when through the grass it streaks.  
Hidden entertainment, and masked be those who come  
Noise and laughter, with no face.  
Time to frolic and places to run.  
Though within there is- a resting place.  
Come forth whence silver touches the sky  
And dance in this beauty, beheld by thine eye.  
_

This was an invitation? He could scarcely read it, much less understand what it meant. Lets see. _'Famous October night.'_ Today was the thirty first of October, so it meant it was on Halloween. He always loved Halloween as a child. Since everyone was dressed up weird he could blend in and for a night, he was normal. He noticed people were nicer to him on that night. They couldn't tell what he was.

_'Take this invitation as thou feel._' Let's see. That must mean to interpret the sonnet as one thinks. _Furisho's barren fair ground.'_ The name sounded familiar to him. He knew of an empty lot that was used whenever local festivities would occur so that must mean it took place there. He laughed. Barren was the perfect word to describe it. Come to think of it, he hadn't seen any preparation for the festival when he saw it last. Don't they need like a week or two to prepare for these things? Never mind that.

_'A night to see and not be seen.' _What does that mean? A night to see and not be seen. Maybe he should just ask Kagome later. Though this was soon cleared up by the line _Hidden entertainment, and masked be those who come'_ _So I have to wear a mask do I?'_ Come to think of it, he didn't own a mask. He also didn't own decent clothing. But he figured a hooded sweater would suffice. 

He figured that the line: _But only under moonlight'_ meant that the festival would only occur during night time. So he figured he should get there around seven. He hadn't exactly clarified with Kagome when to meet but he figured that he'd find her somehow. That was about all he needed to gather from this so called invitation', so he put it into pocket again.

So Shippou, should I wear this piece of shit or this one? he said, holding up two equally ugly pieces of clothing.

said Shippou, curling his nose in distaste, The one that smells less. he decided.

You're probably right on that one. he said, tossing a torn pair of old jeans to the corner of his room'. On second though, I could just stop by Kagome's before I go and use that haori her mom gave me. She might be able to find pants that go with it, and if all else fails I can use the archery robes. asked Shippou. She's gonna be there too? Shippou had never met Kagome but he had heard all about her. All. About. Her. And from what he gathered, she was a kind hearted, mysterious young girl in Inu Yasha's class that had taken a liking to him. He liked her, but only because he knew how happy she made him. He recognized the steady rate of change in him from the beginning of the year when Inu Yasha had taken him in, scared, lonely, and frail, to what he was now; A confidant stronger half breed with no mom and an abusive father. His daddy, and he was proud to bear that title.

Oh yeah! he said, suddenly remembering he hadn't told Shippou about their new guest. She's going to come with us to the festival. I told her I'd meet her, but we can surprise her and go to her house early. Sound fun? We can sneak around the Higurashi estate. he said. Shippou nodded.

I like to prowl. Shippou said quite randomly. I can be really sneaky, like this one time He drifted off into a story of how he had snuck up on an animal of some sort and killed it. Inu Yasha smiled and nodded and pat him on his head, though, truth be told, he wasn't exactly listening completely. The traffic in his head was too busy for him to do much but anticipate the night. Come to think of it, that poem was pretty cool.

And he wondered, what kimono would Kagome wear? He was sure she would look pretty in it. What food would they have at the festival? How would Kagome look when she saw him in her house earlier than he should be? Inu Yasha? Inu Yaaaashaaa He came out of his thoughts. Anyone there? The small boy rapped his knuckles against his head.

Inu Yasha's eyes widened as he looked over at Shippou, banging his fist against his head lightly, to get his attention. Oh! Um, sorry! I was listening! I swear! he snapped.

Shippou asked. Silence ensued.

He checked his watch. It's five thirty. Wanna head over to Kagome's now? he asked.

Inu Yasha, we there yet? Are we, are we? Shippou pounded on his skull lightly and continued. How far are we? How long is it until we get there?

Kids.

Inu Yasha tried his best to ignore the comments, but a twitch developed in his brow and he decided it wasn't healthy to let it stay like that. We'll be there someday! And if you don't be quiet then I am not going to carry you the whole way! he yelled. It is important to discipline children sometimes.

Shippou apologized and sat quietly on Inu Yasha shoulder. 

And if it is important to discipline them it's also good to apologize for it because Inu Yasha silently murmured to Shippou for yelling at him. 

They had just passed the market place Kagome's mom had talked about once before so he knew they weren't far. He turned corner and the pointy roof of Kagome's home came into sight. Hold tight Shippou! he told him and burst into the air. He landed with a thud on Kagome's roof.

Soft cherry blossom lips. Deco pink blush cheeks. Eyelids painted the color of the night time sky. Eye lids glittering with the twinkle of stars. Smooth silky fabric printed with the motif of baby blue butterflies and soft pink sakura blossoms. She twirled around once and watched the kimono's edges flutter away from her ankles.

Perfect.

So, who are you trying to impress? her mother asked slyly, eying her as she leaned against the girls bed room door.

Hm, no one in particular. She replied coolly, pulling a brush through her hair. Though I hear there's plenty of hot guys at these festivals. And plenty of ones just like I or Inu Yasha.Ah, so that Inu Yasha boy is going too? Kagome clamped her hand over her mouth. No wonder you've prettied yourself up so much. You didn't get this dressed up last time we went.

Well, mom, that was ten years ago! That doesn't count! she replied.

Don't worry Kagome, It's okay if you like Inu Yasha. He's such a sweet boy. And he has such good energy. He is half demon, though he is not corrupt. He is quite special indeed. I approve. The woman nodded with a small grin.

Approve of what! she bit. There isn't anything going on between-

THUMP!

Kagome and her mother stared up at the ceiling and only blinked twice before Kagome gave her mother a Did-You-Hear-That-or-is-it-Just-Me look. Her mother shrugged and continued.

Anyways, if I were a girl your age and there was a boy like Inu Yasha in my class- she shrieked. No offense, but I really don't want to know what you'd do to Inu Yasha if you were my age.Well, I'm just saying- she said and pointed at the doorway. Her mother sighed and shrugged and left the room. Now, Kagome usually doesn't raise her voice, but the images that would have crossed her mind had her mother continued was enough to make anyone yell. Kagome giggled to herself after she left. The fact that her mother liked Inu Yasha was a good thing, but she highly doubted that Inu Yasha was ready for any kind of involvement on a serious level. Well, as serious as teenagers can get. They're such fickle things. He seemed to be struggling enough, and the last thing he needed was a girlfriend.

Most importantly, the last thing he needed was a girlfriend that wasn't herself. If somebody broke his heart, she swore to God she'd kill them herself. Though, with his social standings, she really couldn't imagine him with any girl in the world. Herself included. After all, he was her best friend. _Er, wait, Sango.'_

She turned around to go to the kitchen and there was Inu Yasha in her doorway, smiling that Inu Yasha patented awkward smile, standing in her doorway. She nearly screamed. Inu Yasha? she hissed, her eyes wide.

Oh, um hi. he said sheepishly, waving.

She raised an eyebrow. They exchanged confused glances.

The man at the front let me in and led me here. He must have recognized me from the last time I came here. She stared at him, the confusion playing across her features. You probably want to know why I'm here don't you? She nodded and he continued. Well, your mom gave me this haori and I wanted to wear it to the festival, so yeah.Oh. I hadn't expected you to come so early. Well at least I'm dressed. Shippou poked his head out from behind Inu Yasha's head. Who's that? Shippou? she said, starting to grin.

Inu Yasha took Shippou out from behind his neck. Oh yeah, it's Shippou. He held Shippou underneath his arms out to Kagome. She grinned and took him in her arms.

He's so cute! She squeaked in a high pitched girly voice. I can't believe you found him in a tree, of all places.

Shippou looked up at Kagom, his emerald eyes wide, and mewed. She scratched under his chin and he purred. He likes you. said Inu Yasha. He's usually pretty scared of strangers. I try to teach him to be cautious. But he warms up once you get to know him. Kagome grinned at the small lump of fur in her arms.

You know what's weird? she said. He kind of reminds me of you. Like if you were little, this is what you'd be like. Except not orange. she laughed.

He clutched his mouth and went into a high pitched fit of giggles. I'm corrupting him! She snickered and rubbed his head. Shippou, looking cautiously at his surroundings mewed and Kagome held him to her chest. He settled down.

You couldn't corrupt anything if you _tried, _Inu YashaHey, should we have tea while we wait? she asked. My mom would probably make it anyways. That woman, always with the tea, it's like a compulsion. We can eat food at the festival. He grinned and followed her into the kitchen.

**_Author's Notes  
_**  
**YOU COULD BE IN THIS STORY! (**_Read below_

_Anyone remotely interested or thinking about entering MUST mention something in their review! I want to know how many people may enter. Because if there isnt enough contestants, this won't work._

Yes, you could be in this story. Okay, I need one male and one female character so there will be two winners. If two females win the contest, then I suppose one will make a male character and vice versa. So ... this is how I will decide who will be in my beloved little story. A contest!

I know most of you are feeling pretty lazy and all, whatwith it being summer and all, but this thing wont work if no one enters it, so just write something, it doesnt have to be long.

**_For any questions or concerns, please contact me through email or instant messanger. The screen names can be found on my bio._**

It is an art contest revolving around a theme.

**You may pick a theme from below:**

-_Innocent as a child  
-Something to love  
-A reason to breathe  
_**  
Here are the guide lines:  
**  
-The media you may use is **any** form of **visual art**. Sketches, markers, crayons, digital art, paint, anything at all. **Poetry** and short **ficlets** are also accepted. **Photography** is also accepted, as long as it portains to the theme and the story.

-It must be related to the story in some way.

-It must be related to the theme.

-Nudity is accepted, though for some reason, I dont see how someone could do something involving it.

-If you wish, you may submit more than one entry. Both will be judged. (For instance, a poem and a picture ... it counts as two entries. It may up your chances of winning.)

-If you post a poem or prose, please mention the story it is for.

**Ways to Submit Your Entry:  
**_  
As soon as you finish your piece, **please **tell me via review, IM, devaintArt, or email._

For Poetry or Prose: Poetry or prose can be submitted directly via fanfiction, deviant art, or through email. (My email address can be found in my bio.)

_For Art:_ You can submit art to Deviant Art. Or if you arent on dA (which you should be because it's cool and easy to join.) then you could maybe scan it and send it through email or instant message? I think Photobucket may also work.

**Due date:** There is no set date to have your stuff submitted. The characters you will become dont come into use until MUCH later in the story. At almost the very end. So I'd say the sooner the better, but dont rush through it.

**Please review!**

Next Chapter: _Patience_****

(_A big important look into Inu Yasha's childhood. On the day that changed his life for good. Bye mommy... Angsty._**)  
**


	24. Patience

**_CONTEST UPDATE: _**I would like to thank all the people who have spent their time making something for my contest. If anyone would like to see the entries, they're on my profile. Go check em out and tell me which one you think is the best! I love you guys:hugs all:

For those of you submitting writing, it would be VERY HELPFUL if you submitted it as a posting on Um, so if you writ something please post it instead of submitting it in a review! Thanks!

**Also another note- ** Alright people, I have been reading Inu Yasha for two years and I own episodes 1-140 on DVD, so you would THINK that I know that Shippou is a fox demon in the real story. I KNOW! Alright, if I didn't then I probably wouldnt be writing this story. So please DONT tell me that he's a fox in the anime because I already know. This is AU and OOC. That means some things will be different. (Like the fact Inu Yasha doesn't live in the feudal era and has an abusive father.) Thank you.  
****

_All's Fair in Love and War_

Chapter Twenty Three

Patience  


Inu Yasha, along with Kagome, her mother, and Shippou, sat at the small kitchen table drinking tea, with the exception of Shippou who had a saucer of milk. I'm so glad you could come Inu Yasha. It's good to see that my daughter is making some good loyal friends for once, not like- Kagome sent a icy glare at her mother (Inu Yasha gasped. Kagome _could _glare? He never knew.) and she shut her mouth. So, excited for the festival? she asked instead.

Kagome and Inu Yasha nodded, Her mother smiled, Good, I'm glad. I really wish I could go, but I have a yoga lesson to teach tonight, so sadly I am missing it. I heard the shows tonight are going to be spectacular though. I mean, since it's Halloween and all. She grinned. I remember the last time I went there. It was ten years ago, when the carnival first started.It started ten years ago? Inu Yasha asked.

Ten years ago.  
_  
Children laughing. Tires screeching. _

Something happened ten years ago.  
_  
Someone yelling. Get in the car!' _

Something...

_Driving faster. Sirens screaming._

Something important.

_Dizzy headed. She's not coming back.' _

His eyes narrowed in concentration. Small flashes and pictures ran through his memory. Little bits and pieces of information. He remembered them. Though looking back on it, that day really made no sense at all.

But who would expect it to? He was just a child, a five year old child.  
**  
:---:**

_  
The teacher's chocolate eyes sparkled as she helped the small children with their costumes. See, Sarah, now put your head through this hole. No wait! That's the wrong one honey Inu Yasha snickered from his desk as he watched Sarah get her head stuck in the arm hole of her princess dress. Luckily, he didn't have to wear a costume for Halloween, he would always just go as he was, and be a demon for Halloween._

Strangely enough, he always anticipated this day. Everyone was nice to him today. If he passed them in a hall, people would smile at him. If he fell, people would help him up. If he dropped something, people would pick it up for him. Everyone was just so nice. But only today. This was like a vacation, or a holiday, or a break from reality. He wondered why everyone was always kind on this day.

Of course, he didn't take for granted this one day of kindness, but how come people had to be so mean the other three hundred and sixty five days of the year? If it wasn't such a hassle, a smile from somebody would be nice once in a while. He picked his head up from his desk, the teacher was bringing out cookies.

They looked so good. They were green and had orange frosting, and he couldn't help but wonder what made them that weird green color. The children half way knocked the teacher over in order to get a cookie and Inu Yasha waited patiently outside of the ring of rowdy children. 'Impatient brats.' _he thought sourly. Why couldn't they just wait to get one like he was doing? They would get one eventually. What's the point in stampeding the teacher?_

She set the tray down on a counter and the kids dog piled each other, grubby stout fingers reaching for the sugary treat. Remember! Only one! Sighing, she walked away, and the look on her face was that of one who glad just to be alive. Little kids can be dangerous. He tapped his foot and took a glance at his Spider Man his mom had bought him at Target or some other store. Thirty seconds. Thirty one, thirty two, thirty three. The crowd was starting to clear up and he took a few steps closer. Finally, the last kid walked away and he reached out to the plate to find that it was empty. He looked around and his ears drooped.

Why didn't they just wait to get one like he did? Oh yeah. He didn't get one.

He padded gently over to the teacher. He tugged on the woman's skirt. Um, I didn't get one. he said shyly, sniffling.

Oh, Inu Yasha. I got enough for the whole class though. she said, tapping her chin thoughtfully. She tilted her head as she looked at a boy in the class. Yoku-kun! How many did you take? She walked over to him. He blushed and hid his hands behind his back.

one. he said, quickly gobbling the rest of the cookie in his hand.

What's behind your back then? she asked.

he said, holding out one of his hands.

The teacher raised an eyebrow. Both hands. she said softly. Hesitantly, he held out the other one to reveal another cookie. Yoku kun, why did you lie to me?I dunno. he said and looked down.

Can you give that cookie to Inu Yasha? He didn't get one because you took too many. she said, sweetly. He looked up at Inu Yasha who was smiling shyly. Maybe he would get a cookie out of this anyways? Yoku looked back and forth between the boy and the cookie.

Inu Yasha felt a hint of a grin. The boy took a step forward then raised the cookie to his own face and licked the back, right before shoving it in Inu Yasha's hand. he said quickly and ran away.

the teacher shot angrily and ran to follow him. Inu Yasha dropped the cookie in his hand, damp now from saliva. That was the LAST cookie he would ever eat.

He bit at his lip. How come on the ONE day that people were supposed to be decent to him, this kid is STILL mean? This wasn't supposed to happen! He bit harder and could taste a tiny drop of his blood.  
**  
Note to self:**_ Don't let people step on you._

His brows furrowed and he walked up to the boy named Yoku. He turned a light pink and managed to get out. S-say you're s-sorry. His voice trembled. This kid looked like a third grader. Maybe he got held back? He was at least a good half a foot taller.

Why the heck should I? he spat back at the shaking half breed.

B-because. You took two, so so now I don't get one. he managed. His old sneakers rubbed smudges at the floor he was looking at.

Oh yeah, well you should be saying sorry demon boy! the other boy barked. Inu Yasha cocked his head to the side. Because no one likes you, the teacher feels bad and is always nicer to you than to all of us. And your kind are evil. My mommy told me so! She said that you kill people and steal and uh do other bad stuff! he stuttered out. Inu Yasha's eyes widened.

Kill?

Steal?

Do bad ... stuff? He didn't do anything like what the boy said.

but I-So demon boy, where are your horns huh? the boy interrupted.

another girl joined in. Where are they? Hidden underneath those fuzzy cat ears of yours?Th-th-they They're not cat-Yeah Poo poo Yasha, what are you gonna do now? Huh? he taunted, in a six year old manner of course. Fuzzy little kitty Yasha! Bet you think your long hair makes you cool, but it doesn't! It makes you look like a girl!

Looking back on it, Inu Yasha couldn't help but wonder how this was relevant to the topic of conversation. Of course, were he older and more mature, he would have come up with a much more intelligent counter to the insult, but at the time, the only response he could think of was, I'm not a girl! He shrieked.

The larger boy just laughed along with the girl who giggled. You're not fit to be a demon, you're just a sissy little girly girl! he said, still laughing.

"Yeah, you're not even smart enough to be a real demon! Your only half!" the girl shot. Shut up! I'm not a dumb butt! he shrieked, and in a fit of rage, he shoved his flat palm into the other boys stomach, sending him flying back, and landing on his own butt. Yoku looked up watery eyed. His lips began to tremble. He burst out in tears.

he shrieked. A woman came running. Her round body jiggled with her step and her breasts swayed from side to side in a rather intriguing manner. (It was really kind of disturbing.)

she said, like a worried mother would. Who would-? The boy pointed to Inu Yasha, standing doe eyed in front of the boy. The woman turned to the small and twitching Inu Yasha. His white hair shook in ripples as he starting shaking in fear of punishment for his actions. His ear swiveled backwards as he caught the sounds of shuffling in the front of the class.

The woman's lip curled in disgust. You little filth! She yelled at Inu Yasha. How DARE you hurt my son? she said, as if her son was some priceless porcelain artifact that Inu Yasha had just taken in his hands and smashed into a million little pieces. You little little, HALF BREED! she yelled. The teacher came running towards the havoc.

Inu Yasha blinked back tears. His chubby and pale fingers wiped his wet eyes, matting his eye lashes and smearing the wetness across his face. Why was she being so mean? He was only tring to defend himself right? A droplette of copper tasting blood ran down his slightly parted lower lip. The woman screamed and fanned herself with her hand.

Ms Shimura, please, calm down! the teacher said. Listen, it was probably an accident so let's-No, you listen to me! That that THING right there just injured my son! Are you just going to LET that happen? For gods sake, punish him! She looked over at Inu Yasha, dog ears drooping, eyes puffy with tears. Her eyes darkened. You pitiable sh-MS SHIMURA! The teacher shrieked. PLEASE! Watch your language in front of the children! Now if you'll just calm down- The woman picked up her crying son and walked out of the door, cooing to him. Before she left, she cast a dark glare at the teacher.

You should be ashamed, letting monsters run free... she muttered. The teacher's eyes widened in shock at the insult. How could that woman just openly insult such a defenseless child? She grew up with a demon nanny who was as kind and gentle as any human, so she knew that not all demons were bad, but some people ...

The teacher cast a sad gaze down at Inu Yasha. She kneeled by him. Inu Yasha? she hummed.

I I'm sorry he said, stifling sobs. I - I didn't mean it. He sniffled. I am sorry, I shouldn't have. I-I-I he broke down into small sobs. The teacher rubbed his back.

It's okay, Inu Yasha. she cooed. That boy was just being mean because he was angry. He sniffed and looked at her, his molten brass eyes filled with tears. He sniffled again and wiped his face with his sleeve. Besides, he doesn't know what he's saying. You're a good boy Inu Yasha. Hear me? A good boy. She pat him on his head and his ears perked up a little.

He growned and stomped his feet. But ... it's not fair! he said, his voice rising ever so slightly above room volume. The teacher urged him to continue. It's just ... every one does this! How come? Why can't they be nice to me too? Why is it always me they hate! They can't just be nice for once_! Why do they hate me? Two tears dripped down his cheek. What did I do wrong? he looked up at the teacher pathetically. His huge brazen eyes glimmering dully and covered with a thick wet layer or salty fluid._

Inu Yasha ... She was about to give this kid a big talk, and she knew it. Look honey, you're, you're ... different. And thats not bad! she cleared up quickly. But see, not everyone has silver hair, pretty gold eyes, and cute fuzzy ears like you do. And some of them are scared by that.Because I'm frigtening? he asked.

No! Not that, it's just, some people feel threatened when they dont understand something. So that doesn't make you bad, you're a very good boy Inu Yasha. Understand? The boy nodded. I know that not all demons are bad. I had a demon nanny when I was a little girl and she was very wonderful. But some people ... some people just can't help but hate what they can't understand. he said softly and looked down.

Now, maybe if you stop crying I can open the extra box of cookies I bought and sneak you one. he smiled a tiny smile. But it's a secret, kay? You can't tell anyone. he said and beamed, brazen eyes turning to gold once again.

she said, extending her pinky finger.

he shook her pinky with his own and she grabbed his small hand, leading him to the secret' box of sweets.

Rock forward, rock back, rock forward, rock back.

He tipped between his heels and the ball of his foot, ever threatening to fall, if it weren't for his heightened sense of balance. He hummed and looked around calmly, wandering when his mother would get here. It would be a definite relief to see her now, after the trauma at school.

He leaned forward and looked around the curve as he felt a hand on his back push him forward. He fell forwards and skidded on the rough road in front of him. Then he heard laughing. It was HIM again, that Yoku boy. He could tell that cruel laugh from any other in the world. That rude hysteric vengeful laugh. He cringed. He sat up just in time to catch a glimpse of the boy's mother, smiling and patting his head. His eyes narrowed darkly, and his vision blurred with forming tears. He once again wiped his eyes on his sleeve.

Why do people have to be so mean?' he wondered and looked at his knees, the blood now seeping through his skin. He watched it trickle through the tiny cracks in his skin. He leant down and lapped it up with his tongue, once again tasting the coppery bitter taste of his blood. Somehow it tasted sweet. He wondered if humans or demons had sweet tasting blood too. Maybe it was just half breeds like himself.

He stared at the cut in his knee, waiting till the blood covered the wound and then lapping it up. His mom once told him that his mouth had healing properties, because he had demon blood in him like her. She said to lick himself if he bled, and it would get better. He asked her if it was like a dog and she smiled and said Yes.'

He stopped and his ears perked up. With his acute hearing he picked up a strange sound. It sounded very far away, hardly audible to him, but he heard it. It was a high wailing sound, like a crying bird or a wailing child. Sirens.

They were so loud. He wondered what someone had done. Murder? Suicide? Drugs? Prostitution? What had another human done to further destroy their own race? He often wondered why people were so destructive. They talk about wanting peace and happiness, but all they do is hurt each other, and others. And himself. Yes, humans love pain, he thought.

He sighed and licked his bloody knee again. His ears picked up another sound. This one was much closer. It was tires, gas, engine noises. He looked over to the entrance of the school parking lot and saw the familiar Honda pull into it, screeching to a halt beside the sitting boy. he shrieked happily. The passenger seat car door opened and there was not his mother. Daddy? Why are you here? I thought mommy was picking me up today. We were going to go-Shut up! Get the fuck in here Inu Yasha! That was the last time he remembered his dad calling him by his name.

But Dad-I said, get in the car! Now! He yelled angrily. The boy scurried up and ran to gather his book bag. JUST leave it! the man yelled from the car.

LEAVE IT! He half screamed, the familiar sound sending shivers down Inu Yasha's small spine. The boy turned heel and ran into the passenger seat, immediately buckling himself up. As soon as the car door slammed shut, his father shoved his foot against the gas pedal, the mere force sending Inu Yasha slamming into the backrest of the car.

He looked up at his fathers frustrated face. he whimpered. Are you mad at me? No answer. Did I do something? Still, this earned no response. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you ma-Just SHUT UP! he roared, sending the boy in the passenger's seat into submissive silence. There was only silence for a while. Inu Yasha looked out of the window and poked his fingers at the glass, watching the swirly fingerprint shapes appear on the glass. They just entered his neighborhood, he'd be home soon.

Daddy, you passed our house! he shrieked.

I know. the man finally responded.

A pause. Silence. His thoughts ran rapid. But they all stopped at one thought. His voice was so shaky.

Where is Mommy?

The man's face scrunched together. It was a weird look that Inu Yasha had never in his memory seen before on the man. He turned all red and blotchy and his eyes looked really shiny. He knew the man was trying to hide it but he looked sad. Very very sad. Not just upset, or just saddened, but the look in his scrunched features pushed more towards heartbroken. And this look unnerved Inu Yasha. He knew that his father was a man not quick to tears. Something bad happened. Something very very terrible happened. And this worried him.

She's not coming back.  
**  
:---:**

That night, as he sat up in his bed, sobbing his own childish tears, he heard the most agonizing and heartbreakingly painful sounds coming from the man's bedroom. It was the sounds of a broken man. He sobbed in compliance with them. The ring of agonizing despair and pain that came from his howling father broke his heart. He resented the man, the cold and unhappy man, with all his heart, but when someone, even your worst enemy, is as seemingly desperate and miserable as his father was that night, hatred no longer matters. He grew to hate his father, but that night he felt something for the suffering creature in the room next to his.

Pity.

Later his father had told him that she died and went where all demons go when they die. Hell. What a lovely thought for a child, right? He asked why and the man just told him that she was killed. He asked who. He said that her demon clan did it, when they found out about them being mommy and daddy together. For a while, he wondered ig the demon clanwould come back for him and his father but his fears were assuaged when time passed and nothing happened. He ended up moving far away from his other home and moved into the house he was living in at the present. He started elementary school in his new location and a changed life began anew.

His head started to pulse. He shook his head and clenched his eyes shut. Now was no time for a migraine! Kagome raised an eyebrow. Noticing her gaze he replied, Oh, it's nothing, it's just, my mom died ten years ago today. he smiled weakly, only to assure Kagome that he was okay.

He would never really forget the day she died. However he only remembered because it was Halloween, and all the children were dressed up in their costumes. He remembered them running around looking like angels or devils, or demons or animals. He couldn't help but wonder why people were so nice to each other, even when they looked like he did, but they still couldnt be nice to him.

Kagome gasped and put her hands over her mouth. Inu Yasha, I'm so sorry, did you visit her grave?I-I don't know where it is. he said quietly. That was right, he never even found out that his mother was actually dead until a week or two after she died when he had finally mustered up the courage to ask his father.

You don't know where your own mother's grave is? Kagome's mother asked with a slight ring of worry in her voice. Inu Yasha looked down and shook his head. I'll say a prayer for her here then, while you and Kagome are at the carnival.

He looked up at her and smiled. Thank you Miss Higurashi. She smiled warmly. She looked down at her watch. It's getting late, we should start heading down there now. said Ms. Higurashi. They nodded and headed to the door, Shippou perched upon Inu Yasha's shoulder.  
**_  
Author's Notes_**

**Wow! This chapter's loong! **

Hehe, today I went to a range and shot guns ... :giggle: It was so fun and scary. Apperently I'm a sharpshooter or something because I got a whole bunch of the bullets on the black part in the middle and it was my first time. My dad says I have talent. **__**

Note to self: Add more abuse. This story is getting way too fluffy.

Well, it may seem happy, but believe me, plot twists are coming up that will make your eyeballs pop out of your head. I'm not telling what though! But I have FINALLY decided on the way Inu Yasha's childhood is, the way its gonna end, the way the plot is gonna work out, and everything. Yay! This story is looking at being around thirty five chapters. (Probably more.) Ooh! That's so long! I'm so happy. Well, please review!

Well, this chapter is basically just a really long flashback, but thats okay. I lika da flashbacks. Next chapter, they ACTUALLY go to the carnival thing. (Finally, right?)  
**  
REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW**

REVIEW RESPONSES

Emberluver: Thanks! Hehe, and yeah, I know LeilaTourniquet. (Or at least I remember her reviewing me.) Tell her I thank her for recommending my story:feeling teh specialness:

**Silver Dog Demon: ** More abuse? Yes, it could certaintly use more of that. But I have to make room for plot you see?  
**  
Sleepwalking Chicken and HAP: **I loooove you:glomp: I cant believe your review got cut off. Grr. I shall go and kick someone who is a staff and force them to give it back. But I love fambling! Feel free to ramble:hug hug: And thanks for da contest entry!

**Ami Kuroneko-** You dont have to draw to enter. If you want to enter, you can write a poem or a short ficlet or one shot. You get the point.

**Suaru-** I love you, too! And Sara and Bro even though I don't know them as much! Cant wait until you submit your super entry you have been working on. A picture **and** a poem hm? Yay:glee:  
**  
xXDarkSlayerXx:** I dont know if I answered you or not but it can be picture of anything as long as it relates to the story and a theme of your choice. (To see the themes, look on chapter 23's author notes.)****

Next Chapter: _Wonderland_****


	25. Wonderland

__

**All's Fair in Love and War**

**Chapter Twenty Four**

**Wonderland**

**T**he attractions seemed to stretch on for miles. He stepped out of Kagome's mom's car and surveyed the once empty field ahead of him. This place was huge. He couldn't even see the horizon anymore, just an ongoing field of lights, rides, and people. He had to blink a couple times just to verify that this was actually _real_. Kagome tugged at is sleeve. "Inu Yasha! Let's go! It's already started!" She ran ahead and he followed soon after, carrying a small bouncing Shippou.

The attractions seemed to stretch on for miles. He stepped out of Kagome's mom's car and surveyed the once empty field ahead of him. This place was huge. He couldn't even see the horizon anymore, just an ongoing field of lights, rides, and people. He had to blink a couple times just to verify that this was actually . Kagome tugged at is sleeve. "Inu Yasha! Let's go! It's already started!" She ran ahead and he followed soon after, carrying a small bouncing Shippou. 

He read the sign that stretched across the entrance. It read 'Wonderland'. He couldn't help but remember that movie he saw with his mother once about a girl who jumped into a rabbit hole and it took her to another world. He laughed as he remembered how he once jumped into a ditch at a construction site once thinking that it would take him to a different world with card soldiers, men in top hats, and fat queens. He didn't get to visit a different world, though he did sprain his ankle.

"Hey, isn't there a fee for entrance?" he asked, noticing no payment booths of any kind.

"Nope, it's free." she said. Which is good for them, because he wouldn't have paid anyways.

She ran back to him and grabbed his hand. He looked down at her and his eyebrow raised a little. "Um, just so we don't get lost." she said. "I'd hate to lose you. It'd be a pain to look for you this crowd . Hold onto Shippou tight, kay?" He nodded and squeezed her hand. It was warm. The warm ball of Shippou on his shoulder used two tiny hands to grip onto Inu Yasha's shirt.

"Which ride do you want to go on?" she asked. He looked around. There were Merry-go-Rounds, carousels, ferris wheels, roller coasters, and flying chair rides. It all looked good in his opinion.

"You-you want me to pick? You can go first. I don't mind." She nodded and smiled, and urged him to pick one. "Umm..." He looked around a second time and a large handsomely lighted ferris wheel caught his eye. "That." he said and pointed at it.

"Oh yay, I like ferris wheels." said Kagome. They stood in line for the ferris wheel and chatted. "I'm excited about the ferris wheel but what I REALLY want to see is the show." said Kagome.

"Show? What show?" he asked.

"The magic show, silly!" she said, as if she expected him to know this kind of stuff. "I can't wait to see what Kieuseru will do this time."

"Kieuseru?" he asked.

"Yes, Kieuseru." she said. "I'm surprised you haven't heard of him before. He is a well known sorcerer, and owner of this fair. He is the one who started it ten years ago."

"That's funny." he said. "I've not heard his name even."

"That would probably be due to your upbringing. Since your mom died so long ago, she probably never introduced you to parts of your demon heritage. You have so much to learn." she said and sighed. "He is well known, but not particularly to humans …"

He raised an eyebrow. "By that I mean demons, and people like that." she said, catching his confusion.

"Then how come you know about him?" he asked, the thought suddenly striking him.

"Inu Yasha ..." she said slowly and softly, as if she thought that if her voice were any louder he would turn around and run for his life. "Would it startle you to know that nobody you see around you is-"

"You two!" a man at the stairs to the ferris wheel shouted. "You guys coming or not!" They turned their heads and ran towards the ferris wheel, uttering their apologies before sitting in the dangling cabin.

"Heh, he looked angry." said Inu Yasha.

"I would be too. We were really holding up the line." he said. Both sat in silence, only occasionly disturbed by Shippou's cries of 'Look at this!' or 'Everything looks so tiny.'

"They all look like ants." said Kagome softly. "I like being high up like this."

"It's nice." he agreed.

"It makes me feel like I'm flying." she said and her eyes glazed over, the way a persons will often do when they are lost in thought. "Everything looks so tiny from up here, and it's like I'm flying. I wish I could do that. It would be so nice. If I could fly then I could just fly away from everything. How convenient would that be?" She turned to him. "I'm sorry for rambling. But the idea of flying has always appealed to me."

"It does seem cool." he said, imagining himself with giant angel wings. Actually, that _was _really cool! The closest thing he had to flight was his long and powerful jump. He supposed that that didn't really qualify for flying. It was more like leaping with grace.

"Really?" she asked. "I told that to someone once and they told me to buy an airline ticket."

He chuckled softly. "That's rude." he said. She nodded in agreement. "I think it's a perfectly good daydream." She smiled and turned around to watch the little ants on the ground scurry from place to place.

After a moment's silence Inu Yasha spoke, "Kagome?" he said shyly.

"Yes?" She turned to him.

"Um … earlier you- you said that, um, no one around here is something. So, I was just wondering … No one around here is-"

Kagome laughed softly and pulled a stray tendril of hair away from her face. She leaned over towards Inu Yasha and sighed as she rested her head ever so lightly against his small shoulder. She grabbed his hand and laced her fingers inbetween his and shook it. For a second she watched as she pulled his hand up and then let her arm drop, and both his and her hands plopped on his lap. She sighed again before replying. "Human."

And he was too shocked to speak. And he wasn't sure if it was because of the information or her head against his shoulder and her hand inside of his.

* * *

"Chicken nuggets, please." 

"Will that be all?"

"Yes, sir."

"Your total is three hundred yen."

Kagome reached into her pocket and pulled out a five hundred yen coin. The man behind the counter handed her a basket of breaded chicken and two hundred yen coins. "Thank you." she said and took the food. Shippou leaned forward on Inu Yasha's shoulder, nearly drooling.

"Chicken chicken chicken!" he chanted. Kagome took out a peice and handed it to him, watching as he contently nibbled at it. "Yummy!" he said and grinned right before licking his chops.

The two teens did not order food. And they weren't in need of it either because they had eaten before when Shippou was busy playing a game.

Kagome sighed and giggled. "What is it Kagome?" asked Inu Yasha, curious as to what it was she was laughing at.

"Oh, nothing, it's just so cute the way he eats!" Inu Yasha squinted an eye. Since when was eating cute? Never mind. "Let's get seats, before all the good ones are taken. I wanna be as close to the stage as possible." She took his hand and Inu Yasha tottered after her. They had managed to find decent seats, around six rows back. They took their seats and Shippou sat on one of Inu Yasha's shoulders.

The stage lights dimmed and a faint red spotlight shone on the empty middle of the stage. Inu Yasha strained his eyes, trying to see something. There was something up on that stage. It was kind of blurry, but it was definitely there. Pretty soon he could make out the outline of a man, appearing on the stage. And in the blink of an eye, there, in the middle of the stage where there was nothing once before, he stood.

His hair was long and dark. It came an inch or two below the nape of his neck and his scraggly bangs came down to his eye brow. He was wearing a dark vest and matching pants. There was something off about him, however. Something that Inu Yasha couldn't exactly put his finger on. He squinted and blinked a couple times and that's when he realized.

This man had no color. His skin was almost white, with the smallest hint of gray. And his hair was the darkest of grays, almost black. The only thing Inu Yasha could identify with the slightest hint of color was the man's eyes. They were a deep violet color. They were so dark that he nearly confused it with a black. His lips smiled, but his eyes did not. He looked happy on the stage, but something looked missing, incomplete about this man. His eyes looked sad and lonely.

Inu Yasha noticed that throughout the show, he often looked down. When he didn't, he rarely glanced over at the crowd. Though the show was magnificent. One man escaped from a brick coffin. One man was put in a basket where many swords were shoved through, but he escaped unscathed. Kieuseru performed that whole disappearing act several times. He enjoyed it, to say the least.

"That was so cool!" Kagome squealed. "I liked the one with the guy and the swords. And Kieuseru is awesome. He kind of flickers through out the whole show. It was actually kind of neat." Inu Yasha nodded. "Should we go on another ride now?" she asked. Shippou gave a list of different rides he wanted to go on.

"And the carousel and the tea cup ride and the race cars and the bean sack throwy thing..." Kagome grabbed him off Inu Yasha's shoulder and walked out through the crowd.

"Come on Inu Yasha." she said and he followed.

* * *

They sat on the park bench, eyes drooping, as they watched Shippou play on a see saw with another boy. "That kid's batteries just never run out do they?" said Kagome wearily. 

"He _is_ full demon." said Inu Yasha. "You must be pretty tired." he said. Kagome nodded and put her head on his shoulder.

"I'm really tired, Yasha." she said drowzily, her mouth unwilling to form his complete name, and closed her eyes.

They had found this small circle of a park in the center of the carnival. And after the carousel, and the tea cup ride, and the race cars, and the bean sack throwy thing, and the merry-go-round, they finally convinced Shippou to let them stop and rest. They had a great time, but were now thoroughly exhausted.

His eyes wandered to the center of the park. A stone angel's back, wings outspread, met his eyes. He had to wonder what the hell it was doing there. This was a children's recreational are right?

Kagome let a small sigh escape as she nestled closer to Inu Yasha's chest. He kept his hands to himself. He liked the way she fit so perfectly on him. Something about it made him remember some cheesy metaphor about people fitting together like two pieces of a puzzle.

"Hey Kagome?" he asked.

"Hm?" she mumbled.

"What did you mean earlier, when you said that nobody here is human?" he asked, almost shakily. He wanted to know the whole entire carnival but he couldn't find the strength to ask her. Something about the information made him feel uneasy on one hand, but somehow, being at this carnival …

He had never felt more at home.

But when she said that _everybody_ at the carnival was not human or at least not fully human) she meant _everyone,_ right? And that included her. But ... what was she?

"Well..." she said drowsily, as she picked her head up. "See that boy over there?" she said. He looked over and saw the boy Shippou was with on the see saw. "He's a bear demon." she said and lifted her head from his shoulder, rubbing her eyes.

"And that woman over there? She is a dragon." Inu Yasha raised an eyebrow and looked over at the woman. She wore a scarf over her head and he noticed that in the light, her skin had a pale green tint to it. "The horn on the back of a dragons head can never go away, even when they transform, so she wears a scarf." He nodded.

"Oh." he said, taking it all in. This shouldn't be too hard for him to hear, after all, he wasn't human either. "I thought stuff like this was only in fairytales?"

"Hm, oh no, they're as real as demons like you Inu Yasha." she said. "Less common of course, and not as open to share what they are. Then again … I don't suppose hiding the fact you are half demon is an option?"

"No … it isn't." he said softly, before quickly changing the subject. "What about him?" he said, pointing to a man in a purple tuxedo.

"Vampire." she said.

"I thought they had real pale skin." he said. He pulled his legs up and sat cross legged, facing her. She did the same.

"The malnourished ones do." she replied and tilted her head to the side.

**Note to self:** _Stay away from vampire man. _

"I didn't know stuff like this even existed anymore."he said

I didn't know stuff like this even anymore." he said. 

"Inhumanity is a dying race of people. Most were killed years ago. Dragons were killed for their horns, which contain a huge amount of magic, vampires were killed for their fangs, demons would be killed for their pelts." she said and cleared her throat. "Sorcerers were murdered because of assumed association with Satan. The hunters and the huntees became established and soon, all inhumans were forced to go into hiding and keep human forms to survive."

He turned his head to the side. "That's why you hardly ever see any half demons, they don't have the power to assume a fully human form." she told him. "Most are killed." she admitted bitterly. "The ones that survive it through birth and childhood don't live long."

He swallowed and continued. "That ... is the strangest thing I've ever heard." he said, staring dumbly at her. And to think all this time he assumed anyone without dog ears was human. "I never knew there were so many." he said.

"Well, considering that this is all there is out of the entire Japan, it's not that much." she said. He guessed that there was at least three hundred people here. Out of seventy million, that's not so many. Not so many at all.

**__**

Author's notes

**YOKU **_equals _**greed** (Hence his role in last chapter.)

**THE SECRET'S OUT!**The cats out of the wet paper bag I put it in! (How could I do that?) Kagome is indeed not _human. _But you wont learn more about her till later ... later whenI figure out what she really is. o ... o

**INU KUN, THE LEMON LADY.** Lime content next chapter! Its heavy to me at least. Then again I only have written twoor threekisses in my whole time writing. I try to avoid them, but some things cant be avoided, sigh. I fucking hate writing romance ... gr. It's so embarrasing. Well, it's necessary for the story. :groan:

**REVIEW RESPONSES**

**LukeShaehl-** You:points: You're that guy who told Sleepwalking Chicken that you weren't gonna read her story anymore because one of the characters was bisexual! I may not care about much, but I love that story, so if you cant read it because of some stupid homophobe thing then harumph to you good sir. YOU don't know what you're missing out on.

LukeShaehl  
2005-07-03  
ch 24, signed

Hmm, the only thing I don't like about this story is how Inuyasha is pansy and way to nice. It's nothing like the actual Inuyasha character and there really isn't any basis for it in your story either. If anything he should be even more rude, short-tempered, closed off and jaded than he is in the show. Plus, being fifteen he should definately be able to take care of his father by now. In the anime, he was only somewhere between 16 and 18 I believe and he was already killing demons and hunting Naraku. So one drunken human shouldn't be able to overpower him.

Anyways, your review was … bothersome. It was nothing more than an uneducated and unsupported ramble that actually holds NO truth WHATSOEVER.

Let me clarify, **AU **and** OOC **mean that my characters don't have to resemble the ones created by Rumiko Takahashi. So, in summation, anime Inu Yasha and AFILAW Inu Yasha are **NOT THE SAME PERSON.** Okay? Got it? I don't give a crap about what the hell the ANIME Inu Yasha does or how many stupid demons he kills because you know what? That's irrelevant and I already know plenty about the original Inu Yasha. This story is different!

So, Inu Yasha is a pansy huh? And of course YOU should know more about MY characters and MY story more than I do right? And of course that makes sense. He's only been beaten to near death on several occasions and grown up with a man who not only treats him with disrespect and hate, but also enjoys inflicting physical PAIN on him. Oh yeah, not to mention the man is his FATHER. Geez, the fucking pansy, I can't believe he hasn't just moved on.

Of course, the fact he is weak physically has absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact that he's been nearly STARVED for months at a time and is lucky to find a decent meal every once in a while. God, the little runt, I cant believe he isn't just going to go and stab his father to death with the kitchen knife! Yeah, right, because he ACTUALLY holds the ability to do something like that.

And yes, he SHOULD be angry and jaded and rude and mean to everyone, because that's what happens to EVERY SINGLE FUCKING HUMAN BEING ON THE PLANET when they get teased or mistreated. Just so you know, not every one reacts the same way to pain. Some people run from it, some cut off emotion, and some people try to act mean like original Inu Yasha so that they might scare people away from them because they would rather be hated than made fun of.

But MY Inu Yasha is not like that. AFILAW Inu Yasha is a more fragile boy you see? He was raised only knowing that he was worth **_nothing._** And in his mind, he almost kind of thinks he deserves the horrible treatment he gets. Unlike the angry Inu Yasha in the show, he is more of a sad person. In fact he feels horribly uncomfortable being angry. Havent you noticed the treatment he gets when he tries to rebel? He gets hurt WORSE so no duh he's going to try to submit as much as possible.

Anyways, the moral of the rant is this. You. Know. Nothing. About. MY. Characters. So don't you judge them!

:giggles: Hee hee! I yelled! I feel better now:runs off giggling and throwing flowers: Whe! Sorry for sounding mean. I just cant stand when people say 'well, Inu Yasha in the anime does THIS AND blah blah blah!' Damned people can't understand what AU and OOC means. Geezis.

**Kaostheory-** Well, flashbacks are necessary for this story so if you don't like them then I really suggest you don't read. There'll be a lot more to come. And I can not relay the names of the parents due to the fact that I may need to keep them secret for further plot uses.

**Sleepwalking Chicken- **Sacre blu! XP You just reminded me of something I have to do! Gasps! It wont happen till the very end of the story, but theres a part I need to write. I luff you! Myehe. I have a real cool idea for BG fanart ... more Naraku arts of course ... cause I luff him too. :hugs him:

**Invisible1withnofaith- **Whooooaaa… :head spins: If I could make swirly eyes, I would do just that.

**Next chapter:** _Kieuseru_

_:Wink, wink:_


	26. Kieuseru

**__**

All's Fair in Love and War

Chapter Twenty Five

Kieuseru  


**:---:  
**_  
If you knew all that I knew, my poor Jerusalem, you'd see the truth, but you close your eyes. But you close your eyes. While you live, your troubles are many, my poor Jerusalem. To conquer death, you only have to die. You only have to die.'  
_****

:---:

_His hands made their way down her taut lean back, fingers taking in all the sensations. The warm skin on his fingers never seemed more appealing. Everything seemed so exaggerated, but in a good way. _

She leaned down and kissed him, shifting again, inbetween their heavy breaths. They turned over and he dragged kisses lazily down her chest, lips feeling soft flesh. He brought his head up to her neck and chewed ever so lightly. She pushed her cheek closer to his and kissed it. They pulled apart and she pressed her lips to his once more, locking together again for a moment.  
_  
She pressed her face close to his. Both lay still for a while, and only their thick breathing could be heard. She looked into his violet eyes. I love you, Kie. she said, softly._  
_  
He smiled and wove his hand up her back, taking a soft strand of hair and twirling it between his fingers. She looked up at him, her eyes begging him to speak the words she lived for. I love you too. he said._ _The corners of her mouth lifted up and she snuggled closer to him, sighing in relief._

I was afraid at first, to tell you that. she said, and nuzzled his chest with her cheek.

And why would that be? he asked softly, pulling another strand between his fingers.

I didn't know what you'd say. she said.

You don't know enough. he chided. She grinned and laughed softly. Rolling over, she stretched her tired limbs.

What time is it? she asked and yawned.

Two forty six, why? he asked.

she squealed. I have to pick up my kid! I can't believe I'm gonna be late. she mentally slapped herself for not remebering before. How could she get so wrapped up in business' while her little baby is probably sitting and waiting for her somewhere in some loading dock? God damnit. she cursed, pulling a pair of blue jeans on. She slid on her bra and threw on a t-shirt. I gotta go. she said, smiling weakly. First day, you know? she said and clicked open the lock on the door. He sat up and the sheets slid down his chest.

It's okay. he said and grinned in return. I understand. See you later. He waved from his position on the matress. She smiled warmly and walked out of the door.  
**  
:---:**

What about that guy? he asked, pointing to a spectral looking figure. 

A Shade. she said. People who have committed horrible crimes in life. He put two and to together. That meant they were dead. Ick. _See through floating dead guys.'_

So they are basically ghosts, right? he asked.

That's the name you would be familiar with. she said and rubbed her eye. She wrapped her arms around herself and rubbed her arms to warm them from the slight chill of the night. A slight wind ran by and tussled her dark black hair.

Um, and that Kieuseru guy, he is a shade too right? he asked shyly, noticing the resemblance of loss of color. This man was completely black and white as well. He did that flickering thing too, just like the strange purple eyed man. And like Keiuseru, his eyes were the only thing that had color. They were a dark chestnut brown.

she said.

What did he do? he asked. He figured that if anyone would know, it would be Kagome.

Hm, I don't really know. she said and shrugged. Okay, maybe she doesn't know _everything. _You should ask him. she said and pointed to the monolithic angel statue in the center of the park. Inu Yasha turned and looked at the statue. Nothing.

Shippou called. I have to go! he said, clutching at his groin. She chuckled.

Go where, Honey? she taunted melodically.

he squeaked. He did his version of the restroom dance and bit his lip. Inu Yasha supressed laughter at the, though still the same, but much wigglier Shippou.

I'm gonna take him to the bathroom. Wait for me? she said.

Got nothing else to do. he said, looking up at her and half-grinning. She smiled and waved, taking the bouncy Shippou's hand and walking away. He stood up and stretched his legs out. Sitting for so long can make you sore. He arched his back backwards, opposite of how a cat stretches, and placed his hands on his small waist as he stretched.

He walked over to the concrete angel in the middle of the park and looked around. Kagome pointed in this direction when she told him to ask the purple eyed man about why he was a shadowy-ghosty thing, whatever the hell they were. _Can't see anything. Damn.'_ He saw little kids frolicking and adults watching them- or not watching them, but no Kieuseru. 

He sighed, ready to return to the bench and wait for Kagome when something caught his ear. Music? Another soft note hit his ears, and he strained to hear it over the din. He flicked his ear in the direction it was coming from and strained to hear. _That sounds weirdly familiar.'_ he decided. He knew that song, but how? Was that some kind of spooky incantation? It sounded so familiar, he thought to link it to wherever it was he heard it from before.

Nothing._ Why is it I can never remember these things?'_ he wondered silently. This happened before, at Kagome's. Of course! That was where it came from! Kagome was singing that song as well, the one he remebered from somewhere else. Why would they both know the same song? He never heard it on the radio before. Coincidence? Probably. He had to admit, that song was pretty amazing. Every time he heard it, he felt calm and safe. It had this weird effect on him, but he liked it. It made him feel like he felt with Kagome. Safe and happy.

Now that that was out of the way, only one thing to clarify. Who was singing the song? He swore, if it was the angel statue ... He had had enough drama for the night.

He walked to the front of the statue and looked up at the statue's face. To his relief, the angel statue wasn't singing. _Thank god, that would have just been too weird.' _He had kind of expected it to be the statue. For some reason, after finding out that every person he had seen tonight wasn't even human, nothing seemed impossible. He shrugged his shoulders and grunted, he still didn't know who the hell was singing. And when anyone is as tired and worn out as Inu Yasha was, they wouldn't really care less.

He continued to stare at the angel's face. There was something weird about it. Its eyes were different from the rest of its face, like there as something liquid about them. They rippled. He squinted and traced the ripple away from its face. There was something on the angel's wing. 

Kieuseru. The man seemingly flickered into existance, like he had done at the show. Inu Yasha, though thoroughly frightened out of his skin, half-smiled despite it. Hi there. he said and flicked his wrist. The man removed his head from it's resting position on the statue's upturned face. He grinned unhappily and waved at Inu Yasha. Inu Yasha leapt up and landed gracefully on the angel's other wing, wavering slightly as he regained his balance. He sat down and looked at the stranger.

Nice jump. Dog demon? he said, obviously already familiarized with the ears on his head.

Thank you, and half. he said. The man nodded. He looked over at Inu Yasha and stared at him. The stare was intense and awkward, and the easily flustered Inu Yasha turned away and grinned in a dopey way at the man, hoping to lighten the mood. The dead don't get embarrased, nor do they blush. Neither did this man.

You remind me of someone I knew. he said, suddenly as he continued to study Inu Yasha's face and hair. Then his ears and golden eyes.

he asked, curiously.

he said. You look like her. What's your name? Kieuseru's voice was slow and drawn out. He lacked enthusiasm and was border line monotone. His voice was, for the most part, devoid of emotion, but not empty and drained. There was still something human about the way he spoke, like a little person that was whispering something far away. But aside for the small bit of human softness that occasionally flickered past Inu Yasha's ear, his voice was, for the most part, rather hollow.

Inu Yasha. he said and bowed his head politely.

For the first time, the man's eyes glazed over with a strange expression. It was like confusion and happiness and bitterness all mushed together. The man's stunning violet eyes widened. Inu Yasha, so it's you. he said, as if they were friends, and this was just a coincidental run-in. No wonder. Nice to meet you. the small tinge of human emotion in the mans voice rose the slightest. It now held a small pleasant ring. The man smiled.

You have a weird smile. Inu Yasha said. You smile with your face, but not your eyes. he said, examining the man's deep purple eyes. The turbulent violet eyes narrowed as the man raised an eyebrow.

Nobody's ever said that before. he said. Why would you notice that? The steady rhythm of the man's dull voice sharpened at a few notes and he seemed truly interested

Hm, your eyes do have a certain pull. The purple stands out from the grey. he said. The man looked down at one of his hands, turning his wrist and examining the ground below through it with a sad laugh.

Ah, one of the down sides to being ... me. he said and laughed bitterly once more.

Being you? he asked curiously.

Being what I am. he said, assuming the boy knew. He was at the man's carnival after all. He should be familiar with shades.

Oh, you mean a um ... a ghost? the boy asked shyly, looking out from under his bangs and flashing a tiny nervous smile.

The man's stone face flinched and he nodded. he verified.

Why are you ... um ... what you are. My friend tells me that a shade is a punishment. he said, shyly, a sheepish blush decorating his face. Y-you seem so nice ... I thought that someone being punished like um, like you are would have to be really awful too. He looked down at his fingers which he continually attempted to tie in knots.

You want to know? He raised his eyebrows. You have some guts kid. Nobody's ever asked me that. he said. Well, I suppose, if you want to know. He paused. I think that you should know. Who knows, information like this might come in handy. I fell in love with a woman. he said and his eyes glazed with that thoughtful look.

That's bad? he asked. Then the world's just full of sinners isn't it?

No, love isn't bad. Love itself is harmless. It's what people do because of it that's bad. Inu Yasha, I hurt someone. I hurt someone so bad that they broke. They'll never be the same again. I shouldn't have gotten involved ... I knew what consequences my actions would bring but ... I just didn't think that ... the man trailed off. The monotone of his voice had all but faded as he got to the final that' and a raw kind of emotion was very obvious in his tone. His voice was full of sorrow. Inu Yasha assumed this must be close to what the man's voce in life must have been like. He had a very nice voice. It was deep and smooth. In a way, listening to him now, it almost sounded like someone was crying. And maybe, had he been a bit happier, his voice would be like someone singing.

Well, if you fell in love with her, then how are you guilty of that? he asked.

Some things can't be explained, little boy. he said. I did what I did. I loved someone with all my heart and paid the price. Maybe I was stupid for picking somone like her, I don't know. But do I have any regret for doing so? No. Never. She's the most important thing to me, Inu Yasha. Maybe if you ever have the chance to, you'll tell her that.What ... what's her name? he asked softly.

Though I don't think I'm as severely punished as her. he said, sadly. Whether or not he didn't hear Inu Yasha or if he was ignoring the child wasn't clear. I wish I would have been punished instead of her, it wasn't her fault. He treated her horribly. I would have married her but- he sighed. His eyes flashed with a certain sadness, one that Inu Yasha had not seen before. The man looked so heartbroken.

OI! Inu Yasha! Kagome called. He turned his head to her and smiled. What are you doing up there? she asked.

Oh, I was just- he turned to his side to find that Kieuseru had pulled his disappearing act again. Um, he was here just a second ago. he said, and hopped down from the angel's wing. 

That's a weird statue. said Shippou, who then yawned and patted his mouth.

Hm, I suppose it is a pretty strange thing to have in a childrens area. said Kagome. But I like it. Just look at the detail in the wings! she said and ran her fingers across a part of the wing. It's a beautiful statue. 

What a pretty angel. said Inu Yasha thoughtfully. Um, wanna go home now? he asked, eyeing his sleepy companions. They nodded. Good, I'm tired.I'll call my mom. She's probably on her way here anyways. said Kagome, pulling out a cell phone.

Shippou tottered over to Inu Yasha and fell against his leg. He carefully scooped up the half asleep boy and cradled him in his arms like a baby.

**_Author's Notes_**

**I am blushing.  
**  
That was so zesty! Are you not intimidated by my sex scenes? That scene will make a lot more sense later on in the plot, but if you are a good reader, it might make sense now. Ya never know. By the way, I imagine the guitar part of I hate Everything About You' playing while I read that part. I lub that guitar part.

Kieuseru may seem kind of stupid and pointless but he's actually a really important character. He's an OC (Oh my god, my first OC.) and you know what that means? HE'S MINE, BITCHES. I kind of like him and his coolness. He's a pretty neat character. I might be tempted to draw a fanart of him. Omigod, his eyes are purple. How fuckin cool, huh? Why are they purple? Why the hell should I know? Its cause I say so and I like violet eyes. Mmm, pretty.

**Try to guess who the two people were! **(At least one of em should be_ rather_ obvious.)

Loves ya'll! Reviews please and thank you!


	27. Were it Not for Pain

**DEDICATED-** This chapter is dedicated to my friend and favorite writer in the world, (She's tough competition for Poe, but he's dead.) Miss Sleepwalking Chicken and HAP. Were it not for her comments, criticism, and support for this story, my attention span would have run out long long ago and I would be working on (oh god) Broken Thunder. (gags self with spork) Had she not answered my request a year and so ago, and read this story, I doubt that this story would be anything close to what it is now

And had I not the incredible urge to impress her and (cough controlhermindandstealherstoryideasoutofherhead cough) ... become her ... buddy this story would be utter and complete SHIT. So if you enjoy this story, a large hunk of appreciation should be laid on the pimpin shoulder of Picken. Thanks so much for your reviews and support Picken. Not to mention ... she's the ONLY person who reviewed EVERY single chapter of this story. Wow. You're so generous, Picken! I must run off to a corner and sob joyfully.

I think this is one of my more favorite chapters and one that most of you will melt over so I decided to dedicate it to her. Because its a special chapter to me ... and now its gonna be one for her whether she likes it or not. Mwahaha. Enjoy.

**_All's Fair in Love and War_**

Chapter Twenty Six

Were it Not For Pain

The moon looks so pretty tonight. said Inu Yasha abruptly, as he stared into the sky. The bright orb he mentioned, a waning gibbous, was glowing a pale grey-yellow and the surrounding clouds were illuminated with its reflected light. The largely unpopulated area she lived in provided him with an excellent oppurtunity to star gaze with Kagome, warm and tired, breathing lightly, laying down aside him.

He pulled a silver strand, illuminated by the moon out of his face and tucked it under his head. He re-adjusted the pillow under his head, feeling his knuckles rap against the shingles of the roof. Kagome lay next to him on her side, body slightly curled in towards itself. Her eyes were shut and she looked asleep, but she wasnt. Every so often, he would have to poke her shouder to keep her that way. He didn't want her to fall asleep yet. Even if they weren't talking, he liked knowing that she was aware he was with her.

She inched closer to him, knees slightly touching the fabric of his pants. He turned his head, which rested upon his joint palms. He pulled his elbow in and turned towards her, pushing away the strand of hair that fell over her face. He much preferred to see her face. She crinkled her nose at the hair that moved across her face and smiled.

It is pretty... she managed to mumble, though it was far from understandable.

Her mom had driven them home and Shippou fell asleep in the car, so he just put him in Kagome's room. They decided they wanted to stay up a little more, so she pulled him out to a flat part of the roof of her house. There was an area that was flatter than the others, so there they both lay, a blanket covering both their bodies, and a single pillow under each of their heads that was shared between the two. He enjoyed just lying there. Something about it made him feel so relaxed and happy.

Even with the addition of Shippou to his house, that slight feeling of paranoia never really left him. He always crouched down at any sudden movement of noise, always flinched when something startled him, always covered his face when somebody raised their hand threateningly. He remembered one time, when him and Kagome and Sango and Miroku were playing around after school, he made a joke and Sango feigned to slap him.

_Inu Yasha!' she squealed and raised her hand over his head. His eyes widened and he curled his head in, raising his arms over his head. The laughter died down in the group as they stared at Inu Yasha, cowering down. The thick silence blanketed the once light hearted moment and Inu Yasha peeked through his fingers before quickly pulling his arms to his side, looking down and blushing._

Inu Yasha? Kagome inquired. You okay? she asked.

He quickly straightened back to his original position, correcting the strange cringe his spine had acquired. Oh, sorry, it's nothing. he mumbled quietly. 

After all the abuse, he had developed a reflex to any kind of physical threat. He couldn't even realize that he was doing it anymore, it was like an instinct.

Kagome sighed and he felt her breath against his skin. The warm breath on his skin disappeared, now replaced by the rigid night air. Then, the warm breath returned, and his skin turned to gooseflesh. He inhaled again and closed his eyes, opening them every once in a while to keep awake.

Kagome had always given him this strange feeling. He couldn't exactly put a name on it, but it was this warm comfortable feeling. Something about her made him feel like it was all going to be okay. Like he would take a thousand of his fathers beatings if it meant he could see her smile again. She had given him hope, inspiration. Every so often he would wonder what things would be like if she hadn't been there for him to fall back on.

What would he be like? Would he still be afraid, or lonely? Would he still believe in tomorrow? Would things have ever gotten as good as they were now? No. He couldn't imagine a life without her. He was strange to this feeling. Dependency was not something he was used to. The last person he could say he really depended on was his mother. And look at her now. She was dead somewhere, and he didn't even know where.

He turned on his side and stared at the girl that lay on her side, breathing lightly and looking so innocent in her sleep. Raven bangs covered her forehead and pink lips lagged to the side, pouting ever so slightly. The moon reflected off of her skin and made her illuminate with a certian shine that the sunshine could not bring out in her. 

Who - or rather, what- was this girl? This strange and rather- to him at least- beautiful person? She had changed his life in a matter of months and looking back at himself in the beginning of the year and now- he wasn't sure of who he even was, what he was, or why he existed before, if all life meant was to be by her side and to see her smile. Yes, that was life, and a good one. Kagome. Was she all he needed? Of course not. No, Kagome was not all he needed, but ne didn't need her any less than he needed to breath, than he needed to eat and sit in his tree after the school hours waned away. 

The plain and simple fact is that she was neccesary.

Hey Kagome? he said softly, though loudly enough to rouse her from her sleep. She opened one eye.

she grunted in reply.

What's your favorite color? he asked.

The sky was thick black by now, dabbed by the occasional star or two, and every once in a while a dark grey cloud would float past the moon in the sky. Everything else was just black by now. The lights in the lightly populated neighborhood were all out, and the rooftops of the houses were black as the rest of the night. He could only see her. But he liked it that way. Her one aqua eye looked at him, though it was half lidded and looked quite tired.

She laughed softly. And why do you want to know that? That was certaintly random.

I don't know ... Um, I'm bored. And I don't want you to fall asleep yet. He said it softly and his voice reminded her of a child asking to be put to bed. S-so ...? he prodded shyly.

Well, since you persist, it is Cerulean Blue. she said, caving in to the soft and undeniably adorable way he asked her. She could have sworn that any moment now he would ask her to sing him a song and tell him a story and kiss him good night.

What is that? he asked

It's a real pretty cross of blue with a small dab of green. Its nice and dark, but really pretty. Kind of like the color of the ocean once you hit really deep water. she said. What's yours? she asked.

Well I don't really know. No one has ever asked me. he said. I guess I like red. He supposed he liked red the best. He looked pretty good in the haori that her mother had given to him and it was red.

She laughed. I like red too. she said. But blue still kicks its ass.Oh, keh. You go now, ask something. he said.

She looked around and thought for a moment. If you could have any disability, what would you choose? she asked.

Let's see. he thought hard for a while and then looked at her. Can't I just be normal? I could have um ... a missing toe or something.

Kagome giggled. No, come on! Pick something! She said playfully.

His little boyish grin flattened out as he exhaled and he tapped his fingers on the roof shingles as he thought. I would want to be numb. he said. The world around them was dark, but he was close enough to her to see the look of enstrangement that crossed her blue eyes.

Inu Yasha, why? she asked, and leaned closer, so that their nose tips were only a few inches apart. Her voice sounded strangely erious in contrast to the former light hearted conversation.

Because... If I was numb, then I wouldn't have to feel pain. If someone hurt me, it wouldn't _hurt_. It wouldn't matter and I wouldn't care. If I was numb, then pain wouldn't stop me. No one could hurt me. he said. A thick silence blanketed them before Kagome opened her mouth.

Who would hurt you Inu Yasha? she asked. Her words were soft, and she spoke them in a fearful way, a very quieted way, unlike the Kagome he knew. It almost sounded like she was afraid that if she spoke them any louder, the words would hurt him. She looked down when she said them but he heard her loud and clear. An ear shattering silence engulfed them, and neither could find the strength to look at the others eye. Kagome was the first to speak.

I mean, I don't think that I like being sad too much, but ... There are so many other things to feel, so many beautiful things. And the things that feel good far outshadow the things that are bad. Pain fades in the face of things like happiness, or pride, or ... love.

And ... and even if something hurt a lot, a whole lot, as long as we survived it ... It would make us stronger, wouldn't it? I think it should but ... But some things are too painful, I think. And if we aren't made stronger by things that hurt then we ... we would die. But that's how it works I guess. When the stress is not enough to break us then we are made better. And that's how we all get by. Those things that used to hurt us eventually stop hurting and they become a part of us. We are made deeper and after bitterness, sweet feelings of joy, that once seemed so far away, feel that much more amazing.

But joy would not feel so good if it were not for pain. And until we fear we can lose it, we can not truly love being happy. Because we take things for granted when we rely on them. People take for granted that they are not sick, that they are not starving, that they are not dead. I mean, just being able to sit here right now with you, that's contentment in itself. Even though we don't like to go through tragedy ... we don't like to lose things, we want to be able to have stability on something, knowing all too well at the same time that everything in this world is constantly changing ... It would defeat the purpose of being human if we couldn't feel those things.

He was taken aback. Kagome spoke like a shy child woud to an adult the entire time. Her voice seemed to take on a life of it's own. It would start strong, the fade and flicker, dancing around before stopping completely, occasionally tripping. And although he had never told her anything about his father- no, he wouldn't dare burden her with that- everything she just said shot him straight through the heart.

What would one say to something like that? What _was_ there to say?

Kagome had said it all.

**_Author's Notes  
_**_  
Fanfiction dt net no longer allows me to reply directly to your comments, so I will have to put the responses disguised in the author's notes, forcing you to read them. Mwahaha.****_

A bit of news- My mom's computer is broken and that means that for one, Fingertips' last chapter won't be uploaded till the computer gets back on the net, and secondly AFILAW updates will be slowed to about every other week or week and a half. Also, I have a tendency to get grounded.**__**

Wow, you guys had a lot of interesting thoughts as to who the two people are. Most said it was Kieu and Inu's mommy. One person said it was Kagome's mom, which was kind of cool having another opinion. I mean, if you think about it, Kieuseru could have been involved with both of them. Think about it. The woman obviously had a child and most of you were quick to think Inu Yasha but hey, both Kagome and Inu Yasha have mothers, so you never know. I may be leading you on, and I may just be leading you off now because you were right but hell, you never know. I mean, how do you even know that the woman he is involved with is someone you've met so far? (giggles)

Anyone still curious as to Kagome's um ... species or whatever the hell word I should have used there?

Well, chapter 25 holds the record of amount of reviews recieved in a chapter seeing as 47 people reviewed it! Yaay! I feel loved! Hugs and oreos for everyone! (I'm trying to lose ten pounds so I can't eat them. -Sob-)

Please review!

(Short chapter coming up next. I apologize ahead of time.)


	28. Anything in the World

**_All's Fair in Love and War_**

Chapter Twenty Seven

_Anything In the World  
_

Inu Yasha felt her words from the bottom of his heart. He felt like he understood everything she said completely. After all he had been through, being able to eat dinner was a huge luxury. He bet no one else thought that. But he did. Having friends, eating food once in a while, being with his Kagome, that was all he needed. That was all he got. And he was happy.

Kagome giggled and cupped her hands over her mouth as the bubbly girlish laugh escaped her lips, still slightly pink from faded lip stick. As she propped her head up in her cupped hands she let out a sigh and looked upwards toward the sky. Sometimes I think we're just put here to be completely and utterly confused. he started, and then cleared his throat as he stuttered. He looked towards her and their eyes locked. I'm not human. she said, her eyes widening in curiousity as she eyed him.

You said it would defeat the purpose of being human if we could not feel those things. I am not human. he said his voice flickering like a dying light.

Are you really Inu Yasha? she asked rhetorically. Your ears aren't human, your claws and fangs aren't human, and your eyes aren't normal either, but you are a half breed. And I know that means that half of you is human. No difference though. she said, dismissing the matter.

Well, if you were a full human or full demon, you would still have to go through the same thing all us _normal _ humans go through. she said and exaggerated the word normal to prove that she was kidding. It almost stung him a llittle though, coming from her. Though, according to her, she was no normal human. He'd have to ask her about that later.

But. I'm ... I don't know what I am. I'm different Kagome. I'm not human and I'm not demon either, I'm ... He couldn't find words to phrase his sentence. He stuttered and murmured until he eventually came to a stop.

It's not so bad being different you know? she said. Because then you get to meet a lot of other different people. That's not to say that everyone is the same though. I mean, I suppose the easiest way to explain this would be ... Okay look, lets pretend that all humans are the color blue, and all demons are the color red, right? Well, if you mix them together, you get purple. And even though it's a mixture of both colors, purple isn't red, and it isn't blue. It's its own color. Youre your own person Inu Yasha, and there's not a single person out there like you. You're lucky. She finished firmly and left no oppurtunity for argument on Inu Yasha's part. Lucky like me. Smiled and reached her hand out towards him, stroking his bangs backwards so that the tips touched his flat ears. When she pulled away, the hair fell messily upon his forehead.

She then pulled a strand of hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear as she pulled the comforter closer to her and inched nearer to Inu Yasha. She was close enough, but far enough; close enough to him to hear his soft heartbeat, but far enough from him where no part of her was touching him. And he shivered in a rush of merriment as she inched nearer. He lifted his own hand to his chest so that he could feel her warm breath on his fingers. She closed her eyes and exhaled heavily out of her mouth.

The moment of comfortable silence lingered between the two. Neither knew how long. Time loses its importance when people are happy as Inu Yasha was in that moment. Inu Yasha put his head down on the large shared pillow and closed his eyes. They did not stay closed though. He opened them every once in a while to look at Kagome's tired face. 

What would you choose? he finally asked, once the question came to his slow and tired mind.

she said sleepily and curled inwards more. Her knee bumped his leg and he shook.

If you had to be handicapped? What would you choose? he repeated for his exhausted friend.

Me? I'd be mentally retarded. she said. He cracked a small laugh.

Mentally retarded! he snickered, half way amused at her comment. Why in the hells would you want to be that?Well, I know how bad it sounds, but if I was like that it wouldn't be so bad. I mean sure, people would make fun of you and you would never really be able to live a normal life, but just think of how good it would be! she said, sounding almost excited.

Kagome. No offense or anything, but I don't think that that sounds so fun. I mean, you'd never be able to really live. he said.

Plenty of people who aren't mentally challenged don't really live either. she said.

She had a point. Perfect example? His father. No offense to him, but binge drinking and watching bad daytime television is no way of living.

Even if someone were made fun of, and different and completely incapable of anything, then they wouldn't have to go through that pain because they wouldn't understand. They wouldn't be expected to do anything. They could just sit there and be content and they wouldn't really care. she said. Just think of being five years old our whole life: free of responsibilities and stress and ... homework. It sounds quite fun to me.

Personally, Inu Yasha really wouldn't want to be five for the rest of his life. He thought that perhaps he would like to be fifteen for the rest of his life. Away from his father during the day, let free to chat with Kagome, Miroku, and Sango and go to her house every once in a while for her mother's delicious cooking. 

Five was not a good year for him. His mother died. His mother, the only person he trusted and loved in the entire world. The only one that showed him the same love and trust. His abuse started. His whole life, it had only been neglect. He had no distant memories of hugs from his father. Not one. He never seemed to remember a time when his father seemed proud. Nothing was ever good enough for him. He remembered him smiling at the child once, but by now, he had forgotten what that was for. The abuse started off slowly.

Of course it started slowly. At first its just a spank, a push, a small painless cuff on the hand. When he was little, there were no razors, no hunger, no red blood on the floor, spilling from his body. There were no icy hateful stares, no broken glass laying on the floor from a drunken rage. Not that he remembered.

He moved from the only house he had known and he was not able to have a decent conversation with his father, nor was he able to murmur anything other than 'hi' after the strange disappearence of his mother.

You realize that that completely contradicts everything else you just said. he told her.

Hm, you're right. she said, not really minding. But if someone were mentally retarded they could still feel, they just wouldn't be sad as often as some one who was completely aware. she told him. There _is _ a difference. You know what people say, 'Ignorance is bliss.' Right?Um, sure, but ... Augh, I'll just ask a question. He thought for a moment before asking If you could have one thing in the world right now, what would it be?Well ... I'd ... she thought for a second, before answering. I'd want to know your answer to that same question. She paused before adding, I'd also want to see you smile.

He blushed then applied his normal awkward smile, but not because he chose to. She looked at him and laughed. Come on Inu Yasha! You look more scared than happy! she chided. 

Well, I - I am happy! What do I _look_ like? Is there something wrong with my smile? he asked and scowled at her, his pink cheeks hidden by the dark night for the most part.

No. you just don't look happy. she said and grinned for no real reason _You look embarrassed, that's what you look like.' _He sighed and rolled his eyes.

Can't you just answer the question? he asked and made a pouting face which Kagome inwardly flushed over.

I already did, now it's your turn. she said and poked a playful finger at his chest..

That answer doesn't count. he huffed. You have to tell me another one.Fine, just ... give me some time or something. she said. Now tell me yours!If I could have anything in the world right now? Well, I would just want what I have. I mean, I have you and Shippou, and that tree at school. And then there's Sango and Miroku and my sketchbook. He paused. My sketchbook which is getting quite full. I'd ask for a new sketchbook. he said.

You know what else I'd ask for? she asked rhetorically. she said before he could reply. With that she closed her eyes and pulled herself into a slightly curled ball. He watched and listened as her breathing became slower and he even heard the heart inside of her chest slow it's pace. Rolling over, he looked up at the sky and sighed, just happy he could be here, right now.

Come to think of it, should he have the chance to get anything in the world right now, he'd wish for a clock to stop time, so he could stay here forever. Then he would never have to feel another of his father's beatings, he wouldn't have to stay up until the wee hours of the morning nursing wounds or doing homework. He would just lay here forever, with Kagome and his book by his side, and Shippou only a minute away, safe and sound in Kagome's bed, dreaming. He mused on the subject in a daze. He imagined what life would be like had not had a father like his. Hm, maybe he would have more friends? Maybe he'd be less afraid and like himself more? Would he still look the same? Hm ...

he said softly. No response. She only continued her small breaths. She breathed very quietly, he realized. She was sleeping, he supposed. She really _was _tired.

He curled his legs in and his knees hit hers. Slowly, as if moving too fast would wake her, he inched forward, her forehead pressed against his, and tenatively put an inconfident hand on her neck. He was so _close._ So _near._ Kagome felt so soft and warm on his hand, like that single touch upon her neck sent warm fire through his veins. He felt alive and real, yet unreal at the same time. She didn't feel like the person he regarded her as. Some how in sleep, she was just this small creature, just a small Kagome. It had been a long time since he had been so near to another human and he couldn't deny that he enjoyed this guilty pleasure. He just couldn't shake the feeling, no matter how chaste the actions, hat he was taking advantage of her, though.

He held his breath and didn't move after that becuse he was afraid the slightest movement would wake the dreaming girl. He did not stare at her face, oh heavens, of course not at her face, but instead his attention focused towards the shingles on the roof under her chin. His hand tingled and his heart was pounding in his chest, gushing his blood faster and faster.

He lay this near to her for only a moment though. Just for a small moment. And then he let her go. He pulled away and she smiled in her sleep and pulled the blanket in towards her, sighing.

Good night Kagome. Sleep tight. He pulled the blanket back over her body and turned away from her. She curled herself into a tighter circle and let out another high pitched breath.

Nighty night Inu Yasha. she mumbled. 

Inu Yasha turned pink.

**_Author's Notes _(Read them, they're important.)  
**  
**Why This Chapter is Late: **Well Katrina, the bitch of a hurricane, came and knnocked down my internet connection. Gr. So I had no computer for a long time. I'm so sorry but this is the first chance I have had to update this story. (Or any oher story for that matter.)

This story is getting WAY too squishy. Don't get confused. Everybody needs a hug sometimes right? And Inu Yasha really hasn't had a good hug in a long time.__

Not much has happened in the life of an Inu Kun except some asshole actually had the nerve to review me and tell me not to read my OWN story. Like, what the fuck? They said it was the worst story they had ever read, and didn't even bother to sign in. Oh well, they did read every chapter. :shrug: 

And **Moovache** brought up a point I thought I should clear up. The sorceress they referred to (Um, I think it was Kieuseru they were talkin about. But he's a guy. And I never said he was a sorceror.) did NOT recognize Inu Yasha. No, he did not know who he was, and Kagome only knows who he is because she went to the carnival thing ten years ago, last time it was in Japan and liked the magic show. And what I meant when somewhere it said sh can't heal him or save him, I was really kind of saying that in the end, she can help him, but the tragedies Inu Yasha struggles through are his own to get over.__

Next Chapter? **Photographic Memory**

(Mmm, let's dwell on the past for a while.)


	29. Photographic Memory

**_All's Fair in Love and War_**

Twenty Eight

Photographic Memory

  
His eyes opened slowly, only part way, and he stretched out his limbs. His toes curled in as he did so. He yawned, and then snapped his jaw back in place with ease, despite a couple of small cracking sounds. Kagome was lying next to him and her breathing was loud enough to be heard by him, yet soft enough to not be obscene. He snickered to himself at her sleeping face. A runnel of drool on the side of her face did take away from the serene perfectness of her sleeping form, and he was almost surprised that someone like Kagome actually did something like drool in her sleep. He stiffled his laughter as not to wake her.

The sky above them was cold and grey as it dawned and the rims of the monotone clouds were tipped with pink edges. The sun was not yet visible over the horizon which led him to believe it was around six o'clock. Since he had to wake up early every morning to make breakfast, clean occasionally, and get ready for school, he was so used to waking up early that he did it even on weekends when he could sleep in.

A light drizzle of rain sprinkled over both their bodies and he decided to head inside the house, noticing the darker rain clouds across the sky that looked ready to burst at any moment. He wrinkled up a sleeve of his outfit and wiped her face softly to remove the saliva. He softly pushed his hands under her back and lifted her up, her sleeping head lolling against his chest.

Now, getting himself along with Kagome down the vertical stairwell was a small problem. He wouldn't tell her, but he actually came close to dropping her more than once. But he found that if he leaned back against the other wall of the narrow tunnel that formed that stairwell, he could care fully step down the rungs, one by one. (The ladder formed a ninety degree angle with the ground.) The bottom of the ladder landed him in a sort of storage closet and, using his back, he had managed to push the door open. He slunk through the dark house, using his ears and senses more than he actually used his eyes.

The living area in the part of the shrine Kagome lived in offered poor lighting, seeing as windows were very scarce. There was one sunroof which a square shaped pillar of light grey seeped in, but beyond that, the house was painted with shades of black. He bumped into many walls, his feet desperately trying to remember the layout of the Higurashi house. Stumbling around in the dark felt kind of awkward. He knew he should trust his enhanced senses to lead him to her room, but the idea of not knowing where you are going, where you are standing, or even where you are in the first place tends to make a creature fill with fear or worry. Worry, in this case, that he wouldn't be able to find Kagome's room and he would pass out on the floor. 

He looked back at the small square sunroof in the main room and examined the furniture. From noticing where the furniture was and what directions they were facing, he could tell where he was and found his path. He soon found himself stumbling into Kagome's room and he lay her down in her bed softly. He brought the blanket from the foot of her bed over her and she curled into a ball on contact, snuggling her head into the pillow and mumbling some unheard phrase in her sleep. He smirked at her as she did so.

He felt around the room, every so often stopping and flicking his ears in every direction to find Shippou. At last, his fingers stroked the soft fur of his back. Inu Yasha lay down with him, Shippou instinctively crawling closer to Inu Yasha's warm body. He cradled the kitten in his arms for a while, delighted with the soft sighs in his breathing. Then he placed the child back down and covered him with a blanet. The demon sighed happily and mumbled something about tennis shoes before falling back asleep.

Inu Yasha was restless. Sleepless nights and a strange fear of not knowing what was going to happen next helped him stay awake at night when he much preferred to stay asleep. He decided to prowl around the Higurashi household. He looked around the small living area, not daring to go outside into the complicating maze of stairs and tunnels that Kagome seemed to know so well.

Kagome's house was made of seven rooms; a kitchen, a small dining area, her bedroom, her mother's bedroom, two bathrooms, and a small guest room, probably for a maid or visiting relative. He looked through the dining area. It served multi-purposes. Since it was large, on one side was a table, and on the other was a sofa with a chest and a television.

He walked around the room and tried to take it in and memorize it, in case he needed ever to do a little midnight run like he had just done. Technically it wasn't midnight, it was probably around five forty five, because the sky was turning that grey color it becomes before the sun rises. He ran his fingers across the chest the television was on. It was smooth and smelled nice. Running his hand along the wall, he felt his way to Kagome bathroom. It was average and clean. It had a toilet and a shower/bath adorned with a snowy white curtain covered with pictures of pink flowers.

He walked towards the small guest room and with a little jiggle of the knob, he opened the door. It was small, and had only a chest of drawers and a bed. It was cozy, like it belonged to someone, however, Inu Yasha strongly felt that no person had ever occupied this room. He walked over to the bed and felt the comforter. It was soft. He plopped down on it and squeezed the pillow with his slender fingers. After a brief rest, he sat up and looked around the room. A small closet caught his attention. He opened it to look inside and a huge and heavy binder fell, narrowly missing his feet. He shrieked quietly then clamped his hand over his mouth. He hoped no one heard that. He'd feel terrible to wake Ms. Higurashi at this ungodly hour.

It landed face down with the back cover flipped up. He kneeled beside it and looked into the page. There was a photo on the page. It was of Kagome and her mother. They looked about the same as they do now so Inu Yasha assumed that it was taken only a short while ago. So it was photo album. He had often fantasized about having something as nice and pleaseant as a family album. Of course, he wouldn't have many pictures to fill it with. But how wonderful it would be if he could own ssomething like this; a memoir of both good times and bad, sealed away forever within the tearing front covers of a binder. He grinned and flipped through the pages, opening on a random one. Another picture of Kagome, this time, she was wearing a school uniform. It was a collared shirt with an emblem in the upper right hand side, and strangely fitting beige pants. He ran his fingers along the rim of the photo, trying to take in the memory of her face. She looked to be around two or so years younger, still in middle school.

_So this is when she lived in America.'_ he thought. He flipped the page. Throughout the next couple pages there were pictures of her and a few other girls; about two or three he saw frequently and assumed them to be her best friends'. _She must have been so sad to leave them. I bet she still talks to them all the time.'_ he thought. He glanced at the American architecture and then felt glad he lived in Japan, where everything did not look as boring and grey as the buildings in the pictures.

He looked at the pictures of her with her father. One picture he liked in particular was that of her and him at some kind of party. There were soft disco lights every where and in the middle of the picture, a little to the right, was Kagome and her father. Except, since he was so tall, he was on his knees and she was giggling with her hand to her mouth. He smiled in delight at the picture, the overall sweetness of the mood overwhelming him.

Inu Yasha? His body shook at the voice. He felt himself tense up as he looked over to the caller with the feminine voice. It was Kagome. He felt awkward as he sat in silence, feeling almost guilty about looking through her things. She was wearing pajamas now. They were blue and had little ducks on them.

You changed. he noted, avoiding.

Yes, I always change into pajamas when I get out of bed. she said as she glided over and sat beside him.

he asked and sat facing her.

She laughed and said, No. I just wanted to change out of that kimono. I cant believe I fell asleep in that thing. Oh well, it _is_ quite comfy. She grabbed a pillow off of the guest bed and hugged it to her chest, pulling her knees in. Inu Yasha let out a chuckle, though he was feeling quite embarrassed for not catching the sarcasm.

I was shocked to wake up in my own bed just now. she said.

he muttered.

For what? she asked.

For scaring you. he said. I apologize.

She laughed and put her hand on his back. Inu Yasha, you don't need to apologize for that. Silly boy. she chirped. He looked sheepish. Besides, it was sweet of you to carry me to my bed. Why'd you do that anyways? she asked.

Um, it was raining, kinda. he muttered, shaken by her calling his actions sweet'. He hugged his shins to his chest and rested his head between his knees, so that the side of his head rested on them.

Oh. Have fun last night? she asked.

Yeah! It was awesome! he yelped.

Oh, shh, you'll wake my mom. she hushed and listened for the sound of her mother waking.

She's still asleep. he said.

How can you tell? she asked, curiously.

I can hear her snore. he said, causing Kagome to go into a fit of giggles.

You laugh a lot you know, Kagome? he said.

I like laughing. she replied simply.

I do too. he said.

And that's why I like being around you. You make me laugh all the time. It's nice to be around people who make you happy. It was here that he decided he wanted to break down and beg Kagome to take him and and let him live with her because she made him happier than anyone in the world and his father made him more miserable than he ever thought possible. But that would be quite inappropriate.

You make me happy too. he said softly, as Kagome smiled and burrowed her face into her arms.

She smiled sheepishly and then said, I'm glad. She motioned towards the book on the floor. What were you looking at? she asked.

Um, a picture book. Your mom's I think. He flushed and pulled it towards them. The two teenagers lay down on their stomachs and faced the open book.

Oh yeah, said Kagome, flipping through a few pages. Our old scrap book. she said, as if she were just remembering it existed now. This thing is ancient. Me and my mom used to take pictures of everything. And we kept them all organized in this little book. It kind of went to sleep for a bit after my dad died, so there aren't a lot of pictures of me in America. I suppose the ones in here are the only ones there are. Inu Yasha nodded, taking in all the information.

My mom used to want to be a photographer, but was sidetracked by marraige and me, so she just took it up as a hobby instead of a profession. Somewhere in the shrine she has a dark room. She used to use it a lot, but stopped using it for a while. When my dad died, her creativity kind of died along with him I guess. She told me that she couldn't bring herself to take a picture of any of the beautiful things she used to capture in her pictures. A lot of her work from after he died was really dark, kind of scary.Her pictures reflected her mood then? he asked.

Exactly! Smart little Inu Yasha. I suppose you'd know huh? Since you're an artist and all. Do you draw sad things when you're feeling blue too? she asked and rocked forward and then back to her original position again.

It didn't take long for him to answer this. he said. At his house, he couldn't bring himself to draw anything happy. Seeing the pictures he drew made him more frightened than they did proud.

I remember talking to a psycologist who came to my school once about the pictures. She said that my mom shouldn't take pictures like that anymore, because they put her in an unhappy place. But I think it's the opposite ... Because, maybe taking them made her get rid of some of that unhappiness. I don't really know how to explain it but ... I think that when she expressed herself it helped make her feel better. Beauty lurks in darkness too. It's just ... harder to find, I guess.I think I should draw more beautiful things. he said thoughtfully. She nodded in agreement.

What'll you draw Inu Yasha?I don't know. he said and shrugged. I'll draw ... whatever you want me to draw. Pick something. he said.

Kagome tapped her head and looked around, as if searching for something he could draw. she said and a grin creeped on to her face. She looked at him and smiled, rocking back forth on the carpet. Draw me! she squeaked out. Please? Will you Inu Yasha?Ah ... sure. he said and nodded.

she laughed and clenched her fists in front of her face, wiggling with excitement. Draw more beautiful things.' she quoted. I'm flattered. Inu Yasha blushed and looked down at his feet. He hoped she might have caught on to the relation but he never expected her to voice it aloud. Will you really draw me? she asked.

he said softly, if you want me to. he said matter of factly.

she said, would be wonderful. Say, want to look at the picture book with me? My mom has some great photos. he said and lay on his stomach, facing the book. Kagome opened to a random page in the middle. On the page was a picture of Kagome, with her mother and father. Her mothers arm was around the girls shoulders and the woman and the man were smiling. Kagome looked idly into the camera, almost as if she were bored. Kagome looked around eleven or so. _That must have been right before he died.'_ thought Inu Yasha sadly.

Kagome smiled and said, That's all three of us, in front of the shrine. She turned the through the pages. A picture of Kagome, with her hair up in a ponytail, all except two little delicate curls that hung down and curtained her face, presented itself. Her pink shirt said Funk' in little feminine rhine stones and she looked exactly like a little girl. A girl with fluffy brown hair looked over Kagome's tiny shoulder as Kagome blew out cake candles. That's me on my seventh birthday. The girl next to me was a good friend of mine when I was younger, but we lost touch. Funny isn't it? We were so close and now I can't even remember her name. Inu Yasha shook. Could it be that someday he would just be a nameless picture in a forgotten scrap book? He couldn't let that happen. Not with Kagome.

She turned another amount of pages and there was another picture of her. That was me on a third grade class field trip. We went to Tokyo Tower. There was the little adorable Kagome, dressed in the classic Japanese school uniform looking out the window or a bus; gazing out the glass lining the walls of Tokyo Tower; wandering through the gift shop area of Tokyo Tower, trying to decide which cookies she should buy with the thousand yen her mother gave her.

She flipped forward again, and as if someone had pressed a fast forward button on Kagome's life there were more pictures. Kagome sat at a desk, typing words into a computer keyboard. This picture was obviously taken when she was not looking because she was messily dressed and hunched over in an almost crude way. Her mouth was half open as if she was chewing on something and she furrowed her eyebrows at the computer as if it had just insulted her. She turned the page after pausing just long enough to let Inu Yasha catch a glimpse at the computer picture. He glimpsed another picture of her sticking her tongue out at the camera person and pulling down one of her lower lids. Kagome stared at the page and pointed at the aforementioned picture and said My father took that. quite solemnly before flipping back a lump of pages.

Her voice regained it's natural bubbly fluffiness as she bounced once where she sat and pointed at a picture on the page she opened to. That's a picture I took. Notice how its off center? Not to mention it's of nothing in particular. I think that was the hoof of a merry go round horse. Hey, I think that was from the carnival I went to when I was younger, the same one we went to yesterday. I guess I was five or something. Inu Yasha fingered his way through the pages and opened to a random one. Kagome looked up at the boring white cieling and mused. I still remember my favorite fifth birthday present. A kodak disposable.

He was getting very near the front cover of the book. Kagome looked at the page Inu Yasha had opened to and lectured again. That is my mom. She was younger then of course. In the picture stood a woman, looking to be around twenty. She had soft wavy hair that was pulled back in a loose pony tail, and a warm, soft smile. She pointed to the picture next to it. In the picture stood the same woman with her arm wrapped around that of a man. And that's my mom with my father. They were high school sweethearts. she said happily, a sense of pride ringing in her words.

commented Inu Yasha. She's really pretty.My mom says she knew that he was hers the second she locked eyes with him. Cool, huh? I wish that could happen to me. It's so ... romantic, I guess. she said. I couldn't imagine how she felt when he died. It must be like having part of you ripped out. she said, slightly grimly.

That's terrible. said Inu Yasha softly, not wanting to disturb or upset the already upsetted Kagome. He looked down at her hand and saw it twitch twice. Hey, who's that? he asked, and pointed to a third picture of a woman with her arm around Kagome's mother, smiling and winking at the camera. The picture looked like it was taken by one of the girls, because most of their heads were cut off, and the faces of the two were big and looked like they were close to the lens when the photo was taken.

My mom's friend I guess. shrugged Kagome. I think that was a good friend of hers through high school. They lost touch I suppose. I have never met her.She's pretty. said Inu Yasha.

Yeah, her smile is really cute. She looks really lively in this picture. said Kagome. 

Kagome took the picture out from under the protective glossy coating of the scrap book. She held it in the middle of them so Inu Yasha could see. Isn't it weird to think that was my mom? I mean she looks so young. I can't help but think of her as the fourty something year old person she is today. What about your mom? Do you remember her?Hm. She was pretty tall, I think. Then again, she died when I was young so I guess everybody seemed tall then. She had soft hair, like mine, and it was the same color, only hers was darker silver. She had tan skin and really bright eyes. They were really light. Mine are more amberish looking. But hers were bright yellow. She was really pretty. I ... I don't really remember her so well. he said regretfully.

Don't you have any pictures of her? she asked.

I have one. Its small and faded though. he said. I could show you maybe. I already showed you the picture I drew of her. That came out really well. Well, she basically looks like me if I were a girl. he said shyly as he brushed his long bangs out of his eyes. She told me it's cos' demon blood is so dominant that half demons almost always take after the demon parent. he said this happily because he remembered his mother being the most beautiful woman in the world. He thought this and it made him feel good. If you met my father, you would never be able to tell I was his son. He said. It made him feel good to say it.

Kagome called, spooking Inu Yasha. Kagome's mother appeared in the doorway, sleepily rubbing her eyes. 

What in heaven's name are you kids doing up so early? she asked and yawned.

We were looking at the pictures. said Kagome, smiling innocently. Inu Yasha blushed and looked down, feeling ashamed and embarrased that he may have woken her. The woman in the doorway stretched and yawned again, the long sleeves on her night gown flapping in the wind her movements produced. After stretching, she sat down beside Kagome and kissed her cheek. Morning Mom. she said.

Morning Kagome. The woman rubbed her eyes and twisted her torso. Well, I'm up. No use trying to fall back asleep now. she shrugged. Anyone want breakfast? she asked tiredly.

Kagome hummed. Ms. Higurashi looked down at the book for a second before pulling herself up and walking towards the kitchen with Kagome in tow. Inu Yasha watched them leave, then cautiously stuffed the picture into his jacket.

**_Author's Notes_**

THANKS FOR 1000 REVIEWS! I LOVE YOU GUYS:squeals:__

If you want to know why 1) The past two weeks have been hell and/or 2) Why this chapter is so late, read below.__

I**_ KNOW_** this chapter is like two weeks late but thats because as of two weeks ago I am no longer allowed to go on my dads computer, the only one that has internet, during the week and I am only at his house every other weekend. Know what that means? About 6 hours of computer for me **_every other week._** It's utter hell, I assure you that you guys are not the ony ones suffering. So, other than having my small dream of perhaps being a writer when I grow up **RIPPED** from me, I am also fearing the possiblilty that I may not be able to complete AFILAW because I wont have enough time to write. I'm really sorry if I don't update frequently, but stick with me guys. My fans are my best motivation to keep on writing this story, and that is something that is growing increasingly harder to do.  
**_  
_**So ... A look into the past life of Kagome and her bewidowed mother. Seems normal enough right? Mwhaha.

Well, this story has become quite big. It exceeded all my original ideas, truthfully. In the beginning it was just going to be Inu Yasha and Kagome falling madly in love at first glance and then teen angst fit only for a soap opera. I figured it would be fifteen chapters long and no longer than 30,000 words. Crazy how different it actually is, right? It's looking at being around **35 chapters** and **at least** **90,000 words**. Joy.

Some one asked about my **trip to Japan** and I have to say this: I lurve Japan. It was totally beautiful there! If anyone wants to see pictures of my trip then they can visit me on dA:

http // the- perfect- failure. deviantart. com /

Take out the spaces, though.


	30. Happy

**_Allís Fair in Love and War_**

Chapter Twenty Nine

Happy

Inu Yasha sipped the last of the milk from his bowl of corn flakes and gulped, followed by a small sigh on his part. Shippou sipped his second kiddy cup full of whole milk, a luxury for the small demon. As if it were some natural inherited cat trait, he loved all things creamy and milky. He took a fork clumsily in his chubby fingers and jabbed it at an opened can of tuna fish, a new favorite of the child. He had never eaten fish.

Inu Yasha licked away the milk mustache he had grown over the past thirty seconds and rubbed his face on his sleeve. He rubbed his eyes and yawned, the low rumble of sound coming from his throat rising a few notes to a high pitched sigh at the end of his yawn. He twisted his torso to the side, placing his hands on his hips as he did so. Kagome looked over at him and grinned before she finished off her orange juice. Inu Yashaís eyes, tired from a very short night of sleep, sat half lidded on his amber-gold irises as he lazily gnawed on the rim of his glass.

The bright light from the freshly risen sun beat down through the sun roof and set the room aglow in bright and dazzling light. Kagome took the last bite of her egg, her silverwear sparkling as she twirled it in her fingers. She chewed slowly and lazily as she turned to face Inu Yasha, his half lidded eyes roaming the room as he gnawed on the glass he held in his clawed fingers. He turned towards her and his eyes widened a little as he removed the glass from his mouth. ìUm, Kagome?î he asked. ëCan we, um, well, is it okay ... um.î

Inu Yasha couldnít do it. He couldnít ask for favors. Fact be, he could not ask for anything at all. Yes, his confidence in himself was at an all time high now, but for some reason, after all the abuse, the feelings of worthlessness; he could ask for nothing. After all, didnít he have all he could ever wish for? He didnít need anything else, right? Did he deserve anything else?

ìWhat?î she asked, licking away orange juice with a pink tounge tip.

ìUm, nothing.î he said and went back to chewing hopelessly at the rim of his glass, fogged by the milk the faded slowly from the sides of the glass that once contained it. Kagome shrugged and got off of her chair to put her dishes away. When she returned to her chair, she sat down and looked out the window boredly.

ìYou two look bored, why dont you do something?î she suggested. ìWhat would you like to do?î

ìInu Yasha, you choose, youíre the guest.î Kagome said.

ìI dunno.î Inu Yasha shrugged, removing the glass from his mouth. He almost hoped Kagome would pick for him.

ìWhy donít all three of you play in the garden, Kagome likes it there. Iím sure youíll love it as well, Shippou.î Shippou flicked his tail and his ear perked up. He made a mew of contentment before slurping the last drops of liquid out of the sippy cup he held in his small hands.

ìOkay!î he chirped as he wiped away his newly grown milk mustache with his sleeve.

ìAlrighty.î said Kagome as she stood up.

She tugged lightly on Inu Yashaís sleeve to rouse him from his chair and he stood and followed her to the door with Shippou in tow. Kagome lead them through the confusing Higurashi household, abundant in twists and turns until they reached the garden they were searching for. Shippou squealed in delight at the plant that greeted him and he dashed towards the fountain to perch on the rim and look out at the lush greens. ìPlants!î he squealed. ìInu Yasha, plants! Theyíre everywhere!î He trotted around in a bush for a while and Inu Yasha and Kagome couldnít help but let a little bit of their suppressed laughter escape.

ìYou know, Inu Yasha, he kind of looks like you did when you first saw you.î she said and put a hand on her waist as she rolled her head on her shoulders.

ìAgain, Kagome, itís my evil influences rubbiní off on him.î he said. She giggled and punched him softly in the arm.

ìNo, I mean you looked kind of ... I donít know, young, when I first met you. You were all wide eyed and naive looking. Most people loose that look when they hit ten. I kind of liked seeing you like that. You just seemed so ... innocent. I really canít explain it. But um, you just looked ... like a child, I guess.î she said, her words kind of drifting along slowly, as if she were talking more to herself than to him.

ìIs that a good thing or a bad thing?î he asked cautiously and raised an eyebrow. 

ìNeither I suppose.î she said. ìI thought it was kind of neat. You have a different look now though I think. I guess youíve changed.î she said and shrugged.

ìSo is _that _a bad thing?î he asked, curiously.

She laughed and knocked his arm with her fist again. ìNo, Inu Yasha.î she said, laughing. ìIíll like you whether you look like a child or an eighty year old man. Kay? I promise.î she continued, still laughing the tiniest bit. ìGeesh.î she said and made an exaggerated sigh. 

ìSorry.î he mumbled. Shippou came running out of the bushes with a fist extended towards Inu Yasha.

Before Shippou spoke she mumbled, ìThough if you look like an eighty year old man now, we might have a slight problem on our hands.î

ìLook!î he squealed. ìI got a ant!î he said and wiggled around in place. He unclenched his tiny hand and a big black ant was crawling over his pointer finger, slowly making itís way to his fingernail.

Inu Yasha laughed and patted the childís head, rubbing the cat ears down against his skull. ìNice. What are you going to name it?î he said.

ìI can _name _it!î he squeaked. ìNo _way!î _He was surprised indeed. What a priviledge.

ìYep, name it anything you like.î he said.

ìOkay. Then ... itís name is Happy.î he said. Happy, the ant, crawled across Shippouís hand and tried to make its way down his arm when Shippou placed his other hand in the way and the bug went onto his finger.

ìThatís not a name!î protested Inu Yasha.

ìYes it is!î said Shippou. After all, Inu Yasha had said, _anything _he wanted.

ìWell, I think Happyís hungry.î said Kagome. ìYou should let him go now. He wants to go back to his ant family. Iím sure they miss him.î she said knowingly.

ìOh.î said Shippou sadly. ìI have to?î he asked.

ìYeah, I donít think he likes being held that much.î she said.

ìFine.î he agreed and kneeled down, placing his hand against the grass and watching his friend crawl into the green plant life.

ìI have an idea!î exclaimed Kagome.

ìHm?î said Shippou, looking over his shoulder.

ìI can help you catch lizards.î she said. ìLots of little lizards crawl in here and they are real fun to catch.î she said. ìJust um, donít eat any, kay?î

ìNo, no, no. I already ate. Iím stuffed.î he said, as if turning down an offer for a gourmet dinner of lizards.

Inu Yasha watched as Kagome charmed small Shippou. _ëSheís really good with kids.í _he thought. ë_Shippou really seems to like her.í _He was glad too. After all, it would be difficult if Shippou didnít like one of his favorite people in the world. Shippou was important to him, after all, one of the most important people he knew. It would be pure tragedy if the two clashed. But all his fears were assuaged when they met.

In his cat form, Shippou tends to be rather weary of people holding him, much less, touching him. In a strange way, without even knowing Kagome, he trusted her. Whatís more important is that he placed all his faith in Inu Yasha and if Inu Yasha liked this Kagome girl so much, she had to be a wonderful person, or so he thought. After all, Kagome made his daddy so happy. He liked her just for that. Though sometimes he got a little jealous of her. Did Inu Yasha talk so greatly of him too? He hoped. After all, Inu Yasha was his favorite person ever.

Kagome, Inu Yasha, and Shippou clambered along the vines that clung to the walls of her house and searched for the mentioned animal life. Lizards seemed to be abundant in her yard because they caught many. And Shippou named them all.

There was Susie, Mary Lu, Warrior (This one was a biter, poor Shippou would soon find.) Wubbie, Foot, and Cranky. (Cranky was ësleepingí.) Then there was three small ones that Shippou decided were sisters, so they were named Annie, Lannie, and Fannie. He has yet to realize that ëfannyí has dual meanings.

Then there was Linda the bullfrog, and Scary, the garden snake that Shippou swears he saw slither by. All in all, Shippou caught twice as many thing as Kagome and Inu Yasha combined. Shippou enjoyed having Kagome around. Inu Yasha realized that by the end of their time in the garden, whenever he caught something, he showed it to her before he showed it to Inu Yasha and made happy faces as she praised him on his good work.

At around eleven, the three of them heading back inside to the living area of Kagomeís home. It was partially due to the fact that they were thirsty and cold, and also the fact that Inu Yasha felt rain coming towards them. He could usually tell the weather when he paid enough attention because of certain feeling he gets in his body. The hairs stood up on his arm in the garden as they were lizard hunting and he sneezed. Kagome asked him ìAre you getting sick?î

ìNo,î he said, ìitís going to rain.î

Inu Yasha plopped down on a chair and sighed. He looked down as he felt Shippouís small body land with a plop on his lap. The child stood on his thighs and rested his head against Inu Yashaís chest, reaching up and grabbing up bunches of Inu Yashaís shirt in his tiny hands. He closed his eyes and snuggled closer to Inu Yasha, trying soak in some warmth from the boyís body. Tentatively, Inu Yasha wrapped his hands around the childís back and held him closer. ìYouíre cold.î he stated.

ìHm.î Shippou agreed.

Kagome returned from the kitchen with glasses of water. On top of one sat a sippy cup that Inu Yasha assumed was full of milk for Shippou. Inu Yasha tapped the small boyís back as he saw Kagome coming and Shippou looked up. ìHuh?î he questioned.

ìLook.î Shippou turned his head and saw Kagome coming with the glasses.

ìKagome!î He shrieked and lept off of Inu Yashaís lap. He clambered to the table sloppily and grabbed the rims of it with his small fingers as he peered over the table.

ìIs that for you?î he asked and pointed over to a glass of water, dripping with water droplets.

ìAnd Inu Yasha.î she said softly. She handed a glass to Inu Yasha and he thanked her quietly. ìBut this is for you.î she said and handed him a sippy cup.

ìEe!î he shrieked and grabbed it sucking it greedily as fast as he possibly could. After a few moments, when Kagome was situated on the couch, he turned to her and looked around in a confused manner. ìIt tastes weird.î he said. ìItís like milk, except not. Like thereís something else in it also.î he said.

ìItís chocolate milk.î she said. 

His eyes widened and he shook his head wisely. ìOh.î he said simply. ìItís really good!î he said happily and continued to drink. Kagome hummed happily and then took another sip of water.

Shippou stumbled over to Inu Yasha and sat next to her, leaning against her side and purring happily as he sipped the chocolate treat. Inu Yasha felt a wave of relief wash over him as he watched the two. They were so comfortable and content. There was almost a perfect moment of peace that he saw in Shippou at that moment. _ëThatís how Iíd always like to see him.í_

Kagome rested a hand on Shippouís head and lazily scratched the back of his neck making the kitten mew happily, despite being in his human form. Kagome giggled at the mew and took another sip of water.

The perfectly placid tranquil moment was shattered as a drum of thunder splashed into his ears and rumbled past the house. Inu Yasha spooked and bounced in his seat once. He hadnít even noticed it was raining. The whole morning he knew it was going to rain. He could smell the wet in the air, and feel the growing static and tension he usually felt before a rainstorm. He looked at the hairs on his arms and as he had guessed, they were standing on end, like a plane of thin blades of grass that shook when a wind strong enough hit them. He looked over and saw that Shippouís tail looked much like a fuzzy salami loaf from all the fur that puffed out. Inu Yasha chuckled to himself as Shippou hissed when the thunder struck again, toppling over after failing to regain his composure from the first wave of thunder.

The kitten let out a long whining somber mew and burried his head into Kagomeís body. He whimpered into her side ìI hate rain.î Kagome stroked his head gingerly and attempted to calm him, but after the third wave of lightning struck the horizon, the child scampered over to Inu Yash and dug himself into the boy, searching for a kind of solace that not even Kagome could offer him.

Inu Yasha stood and cradled the cat closer as he rose and trotted smoothly towards Kagome. He plopped down on the couch next to her, and leaned towards her. ìYou should shut the window.î he whispered softly, as if Shippou were sleeping and he was trying to keep from waking him. Kagome nodded and walked over to the window that offered a limited view of the outside world from her house. She placed her hands on the wood framing the glass and pulled the window shut with little effort. ìHeh,î she laughed softly, ìthis is getting kind of stubborn.î

She retreated to Inu Yasha. ìIs he asleep?î she asked.

Inu Yasha looked shocked. ìAsleep? Oh no, he can hardly stop shaking!î Shippou, now in his fully feline form, lay like a pille of sofft vibrating fluff in Inu Yashaís arms. Kagome hummed thoughtfully, as if what she was about to say would have such deep meaning that you would try to remember those words. Somehow, everything she said had that affect on him.

ìGive him to me.î she commanded, and Inu Yasha obeyed silently. Shippouís small claws dug into the fabric of the shirt that Inu Yasha was wearing and each tiny talon had to be removed individually.

Kagome cradled the cat in her arms and kissed it behind itís ears. Shippou whimpered as another fissure of lightning streaked the sky, and sure enough, the intense explosion of sound followed. She hummed a tune to the cat and rocked him back and forth. Shippou settled himself inbetween her side and her arm that held him and nuzzled his head under her chest. Kagome continued humming louder and Inu Yasha recognized the melody as the one she had sung earlier. That same hypnotic and entrancing tune he loved. The one that made him feel so eased and peaceful. He tingled as she hummed. Nothing in particular about Kagomeís voice was out of the ordinary or special, but somehow, he felt like his entire life could be perfect and all his troubles would melt away if he could just hear her sing this song.

After a few minutes of soft humming, Shippou lay like dead weight in her arms.

**_Authorís Notes_**

**  
In regards to my contest, all entries are due January 30th.**

**ENTRIES DUE JANUARY 30TH! AS IN: TWO MONTHS FROM NOW! **(Now equals12-2-05)

As you know I need a male and female character for my story. But if two females win, because not enough males enter, then I will name one girl 1st place and the other 2nd and the second will have to make a boy name for me I guess. (weíll work it out)

**Bulletin Board**

1) Thanks for a thousand! I love you guys! Hugs for all! And oreos!

2) I have had new computer limitations imposed upon me. And due to them I can only go on the computer every other weekend from noon to nine p.m. That is why this chapter is so late.

3) I can now reply to reviews! That is so cool! Yay!

4)This story is going nowhere slowly. Shit. On a lighter note, next chappie is in progress and after some more fillers, I **DO** plan to add the rising action, the climax of the story and a conclusion.

**Note: **The chapter is named after the ant, not the emotion. I like lizards. I used to catch them all the time when I was little.


	31. Back To Reality

**_All's Fair in Love and War _**

**Chapter Thirty  
**  
_Back to Reality_ (**A/N** It's about time!)

Inu Yasha stood by the gates to Kagome's dwelling with Shippou in his arms. The cat purred, just happy that the rain had stopped. Inu yasha could tell that there was still more rain to come, but the intermission between rainfall was enough where he could get himself home safely.

"Are you sure you'll be fine walking?" Kagome asked again, for what seemed like the hundredth time in the past ten minutes she had spent saying goodbye

He shrugged it off. "I'll be fine." he said and offered her a small smile to reassure her. "I promise."

She grunted, obviously not satisfied with his refusal.

"What are you so worried about anyways?" he asked. "You shouldnít worry about me, I'll be fine." '_Besides,' _he thought,'_ it's not the walk home that you should be worred about.' _He almost laughed at the irony of the situation.

She sighed and played her fingers along the seem of her pajama pants she hadn't changed out of. "It's just ... I donít know! I shouldn't make you walk home! That's just so unthoughtful! Youíre our _guest,_ Inu Yasha." she said smoothly. "And we should treat you like one."

"We?"

"My mom and I."

"Oh."

"Anyways, I guess if you really insist on going home by foot there's nothing I can do to stop you, but ..." she sighed and rolled her eyes. "If something happens to you I"m never gonna get over it.î

"And just what would happen?" he asked and raised an eyebrow.

"Well, pht, I don't know! Lot's of things. There's kidnappers and child molesters and crazy people weilding scissors. You never _know _what's out there." she stated matter-of-factly.

"If any scissor weilding crazy people come my way Iíll protect Shippou. And tell them it's not safe to run with scissors." He added the last part after some thought.

Kagome giggled a bubbly giggle and said, "And then what are you going to do? Put them in time out?"

"Yup." he quipped.

Kagome laughed again, softly. "Well, I still feel uneasy about you walking home but-"

"Inu Yasha!" Kagome's mother waved across to her daughters friend from her car door. The backlights of the automobile flashed red twice and the woman put one foot into the car. "You got all your stuff? I'm ready to go when you are. Kagome, you coming too honey?"

Inu Yasha, feeling as though some animal in his throat had replied for him, straightened his spine in a quick shuddering movement before relaxing it again and said back. "Okay." He didnt realize that Mrs Higurashi had accomplished in less than ten words what Kagome could not accomplish in ten minutes worth of arguing until what he said sunk in. But why did he agree so quickly? He wondered this as walked towards the sleek black car that Mrs Higurashi had already climbed into. Apperently no one told her that Inu Yasha had made a decision he wanted to walk home.

Kagome and Inu Yasha sat in the bucket seats in the back while Shippou sat in the front, giddy, as he looked out at the traffic. At the slight mention that he could get to sit in the front, the seat usually reserved for grown ups, he siezed the oppurtunity and begged to be allowed to situate himself there.

Kagome and Inu Yasha sat silently in the back seats, seemingly perfectly content to feel the bumps on the road and look at the passing cars. Inu Yasha had given Ms Higurashi general directions to his house and until they got a bit closer, he sat quietly. Kagome looked over at him and her gaze settled firmly on his face. He felt her eyes on him and it made him uneasy. He turned to her and they exchanged small smiles, and then they both turned their heads and looked out the window.

"So ..." Kagome started. "What's your house like?" she asked and Inu Yasha froze. He hummed nervously and turned towards her, then rubbed his face with his fist.

"Ah ... it's, um okay ... I guess." An arrow of guilt struck him as he lied to the person he cared for most.

"Hm. So, I'm guessing you just live with your dad ... since your mom ... is..." she dropped off there and waited for him to interrupt her.

"Yeah." he said, quickly and softly. He knew she wouldn't have finished, but he didn"t want to hear her say it.

Kagome persisted. "So, do you ... like your dad?"

Inu Yasha might have been able to lie the first time but now he felt sick to his stomach as he muttered an "Uh." It didn't mean yes, but it didn't mean no either.

"Hm." she hummed at the new wealth of information; and what wealth it was.

They sat quietly for a small amount of time before Inu Yasha began nervously, "So ... why ... why do you ask?"

"Just curious is all." she smiled innocently and turned her head to the seat in front of her. "I mean ... I guess I ... just wanted to talk?" Inu Yasha tugged the sides of his mouth and shifted uncomfortably. He didnít want her to know what he wanted to tell her so badly. Of course, he wouldnít tell her what really went on in his house here, in front of her mom, but the thought suddenly struck him; Would he ever tell her? And if he did, how?

He wondered to himself, how would she react if he told her? Would she be scared?- of him, or his father? And what if she tried to do something about it? He knew what his father would do if the found out others knew about him.

He looked over at Kagome, who was staring out the window, and felt a little pacified by seeing her face. She was happy and peaceful, as she almost always was. Inu Yasha wondered how she managed to stay so calm and carefree like that all the time. Then again, she hadn't been brought up like he had.

He began to dream a little while staring out the window until Kagome's mother interrupted him. "Inu Yasha, which street do I take from here?"

He looked out the front window. "Um, keep straight for two lights and then turn right. I can find my way from there."

Kagome looked over to him and their eyes locked for a while. Then, without a word, she slid over to the middle seat and wrapped an arm around his chest to rest her hand on his opposite shoulder, and her head on the one near her.

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye and she simply smiled, then closed her eyes.

After a few more directions, they were driving down his street. His heart beat nervously as they neared his house. They were only a block away. Kagome still had an arm wrapped around his chest and her head on his shoulder. Her hand was very warm.

They stopped at a stop sign and he knew they were very close to his house. He looked out the window and stopped breathing at what he saw.

Standing right on the curb, with a box of trash in his hand, was his father. Inu Yasha's heart beat faster and faster as the car sped towards his house (at an astounding 15 mph). He sat, fish-like, in his seat, and pushed Kagome off him as he leaned forward to grab Shippou. "Can you stop for a moment please." He said urgently. Kagome's mom stopped the car.

"Are we here?" she asked.

He opened the car door and put Shippou on the ground. "Meet me later. Near my window, kay?" Shippou understood why this was and, after changing into a cat again, bouded off towards a neighbor's house to hide for a while.

"Uh, my house is just ahead. See, that one." He said this and pointed to the rut.

"Oh."

Kagome's mother kept driving until she reached the man standing on the curb. "Oh!" she said excitedly "and _that_ must be your father!" She opened a window and leaned over. "Excuse me! Sir!" The man turned to face the car and looked suspiciously at it. "Hi, I'm Kagome"s mom, you know, Inu Yasha's friend?" His father walked over to the car and squinted his eyes.

"Hi." he said and smiled socially. Inu Yasha wanted to melt away into the car seat when the man looked through the opened window at him. "You got my son?"

"Oh yes, he came over." she said and smiled. "He's a wonderful boy, so feel free to have him over any time."

"You behaving yourself well?" he asked in a gruff light hearted voice to the boy in the back seat. Inu Yasha merely grunted in reply and sunk downwards. "Good." He looked further into the car and saw Kagome. "And you must be Kagome."

Kagome smiled at him and nodded. "Uh-huh. Hullo." She extended an arm to him and he took her open palm and shook it abruptly, before she pulled her arm back.

"Nice to meet you Kagome." he said and smiled. Inu Yasha tugged at the corners of his mouth uncomfortably. "Well, get outta the car, Son." he said in fake affection. "We've got things we got to do."

Inu Yasha opened the door slowly and turned his body, putting his feet on the asphalt of the street. Kagome put her arm on his shoulder and the human contact made him flinch. "Good bye Inu Yasha." she said and smiled nervously. "See you Monday, kay?" she asked.

"Yeah, Monday." he said and tried his luck at a reassuring smile. He pulled his body, which felt as heavy and cold as lead, around the car and towards the man. He stood next to him and waved again at Kagome through the tinted windows.

"Bye Ms Higurashi." he said. "Thank you so much for having me over."

"Our pleasure." she said and smiled. "I hope you can come over again sometime soon." She gave him a sweet smile and then turned to the father. "You have a good weekend."She grinned and the turned the window up. As they drove away, Kagome crawled into the passenger seat. Her mother gave her a look and Kagome rubbed her forehead. "I felt it too." she said.

Inu Yasha watched painstakingly as the car drove off and disappeared from sight. He felt his stomach turn as his father softly hit the back of his hand on Inu Yasha"s shoulder. The boy was almost sure he was going to get a beating for disappearing like he did. Even though the man was not even home at all most weekends. And even when he was home, he usually wasn't even aware of that because of drugs, or alcohol. Inu Yasha knew that being punished for what he did wasn't rational, but his father was not a rational person.

"Come inside." he grunted.

Inu Yasha walked slowly towards the house, at least three steps behind the man. "Hurry the hell up. Pick your feet up." Inu Yasha hurried at comand and walked right behind the man as he stepped through the house.

The man walked straight to the kitchen and Inu Yasha followed. He reached into the fridge for a beer and opened it with his shirt. Then he sat down on the couch. After awhile of standing near the couch, Inu Yasha heard the man speak. "Goddamnit, Inu Yasha, either sit down or get away. Dont just stand there like a fucking ..." He took a sip of the beer." ... like a fucking ... I dunno. Just make up your mind." The boy looked at him strangely. He seemed more sedated than usual. When ever Inu Yasha did anything wrong, or even just differently, he was punished to the greatest extent available. He walked slowly towards the man and sat down on the couch as far away as possible from him.

"Ah-are you ... you're not going to-?" he didnt know exactly how to phrase his thought. "Usually when I leave the house, you..."

The man looked at him and raised a fat eyelid. "You _want_ me to fucking hit you?"

Inu Yasha puched himself against the arm of the sofa. "N-no, I just I...I..."

"So, you, uh, went and got yourself some fucking .. some girlfriend? Huh? Kagome? Well good job you, fuck, thats one nice looking wench." he asked. "At least I know my son's not a ... not some- some fucking ... faggot. Err, queer or somethin'."

"N-no! Kagome's just my friend." he said, his voice growing quieter as the sentence got longer.

" 'Friend!' he says. Feh, there's only one thing bitches are good for, and it ain't being friends. So what, you haven't even like fucked her or anything?" he said and chugged a couple sips of beer. Inu Yasha presed himself against the sofa and felt highly uncomfortable.

"N-no." he stuttered. "She ... I wouldn't.. I mean-"

"What, did she turn you down?" he asked.

"No, I never asked her to be my girlfriend!" he fought back. "She's not that kind of girl!' He bit his lips together as he realized he was yelling.

"Liar, she turned you down didn't she? Because you... you got your- your weird little body and stupid silver-' He stopped briefly as he hiccupped. "stupid silver hair and your ... your goddamned ears and ... all that ... stuff." he said and took another swig of alcohol.

Inu Yasha turned his attention to the television. There was a football game on. "No. I told you. I never asked-"

"Will you just shut the fuck up and admit she doesnít fucking want you?" he said and threw a beer bottle at the boys toe. An insignificant ripple of pain shot through his foot and he pressed himself further into the sofa, afraid to get up, but also afraid to leave. "Yeah." the man said. "What would a .. a pretty young girl want ... want with the... with you. Fucking demon ... crap. Well, least your not no fucking queer or nothing. No son of mine's gon' be a ... a faggot ... son of a bitch." He took a sip of beer and nearly finished it.

"Shit, they lost. Goddamned football."

**_Author's Notes  
_**  
Okay guys, I realized that 1)This story is moving too slowly 2)I REALLY need to update more often 3) I made a mistake making Inu Yasha's dad too unrealistically evil. Today, he musta taken some valium or something, because he's usually in a lot worse of a mood.

Well, I hope you leave me a review because I think my muse is deciding to take a winter break. Oh, and in regards to the contest, if I get your entry, I may not be able to put it on my bio because of the difficulty I have with putting links up in html format. Augh, I hate html!

Well, every one have a very happy nice christmas and new year!

I hope I have time to squeeze out a holiday themed one shot. (Where has all my time gone?)


	32. Tweaked

_**All's Fair in Love and War**_

**Chapter Thirty One**

_Tweaked_

Inu Yasha, once sure his father was well consumed in being angry at the team that lost, arose silently from the couch and padded to his room. He stood on his bed (a mattress on the floor) and opened the window near it. "Shippou?" he called quietly. His ears picked up some rustling in a nearby bush and soon enough, Shippou bounded towards the window and leapt up to the sill. He purred as he rubbed against Inu Yasha. He picked up the cat and sat down on the bed with him. "He … didn't hit me." Inu Yasha said as he faced the orange cat. "Not even once… although he did throw a bottle at my foot. But that's nothing." Inu Yasha pressed his back against the wall and sunk into the bed. "He … he lectured me. It was … really weird."

Shippou walked over to the mattress and morphed into his boy form. "Lectured you? You got off lucky!" The cat boy smiled and ran over to Inu Yasha's lap, purring. "I'm so happy you didn't get hurt!" The boy nuzzled against him.

"Yeah but … I don't know. It was scary … what he said." Inu Yasha held Shippou's warm body close to him.

"What did he say?" the boy asked.

The man's words rang through his head and he shuddered. "He … thinks Kagome doesn't like me." Shippou cackled a strange laugh.

"But she's your friend, of course she likes you!" he said.

It was useless to explain to Shippou what he actually meant by 'didn't like'. "Ah, it's nothing. I'm okay, right? We got lucky. See, we're both okay." Inu Yasha smiled at him and Shippou grinned back.

Inu Yasha had arrived later to school the next day. He was usually so motivated to see Kagome and talk to her by the tree they usually chat by in the morning that he didn't mind getting up early to do housework so he could see her, but … today felt _different._ He woke up later, slugged his way through dishes and cleaning up around the house, he was just _slower. _He paid special care to go out of his way to avoid the tree he liked to sit in.

He arrived to his first period class on time and Kagome was already seated. "You're late today." she said. "We always meet by the tree." Her brows arched and pushed towards each other in worry. "Are you okay? Did something happen?"

"Ah, I had trouble waking up." He said and smiled at her.

"Oh." she said, surprised. "You always wake up so early is all. Well, I'm glad you got some sleep." She grinned at him and Ms. Kikyo got up to the front of the class to teach.

After his fourth period, Inu Yasha fast walked to lunch and was there a minute or two before Kagome or Sango. Miroku came first. He sat across from Inu Yasha. "Ello." he said cheerfully.

"Hi." Inu Yasha said quickly and raised a palm to the seventh grader.

"Inu Yasha?" the boy said a tiny bit nervously and looked down at his hands.

"Huh?"

"What … um, what do girls like for presents?" he spat out. Inu Yasha raised a brow. "I … I mean … I just thought, you know, since you're older and all … you were more …" His mouth tugged at the corner and he sunk into his shoulders. " …experienced?" Inu Yasha looked at him blankly.

After the initial shock of hearing someone say he thought he was 'experienced' he thought of the obvious thing to say. "Why are you getting something for Sango? Is it her birthday?" This was confusing since if that was true, then wouldn't they be in the same grade?

"Yeah! Well, um, I mean … kind of. See, she lives here with her mom during the school year and then goes to America during the summers to live with her dad. And since her birthday is in the summer, she has a half birthday with her mom. She gets two. Lucky." he explained. And Inu Yasha thought to himself why it would make sense that someone would have two birthday parties every year, and yet, he couldn't remember his last one.

"Oh." he said as he soaked in the information. "Well … I guess I would draw her something. That's what I would do." This seemed nice, though only Inu Yasha knew that this was just because he had no spending money to buy her something with.

"Ugh, which would be great, if I could _draw._" His head fell down onto the table. "What am I going to get her?" His head smudged across the table and he looked up to Inu Yasha past his brow. "I'm doomed."

A female voice from behind him spoke. "Just … write her something. As long as it says 'I love you' in big pink letters on the front, she wont care what else is in there." Kagome briefly sat next to Miroku and rubbed the top of his head, pursing her lips into a small 'o'. "But it's _soooo_ cute you cared." she said like she was talking to a kitten. Miroku rolled his eyes and Kagome tossed her head back and let lose a couple hearty laughs. Inu Yasha watched with particular interest the way her throat shook when she laughed. She walked around the table and sat close to Inu Yasha, who pulled his arms in and placed his hands in his lap. "Just remember," she said sternly, "Sango can have anything she wants, so your present should be from your _heart_." she said shrilly as she looked upwards and batted her eye lashes.

"I'm bad at that." he moaned. "But I'll try for her." he rolled his head around on his shoulders. "Girlfriends are hard work." he sighed. Inu Yasha looked over to the door of the cafeteria and saw Sango coming closer, huffing as she power walked. She reached the table and threw herself on the seat next to Miroku.

"I … _hate _… walking to lunch." she huffed out. After a few seconds she stood again and everyone watched as she shuffled through her bag. "I mean … my last period is all the way across school! I have to stop at my locker and then run here so I still get to eat! And what's worse is I have to walk all the way back for my fifth period!" She withdrew an envelope from her bag and handed it to Inu Yasha. "Here." she said cheerfully. "For you!"

Inu Yasha took what he already assumed to be an invitation to her birthday. "It's in two weeks." she said as he opened it. "I hope you can come."

"Oh. A birthday party. It's at a hotel?" He looked at her and raised an eyebrow slightly

"Yeah?" she said as if wondering why he was surprised.

"Who else is coming?" he asked

"Just you guys and Kagome. I want to keep it kind of small. My dad bought a suite for one night so I guess boys will sleep in pull out and mwah and Kagome can sleep in the big bed." she explained. Kagome grinned cherubically and bounced twice in her seat as she took a bite of noodles. "I don't know, maybe there'll be a big room with two beds and we'll all be able to stay in the same room … unless … Maybe one boy will sleep in a bed and the other will sleep on a couch? Ugh, we'll figure that stuff out when we get there."

"You're parents are okay with having us come too?" He said. The meaning of 'us' was understood.

"Well, my mom won't be there, for one, and she doesn't really care, I guess. I mean … it's not like we'll do anything bad or anything," she shrugged. "Besides, pft, it's not like we'll have time to sleep since we'll be up all night CLUBBIN'! Whoo!" She giggled girlishly with Kagome and fell onto the shoulder of Miroku. "Ahaa… I'm hungry." She took out her lunch and began to eat.

Kagome looked over to Inu Yasha and pushed her noodles towards him. "This is becoming kind of ritualistic. I don't even get hungry at lunch anymore …"

Inu Yasha sat in the tree on the soccer field after school. (Which, due to school budgeting, was also the football field, the volley bald court, and the track team meeting place.) He had brought some paper with him and was sketching out a few ideas for a present for Sango. Maybe he could go 'shopping' with Miroku and steal some chocolate to give to her as well. But then, Sango was a 'body-conscious' person so she might not ever eat them, and Miroku might already have taken the idea for his present. He was utterly in the dark.

He wanted to do something pretty for his drawing. Flowers. Girls like flowers. But he wanted to draw something for Kagome that had flowers in it. If he did flowers for them both it would seem … not good. For Kagome, he had already promised to draw something. And now he also had to draw something for Sango. The idea of stealing chocolates seemed suddenly appealing.

But he would need a ride to a shopping place. The nearest chocolate shop to his house would be a good distance of a run, even for him. Running would be more difficult but it would make stealing easier. If he didn't have to worry about his friends catching him, on top of having to worry about shop workers catching him, then the steal would be quick and simple. He could wait until the shop got full and busy and then grab something and run. They would never even notice. But before the shop was full he would stroll the isles for what he wanted to take. "Oh, just looking!" he would say to the attendant, who would suspect nothing more of him because his ears would be covered by a hat or hood.

Then he would wait outside, casually enjoying the fresh air. Soon, people would flock to the store and it would be overflowing with people wanting to buy early Christmas presents or candy for their friends, their families, or themselves, and he would slip in, unnoticed. It would be like the chocolate was never there. Just a mistake in inventory, the workers would think.

It sounded perfect but stealing was getting more and more difficult as he got older. When he was a little boy, no one suspected any thing of him. How could such a sweet innocent boy be a thief? On occasion, when he was younger, being a half demon also meant being a better beggar. Some people, feeling sorry for him, would give him a dollar or two to get something from a store nearby as he held the door open for them. That was generally the only way he got money, which he saved for emergencies. Looking back on those years, he felt disgusted with the human race as he realized that the only kindness they had in them came from _pity. _But, no matter the feeling that sprouted generosity in few of them, the money he got from smiling and holding open doors and seeming pathetic did help him stay alive and well at times.

He rubbed his back against the trunk of the tree. It seemed like, at the worst time, he had … artists block. Sango's party was in two weeks and he didn't want to give her some half baked unfinished piece of crap. Sango was nice, and friendly and generous and seemed not to discriminate against his bloodline. Did she even know he was half human? She had to know, he assumed. But she didn't seem like the kind of person who would care about trivial things like that. Sango liked the people she liked because they were nice or attractive.

He was happy he had met people like Sango and Miroku. They were 'typical' teenage humans, and they didn't seem to be very biased against demons and the such. Perhaps the age of racism was ending in this generation? Sure, the rest of the school might not want to be around him but three people _did. _And he had seen humans who were worse of than he was - socially wise.

He crossed out the idea of flowers because he was saving flowers for Kagome. For Sango … Kittens? He 'ugh'ed and rubbed his forehead on the pad of paper. He put his pencil to the page and angrily scribbled dark lines all over his picture ideas and then was more upset when he realized that he had wasted a piece of paper. He would have to draw his ideas on the back too and there would be indents and bumps because of the scribbles on the other side.

He gave up and closed his sketch book. He had about five minutes of free time to relax on the tree before he had to go home. Kagome hadn't come today but somehow, it didn't bother him. In fact, he felt some how relieved. It's not that he valued her less as a friend, but he just felt like he wanted to avoid her. She was just _different_ now. But she was still his best and closest friend.

He hopped off of the tree branch he was sitting on and bounded off towards his home.

That night he scribbled through two and a half pages, front and back. He had no idea what he should draw for Sango. The kitten thing would be a good idea. Sango kind of looked like one anyways. He ended up putting the sketch book away and waiting until later to decide what to draw. Two days later, it was Wednesday and he still had no idea what he was going to draw for her. He had been feeling anxious lately. It wasn't school work that was busying him though. Something _else._ His nerves were on edge. Something inside him clicked and he had been feeling pretty weirdly lately. He just couldn't figure out why.

Presently, he strolled ginger-footed through the kitchen and opened the fridge. "You want another beer?" he called to his father.

A voice called to him. "Yeah. Open it for me." He reached in to the fridge and pulled out not only a beer but also a half gallon of milk and a pack of pre-cooked hotdogs. He found that using beer as a way to open the fridge worked very effectively in getting food. When he went shopping (every Wednesday) he purposely picked out things like pre cooked hot dogs. Things that are filling as well as easy. They don't need to be cooked (although it did make them taste better) and they weren't really something his father would notice if a few were missing. Also, Shippou, who detested any thing that wasn't meat or dairy, could eat them without problem when he could not hunt enough to feed himself. (Which rarely happened, really.)

He opened the top with his hands and carried the drink out to the man on the couch. He took it and didn't say thank you. "Get out the mop er something'. These carpets are filthy as shit." Inu Yasha went back to the kitchen and snagged the food and milk off the kitchen floor. He placed it there to make sure that even if his father did look back behind him, he wouldn't see the food sitting on the counter that separated the kitchen from the room where he sat.

He brought it to his room and Shippou, in boy form, attempted to messily drink out of the half gallon bottle. A runnel of white fluid ran down his cheek and got on the bed where they sat. Inu Yasha ate one hotdog and dutifully reported to the laundry room where a mop awaited his use.

The next day, he arrived late to school again. He had been doing this every day this week and he didn't know why, but he had just been feeling so tired and lazy in the mornings. He didn't feel sick though. He just felt exhausted at the thought of going to school. He liked school though. His head spun.

He sauntered over to Ms Kikyo's class room. The pretty woman was sitting in a chair grading papers but she looked up and smiled at Inu Yasha as he walked through. She was a good teacher, though not many other boy children in his class would notice because they were too busy anticipating the time she would finally drop the chalk and lean down to pick it up.

He sat next to Kagome who looked at him and tugged up the sides of her mouth. He waved and mouthed 'hi'.

At lunch, he arrived first, as he had grown accustomed to. He and Miroku always chatted before the girls arrived, which was fun, since Miroku could be pretty fun to talk to at times. He had yet to decide upon a present for her. The chocolate idea seemed nice, but he also felt like he had to draw something. But what? He and Miroku were at the table now, and Miroku was distressing over what he should get Sango. In aiding him to find a good gift, Inu Yasha was close to useless. A few minutes later Sango arrived, huffing her way across the courtyard. She sat next to Miroku, cheerfully greeted Inu Yasha and pulled out her lunch. "That's weird." said Miroku.

"What?"

"Well, it's just Kagome always comes before Sango gets here." he said, though didn't spend much time thinking on the matter. "Do you know if she missed school today or something, Inu Yasha? I saw her in home room but maybe she went home early." He shrugged.

A few minutes later, Kagome arrived, carrying a thick book under her arm.

"What's that?" Miroku asked as she set it down on the table.

"Animals. Um, animal book."

"Why do you have an animal book, Kagome?"

"For something for school. Inu Yasha knows about it, right Inu Yasha?" she said, throwing the conversation his way.

"Oh, yup. Me and Kagome are working together for a science project. We have to research and answer questions and write papers and all that stuff on a certain animal."

"Which would that be?" Miroku asked.

"Bonnet head sharks." he replied.

Kagome situated herself next to Inu Yasha and pulled out the stack out papers full of questions and essay prompts they needed to finish sometime with the next couple weeks. "We haven't even started yet so I figured that I should get a head start and rent a book from the library."

Sango looked over at the book and then grabbed it away, making it face her. "Do you mind if I look at it?" she asked. Kagome smiled and Sango flipped open the book. She looked through a few pages and then gasped and pointed to a page with tigers on it. "Aren't they pretty?" she asked anyone. The group nodded in response and continued on eating their lunch. All of them except Inu Yasha, who suddenly knew what he was going to draw Sango for her birthday.

**_Author's Notes _**

INTRODUCING! Plot twisty #1! A couple chapters more and you guys will be some happy clams! Mmm, plot twisty #2 ...

(Paid Programming!) Well … ahahaha, not to advertise my own stuff but will **SOMEBODY **please read my spiffy new one shot? I really like it and um … I don't think anyone read it … which bothers me … Now that every one is finished not listening, on to more _important _things.

**_IM SOOOOOOOOO SORRY! _**for taking so long to update

As for the late updating thing, I'll explain now '**WHY THIS UPDATE TOOK FOREVER!'**

Well, long story short, I skipped a few classes and got grounded at my dad's for three months (three very LONG PAINFUL months) which means: no computer. And since my mom just got internet back, I hadn't had time to type this chapter until recently, after recovering from a case of author laziness. But it's up and I am already starting on the next chapter. I actually got a PM from someone asking when I would update. Now, I am usually a faithful updater and that's never happened before. Yup, I realized I was in trouble. This story was wilting pretty quickly … so I watered it WITH MY LOOOVE.

Oh, and the Spanish I's are now gone from chapter 30 are GONE. Yay!


	33. On the Way

_**All's Fair in Love and War**_

**Chapter Thirty Two**

_On the Way_**  
**

Inu Yasha tottered to school on Friday. He sat through five classes, eagerly awaiting sixth period because, to his advantage, that class was art, and he would need to steal oil pastels from the art room, which was easy since the teacher just sat at the computer all period long anyways. He had borrowed the animal book from Kagome, and using a picture of a white tiger he referenced for colors he would need, he made two trips to the art supplies cabinet and took six or seven different shades he would be using to color his present. This weekend he would make a trip to the cluster of shops nearest to his home and steal chocolate for Sango. He had planned everything, which was semi-miraculous, as he usually got stressed over things like this and procrastinated to avoid them.

Friday had come and passed and Inu Yasha was sitting in his tree, alone. Despite the egotistical satisfaction of having friends, he lately seemed quite content enjoying being by himself which was strange, so he thought, since he could vividly remember pining for the attention and company of his unaccepting peers. But now that he knew he had that, seeing them constantly made him less attentive to seeing to it that he spent time with them outside of school. He hated this fact because it gave him the feeling that he was starting to take for granted all the people (yes, all three of them) that made his life so comfortable. But then, maybe ge gad just grown too used to being alone.

Most of the the life that he could remember was spent in isolation. And disturbingly enough, he had grown so used to the feeling that had caused him so much pain that it almost made him feel comfortable. He could still remember the time when he had spent every other minute thinking about when he would see her again and then, spent every minute with her, worrying about what he would do without her. He almost missed the obsessive mindset that had possessed him. But now, he felt strangely. Somehow, a certain degree of innocence had been scraped off his relationship to reveal underlying plaque, like a disease that didn't actually even affect him until, by some circumstances, he realized he had it. Why did things change so suddenly?

He yawned into his hand and stretched. He was feeling tired, despite the sleep he had been getting. He wanted to nap in the tree he sat in, but feared he would fall off. Instead, he climbed down and propped himself against the trunk. His eyes shut and he drifted off into a comfortable sleep.

_"Mommy!" Inu Yasha could see himself running to his mother. His body was small and light. He felt like he had trouble sticking to the ground, like at any moment he would float away and fall backwards, into the sky above him. He flung himself around her and the two of them held each other in a tight warm hug for a long time. She was so warm and soft that it made him feel drowsy and high. He felt her arms disappear and his body couldn't even feel andy residing warmth from the embrace. And all of a sudden, the floor, as if it had existed solely because of his mother, was gone, and he fell: down, down, down. At first he felt nauseous, and then, the nausea faded slowly, by degrees until he had become so accustomed to the feeling that when he felt the ground beneath him again, he was almost surprised._

_Kagome was there and she smiled and talked in dream speak to him and he understood what she was saying. Then, he got off the ground and started to walk with her down a path lined with trees. As they walked, the trees grew rapidly and beautiful, pink blossoms filled in the green and flooded his senses, overwhelming him with the beauty and fascination he had with the things. Concurrently, something strange began to happen to Kagome and Inu Yasha watched with particular curiosity as her clothing began to wither away. The trees' pink flowers were gone now and they were filling in quite nicely with apples. The red fruits glittered with unearthly shine and fullness. He reached out to touch Kagome but didn't feel human skin. Instead, rough brown bark rubbed against his fingers, splintering them. He felt overwhelmed and heavy, like his body was pulling him downwards. He collapsed onto the ground and closed his eyes and saw nothing._

Inu Yasha's eyes lifted slowly as the sounds of wind, cars, and people filled his ears. He was surprised to find himself wrapped around the tree he slept against. Almost as to be expected, his fingers were splintered with tree bark and he colorfully remembered the section in his dream where this had happened. The splinters did sting a little when he pulled them out, but they were really nothing more than a minor inconvenience. He stood up and gathered his things near the base of the tree and noticed a folded piece of paper laying near where he had been sleeping. He figured it was one of his own so he picked it up and looked at it. It had his name printed on it so he opened it.

_Hi Inu Yasha!_

_I came by to see you and you were sleeping, so, yeaaa, I didn't want to wake you up. You've been tired lately, I think you might be getting sick. Hope you feel better over the weekend. Excited about Sango's birthday?_

_-Kagome_

She drew a little picture above the words of herself sitting against a tree alone, resting her oversized head on her hands. She looked at him boredly and the speech bubble next to her head said "Maybe on monday?" He laughed at the note and the crudely drawn mini Kagome. After re reading it, he pushed it into his coat pocket and turned towards home.

* * *

When he got home, he was not surprised to find his house empty. He didn't know where his father was, but he was pretty sure he knew what he was doing. As he walked into the kitchen he noticed yet another note taped to the fridge.

_Went out. Be back around tuesday._

_Clean the house while I'm gone._

_There's twenty dollars on the counter._

It was an unsigned note, although Inu Yasha didn't really see the purpose of a signature. Who else would be writing the note to him? To his pleasure, he found ten dollars on the kitchen counter. One may think that he would spend the money on chocolate for Sango, and then, not have to worry about getting caught, but then he would have to steal food from the grocery store, which would be harder, since he would have to steal more. He left the money on the counter, and walked to his bedroom, where Shippou was sleeping under his bed sheets. The boy had grown accustomed to this, since, in the occasion that Inu Yasha's father would go into his bedroom (Inu Yasha didn't think he normally did this) he might not easily see Shippou. And that was good, as he shuddered to think of what would happen if  
Shippou was discovered in the house. He felt his stomach turn as the thought lit up in the back of his mind.

He sat on the bed and Shippou made a soft greeting sound like a purr. Inu Yasha smiled at the sound and stroked the kitten's head with three of his fingers. Shippou stretched out in his place and then rose to his feet, stretching again. He padded over to Inu Yasha and collapsed onto his legs, soft warm fluff heating Inu Yasha's legs. Until he felt the warmth of the boy's body, he didn't realize how chilly he had been. It was starting to get pretty cold outside since winter was just kicking in. He placed a warm hand on Shippou and the kitten purred loudly. Shippou opened his eyes and then, too Inu Yasha's discomfort, the cat transformed into a boy on his lap. The cracking and twisting and turning of bones made him feel queasy. Shippou however, seemed nonplused. He looked over to Inu Yasha and, after having fully wakened from his cat nap, said to him, "Some one came over here."

"To the house?" Inu Yasha sounded surpried.

"Yes."

"Was it a man or woman."

"A man." he replied.

"What did they do?" he asked.

"Um, well the man talked to him for a little bit. I'm not sure what they were talking about though. They were making plans I think. They only stayed for a while, and then they left together in their cars." he reported.

"That's weird. I always imagine my father as staying home all day drinking and doing nothing." he said thoughtfully. "I wonder how he makes money."

"Well, he does go out sometimes." Shippou said. "And once in a whle, he has people over here."

"Who?"

"Well, sometimes some men will be here and-"

"Do women come over?" he asked tenatively.

"Yeah, sometimes they do. Although they dont really talk much so it's hard to tell, really." Inu Yasha felt his spine tingle. "But mostly men. They talk a little more, but they usually dont stay that long. They go places a lot."

"Oh ..." he said and tried not to think about the things that his father and the man were doing. He sat in silence for a small while until he turned to Shippou and spoke. "You want to buy groceries with me?" he asked.

"Sure!"

He strolled down the aisles of wrapped and canned edibles and Shippou commented hungrily on the items, usually to be turned down by Inu Yasha, who wanted only to get the most food out of his twenty dollars as he could. He bought two six packs of instant ramen. Technically, he could have bought twnety dollars worth of instant ramen and would have enough food to eat for the next three months, but decided he needed food with nuttritional value. So he just bought two different flavors. He picked out a half gallon of the cheapest milk he could find and placed it into the basket. He also picked out some chicken and beef and some frozen food. Out of pure indulgence, he even picked out vanilla frozen sweet cream treats for him and Shippou. (As it turned out, the chocolate milk he had at Kagome's made him feel a little queasy.) He checked out and was left with only a dollar and seventy three cents worth of change, which he would end up shoving underneath his matress with his other saved money.

Shopping took about an hour or so. He used half the beef and cooked it for food for both of them and then cooked up a packet of chicken ramen and shared it with Shippou. The boy loved the broth but didnt much care for the noodles, so Inu Yasha ended up eating most of them, and in turn, gave Shippou most of the beef, which he held a strong preference for. After dinner he retired to his room and drew there. He could have sat on the sofa or anywhere else in the house, but felt most comfortable in the cramped room he slept in. He had come to know the place as a safe haven. He had never been beaten there.

He took out the paper on which he had begun to sketch out the tiger from his book. He didn't plan on making a body, only a head and shoulders. The basic outline was finished, he just needed to mark out the areas in which he would put each color he had taken from the art class. Shippou crawled next to him and curled up against his leg and slept there as Inu Yashas drew and colored. He drew late into the night, and by the time he was tired enough to sleep, he had finished nearly half of the coloring. Some trouble with the eyes held him up, but he felt he had done satisfactory enough work within the time he used.

He woke up the next morning at around eight thirty. He wanted to try to fall back asleep, but found he couldn't, which irritated him since he still felt tired. After lying in bed for about an hour, he began to feel restless and got up to start back at drawing his present for Sango. He still planned on getting her chocolate since just making something made him feel like he was 'cheap'.

Shippou wanted to go catch himself some breakfast, although he did have a couple sips of the ramen Inu Yasha ate. He had grown so used to not eating that he didn't really even feel that hungry, but was so comforted to know that he could eat breakfast that he did so anyway. He felt so secure having food in the house that was just for him. He found himself making frequent visits to the fridge and pantry, not to eat, but just to look at the food.

* * *

At around eleven, he planned to walk over to the shops. The walk would take an hour, more or less, and by that time, he figured they would be overflowing with people eating lunch at the nearby resturaunts. He figured the trip would take, in all, around three hours.

As he was about fifteen minutees into his walk, the realization struck him that Kagome's house (well, shrine, technically) was on the way to the shop. Feelling a strong obligation to visit her, he decided to stop by her house and say hi. He walked up the stone steps leading to the entrance and through the beautiful black iron gates. Peace overwhelmed him. Kagome's mother answered the door.

The woman smiled softly at him and the resemblance she had to her daughter made his hairs rise on his arm. "Hello honey." she said with a smile, and wrapped her arms around him in a wamr hug. She pulled away and smiled some more. "I suppose you're looking for Kagome?"

"Huh. um, yeah." he said as he turned a soft shade of pink and looked downwards submissively.

"Aw, I'm sorry dear, she's at Sango's." the woman said and looked at him sadly. "But you just must join me for tea!" she took his arm softly. "What do you say?" she said cheerfully.

Inu Yasha's eyes darted around and away from Ms. Higurashi and he 'um'ed softly. "Come on, it'll be fun!" He looked up at the adult and smiled. He'd only stay a little while, he decided. Ms Higurashi led him to the section of the shrine where she lived with Kagome. He followed her and stuck close. The hallways in the shrine were a work of art, interweaved so intricately, and he wondered who could have designed such a complex masterpiece.

He stepped insided the classically decorated living area after the woman in front of him. She pulled a hot pot off of the stove and placed it on a circular wooden block, then slipped an oven mitt like slip over the pot handle. The two sat down and stirred their drinks for a while before Inu Yasha commented. "Your house is really nice. All this furniture looks really old."

"Hm, I just love the old fashioned Japanese style things in here. I feel so at home with them, you know. I like to think about the memories that are contained inside this furniture. It's old, this table, maybe a hundred and fifty years. I like to imagine the woodworker crafting it, planning it, carving out each intricate detail. I imagine he must have been so proud of his work." she said.

"It's a really nice table." he remarked and noticed for the first time the flowers that the craftsman had carved into its side so many years ago.

"Yes, it is. There is so many beautiful things in the world, but it feels like we are all too busy to notice them sometimes." she said sadly. "Sometimes we take for granted the ability to see such beautiful things. It's unfortunate, but at least you can see it."

"Uh." he hummed. "I guess I never really thought about it that way."

"Oh, of course not! Everything now is made by machines and then copied hundreds and thousands of times! Nothing has originality anymore. That's why I take pictures." she said. "Because you can make with a machine, the same chair or picture again and again, but with photography, you capture the essence of time; the moment." she said. "And as you click the button and the light flashes, you've just captured and frozen time. And the next time you take a picture, it wont be the same moment." she said.

"I draw pictures." Inu Yasha said softly.

"Yes, Kagome once told me that you made beautiful things. Do you have with you any pictures?" she asked him, curiously.

"No, I'm working on one right now though." he looked to his tea and took interest in the way that the light on the surface changed as he moved his head from side to side.

"What medium?" she asked.

"Oil pastel sticks." he said.

"Oh, I've not worked much with those." she commented.

"You draw too?"

"Oh no, not draw, but I once did something where I would take black and white photos and use watercolors to make them look colorful." I liked it, but it felt like I was changing the moment, so I stopped. Not to mention it took way too long to color the photos and I would often mess up and then have to waste paper to print out more copies and recolor them."

"Oh." he said. "Sounds difficult."

"And it was! Being an artist is not easy. Is that what you want to do, Inu Yasha, draw?" she asked.

"Um, I don't know, I mean, I wanna go to college and ... um, I guess it would be nice but ... I still have a while to go before high school is over and ... um ... I guess what I'm trying to say is I have no idea." He blurted out messily. His inability to speak to people older and bigger than him became even more blatantly obvious as their conversation progressed.

The woman laughed and patted his back softly. "Don't worry, Inu Yasha, you have your whole life ahead of you. You're a good boy, you'll do well. I'm sure." she said assuringly.

"I hope so." he grunted out. The woman smiled at him.

"I remember when I was young I wanted to be a doctor." She laughed hard. "I was wrong about that! Turns out, I did horribly in science and held no interest in any of it. I guess it just seemed so easy." she said. "But, getting married ended up being a fine replacement for a long term job. My photography money did help though." she added.

"Hm." he took another sip of his tea.

"I bet you wish you could just stay a teenager forever. It would be so easy to have everything always taken care of for you, hm?" she said and Inu Yasha laughed inside at the irony of the statement.

"It would be nice for everything to always be taken care of for you." he said matter of factlly.

"Being a teenager was so fun; for me anyways. It was when I met my husband." she said.

"Oh, yes." he said and felt uncomfortable as the knowledge of his death lingered thick in the air. "Kagome ... she says that you were very close." he said.

"Ah, yes. We were close, so close, and you should have seen, Inu Yasha, what a happy family we made." He looked over to her and was surprised to see her smiling so happily. He looked away and wanted to leave the room; the envy was driving him insane. Only the thought that her husband was no longer here reminded him of the mortality of the happiness of what sounded like such a family. "Do you believe in fate?" she asked.

"No. I mean ... I don't think that there's like ... some god up there who rewards you for doing good things and stuff, or punishes you for being bad." he said tenatively, trying to avoid possibly insulting her.

"Yes. I agree with you. Although, if you don't mind me asking, why do you think so?" she asked.

"Because ... the bad people always get away with everything and all the good stuff people do goes ... unnoticed. And besides, its not like everything we do is because he have to do it. People who blame things they do 'supernatural' things ... I guess they seem like cowards to me is all. It just upsets me that they don't feel guilty about doing bad things because they think its something else's fault." he said, and noticed that he hadn't spoken that much the entire time he was at her home.

"You're smart." she said and smiled. "People don't usually think about things like that until they're older. But then, you're not like most people." she said and smiled softly.

"You and Kagome have the exact same smile, you know?" he said. The woman looked at him strangely and then laughed a little.

"I guess after you spend enough time with someone, you start acting like them, hm?" she said.

"Hm." Inu Yasha finished the last of his tea and licked the wetness away from his lips.

"You're finished?" she asked. "Would you like some more?"

"Oh, um, no thanks, but do you have the time?" he asked.

"Ah, yes, it''s eleven forty eight." she said as she checked her wristwatch. Inu Yasha felt his hairs stand on end.

"Oh, um, I'm sorry, but I've kind of got to go now." he said and stood, taking his cup from the table.

"You're sure you wouldn't like something else; tea, food? I really don't mind having you here." she said, trying to sound as welcome as she could. He smiled and sunk into his shoulders.

"I'm sorry ... I'm kind of busy ... But it was fun coming over." he said softly.

"Oh, okay then, I'll escort you to the door then." she said, perfectly aware he couldn't find his way to it by himself.

The two stood by the door, and she shared a few last words with him before she said goodbye. She gave him a hug and a few words of encouragement and he was on his way. "I'll tell Kagome you came by. I'm sure she'll be upset she missed you."

He didn't get to the chocolate shop until around what was actually around twelve forty five. The shops were less crowded than he had hoped for, which, he knew, would make it harder to steal the chocolates. He made sure to wear a basebal cap to hide his ears and carried a bag with him to place the chocolates in. The candy store was not crowded, almost at all. He was upset, but he was a good thief, he was sure he could do it.

He strolled around the aisles casually, examining the candy for a box, or something that would be easy to take. He finally set his sights on something that looked good because, for one, it was in a place where the cashier could not see, and two, it was thin , so it would not bulk in his bag when he put it in there. He exited the store, because he knew if he stayed too long, the cashier would realize he was not going to buy anything. He walked around the area the store was on, but avoided being seen from the glass windows that allowed customers to see in. Five to ten minutes later, he came back and walked to the box of chocolates he wasnted. His face was stiff and feigned curiousity in all the edibles the store contained.

He picked up the box and put it in his bag, which was already open, with unusual swiftness. He then looked around casually and walked to the door like nothing had happened. He held his breath as he walked out of the store and a wave of relief struck him as he placed his foot on the sidewalked where the store opened up to.

And then, he cringed as a hand grabbed his arm tightly and he turned to face a tall man in his forties, looking down on him. It was the owner.

"Excuse me sir," he said coldly, "but you are going to have to return the item you just stole."

**_Author's Notes_**

Ooh! Suspense! Gasp! Will he run away? get arrested? Will the man feel bad for him and let him go? Will Shippou ever do anything but look really cute? And a long chapter too! I hope you enjoyed the newest installment of AFILAW. This one was really fun to write. Its like 4500 words long, but it went by so fast. Now that I have the plot on a roll, I am having a lot more fun writing than I was having just bitching about how Inu Yasha feels. Now, I am attempting to show how he feels by describing his actions and using dialogue instead of just coming out and saying "he was scared/happy/angry".

Anyways, it was fun writing on Kagome's mom. She acts kind of ... immature sometimes, but really, she's a very intelligent lady, and not to mention, she ADORES Inu yasha. If she didn't know how shy and timid he is, I bet she'd be of those moms who talks to boys about how happy they'll be when they marry their daughter. No, wait, she's not retarded. Never mind.

Well, this was really fun. I can't wait to write the part when he finally goes to Sango's birthday. OOOH, I'M EXCITED! Yummy stuff is gonna happen! Woo! I'm happy.

Until next time lovies.


	34. Release

**_All's Fair in Love in War_**

**Chapter Thirty Three**

_Release  
_  
The man looked down at him and stared at him like he was gum stuck to his shoe. This, he knew, didn't have anything to do with racism. Even though, with his ears covered, it was still pretty obvious he had at least some demon blood in him, this matter was more personal than the stereotype that Inu yasha was presently supporting.

Inu Yasha froze at the contact. The man looked at him angrily, and hatefully, and Inu Yasha couldnít think. He didnít breath or move for a while. He could just feel adrenaline pump through his veins and could literally _feel_ his heart thrashing around inside his chest. He didnít know what to do. The only thing he was aware of was a base instinctual urge that repeated in the back of his head like a tape recording.

'_Run! Run! Run!'_

And that was exactly what he did.

If he stayed and gave the chocolates back, the man might have called the police, and the last thing a half demon boy needed was a criminal record. By running, he did have the risk of getting caught, which might not be best if he planned to beg for his release later. But amazingly, he got away. He ripped away from the man's grip and tore down the street. The mere fact that he didn't knock someone down was amazing in itself.

His heart was beating so fast in his chest, he felt it knock against his rib cage and it almost hurt, since his ribs had been broken on numerous occasions. He didn't feel the pain in his chest though. He also didn't feel it in his legs, arms, nor any other part of his body. This is how it got when he was so afraid.

Even when his father beat him, he could sometimes phase out from the pain because of the adrenaline. Unfortunately, aside from not feeling the pain, he also could not think straight. He lost sense of direction, and when he came to, he sometimes would forget what had happened before.

After the rush wore off enough, he realized he was running very quickly in the wrong direction. Everything that he had not felt before came back and hit him like a pack of bricks. His legs stung and felt numb because his body was unable to supply ample blood flow to them. His fingers hurt from grasping the box too tightly, he had a sore in his shoulder from the strap of his messenger bag digging into it, and his chest felt like he downed a shot of oil and then swallowed a lit match.

He sat down on a sidewalk and rested. He was in the more urban area at the moment, so he fit right in with the crowds of people, despite the fact that his hat had blown away as he was running. Somehow, no one cared to take notice of the little half breed who was resting on the sidewalk. No one cared.

After regaining his breath, he returned home, tired, his only motivation keeping him from falling asleep on the sidewalk being the fact that he wanted to see Shippou, to make sure he was safe.

He arrive home about an hour and a half later. He felt exhausted after the excursion which had taken him nearly twice as long as he had originally thought. He had stopped for tea with Ms Higurashi and had run mindlessly in the wrong direction for an unknown amount of time. He had needed time to recuperate after the run and then had to backtrack, weary of the angry shop owner from whom he had stolen chocolate.

Finally, and for the first time in his life, he was happy to see his house. He ran the last couple yards and dashed into his room, collapsing on his mattress and immediately feeling relief flush through his body.

Shippou had picked up his scent from outside and was soon perched on top of the window sill. The kitten looked very relieved to see him. He jumped down and landed on his feet clumsily on the mattress. 'Inu Yasha, why are you so late?' he asked.

Inu Yasha lay panting on the bed for a few more seconds before he replied. "I got caught." The boy's eyes widened.

"What happened? Are you okay? Did you still get what you wanted?" the boy threw questions at him mercilessly.

"I'm fine. I just ... freaked out. I cant explain it but ... I wasn't in control of my body. I felt afraid when the shop owner caught me. I just ran. But I was running in the wrong direction. So I had to backtrack after I ... woke up, I guess. " Inu Yasha's breathing had quickly regulated, but the pain in his legs was just continuing to get stronger. He felt sore, but he knew that it would go away over night, so he tried his best to ignore it. Ignoring pain was starting to become a talent he could exercise on a regular basis.

Shippou crawled on top of Inu Yasha's body and started to make a grunting sound that resembled a purr. Even in his human form, he did this and Inu Yasha couldnít help but laugh a little and Shippouís body jiggled around as his chest shook. "What?" he asked.

Inu Yasha just shook his head. "Nothing, nothing." He stroked Shippouís hair and was surprised to find he could find no fuzzy ears.

He sat up immediately, frightened by their sudden disappearance. Shippou looked startled. "What's the matter?" he asked, worried.

Inu Yasha's mouth fell open. "Your ... your ears! Where did they go!" He looked at the boy, wide eyed, for a moment and then a Shippou's face lit up, as if he suddenly remembered something.

"Oh yeah! I can transform fully now!" The boy got off of him and then stood on the bed. He turned around. "See, no tail!" He wagged his rear in front of Inu Yasha and danced a little. Inu Yasha smiled although he didn't feel happy.

"Good for you. Youíre getting older, huh?" He felt nauseous as he watched the only person he knew who understood what it was like to look different become completely human. Shippou was just like them now.

Shippou giggled in little squeaks and fell onto Inu Yasha's chest, vibrating as he purred. Inu Yasha smiled for the boyís happiness. It was good that he looked like everyone else now. It only served to hide the truth that he was so very different, a mask that Inu Yasha had never tried on before. He felt tired so he closed his eyes, and woke up an hour and a half later.

His eyes widened sleepily and he blinked a few times as his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting in the room. The sun was setting now. His mouth was dry and there resided a taste so foul that he kept his mouth open and breathed only through his nose to avoid tasting it. Shippou was lying down near his legs, curled into a loose ball. He stood up, groggy, and made his way to the kitchen aand ran water over his mouth. After swishing it around his mouth for a while, he spit the water out and then took a few more sips to wash down any remaining taste.

His stomach grumbled and he suddenly realized he was very hungry. He looked in the pantry and took out a can of tuna. After pulling the tab back, he took out a fork and ate the rest voraciously. It was enough to keep his small stomach occupied for the moment, so he threw his shirt off as he passed the small room with a washer and dryer and went into the bathroom, turning on the hot water before he removed the rest of his clothing. He placed one bare foot into the puddle of water beneath the shower head that gathered around the drain to check whether the water was warm.

Deciding it was okay, he stepped into it and felt himself relax as the hot water splashed against his skin and trickled down his torso. He sat down on the shower floor and rubbed his leg. The hot water running against it made it feel better, looser. He squeezed the sore muscle tissue and flinched at the initial pain it caused him, but eventually got used to it and rubbed it harder. He then switched to the other leg and continued to massage it.

As he rubbed the sore calf, he realized for the first time how scarred his hands were. The marks healed very well, so they were almost not noticable at all. He knew that some of them were from cooking. Back when he was younger, his hands were sloppy with the knife and his fingers were always cut. He wore bandaids all the time, he remembered. His father would buy them for him, and it didn't make sense to him now. The abuse was still very light then, so maybe his father didn't want it to look like it was him doing it, because he felt guilty.

His hands were covered with nicks, and his body, it was covered with scars. He felt like a diary of every negative emotion his father ever had. He tried not to think about all of the scars, and the stories behind them. Each mark brought back such bad memories, it was almost to much to notice ... it was easier to forget about them and move on. There were more important things to care about.

He looked down at his chest, for the first time in a while and looked at the letters carved into his flesh. Unloved.

The cuts hurt ... but the words struck deeper.

Why was it that words could be so strangely unnerving? He fingered the scars. They stuck out so obviously. They were darker than the rest of his skin and only a little bumpy. He felt uncomfortable and realized now that no one could ever see him. No one could see these scars, ever.

He reached around and touched the scar on his back he had gotten on the morning before school started. It was bumpy and uneven, only slightly. It hadn't healed well. He had gotten so used to treating wounds that he was almost confused that it had healed so awkwardly. But then he remembered Kagome. Was she so distracting that he forgot to treat his cuts? Then again, it did make sense. She was so warm, and her hair smelled so nice, and her hands were always so soft.

She was such a pretty girl, so pretty, so pretty.

He felt himself grow tense and he pulled his legs in close to him as he sat, rubbing his face on his knees. His eyes began to burn and he tried to freeze his face as he fought back tears. But it was too strong, the stress and sadness came out in one big rush as he hiccuped a single gasping sob and collapsed into a fit of shaking. Tears rolled down his face and the saline mixed with with the shower water. His body was racked with a sudden pain that he knew wasn't from the running, or the beatings. His chest felt like it was squeezing his heart and lungs.

He rubbed his body, desperately trying to clean it.  
**_  
Author's Notes_**

By the way, the spanish i's don't go away ... so I have to fix them manually in the edit section every time I upload a chapter.

You know what guys, today I saw the movie 'V for Vendettaí and I gotta say, it was probably one of the best movies I have ever seen. Ever. I am just in awe. Touched. Shocked. I HAVE to buy it! It was amazing! AMAZING! I loved it!

After some sighing and reminiscing ...

Holy S--T! That last part was ... um ... yeah. I'll stop talking now. Say, anyone know how to deep read?

Anyways ... I could have made this chapter longer, but I really wanted to rub the last part in all your faces. This chapter is around 3000 words so that is long enough. I hope you enjoyed it. In the next chapter, I basically run through the entire week up till friday next chapter so Sangoís birthday is coming pretty soon. I'm trying to move things along faster. MY GOD THIS STORY IS SO LONG! YAAY! I cant believe it'll be longer than a hundred thousand words! Mmm, joy.


	35. Tensions Building

**_All's Fair in Love and War_**

**Chapter Thirty Four**

_Tensions Building_

Inu Yasha spent most of Saturday finishing Sango's picture. Shippou hunted a lot. Even though they actually had food now, he still insisted on getting his own food. He knew that Inu Yasha didn't have an infinite supply of food like he did. Shippou lived off the earth and the small animals on it, but Inu Yasha, he had to buy food. He wasn't adapted to eating raw food, or diseased food. Albeit, he did survive on garbage on several occasions, but that did not make it healthy for him.

He had finished the present for her and was a little disappointed in some of the detail on the chest, but in all, he was pleased with his work. He decided it would be a satisfactory present for his friend.

He woke up a little earlier than usual on Monday, which was probably because he had gotten a lot more sleep than he needed on Saturday night. After getting on some pants after getting out of the shower, he collapsed onto his bed and fell asleep. He felt dizzy and tired. He woke up the next morning at eleven and decided to clean up some things around the house because his father may not beat him when he came back to the house if maybe, it looked a little nicer.

He walked to school unsure whether or not to run a little faster and sit with Kagome or to stay at a slower pace and miss her. He instead walked and then run, frequently changing his mind. As it turned out, he arrived at the tree a little earlier.

But she wasn't there.

He stood there for a moment before the first bell rang and he turned on his heel and headed toward his classroom. He assumed his seat next to her and his head flicked towards her every so often. When their eyes made contact she gave him half of a smile and inside, he cringed. He returned the grin tentatively and stared down at the floor in front of his desk. His face felt a little warm. He distracted him self by taking up a sudden cusiousity with his fingernails. They were beginning to get sharp. He would have to cut them so people wouldn't feel threatened by him.

Kagome turned towards him and he saw her looking in his peripheral vision. He returned the gaze and Kagome spurted out very quickly, "You came by on Saturday?"

"Yeah." A small, meek smile curved his lip upwards.

"My mom told me about it. She really thinks a lot of you." she said. "I'm sorry I wasn't there. Sango and me were out buying things for the party. She's so excited about it." Kagome made a squinty kind of happy face and squeaked. "It's so cute!" Kagome giggled girlishly.

Inu Yasha smiled back and couldn't think of something to say. Fortunately enough. he didn't have to, because Ms Kikyo approached the class and their eyes were instantly directed to her.

* * *

At lunch that day, he arrived first, with Miroku ina close second. The dark haired boy sat down in front of Inu Yasha and smiled. "Guess what, Inu Yasha?" 

"What?"

"I GOT IT!"

"Got what?"

"Well, only the perfect gift for Sango!" he said loudly, almost scaring the half demon. Inu Yasha's ears flicked back against his head and he flinched.

"O-oh." he stuttered, after regaining composure. "What is it?"

"Oh, you'll have to wait to find that out." He said smoothly. He seemed very excited about giving it to her, though. InuYasha figured it must have been difficult to hold the secret in, but then, he probably did it because he wanted it to remain a secret. Not that Inu Yasha would tell Sango and ruin the surprise, though.

Inu Yasha smiled and shrugged, and then he caught site of Kagome. He waved and grinned at her and then redirected his attention to Miroku. Kagome took a seat next to Inu Yasha and smiled and clapped her hands. "Only five more days!" Everyone was so excited about the party. Inu Yasha was as well. He couldn't wait to give Sango his gifts.

Eventually, the girl came huffing across the courtyard, and dumped her backpack on the lunch table. Inu Yasha looked up at her and suddenly remembered a very important question he needed to ask.

"Sango?" he said.

"Yeah?" she smiled at him as she siped bangs out of her forehead.

"Can I bring my cat to your party?" he asked.

Sango laughed. "Cat? I don't understand? Why would you bring a cat?"

"Oh, um, I mean, well, he's really more like a person, really. He's a ... um, a demon."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Sure? I don't mind." she said and smiled.

* * *

Before he knew it, it was Wednesday. He looked inside the pantry and noticed that there was only three packs of instant ramen left. He realized that the initial shock of receiving food money from his father would have been less if he knew that all this food had to last him until whenever his father felt like coming home. 

He sighed after closing the pantry door, deciding to wait until later to eat dinner. Supposedly, you burn calories slower when you sleep, and he planned to take full advantage of that fact. He lay down on his bed and Shippou soon came to join him. As if by instinct, he reached out to scratch Shippou's ears and the disappointing fact that they were gone surprised him again, as it had been doing ever since he found out the boy's new talent.

He felt so different now, so not Shippou. But his mind constantly reminded him that Shippou was no different. He was still as nice and affectionate and universally appealing. He soon realized that he should not have felt bad in the first place. After all, the human form was an illusion. He was a demon, just like himself. (Kind off like himself at least.)

While on the subject of illusions, he allowed himself to be bothered by the most irritating mystery of Kagome. He knew she wasn't human, but then what the hell was she? Just because it seemed so obvious to him, he sometimes wondered if maybe she was an angel. He could imagine her suddenly sprouting giant white feathered wings mad then flying away. He remembered her telling him she wanted badly to fly. so maybe she was a flightless angel. Like one of those poor species of birds who are unfortunate enough to be a bird, have wings, and yet, never be able to use them. But Kagome was no penguin, she was something more. Something amazing. Though, somehow, he could never find the right time to ask her what it was she originated from.

Inu Yasha was not one to arbitrarily bring up subject matter that was so foreign and unusual. Asking some one what race of creatures they came from would definitely qualify for 'foreign', so he just avoided it. However, he swore that he would find a time to ask her. But the time would gave to be right, and the conversation would have to lead to it. Lately, he hadn't spoken much with Kagome, and a small guilt was beginning to grow inside of him. She did matter so much to him, after all.

He came home from school at around five and only did so because Shippou was there alone and he didn't want him to be there alone. His father could come home at any time. When he got home he went straight to his room and called to Shippou from the window. After a few seconds he heard him come bounding gracefully through the lawn. He leapt and landed with precision on the window sill and rubbed against the arm that Inu Yasha rested there. He smiled and almost laughed because the cat behavior just looked kind of awkward when he was in human form. He picked up Shippou and sat on the bed with him.

"You know, your dad's been gone a long time. When is he going to come back?" the boy asked, as if Inu Yasha was just finding out from him now that his father had been missing for almost a week. This was not uncommon, honestly, and Inu Yasha could recall several accounts on which his father had been out of the house for more than two weeks and had left him no money. He supposed that the fact that his dad had been acting so strangely lately may have added to his reaction to the man's disappearance. For the first time he felt something other than anger and sadness at his disappearance. It was almost as if he was afraid. He fell confused and preferred not to think about it a lot.

"Yeah, I know." he remarked. "But he's always done stuff like this. I remember when I was little, he disappeared for nine days. I thought he had died and I started crying." He pulled his knees in and looked down at Shippou. "I don't know what the hell I was crying about. I had given up on him way before then. Anyways, he came home that day, slapped me for crying and me to stop being a pussy." He immediately clapped his hand over his mouth. "Oh! Don't say that word again! I don't usually use those words and all, but it is what he said."

Shippou looked confused and Inu Yasha quickly caught on that he didn't know which word was bad. Shippou looked at him for a while and frowned. "Why does your dad be so mean to you?" He asked him. The incorrect grammar made the serious question seem a little humorous.

"I ... I don't know?" he said and shrugged. "He's just mean. He just hates ... everything! I'd feel bad for him if he weren't such a horrible person all the time."

"Feel bad for him! Why?" Shippou screeched.

"Well, I don't know ..." Inu Yasha said as he pinched a piece of blanket between his fingers. "I mean ... something had to have happened to him to make him this way." He paused and took in a deep and shaky breath. "Sometimes I think that my mom was the only person he could really love." He took another pause before continuing. "Then again, I also think that he completely lacks the ability to love anything at all."

Shippou sat quietly and looked at Inu Yasha so seriously, absorbing the information. Inu Yasha turned to him and his lips creased into a smile. "Sometimes, Shippou, I feel like you actually understand everything I'm saying, even though you're so young,"

"I do, I do! Really!" Inu Yasha had the idea that maybe he enjoyed being thought of as an 'adult'. (or something close to it)

"You're growing really fast. When I first met you, you could hardly walk straight." A tiny bundle of laughter bubbled up from his throat. "But I mean, now you can fully transform and you-"

Suddenly, Shippou's cat ears grew from the top of his head and stood alert there, swerving around like they were trying to pick up a sound.

"What is it?" Inu Yasha asked.

"I hear someone walking. Towards here." Inu Yasha listened, and sat perfectly still, but could hear nothing.

"What are you talking about? No one's coming, I can't hear anything."

"No no no, just listen. I swear I hear something." the cat boy said and held out his hand. Inu Yasha, swayed by Shippou's persistence, sat silently again and listened for something, anything. His ears shuffled through the different sounds it could receive and searched for footsteps. After about half a minute of searching he finally picked it up. He closed his eyes and focused in on it. The vibrations were light, and then heavy, and whatever it was he heard was injured.

Suddenly Shippou clung to Inu Yasha. "Who is it? I think it's that guy!" He buried his face into Inu Yasha's side. "The one your dad was talking to! He's coming for us!" Inu Yasha's heart started to beat faster. When his father was home with him, that was bad, but when his friends were with him, it only got worse.

"Stay here." Inu Yasha said sternly and he started to walk towards the door. He cracked it open and his breath got caught in his chest when he saw who was limping down the street. He tentatively walked towards his father and raised a hand. His expression was confused understandably, especially since his father was clutching at his side and he smelt something in the air; salty and musky. It was almost too much like blood.

The scent interested him so deeply that he stumbled out halfway down his drive way slowly were he met his father. The man looked at him and made a discontented moaning sound. He clutched his side with one arm and the other dangled uselessly at his side.

Inu Yasha looked dumbly upon him, dizzied by the state his father was in. Limping along, grasping at his side; he looked so pathetic then. Inu Yasha knew that the man was trying very hard to look strong in front of him, of course he was, he would not look weak in front of the boy. But Inu Yasha's eyes were well trained to detect discomfort, and he could quickly locate the pain that danced in the man's eyes and related to the feeling. Inu yasha could have laughed at the man's failed attempts to keep his composure and was distracted by it almost to the extent that he didn't wonder why the man was grasping his side in the first place until a bit later.

The man eventually limped to where Inu Yasha was standing and grunted to note his existence. Inu yasha walked towards the house as his father passed him, and he stood a little to the side and behind him as he asked, "What's the matter?"

He was sure the man heard what he said, however, he did not answer. He just continued to wobble to the door, fruitlessly attempting to hide the discomfort his side was causing him. He followed the man into the kitchen where he pulled out a wad of cash, and placed it with a smack on the counter. He then fished around in his pocket and pulled out a plastic ziploc bag which contained a substance that the man examined for only a small amount of time until he placed it back into his pocket.

Inu Yasha stood, fish-faced, as he watched his father reach around inside his pockets. He sometimes thought it easier to ignore the means by which the man brought money to feed the dying animal of a family he lived in, that continued to limp along pathetically, even though it clearly should be shot and put out of its misery. The man proceeded to remove his jacket, slowly because of the pain in his side, and then started to unbutton his undershirt. Inu Yasha was beyond surprised that he was doing this in front of him. Why was he being so open?

The man removed his shirt and only his bare bloated gut was showing. Wrapped around his abdomen was a white bandage, saturated with blood in one concentrated area to the side of his belly button. After his attention on the blood had faded he noticed a curious scar on his fathers chest that had not healed so well. And then he began to focus his eyes in on the man's torso in the short amount of time he had to view it. He hadn't noticed before, but the man's body was very badly scarred. He even noticed a few circular burns on his side.

Was what his father did on the weekends so terribly dangerous?

Why was he hurting himself like this so badly?

Unless ... was it ... intentional?

Inu Yasha quickly shoved the thought aside. If his father cut up his own body, then wouldn't he just be content doing that and leaving Inu Yasha alone? The world didn't make sense anymore. He felt a wave of confusion mix his senses. He needed to ask the man what happened. "You got hurt?"

The man heaved two sarcastic chuckles and commented dryly, "Really?" His rough voice cloaked the potential humor and only made Inu Yasha a little afraid. Technically, a little more afraid, seeing as being around the man put him in a constant state of terror.

"What happened? Did you fight with someone?" he asked softly. He tried to make his voice as quiet as he could possibly make it, so as to assure the man he was not trying to sound rude or offensive.

"Nah, it's nothin'. Just fucking hurts like hell." he spat.

Inu Yasha tugged uncomfortably on the side of his mouth and slumped, his eyes crawling all over the flooring of his kitchen. "You okay?" he whispered, and in a strange way, part of him really wanted to know.

The man looked at him, but Inu Yasha did not see him, only heard him snort something out like "It's fine."

He bobbed his head, not really because he acknowledged what the man had said but more because he just felt the need to move: to do something. He felt nervous and the bare soles of his feet, which clung to the kitchen floor, made a sticky sound when he rose up on his tiptoes, and then rocked back to his heel.

He was anxious, but endurably so.

* * *

The rest of the week passed by, bland moment after moment. Why was it, he wondered, that these things in life that used to make him so full of emotion, now only served to provide momentary salvation from boredom? Was it that he had grown so used to life that it became a pattern? And that all the colors and shades of excitement blended together into some off-putting brown-grey? 

He felt like there was an invisible wall built that separated him from life. But where did it come from? It wasn't there before. He remembered, some time ago, when his friends- Miroku, Sango, Kagome- made him feel so happy, but now he just wanted to run away from everything, from his school and his home. It was almost as if he felt afraid. But what was so scary about a nice girl like Kagome?

On Friday, he waited on a particularly thick branch of his favorite tree, the same one he usually sat on, and sat peacefully there. Occasionally, his ears would flicker towards sounds that piqued his interest and he would listen to a bird sing, or a car grumble by. It was very quiet in his school after the children had left and he took advantage of the silence to sort all his muddled thoughts. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore. Everything he used to think either didn't make sense anymore, or was forgotten.

Over the past two weeks, he had been feeling so stressed. He had relieved some tension on Sunday, true, but all of it came rushing back again as soon as he came to school on Monday. He rubbed his temples, as if that would make the frustration go away, and shifted his position on the seat.

He felt like he wanted to sleep through Sango's party. Maybe it was because the thought of sleeping in the same bed with Miroku or Kagome equally terrified him, or maybe it was the fact that he had been feeling tired constantly, lately. But either way, something about 'living' (kinda) with so many people without having a place to go to be alone made him very uneasy. The more he thought about it, the more confused he got.

His ears picked up the sound of footsteps, suddenly, and he was pretty sure, even though it could be anyone, that it was Kagome. He continued to ignore the sound, figuring he would just greet Kagome when she was in sight.

He heard the footsteps grow closer and closer and he grew tired of waiting, so he decided he would just greet Kagome now. He turned around slowly as he started to speak. "Hello Kago-"

But it wasn't Kagome. It was some ... other girl. He didn't know her, but somehow, since she was on the school grounds, he figured that they attended school together. She stopped in her tracks and looked away from where he was sitting. This was curious, since she was looking in that direction before he spoke.

He continued. "Oh ... sorry ... you're not Kagome." He felt hideously embarrassed and turned pastel pink as he realized his mistake. He laughed sheepishly and shyly apologized to her. "S-sorry..." he mumbled.

The girl was apparently as embarrassed as he was because he could see her giggle girlishly and look away, bashfully hiding her blush. "Oh, uh, it's okay." She held books to her torso and she squirmed as she hugged them tighter and then released them. "I- uh- I was just ... Sorry for disturbing you." She looked away shamefully and squirmed some more. She was very shy, he realized, and in an almost painful way, she reminded him of himself just a few months ago.

"You come here a lot." she said softly, but Inu Yasha heard.

"Hm." he agreed. "It's my favorite place."

"And ... Kagome, she is here with you too?" she said and slumped. He watched with fascination as her head seemed to shrink further into her shoulders as the conversation grew.

"Well, not now, but ... yeah, we meet here a lot." he said. He was beginning to sound oddly confident, and he wasn't sure if it was because the girl he was talking to apparently lacked it completely, or if he had actually gained some over the past couple months. Either way, it made him feel strangely happy.

"Oh ... Do you-?" she started to speak and then stopped and stroked her throat uncomfortably. "Are you ... can ..." She began to laugh quietly, but not cheerfully. "Are you free this weekend?" she spit out and Inu Yasha couldn't help but stare at her like a small alien had just come out of the girl's side and walked away.

He looked at her, very confused, and then, when he realized he hadn't said anything for quite a while, tried to continue the conversation. "Wh ... why?" And in an instant, any of the probably feigned confidence he had upheld through their brief dialogue was blown away like insignificant sand granules in the wind.

"Well ..." She had honestly expected he would have caught on by now. "I was ... just wondering ... I ... I dunno ... we ... um." The way she paused after every word made Inu yasha positively mad. He was so confused, and he just wished she would come out and say why she needed to know where he would be this weekend so badly. "Maybe we could ... you know? Do ... something?" she looked at him with a painfully awkward stare.

His jaw would have unhinged if he were to actually show how astonished he was by use of it. She stood there squirming, the awkwardness of the situation looking as if it was causing her physical pain by the way she wiggled so nervously.

Did she just ask if he wanted to go out with her? Him?

So, for the past fifteen years of his life, everyone around him hated him for what he was, but now they like him for no reason.

What the hell was wrong with the world?

He would seriously need sleep after this.

He tried to speak, but couldn't do anything except stutter like an idiot for a while. "Y-you wh .. want- want to do something ... with m-me?" he asked, dumbstruck.

She looked up at the boy in three and smiled meekly, slowly nodding her head and then looking away.

Girls _liked_ him? Girls liked _him_!

"Um ... I'm busy." he said. And then he realized he was busy that weekend. She looked a little sad because of this, but didn't seem to take it so hard. She wasn't crying or anything, so Inu Yasha just assumed she was okay.

"Oh." she said somberly and then looked up at him and smiled nervously. She walked away, in the opposite direction, without even saying goodbye to him. He understood though. The whole thing was nerve racking, not only to her, but to him, in a strange way. He did however, have no idea why she asked him that. Was she just trying to make fun of him, or play a prank? No. That was not acting he saw. It was actual discomfort when she was talking, and real sadness when he turned her down.

Girls ... liked him.

* * *

On his way back to his house, he decided to stop by Kagome's house. The advances of the girl by the tree had somewhat shaken him up, and he decided that he needed to see her and her mom. Of course, the fact that he really enjoyed both of their company helped as well. 

He climbed up the stairs in a brisque trot and poked the doorbell. Less than a minute later, Kagome's mom was at the door. She greeted him with a cheerful hug and a bright smile. "Is Kagome here?" he asked.

"Oh, my." she said and laughed. "You always come at the wrong time, don't you, Sweetie?"

"Oh ... so she's ... not, um ..."

"Yes, she went with Sango shopping. The girls want to buy new bathing suits." she said.

"Bathing ... suits?" he said, more to himself than to her, really. "Why would they need those?"

The woman laughed at the question, almost amused at its pointlessnes. "Yes, well, the hotel that everyone is staying in is very nice. It has a pool, so they are excited to be able to use it, since well, Kagome hasnt really swam a lot. Her only other bathing suit is quite old, doesn't really fit her. So they went out to prepare."

Inu Yasha didnt really hear anything other than 'bathing suit' throughout Ms. Higurashi's entire speech. Unlike girls bathing suits (well some of them) boys suits only cover your lower body. He touched his chest gently and shuddered.

"Well," the woman said softly and smiled, "tea?"

Inu Yasha smiled and shrugged "Sure." he chirped. Having tea with Kagome's mother was so fun.

They walked through the labrynth leading to the living area and Inu Yasha sat on the futons near the table as Kagome's mother made tea. "Can I help?" he asked politely, almost feeling awkward because someone else was making food while he sat and did nothing.

"Oh no, no, no, Sweetie." she said. Inu Yasha wiggled a tad uncomfortably as she addressed him by such a sugary nickname. He briefly wondered if Ms Higurashi was this nice to every one of Kagome's friends.

She brought a hot pot to the table and placed it on its coaster after pouring them each a glass. He added a generous amount of sugar to his cup and stirred it well as he waited for it to cool. "So how have you been, Inu Yasha? Life treating you well?" she said warmly.

"Mmhmm." he hummed and nodded.

"Excited about the party?" she asked.

"Yeah. It'll be fun. Especially since I havn't been to another birthday party in a long time." he said. "Well, except for Miroku's."

"No birthday parties?" she asked.

"Well, there were parties, but I was never invited. The mothers didn't really feel comfortable having me around their children." he said somberly. "Which is so stupid by the way, since, well, I only went to school with them every day."

"That's terrible." she said softly. "I'm sorry."

"It's not really like I care anymore now. I mean, they're just kids who don't know any better ... just stereotypes ..." he said. "But back then I remember hearing kids talk about how much fun they had and I'd feel sad that they didn't let me come. They'd talk about it sometimes, and then get all quiet when I'd come near them."

She placed a hand on his shoulder and patted it. "But it's all for the best, right? Look at what a great boy you've turned out to be."

He sighed and looked at his tea. "Wasn't much fun, really."

"I'm glad Kagome has a friend like you." she said. "Such a nice loyal boy. Not so much like some of her other friends." the woman said bitterly. Before Inu Yasha could ask anything, the woman continued. "But oh well. Coming back to Japan has been good." she said.

Inu Yasha smiled. "Good." he said softly.

"Kagome's such a great girl ..." she commented. "She's the best thing that's ever happened to me." Inu Yasha smiled some more, but was still unsure as to what to say next.

"Did... um ... did Kagome have troubles making friends too?" he asked meekly.

"Ah, well, no, not really. She was always such a bright and outgoing girl, so she never had trouble going up to people and talking to them. She made many friends this way. But sometimes, I suppose, yes, people did treat her strangely. Something was just ... different. They could tell." she said.

The woman eyed the dog ears on the boys head. "But she was not different in the way you are." she said and smiled. Inu Yasha blushed at the mention of his outwardly demon appearance, the shame pushing the blood into his cheeks. The woman didn't mean to insult him, he knew, but he had grown so used to being attacked because of the ears and odd coloring that it was just a reflex that he would grow self conscious at the mention of them.

"You ... you um, you kind of ... You don't mind them ... the ears, do you?" he asked tentatively.

"No." she said sternly. "Not at all. It's kind of refreshing, really. Back when I was young there were a lot more demons around. Before they all started dying away and hiding themselves behind human appearances. It kind of makes me nostalgic, really."

"So ... you had demon friends?" he asked.

"Oh, sure, plenty. My best friend when I was younger was a demon! A full blooded one at that. A beautiful girl, and a lot of fun." she said, sounding excited. "Oh, we had so much fun. You don't know what it's like to be young until you grow old." she said and laughed.

Inu Yasha smiled as well. "College was such fun." she said. "You just wait till you get up and out of your house and enter the 'adult world'. That's when life really begins." she said, matter-of-factly. She always spoke like she knew everything.

He laughed a little and Ms. Higurashi looked at him curiously. "Did I say something funny?" she asked.

"No ... it's just ... you talk exactly like Kagome." he said and suppressed the rest of the laughter.

"Really?" she said.

"Yes. You ... um ... you both talk really ... really well. You're a lot like her." he said.

The woman laughed for some reason and then said, "Like mother like daughter, yes?"

Inu Yasha smiled. "I always knew I wanted a daughter." she said. "But ... after the cancer ..." The woman looked down sadly after she mentioned this and then, as if she suddenly realized that she had said it, she clamped her hands over her mouth. "That's right! I haven't told you, have I?" she asked.

"Cancer?" he asked, nervously.

"Yes ... cancer ... in my ovaries. The doctors fixed it and I haven't went into remission but ... they told me that I would never be able to have children." She looked away from him and an expression of such bitter pain crossed her face that it made all of Inu Yasha feel like all his suffering was nothing.

Inu Yasha suddenly understood how important Kagome was to her mother in that moment. His own mother was brought to mind and he wondered if maybe she loved him as much as Kagome's mother loved her. Of course she did, he reminded himself. He felt his heart crush under the weight of sorrow at the realization of how lucky he was to have Kagome. "I'm ... sorry ..." he mumbled.

The woman smiled at him and waved her hand, as if by doing it, she was also waving away her problems. "But then my little Kagome came, and it was just like all my husband's and mine doubt and sadness went away. It was like magic." she said. "She was just such a joy."

The woman's previous expression of pain was wiped away and replaced with a very happy smile. The intense emotions were making him feel uncomfortable a little, but this was just something that Kagome's mother did. She talked about strange personal things with people she didn't know that well ... which really kind of freaked him out, but he did enjoy talking to her. She was smart, he thought, and her thoughts were interesting.

After he talked with her for another ten minutes or so, he felt bad about leaving Shippou alone for so long and told her he should be going now. She walked him to the door and hugged him goodbye after they briefly discussed transportation to the party tomorrow. The woman gladly agreed to take him to Sango's house with Kagome where the four teens would be driven to the hotel.

He waved goodbye to her as he left the shrine and then returned home to Shippou.

_** Shameless Advertising**_ (I hope you dont mind me doing this, picken)

Hey everyone, just Inu Kun here, telling you that you must go read the story 'Daughters' by sleepwalking chicken and HAP! It is very good and mushy and yummy! Seriously, check it out! Very emotional. If you like stories where Inu Yasha is kind of angry and mean at first, but then gets his heart softened, you'll like this one. Actually, she's an incredible author. You'll like all her stories. Yesh, now read little darlings. Reeaad!

**_ Author's Notes_**

ZOMG! So long! This is to make up for the shortie in the last chapter.

Well, um ... I writ this thing ... 'Setting the Dead Woman Free' And I'm really proud of it ... but no one's read it ... can you guys help me out? T-T I promise you wont regret it!

And holy crap! He gets asked out? Well, it makes sense. He is such a good looking boy.

Well, I hope you liked reading! Next chapter is the party! YES! I am soo excited! Squee! You guys are gonna likethe next chapter, mmhmm.

Inu Yasha is so adorable, I wub him.


	36. Luxury's Lap

**_All's Fair in Love and War  
_  
Chapter Thirty Five**

_Luxury's Lap  
_  
When he got home, his father was still there. The man had been lying down on the sofa a lot lately, ever since his side was wounded. Part of Inu Yasha thought that maybe, he was trying to let himself heal, but he knew it was just because the man was lazy and didn't like doing much of anything that didnt involve drugs or alcohol.

Part of him was worried that he would stay at the house through the weekend, but then he realized that even if he did, Inu Yasha would just go to the party anyways. And somehow, the lack of beatings made him less afraid of the man. He felt a little bit more at ease with the man, however, he was still bombarded by the constant nervousness he had felt before. There was just less of it.

He was now completely determined he would attend the party. Of course, he would just have to kill himself for missing it after spending so much time getting Sango's presents. He had already told Shippou of the plans for this weekend and he squealed loudly as he realized he was going. He was so happy, Inu Yasha remembered.

Presently, he sauntered over to the sofa and looked at the man briefly. He felt something very close to guilt stir inside him. It was, however, shoved away very forcefully by his mind, that knew better than to waste compassion on on something that didn't feel. The man looked over to him and then turned his attention back to the television.

"Are ... are you going ... out?" Inu Yasha asked softly.

The man paused for a few seconds before replying to him. "Maybe. I 'unno." he mumbled, drunkenly. He poured some of the beer onto a napkin and dabbed it onto the wound on his stomach. Yellow pus had ringed the stab. He had put some anti bacterial lotion on the wound but it didnt appear to be working. It was looking pretty off-putting and Inu Yasha looked away.

"Why'd you do that?" he asked curiously

"Tch ... I think it's like ... supposed to help it or something ... didn't they always give soldiers back in the old days alcohol before they cut their legs off and crap?" Inu Yasha raised an eyebrow and looked dumbly at him. He almost wanted to correct the man, but fear told him not to.

He walked off to his room, deciding that he would need to pick out clothes for the party now. He dug around through the pile of his room that served as a closet and tried to find something nice looking to wear. The only presentable thing he owned was the haori and hakama pants that Kagome's mother had given to him and those were just for special occasions that warranted their use. Normal teenagers didn't walk around in them.

He found a pant and shirt outfit that he thought was kind of okay and decided that it would be best to wash them first. He brought them over to the waching machine and then decided to wash all his clothing, since it all stunk. He dumped all the clothes in the machine, poured in some detergent and ran the machine. He would check back in an hour or so to put them in the dryer, which he knew he would have to run twice since it was nearly worthless as a dryer.

He woke up saturday morning and felt almost as if he had slept for days, so he leapt right out of bed and dashed over to the dryer and pulled out clean clothing from it. He skipped to the kitchen and threw water on for ramen.He went back to his room and stroked Shippou's back. He was greeted with a friendly chirp of a meow. The kitten rolled over and faced him, blinking in the light. He stretched out and meowed. "We're leaving in an hour or so to go to Kagome's house." he whispered so softly that only Shippou could hear him. The kitten rolled over to its feet and arched his back in another stretch and then meowed. "I'll get you some food, kay?" he said softly.

He scampered towards the kitchen to grab a can of tuna, however, he was distracted by a sound. His father was calling him. He dashed towards the couch and stood audience. "I'm hungry. Can you make me something?" he mumbled, hardly turning his attention away from the television set. This was certainly an odd thing to InuYasha. He actually asked instead of commanding him. Either way, he knew he would have to do what the man said, but when he said it nicely like that, it made him feel more ... comfortable? Not really, since it actually kind of freaked him out, but the question seemed so harmless.

"What?" he asked.

"Pft. I dunno. We have eggs?" he asked as he scratched his head.

"I'll check." he mumbled as he scurried to the fridge. "Yeah, we have two." he said.

"Fine. Scrambled, then." he called.

Inu Yasha started to work diligently, almost forgetting that he had promised food for Shippou. He buttered the pan, mixed the eggs, and poured them on the pan. Stirring them every couple of seconds as they started to take form. He salted them, finished them, and served them. The man took the plate and ate heartily. Inu Yasha stood stupidly and watched him eat. The man looked at him and raised a brow before Inu Yasha scuttled back to his room. He thought he heard a chortle of laughter as he dashed away.

He got back to his room, saw Shippou and said "The tuna!" he walked back to the pantry and pulled out a can, then remembered he left water on the stove for ramen. He dashed back to the stove and pulled the pot off. There was maybe a fourth of a cup of water in it. The rest had boiled away. He put some more in and put it back.

He went back to his room and sat on the bed. He pulled back the tab on the can, and a blast of tuna smell exploded through the room. Shippou stared at it eagerly and after Inu Yasha pulled the top off, he licked at it greedily. Shippou was almost always in his cat form when the boy's father was home, since he knew that he would probably make some sort of noise if he were human. "We'll be going to Kagome's house soon. After I have breakfast." he said softly. Shippou purred next to him as he lapped away the juice on top of the tuna.

Inu yasha got up and walked to the stove, he needed to attend to his ramen.

Inu Yasha had snuck out of the house through his window. Sure, he could have gone through the door, but his father might have noticed. Not that it mattered, since the man was bedridden (er, couchridden), but he didn't feel right about it, somehow.

He was walking up the stairs to Kagome's home, where he found her waiting for him. She smiled, waved, and skipped towards him, quickly encasing him in a friendly hug. Shippou, in cat form, leapt onto her shoulder with perfect grace and fluidity. She picked him off her shoulder and cradled him close to her chest, scratching under his chin and smiling as he purred.

"Inu Yasha, want to see my new bathingsuit?" she asked.

"Um, okay." he mumbled.

She led him up the stairs to the living area of her home and pulled out of a suitcase a fresh new black bathing suit. It was simple and only bore a single fish picture on the side. "Neat, right?" He nodded and smiled. In America, where I lived, a lot of my friends had pools, so I used to swim there. Not anymore though ..." she muttered somberly. "Anyways," she said turning her attention towards him. "I'm sure you want to visit my garden, even though my flower is dead." she said. She could tell from the smile that spread across his lips that a 'yes' was his answer.

Shippou, still a cat, had yet to transform into a human for one reason: He wanted to have Kagome's full and complete attention when he did. Inu Yasha was slightly irritated by the level of pride this new ability had brought the boy he considered family. What was so great about being human anyways? He loved Shippou though, so he tried his hardest to repress those feelings.

The two of them, Inu Yasha and Kagome, strolled next to eachother along a stone path leading around the garden. Inu Yasha, no matter how many times he saw it, was continually amazed with the beauty of the garden. He liked this place more than anything, even his former favorite place, the tree in the soccer field. The vibrant greens and and hues of colors never ceased to overwhelm him completely, almost reducing his awareness to that of someone who is halfway asleep. Of course, he'd have to be asleep to have such a wonderful dream. For what other possible explanation could there be for something so unreal?

Kagome looked over to his dazed out friend and smiled softly. "You really like the outdoors don't you?" she asked.

Snapping out of a daze, Inu Yasha replied "Yeah." He answered correctly though at the time had no idea what the question being asked was.

"I do too. Did I tell you that I would always come here when I was younger?" she said and laughed. "Sorry, but I just can't remember what I tell to who."

"Yeah, you said something like that." he said, recalling a conversation held in this particular garden weeks ago,

"I wish I had a place like this." he said. "I only have my backyard and it's really ugly." he said bitterly. With the mention of the backyard, he remembered Sesshomaru, and felt guilty. He never met him, but the boy was family, and in a way, Inu Yasha really deeply loved him. He didn't quite understand how, but something about the half brother he never met made him feel bonded to him in a way he hadn't felt with anyone else. Shippou was like a son, Miroku was like a friend, but Sesshomaru was a brother, something he'd never experienced before. Albeit, the blood that tied them was blood he hated more than anything, but still.

They had suffered the same.

Only, Sesshomaru didn't last as long.

Inu Yasha accidentally bumped into Kagome and turned deco pink as he apologized softly. She giggled, and for the first time in a while, he felt a little more at ease around her. Her laugh brought back so many memories. He grinned and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

Inu Yasha was truly astounded at how huge Sango's house was. It was enourmous! A mansion, and very luxurious. He concluded instantly that her parents must be incredibly wealthy because Inu Yasha hadnt ever been in a house like this. (Truth be told, Kagome's was much larger, but most of her house was a shrine. The living area was actually only about as big as an average apartment.) Kagome didn't seem very fazed by it and he wasn't sure if it was because Sango's house only seemed big to him since he was used to such a small home, or because her shrine was larger.

Either way, he just couldn't get over the fact that he was standing in such a nice looking home. He stepped in through the doors wearily but Kagome dashed out of the car, leaping to Sango and giving her a hug.

After Kagome removed herself from Sango, the girl waved and smiled warmly at Inu Yasha, who in turn, ran over and greeted her. Shippou, now in full boy form, tottled over to the girl from behind him. "Ooh! Who's that?" she giggled out.

Inu Yasha looked down at Shippou. Huh, that's ... " Brilliance struck him. "My cousin." Both Kagome, and more importantly, Shippou, passed strange glances at him, but neither said a word. "On my human side." he said. Sango smiled and waved at the boy.

"Hi!" she said, and sounded very much like she was speaking to a child. Shippou grinned. He liked the attention. "What's your name?" she asked.

"Shippou!" the boy chirped. Then he blushed, adorably of course, and stood partially behind Inu Yasha's leg.

"You're excited about coming to my party, aren't ya?" The boy nodded eagerly. "Ha! Of course you are! See, I read minds." Shippou giggled and squirmed as he tugged on a part of Inu Yasha's pants.

"Come in!" she chirped, a welcome tone ringing along with her voice. "Inu Yasha, you've never been to my house, right?" He shook his head. "I'll show you around then! Miroku will be here soon though, and then the limo will come and take us to the hotel."

"You mean, we're going to ride a limo to the hotel?" he said, stunned. Sango gave him an odd stare as if her single raised eyebrow was trying to say 'Isnt that what I just said?'.

He walked through the house in awe, barely able to function because of shock. Did everyone but him live like this? Well, Miroku's house had certaintly been more average looking but still, it was a dream compared to his own house. He saw the two bedrooms, the master bathroom, with the impressive bath that resembled a hot tub. He viewed the licing room, and saw Sango's mother lazily taking a draw from her cigarette as some television show- he wouldn't know which one it was- played on. The house seemed enormous to him. He felt like his house wasnt really a house compared to Sango's. It was just a bucket, or a tin can.

Some fifteen minutes later, Miroku came and before he knew it, the limo had arrived to whisk them all away. Inu Yasha felt his heart thump inside his chest. He wasn't very surprised that Sango's mother wasn't taking them. In fact, it kind of made him feel a little more normal to know that he wasn't the only one who had a parent that didn't have time or attention for their children like Kagome's mother had for her. He wasn't the only one who lacked the closeness and coziness of Miroku's household. He was utterly shocked however that a limo was taking them to the hotel. A limousine! And his whole life he thought that they were only for famous people, like popstars, or actors.

He felt almost uncomfortably spoiled. He started to wonder what his father was thinking as he climbed into the car. Did he notice the boy's absence? Was he angry? Maybe he was worried! Inu Yasha almost liked that idea.

The inside of the limousine had to be just about the most amazing thing he had ever seen (well, aside from anything he had seen at Kagome's house.) The roof had little lights that lit up and changed colors, like stars, and the seats were coated with cool black leather. A blast of crisp air conditioned wind hit him and he liked it. His ears flickered on his head as he heard someone else shifting the teenager's luggage. Someone was putting their things away? Why would they do that? He wanted to go out and put away his own bag of clothing, but the others getting in the car behind him hindered his path.

He took a seat at the end row that faced the driver (though the driver was blocked off by a tinted window. There was one seat and one corner next to him. Miroku sat on the seat near him but was soon ushered by Sango to the place where she sat. This, of course, left the last seat to Kagome, who smiled softly at him as she slid gracefully into the cushion.

The ride to the hotel was long, but it didn't seem that way, since theey had spent most of the time talking with one another and playing around with the light settings in the car which proved to be strangely entertaining to the group. Kagome had ended up shifting around in her seating quite frequently, she would go over to Sango, and play with her and Miroku for a while. Then, she would look over to him, and he would look away, because always he looked towards her. She would mutter something that she mumbled and trod over to him, smiling and provoking innocent conversation for a while. Then she would go back to chirp and play with Sango.

Shippou as well seemed to be a fan of walking around the car while it was moving. Maybe it was because he didnt know if he should sit with Inu Yasha or his new friends, or because Sango told him that whenyou walk around a moving car, it's like being a space man.

Inu Yasha found he enjoyed looking out the window. For almost the first time in his life, he realized how much of the world he had never seen before. He'd only traveled an hour or two at the most away from his house by foot. And even though he was a demon, that distance was still very small compared to what distance could be covered in that time by car. There were many things to be seen and smells to be smelled. Of course, he could smell very little from the car. However, you can bet that if he knew which button to press, he would have rolled the window down a little. There were so many buttons for this car. Why did a car need so many goddamned buttons?

Inu Yasha gazed dreamily out the window, shocked by the hotel as the limousine drifted into the lobby entrance. He never remembered staying in a hotel. Well, he actually never remembered staying in a nice one. He did recall, however, staying at several motels after his mother died. For about a year, neither of them had a very stable life. They were constantly moving, constantly changing, and always on the run.

A man wearing a black coat and a round hat opened the door, and Kagome, who was closest to him, exited first, tossing a friendly smile at the man who opened the door as he helped her out with his hand. Inu Yasha slid out the door and stepped towards the hotel entrance. It was so grand, he thought, so grand. Sango and Miroku hopped out, cheerily. Miroku seemed maybe a little less shocked than Inu Yasha at how nice the hotel was, but was still pretty awed.

Sango hopped out last and bounded towards the entrance. She turned to the rest of them, and shouted "I'm going to check in, can you guys just watch the luggage for a little?" The driver came along with her and the bell boy helped unload suitcases onto a golden cart. Inu Yasha stood stupefied, until Kagome bumped into him, purposefully. He looked over to her and grinned with half of his face. "It's a nice hotel." she said, cheerfully.

"Uh huh." he mumbled dumbly.

**_Author is Pathetic_**

Yes, I am lazy, and stressed out and overloaded with school, and angst. Which is weird. I dont deserve to be stressed, I'm not really even doing anything. I havent written in weeks. I just want to lie in my bed and sleep, because, seriously, sleep is sooo good.

And I'm not living with my dad anymore. But I get to go out and have dinner with him a lot. So its fun, albeit unrealistic. Ah well, this chapter, I was writing anything and I felt bad, I HAD to upload SOMETHING. And guess what else? I BEAT 100 000 WORDS! OH YEAHZ!

The happy is overwhelming.

Not much happens. Inu Yash FINALLY gets to the hotel. God, its taken forever, but he's there, and things can only get fluffier. He's sitting on the patent leather lap of luxury. I know its cliche, but I have no idea what else to name this chapter.

Thank you for your support and sickly sweet flattery. Oh yes, flattery is good. You are all the coolness and I sincerely thank you for taking time to read my story, and stick with it, even when Iím being a bad Inu Kun, and with holding chapters four weeks upon weeks.

And just to throw out something random, I am making a whistle in pottery and its shaped like a mushroom. Holy begeezis, so awesome. Yay, I shall paint it green and put 1 up on it. Yay, Mario, yay.

Bye!


	37. Closer, Closer

**_Allís Fair in Love and War_**

**Chapter Thirty Slevin**

_Closer, Closer_

Inu Yasha found himself impressed at how particularly wonderful Sango was at checking in to hotels. He got the feeling that this was not the first time she had done this and in some way, it made him relate to her. It seemed like her mom was so self involved. Even the way she sat on the couch, a blanket wrapped around her body, hanging limply over her shoulder, a thin fragile strand of smoke streaming and curling through her pursed lips. She had stared so intently at the television that he had wondered if she even knew he was there, in her house, walking with her daughter, staring at her so curiously. 

She walked casually to the registration desk, and had a few words with the man at the desk. They smiled and laughed and chattered, for a larger tip, thought Inu Yasha. Maybe he knew Sango was loaded?

The room was amazing. It was huge. It was soft and carpeted and included a kitchenette that awed Inu Yasha. This might have been because he actually found it more attractive than his own. He was in a hotel and he preferred it to his own home.

He flopped down on the bed and lay there, huffing a few breaths. He couldn't wait for the night to come, so he could snuggle under the comforter, cocooning himself within it's folds, enjoying being encased in this secure and safe bed within a hotel in which nothing bad could ever happen.

Then he remembered the pool. He loved water, actually, maybe it was a dog thing. However, he longed desperately for an excuse, any excuse, not to set a foot into the water. He couldn't think of anything and in a way, he didn't want to. He wanted to think of an excuse, any excuse really, that would pardon him to the side of the pool. Something to let him wear shorts and a t-shirt and get away with laughing as he dangled his feet in the water as his friends all bobbed around and floated through the water, splashing him occasionally.

What would he say? That he couldn't swim? That would work, though it _was_ embarrassing.

Presently, Sango felt hungry and everyone decided it would be a good idea if they ate lunch. Inu Yasha was excited and nervous. Why did he feel like being here was stealing? This was supposed to be a celebration for Sango almost turning another year older, but it felt like he was the one being given to. He knew this couldn't be right. But what he didn't know was that he poured more heart, more effort, more blood and sweat and soul into his small, neatly packed trinkets of appreciation for his friend than her father could have spent at work for a few hours.

The restaurant was pretty and formal and Sango and Kagome felt right at home, being used to beautiful and grand things. Miroku and Inu Yasha felt spoiled. Inu Yasha found that staring at the intricacy of the crown moldings inspired him. He remembered Kagome's mother, her love of amazing detail. He wanted to draw something, and his fingers itched for a pencil. He had only a shiny silver fork, however, and that better suited his purposes, as the chicken dish he ordered was well on its way. Shippou looked eagerly at the food and then Inu Yasha realized that not once in his entire, albeit short, life, had Shippou ever used silver wear.

The boy was seated next to him, so Inu Yasha made a pathetic and badly hidden attempt to try to show Shippou that no, the knife wasn't used like a drumstick, and yes, throwing your silver wear on the floor would get you new utensils and however fun it was to throw them, YES, the bus boys would surely pee in his soda if he kept dropping them like that. After Shippou had attempted to pick up the beef dish he ordered with his tiny little fingers, Inu Yasha chided him and softly showed him how to cut meat. The entire table found this entertaining, especially Sango, who got out of her seat to direct Shippou's untrained fingers with her own. He squirmed and giggled and looked cute, but learned nothing. Hopefully, Inu Yasha wished that the rest of his friends thought that this was what normal four or five year old children do. He doubted it and was glad that at least Shippou looked adorable trying.

Inu Yasha ended up cutting the boys meat himself, utterly defeated. When this wonderful little time was over, they wouldn't be eating off of beautiful plates with painted sides or using shiny silver forks and knives, engraved with flowers and swirls. Where they were going, they didn't even know if they were going to be eating at all, only that somehow they would somehow survive.

Kagome kept looking at him. He would glance over at her and stare at her eyes for a split second they were locked. In that fleeting moment he could see through her eyes and he wondered that if he looked into them longer, would he be able to find out why she turned away from him? But also, maybe more curiously to him, why he turned away as well.

It made him feel awkward, and that was all he could find out. Maybe that's why they would look away, but then why did his eyes keep wandering back to her?

The five of them had spent an hour or so wandering the halls of the hotel. Inu Yasha wanted to look into each and every room and absorb the beauty like a sponge that knew it would be wrung dry very soon, and very quickly. This place was so pretty.

The hotel had many accommodations. A work out room, a computer room with internet access, a pool (which he dreaded) and a few functional restaurants. Sango had brought with her some food, however. This included a cake mix, as well as frosting and other decorating things. (He eyed a bottle of red disc shaped candies and some multicolored sprinkles.) There were snack foods as well, like chips, potato stick snacks, and some sugary things like fruit gummies and sweet bean candy.

There were a few things Inu Yasha didn't know about Sango that he found out on the day he arrived at the hotel. One was that she had a credit card. This was shocking, only because he thought that not even all adults had these things. (His father mostly used cash.) Sango said she only used it scarcely. Only to pay for clothes, and special occasions that beckoned the need for it, like her birthday, she told him. As she flashed the plastic to the waiter Inu Yasha found himself swallowing a lump and being slightly attracted to Miroku's bug eyes. Sango wouldn't have to work a day in her life. Conversely, he had to work hard, every day, just to live. It didn't seem fair somehow. What did he do to deserve a dead mother and an abusive drug addicted father?

He found his thoughts lingering to Sesshomaru. He longed to see the boy's face.

* * *

The room that the four were to stay in was large and spacious. There were not one, but two television sets. He was shocked! Two!

And there was a room with two big beds, either queen or king. He didn't know the difference, only that they were large and he liked them. He couldn't help but keep his mind from going back to the thought of those beds; those large soft clean beds.

After attending the lunch end exploring the hotel, they decided to take a walk along the beach. Since no one was going to swim in the freezing ocean water, as it did get very cold around this time, they all left their bathing suits at the hotel, except for Inu Yasha and Shippou, since they had no suits.

Inu Yasha found plenty of joy sitting on the beach and running the chilly sand grains through his fingers. They were soft and grainy and not like dirt, though there was some resemblance. Shippou pranced along the shore, allowing his feet to pad through the wet sand. But when the waves would come close to the shore, he would run away from them, finding momentary shelter on the dry sand until the wave receded and slipped back into the ocean.

Kagome plopped down next to Inu Yasha and slid her fingers through the sand. "It's cool, huh?" she said and then laughed. "It's actually kind of cold!" The girl giggled shyly and wriggled her way into the sand. "Have you ever been to a beach before Inu Yasha?"

"No, not that I remember." he said and picked up some more sand.

"I used to take trips here sometimes- when I was younger. We don't live very close to the beach. My parents would drive me down here sometimes during the summers. They thought it was cool, but I always thought the beach was a stupid trip." She arched her back as she leaned forward, pressing her palms into the sand.

"It's beautiful."

"Not that I didn't like the sand and the water, don't get me wrong." she corrected. "But I just got pretty bored of it. Personally," she said, leaning closer to him and lowering her voice, as if she was telling him something deeply personal, "I always loved rummaging through the hotel- looking through our room, wandering the hallways. I loved seeing new places. All the whites and beiges and neutral colors of the hotels were strangely exotic to me. Maybe if you grew up on a shrine, you might know what I'm talking about." she finished and chuckled to herself.

"It's strange to me, too." he said honestly. "Probably not in the same ways it's weird to you though." He laughed mirthlessly.

She pushed her hands under the sand and he felt her hand slide against his under the blanket of beach the hid them. She giggled sweetly again and lifted her extremities in the air, the sand spraying ocean ward because of a light wind.

He smiled.

* * *

He found that the later on the day got, the more anxious he got. And the more anxious he got, the more guilty. How could he be nervous now? He was exactly where he wanted to be! What was he thinking! On the other hand, no one could see his chest and the later it got, the more likely someone would suggest they swim. He couldn't do it, he just couldn't let them see his destroyed and shattered form. His body- they would be repulsed. But maybe the fact that they couldn't possibly be as disgusted by it than he could would comfort him. No, that wasn't much comfort at all.

He did however long to be with them- his friends that is. He wanted to mingle among their company, and laugh and talk with them. It was a rare occasion that one is surrounded by only the people that he wishes to associate with and this was just such a situation. He wanted to be with them, pretend he was one of them, one of these people.

Inu Yasha and Kagome stood in water halfway up their shins after being tired with the sand. The wind whipped around flicked his hair into his eyes painfully so he grabbed it and stuffed it into the back of his his shirt. Kagome waded over to him and fell back against his chest, asking him to pretend she was Rose from the movie The Titanic, which she had seen in America. However, he didn't know what she was talking about and just stared at her, confused. She laughed coyly and walked away from him, pink. Why was she laughing?

He turned around and found Sango snuggling against Miroku's warm body affectionately, whispering something into his ears. They got along really well, he noticed. They pulled each other so close, it almost made him forget that they were only fourteen. He wasn't that way when he was fourteen was he? He tried to remember what he was like at the age and some memories came, but they weren't of girls and cake and beaches. He suddenly ached, unexplainably, in his side and was tempted to look under his shirt to check to see if a certain scar was still visible. He remembered, with a bit of terror, the first cut he had ever received from him.

His attention was drawn away from the ocean as he heard his name being called. He looked over at Miroku and Sango, who were now covered in sand, wiping their faces and spitting. Kagome laughed heartily before Sango got up and ran after her. Somehow, Sango managed to tackle Kagome to the ground and was presently grabbing her sides so hard that she was left gasping for breath from the laughter.

* * *

After several hours of playing on the beach and wandering about the different areas of the hotel, Inu Yasha noticed the sky getting dark. Dinner time was drawing near and maybe, he thought, he wouldn't have to end up going swimming. Somebody found an order in menu that showed an impressive list of food that you could order from the hotel's kitchen. The teenagers decided that maybe they should just order, well, everything. Then they could eat it buffet style. Inu Yasha felt like he was stealing as he heaped food onto his plate. Sango order chicken and fish dishes, plenty of different appetizers including dumplings and rice balls, and several noodle dishes. He decided it all looked good so, why not? He felt the blood drain from his face as he realize that everyone had not even half of what he had piled on his plate. The four of them stared at his food mountain and some couldn't help but choke a laugh.

Shippou took a certain interest in the fish. Inu Yasha discovered the boy had a unique love for anything that lived in the sea. He pulled several rice balls onto his plate and then broke them open, pulling out the nugget of fish or squid or octopus that was contained within, leaving a pile of plain white rice on his plate. Sango and Miroku helped him eat some of it. Actually they just ate it for him. The boy hated starch.

Inu Yasha, to everyone's surprise, cleaned his plate. He would have eaten it all and more, but he knew that his friends would look at him strangely. And surely, he knew, they would wonder why it is someone can eat so much and be so skinny. That thought however, he wouldn't allow them. He couldn't.

Sango suggested dessert, so they all started to work on the cake mix she had brought with her.

Using the raw eggs she had purposely ordered during dinner, and a pan and some more ingredients she had brought, the cake was in the oven and baking very soon. The five of them sat on the couch and two arm chairs in the living room and flickered through the different channels as the cake baked. No one really watched television, except for Shippou, who was mesmerized by the man in the pink rooster outfit on the t.v. who clucked about some new egg product that was supposedly from chickens who were free roaming and fed all natural grain.

The cake was taken out of the oven, frosted and eaten promptly. There were no matches so after everyone sang happy birthday to Sango as she blew at the icing, pointlessly. However, the group laughed and smiled. Inu Yasha took a large piece and ate it slowly, absorbing every bite like it could be his last. Shippou ignored the cake almost completely, and Sango marveled at the only child she knew of that didn't like sugar. This wasn't true, however. Shippou liked sweet milk, especially chocolate milk, which Inu Yasha later wondered the negative health affects of.

The five of them lounged about the sofa area until Sango announced, to Inu Yasha's complete horror, that she wanted to go swimming. Inu Yasha mentioned how they would all get cramps because they had eaten and she argued that that was an urban myth and no one ever gets cramps from swimming after eating. He then said Shippou had no bathing suit, so she said she would take him to the hotel shop and buy one for him as a gift, since she liked him. He then said that she didn't need to do that since Shippou couldn't swim anyways, and he didn't want her to have to buy him something. But she liked Shippou, and he was just so cute so don't worry, it's no problem to buy him something from the shop. But Sango!

"But this but that, Inu Yasha. Look, I'll get him a suit, it's no problem, really." she said. She sounded irritated.

"It's just, well ..." he looked around cautiously and then whispered in her ear "he's afraid of the water." Sango looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Don't worry, I'll hold him." she said. "Shippou, honey, want me to teach you to swim?" she said enthusiastically.

"Yeah!" he chirped. Inu Yasha wasn't entirely sure he even knew what swimming involved. Well, except for that it involved Sango, he knew that. As long as it involved Sango, Shippou would do it. Inu Yasha moaned under his breath. Nothing was working and Shippou wasn't helping.

"So it's okay, Inu Yasha." she said. She made her voice louder and announced to the crowd, "Girls change in the bath room, and boys in here!"

She ushered Kagome into the bathroom and left Inu Yasha with Miroku. "Uhhh..." he hummed, nervously. Once Inu Yasha realized that in order to change, Miroku would have to remove all his clothes, he turned around and stared at the wall, his face a light pink. Inu Yasha could hear the shuffling of fabric and, for his own amusement, tried to guess which article of clothing was being removed. First the shirt. "Are you changing?" Miroku asked.

"No."

"So you're swimming in your clothes?" he asked and saved Inu Yasha. That was it! He would swim in his clothing! Why in the world had he not thought of this earlier? So simple, but so genius! Oh, he would just hug the life out of Miroku right now if it weren't for the fact the boy had no pants on.

"Yeah!" he remarked, a little enthusiastic, but who cared? His problems were over! He would not have to worry!He pulled out the most unappealing shirt and short combo he had with him and slipped into it. This was just spectacular. He just had to love when things worked out perfectly for him. This was probably because they rarely did, but he couldn't think about that now, he was too happy with his newfound solution. If only Miroku could know how much his seemingly worthless comment meant to him.

"Inu Yasha?" he asked.

"Hm?"

"..." The boy's pause unnerved him.

"Yeah?"

"Well ... Never mind." he mumbled.

Inu Yasha knew what he wanted to ask. What ever happened to that cat of yours you wanted to bring? Why isn't he here? And what about that cousin, Inu Yasha? How is he human and you not? He looked through his luggage for the lightest thinnest pants he had with him and pulled them on.

In the next room, which was the one with the two beds, he heard the laughter of girls and decided that the two were done changing. "Are you guys finished?" he heard Sango call.

Miroku looked at Inu Yasha out of the corner of his eye and saw he had clothes on. "Yeah." he called back.

Then, the knob turned and out came the two of them, suited and with towels slung around their shoulders. Kagome's jet black suit contrasted with Sango's bright flowery two piece. Her entire midsection was exposed and Inu Yasha guessed that if any less of her were covered up, she would not be able to go out in public. Kagome had her long wavy hair tied up into a messy bun and Sango's was tied back in a high ponytail.

"Come on!" Sango giggled. The group followed her out the door and down to the lobby where she took Shippou by the hand and asked politely for everyone to wait while she bought him a suit. About ten minutes later, after finding and being fitted with a pair of trunks, the five exited the lobby and walked to the pool area. Miroku was the first to enter, cannon balling into the water and then shooting up to the surface. Sango, who slipped into the pool by the side, was second. Third was Kagome, who stepped in on the stairs. And finally, Inu Yasha and Shippou. Inu Yasha longed to leap into the pool, but he didn't know what to do about Shippou who downright refused to go anywhere near the body of water.

"It'll be fun." he told him.

Shippou merely whimpered and held strong to Inu Yasha's leg. Sango waded to the side of the pool. "What's wrong, baby?" she asked him. Shippou looked at her with big fearful eyes and whimpered. She reached out her arms for him. "Come on, I'll hold you. I can teach you to swim. It's really easy!" He looked at her and then the water, and then at Inu Yasha and took a tentative step towards her hands. Well, she _was_ going to hold him. Sango took him up in her arms and waded towards the steps, so that he could have proper footing.

Inu Yasha slid into the pool and was quite surprised at how warm the water was. It was chilly tonight and getting colder, but the water was like a hot bath. He floated on his back awkwardly for a little bit until he felt two hands lightly touching his back. Kagome was holding up his torso. He looked over to her and smiled. "I'm floating he chirped, happily.

"No," she said, "I'm making you float." She grinned and then pushed him along with her hands, making him go around the pool on his back. The sky above was black and empty, all stars drowned out by city lights. Kagome suddenly pulled her hand away from his lower back and pushed on his shoulder to flip him upright. "We can race?" she suggested softly.

"Oh ... Um, I'm not really that great of a swimmer." he murmured, shyly. "Actually, I don't even think I ever learned." he stated, and then screwed up his face a little. Kagome found this funny. She laughed.

"Well of course you can do the dog paddle, right?" she asked and giggled nervously, hoping she hadn't walked across ice too thin.

"What's that?" he asked, curiously.

"You don't know?" she said, shocked. "Oh, well, it's this." She then lay across the water, her head bobbing just above the surface and flailed her arms and legs underneath the water, moving her from one area to another painfully slowly. Inu Yasha couldn't help but laugh at her, at how stupid she looked. He was amazed to find that she didn't feel embarrassed when she was doing this. He noted a few people around the pool deck. They could have seen, they could be watching. But she didn't care, she didn't even notice. She wasn't like him- guilty, afraid, ashamed- she just laughed, because she did not care about people that would judge her happiness.

For some time, and Inu Yasha didn't know how long, they all swam and played in the water. Shippou, even though he was in Sango's arms, refused to let the water come above his knee. He spent most of the time splashing around on the steps leading into the pool and running around the deck, shouting to Sango and Miroku, who on occasion splashed him. Sango and Miroku basically swam together the whole time, but were sometimes joined by Kagome. Inu Yasha liked swimming alone and especially enjoyed laying on his back and staring up at the sky. It was so dark, and he couldn't see the moon. He determined in was a new moon. It was pretty late, and currently, there were hardly any people in sight and the only thing that could be heard was splashing water and the soft laughter of his friends.

He heard them all talking. Sango wanted to play Marco Polo. Kagome and Miroku decided that would be a good idea. "Inu Yasha, do you want to play with us? We're going to do marco polo. Sango's it." Inu Yasha flipped himself upright and waded over to the three of them.

"Sure." he said.

"Okay okay, everyone scatter while I count." Sango announced.

She counted to ten as the rest of them swam around her at the farthest edges of the pool. Five minutes later, Sango had not caught, or come close to catching a single person. She was not able to move very quickly as she constantly had to fix or adjust her bathing suit to make sure no one saw anything they shouldn't be seeing. The flimsy ties kept loosening, and she would have to tie them tighter frequently. However, Inu Yasha noticed that she was wading in Kagome's direction, and rather quickly. Kagome smiled at him and then slowly lifted her self out of the pool, step by step. She put a finger to her lips as she started to creep along the pool deck. Shippou looked puzzled and then laughed as he blurted out. "Kagome, you're not supposed to run away from her!" he giggled and Kagome started running towards the pool again.

Sango grinned and shouted out "Fish out of water!" Just as Kagome slipped on the pool deck and fell down, face forward. Her stomach made a large plopping sound and she hissed in pain, quickly curling inward on herself like a snail that had been covered with salt. Inu Yasha leapt out of the pool and was at her side in an instant. He gently held her back up, so she was in a sitting position, with his hand, as if he were afraid she would fall without his support. She clenched her eyes and looked as if she were holding back tears. "Are you okay?" he asked softly. She whimpered and grabbed his arm.

The others were with her soon, and they cooed and asked her if she was all right. They all knew she was fine, but still, they worried. Kagome attempted to lift herself to her feet and succeeded with Inu Yasha's help. She limped against his side and looked at him as she whispered. "Take me to the room. Please."

"I'm going to take her to the room, okay? You guys can stay here at the pool." he said. He held her tenderly in his arms, but securely enough so that she would not fall from his grasp. She limped to the room, and he limped with her, patiently taking every step in accordance with her own. He held her up and moved his arms in any way he thought would make her more comfortable. Eventually they made it to the room, and Inu Yasha slipped it into the slot, pushing the door open with his side and easing his way inside.

"Put me in the bath, kay?" she said softly. He did as she asked, gently depositing her into the tub and then continuing to fill it with warm water. He spent at least a minute tinkering with the water to make sure it was the right temperature. She laughed. He looked at her and raised an eyebrow, silently asking her what was so funny.

"You're so nice, Inu Yasha." she said and rolled onto her side. "Too nice." she added, a little less humorously. He smiled shyly from underneath his stringy bangs. His wet clothing continued to cling to his upper chest as he leaned over.

"Well ... you're my best friend, Kagome." he said gently as he turned the hot water on a smidgen more.

That's funny." she said quietly. A long silence prevailed until the bath water filled all the way up. "Inu Yasha?" she asked. He looked over at her, and a drop of sweat from the hot steam of the bath rolled down his face. "Come in." she told him and sat with her legs over the ledge.

_**Author's notes**_

So, I decided I would leave this chapter on a cliffhanger of sorts. Maybe you can tell me where this is going. Hehehe.

I'm sure you are all glad that this is going somewhere. Yeah, all, like, thirteen of the the people that are still reading. Sob. But anyways, hope you enjoyed. Next update will come at a reasonable time, within two weeks. Yay!


	38. Loved

**_Allís Fair in Love and War_**

**Chapter Thirty Eight  
_  
_**_Loved_

He looked at her uncomfortably for a moment and then stepped in, just as she had instructed him to. He had to do it. He sat down near her, his legs tucked in front of him. He rested his arms on his knees and his head on his arms, facing her, but not looking at her. What was he supposed to make of this? She wanted to bathe with him?

Why?

For a moment, Kagome said nothing, but he could tell she had something to say. He could see the words in her throat. "Why are you avoiding me?" Kagome asked, almost whimpering. His heart cracked inside his chest at her tone. He felt his eyes burn.

A thick and suffocating silence passed between them. It stabbed into every inch of his skin and penetrated him in a way no knife, no shard of glass, no punch, or kick or glare could ever could. He couldn't bring himself to look upon her. She was so beautiful and so perfect. How could he have done something so horrible like avoid her? She knew, he knew, and the guilt crushed him.

"I'm sorry." He choked out and his eyes filled with water. He hardly held back his tears, merely splashing water onto his face to disguise them. "I'm so sorry." He looked over at her and cringed, because he was so disgusted with himself. He's been ignoring her, abusing her, and now she hated him for it. He knew she hated him for it. How could he have done something so stupid? Didn't he know he was worthless? "So sorry..."

Kagome stared at him and her sadness quickly melted into worry for _him_, for her friend. She pullled her knees into the tub and sat on them, facing him, then reached out and touched his damp shoulder. "Inu Yasha?" she spoke. He didn't look at her. He couldn't. She didn't ask him why he was crying. She didn't tell him to stop. She brought herself closer to him and pulled him to her. His body fell towards her a little and he didn't dare correct it, not if this was what Kagome wanted. _This_ was what she wanted?

She held his head to her chest, so close that her heartbeat was the only thing that he could hear. He sniffled as she cooed to him. "It's okay." She ran her hand across his cheek, wiping away stray hair that clung to his face. "It's okay." He couldn't do anything but stare at the white porcelain rim of the bath tub in front of him.

"I'm sorry." he hissed out, almost as if the words cut the sides of his throat and he forced them out. Her hand held his head closer to her. He could feel her stomach press against him every time she breathed. He had betrayed her and she was holding him? Why so close, Kagome?- he wondered.

"Don't be." she said. "It's okay. It doesn't matter."

He pulled himself away from her and faced the girl. "No, but it does!" he said and wiped his wet eyes. "I treated you so badly. I shouldn't have avoided you!" He looked down and his face scrunched again as he battled his tears. "I'm so sorry..." he murmured again, rubbing his face into his hands.

"Please Inu Yasha, believe me when I say I understand. I know you're my friend. Okay? I guess I just felt ... avoided ... and I kind of ... well, I just wanted to know why. It's nothing, really." she assured him.

"I don't know ... I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to hurt you." he uttered softly. "I didn't want to ..."

"It doesn't hurt." she told him. "But seeing you ... seeing you kill yourself over it ... that does." She paused and looked down, then cleared her throat. "Please, Inu Yasha, don't be sad. I accept your apology." She paused and waited for him to look at her. When he did she continued. "You're important to me ... And really, not that many people are ... not like you are. So please, smile, and don't do it for me, do it for yourself. You don't deserve the punishment you've given yourself." She stated, although seemed the smallest bit detatched from her words. Inu Yasha couldn't help but smile softly. Couldn't she see that that's what he felt about her? No, of course she didn't. Who can see what no one shows them?

She looked away from him and her face contorted into that of one who was about to cry. He could see the pain in her face, the creases in her forehead. "I missed you ... that's all. What came between us?" She knew it as well. She could feel that somehow, for some reason, something had changed. Why was it so wrong to have him near to her? How come everything was dirty now? The bath water rippled as she shifted in her seat.

"I don't know. I didn't want to distance myself ... I felt like ... something was pushing you away..." He felt like he wanted to cry, but other emotions held him strong. He wanted to go closer to her; wanted to press his head against her chest and have her hold him like she did only a moment ago. But he couldn't do that. He could only look over at her and stare longingly, hoping that maybe she would pull him to her- pull him to her because he could not bring himself closer to her. He didn't deserve her. "I missed you too." he murmured, softly. She giggled and grabbed his hand that rested by his side under the water.

"But I'm glad to have you back." she said and smiled sweetly, like she always did.

"Kagome?" She looked at him and widened her eyes slightly, acknowledging him. "Why did you ... why were you always so ... nice ... to me?" he asked, gently.

"Because ..." she said, softly, drawing out the 'ah' sound. "I wanted to be friends with you."

"Why?" he persisted.

"Because ... you reminded me of myself. Because you looked friendly. Because you looked like you needed company. To tell you the truth ... I saw something different in you. You had something Inu Yasha, it was like this honesty and ... and innocence. In your eyes or on your face or ... I can't explain it, but ... I knew I wanted you to be my friend. You looked sad and alone, and I just couldn't let someone like you look like that." She wiggled around in her seat. "And because I thought your ears were cute." She laughed at the last one, quietly. He blushed and noticed the irony of the fact that the same thing that alienated him from every one else, drew the one person he cared about most to him. "Why did you want to know?" she asked him.

"Well, I guess ... I guess since I had been so used to being ignored or laughed at that I couldn't understand why ... why you'd want to be near someone like me." he confessed, nervously.

"Someone like you? You make it sound like a bad thing." she said. "What do you mean, 'someone like me'?"

"You know ... not really one thing or the other. Something inbetween." Then he remembered that Kagome may relate more closely to what he was saying.

"So?" she spoke. It really seemed like she didn't understand what he was saying. "It's never been a problem for me."

"For you?" he said and then paused. "Kagome?"

"Hm?"

"What... what ...?"

"I don't know." she stated, quietly.

"Don't know what?" he asked gently.

"I don't what I ... _am!_" she spat out, and her face twisted into one of confusion and shock. "I have absolutely no idea."

"But how could you ... One of your parents would have to be ..." He droned on in unfinished questions.

"Yeah but that's the problem." she said and looked away from him. "My mom isn't ... She didn't give birth to me. Did she tell you? She had cancer. Doctors had to remove one of her ovaries and the cancer destroyed the other one. She _can't _ have babies." Kagome's voice was flowing with emotion.

"Then ..."

"I was ... adopted." she told him, unsteadily. "And by adopted," she continued without his prodding, "I mean that I was found by my mom on her doorstep when I was hardly three months old." Inu Yasha was completely shocked. He couldn't even understand what was happening. How could the woman he knew as her mother, the one that looked like her, talked like her, and even _smiled _ like her, not be her mother? What was happening? Kagome looked at him, at his shocked face, his wide eyes, and she smiled. "I know it sounds bad but I've gotten over it. I mean, my birthparents must have done me a favor by giving me away. I'd rather have adoptive parents that wanted me than biological ones that dont."

Inu Yasha felt a little lighter inside knowing this. He was angry, of course, at the birth parents that gave away their daughter, their wonderful Kagome. He didn't know how they could have done that. But on the other hand, she has such a wonderful life now. They made her life better. "They lost out ... " he said, trying to reassure her.

She smiled at him and waved a hand. "No, no , no. Don't try to make me feel better. Please. I don't feel bad anymore." she told him.

"When did you ... find out?" he asked tentatively.

"I was around, um, probably ten. Maybe nine. As I grew up I realized that my father didn't look like me. He was Japanese, see, and my mom was American. I look more like her, even though we aren't related by blood. Obviously, I don't really know what ethnicity I am. But the blue eyes ... aren't Japanese."

"I'm sorry." he said, his voice full of compassion.

"You shouldn't be. You didn't do anything." she told him, already accustomed to the boy's horrible habit of apologizing for everything, and he couldn't find a single sad note. He understood what she was saying.

"What I mean is ... I feel bad for you ... for what happened ... It's sad is all." he sputtered.

"Well, I guess I see where you would think that, but, hey, there are kids out there whose parents treat them worse than mine. Being with your birth parents isn't always necessarily best for you." He couldn't have understood more clearly.

"Yeah." he agreed, quietly, and then turned away from her. He wanted to tell her so badly. To tell her how he was beaten, and broken, and crushed, and destroyed. He wanted to spill his guts out onto the floor and into the tub, with the mere hope she'd gather the broken parts of him into her arms, somehow melting them into what he knew was what he was supposed to be. He couldn't do it. His words were glued to the linings of his throat. They wouldn't budge.

Kagome looked at him coyly from under her wet bangs that stuck to the sides of her fore head. "You know, you're the only one who knows what I've just told you." she said slyly and then giggled. Inu Yasha felt himself swell with pride and joy. She was telling him _secrets_. Secrets that not Sango, or Miroku, or any of her former friends have ever known. He felt like he was the only member of an exclusive club. For once, he felt like he was different in a good way.

"So, if you don't know your parents, and you don't look any different ... unless ..." He paused and stared at her face. "This is what you really look like isn't it?" he asked, almost afraid of his own answer for the response it might pose.

"Yup. If it weren't what I look like normally, I wouldn't look like I do now. I'm not into pretending." she said, bluntly.

"Then, how'd you know you were ... well, you know, different?" he asked her, curiously.

"Well ... you know my garden?" she asked and he nodded. "Well, it really is my garden. I grew it myself ... When I was about five or so ... I would walk into the garden and stay there for hours. My parents liked that I was so ... down to earth I guess you could say. What didn't make sense, however, was that there was nothing growing in the garden. It was, at that time, just soil. But things _were_ growing in there! Very soon, Inu Yasha, we had flowers and greens everywhere! But no one had planted seeds. I wasn't making them appear out of nowhere though. I was giving life to the foilage that had died in the garden years ago, when the garden had stopped being attended to." She smiled and blushed. "Inu Yasha, I could bring plants back to life."

"How?"

"I can't put it into words really. It's like I'm ... giving myself up a little. I become so deeply intertwined with them, with the flowers, that ... that ... I don't know, it just happens. Only cause I love gardening, really. Flowers are beautiful."

He smiled and looked at her, asking the obvious. "And people, what about them?"

She looked blankly at the tub rim for quite a while and said to him, "I'm ... not quite sure."

He wished she could, though. He wanted her to bring him back to life like she had the flowers in her garden. To be so close to her; It was all he wanted. "It would be cool ... You could be the best doctor ever, Kagome." She snorted a laugh.

"Yeah, right." He sat the way he had when he first got into the tub, with his legs bent in front of him, his arms on his knees and his head on his arms. She smiled softly, as if she were admiring him. "Hey?"

"Huh?"

"You're being really open tonight." she said, as if she were just acknowledging it. He looked puzzled. "Well, what I mean is ... You are being really ... honest. Not that you weren't before but you're just ... Do you mind if I say that I always had this feeling like part of you was hiding from me? It's like over the past two weeks, you've been kind of ... distant. " She looked at him compassionately, trying to speak as gently to him as she could. "I guess it's cause you were so secretive all the time." she said.

"Yeah ..." he agreed.

"Why? What is it you're hiding? I mean, you don't have to tell me, but sometimes ... I worry for you." She looked away from him and faced him again, shyly. "You never have food. Don't you eat?" She paused and looked at him, the slightest bit of fear alit in her calm blue eyes. "Are you okay?" Her voice trembled.

He felt like she was closing in on him on all sides. His defenses were breeched, she held him at gunpoint, each question as threatening to him as the one before. He swallowed what felt like a rock. "I ... I'm ..." He couldn't bring himself to lie to her, but he couldn't tell her the truth, either. He was at a stalemate, a stagnant, silent block that could not be moved or avoided. He had only one option and that was to stay silent. Kagome waited patiently for an answer, and until she realized she wouldn't recieve one, she spoke to him. His silence was enough of an answer.

She crawled nearer to him, inching horribly slowly, facing him, and leaned against him, her arms holding him near as she pressed her lips against his cheek in a sideways kiss. She could feel his shoulders twitch as she did so. He was looking down in front of him, too shocked to smile, but too happy to make any other facial expression. His face was blank, confused.

She didn't know why he felt this way. Why he couldn't understand that someone could care for him, or want to be near him. She pulled away from him slowly, softly, her warm hands staying in place around his shoulders. She did not move too far from his face, not wanting to destroy the closeness, the intimacy. "You'll be okay." She said, and it almost sounded as if she were assuring herself. "I'll protect you." she told him. "You'll be okay. I swear to God, Inu Yasha, you will." Her body stayed that close to him for moment, and then she pulled away.

She stood and Inu Yasha could hear the water running down her back, trickling in webs down her legs and splashing into the bath tub. She stepped out of the bath tub, and he could see her feet shuffling around. She was wrapping a towel around herself. "I'm ... going to change. I'll do it in the living area and you can change in the bedroom. Okay?" He looked up at her so quickly that if she had blinked, she would have missed it. He then nodded slowly. She took a few steps and she was gone. The door she left open and he could hear her drop his things on the bed in the bedroom. After a small while, he stood up from the tub and stumbled to the bedroom, the cold air chilling him instantly. He pulled off his wet white shirt and then went back to the bathroom with new dry clothing. The wet things he left in the sink, and after drying himself with a towel, he pulled on his makeshift pajamas- another shirt which was too big for him, and shorts. He rung out his hair and the water fell to the ground with large irregular 'plunk's.

He flicked off the bathroom light, and then stood in the dark still bed room for a while before crawling under the heavy sheets of the bed. He smiled because it really was as confortable as he thought it would be. He did not lay still for long though because he heard Kagome knock on the door. "Are you dressed?" she asked him.

"Yeah." he called, softer than he should have, but she heard. The door creaked open, the ray of light from the living area growing thicker and larger as the door opened. She stepped in slowly, and he knew she was still adjusting to the darkness. She almost closed the door behind her, but did not do it completely. He heard her inching towards him, her clean bare feet padding across the soft carpet of the room. To his surprise she crawled into the bed, and lay on her side next to him. A silence overcame the room and it stood deathly still.

He turned towards her, laying on his side as well and looked at her curiously. There were so many things he wanted to ask and so many things he wished her could tell her. She drew herself closer to him and wrapped her arms around him, kissing him gently again, but this time on the lips. He tentatively pulled her nearer to him, his arms touching her so gently, holding her the smallest bit closer to him. He pressed his lips against hers unskillfully, not fully understanding what was happening, but not exactly wanting to either. She pulled her lips away slightly and kissed him again. Her lips were so soft and warm and he wanted nothing more than to feel them on his forever. Every inch of his skin was on fire, and every hair on his body was on end. Her hands were pressed against his back and he had couldn't remember ever feeling so vividly alive or well.

She kept her lips against his for a while, every so often pulling away, but not too far away, so that she could kiss him again, at a different angle, in a different way. He felt every ounce of pain and human suffering lift away from him, and off of his shoulders. He felt like he would gladly recieve any number of beatings from his father to kiss her again. She poured herself into every touch, every gentle kiss, and when she pulled away he thirsted for her to be nearer still. He knew that if she left his side he would shrivel away and dy out, leaving only a dead husk of what he was before behind. She filled him totally and completely, and with every kiss she gave him, he felt himself growing yet thirstier and thirstier.

Somehow, he couldn't understand how he had lived so long without her.

His legs and hers intertwined, and he was closer to her still. He pressed her to his chest and she held him tighter. She had taken him in, and in her grasp, nothing could hurt him. Nothing existed, and nothing mattered.  
**_  
Author's Notes_**

**By the way, this IS NOT and I repeat, IS NOT, a lemon. Yeah, no sex.**

Yesh, they kiss, they cuddle, they make my fangirls pant and drool generously.

Hehe, I dont care if you're one of those people who 'duznt rlly review' pleeease tell me how I did with the squish. This is my first kiss in a while, (A BIG while) so needless to say, I'm kinda hyped, but still nervous. I hope I didn't totally screw over my entire story by doing this.

Oh, angst-o-rama.

By the way, the whole scene in the bed in a mirror scene. I dont know if thats already a literary term but if it isnt then what it means is its a distorted reflection of a previous scene, several factors being the same, but something in it differs and thus changes the entire mood and tone. In this case, I was mirroring the scene where they sleep on the roof. I then swapped out the roof for a bed and the sky for a cieling, and the innocent cuddling and blushing with **PASSION**! (Huzzah.) However, I title this chapter because, well, let's think of chapter six/seven as his ultimate LOW point ... conversely, this is his high and definitely most happy point. Yay, Inu Kun is tying things together.

Toodles. Ta-ta. Tootsie roll.


	39. The Morning After

_**All's Fair in Love and War**_

**Chapter Thirty Nine**

_The Morning After_

She curled her body around his, wrapping her leg around his waist so that she clung to him. Their bodies together created enough warmth so that they didn't need any blankets, only the other. Hands wove through his hair curiously, noting the softness and the fine quality of the silver locks.

Somehow, when she had kissed him, she had unlocked him. There were no boundaries. Nothing was off limits. No touch, no kiss, no grasp. In the secrecy of this dark room they belonged to no one but the other, and no thought filled their minds but the skin of the other's body against their hands, their arms, their legs. For a moment, he was openly and completely hers. When she pulled herself close to him, he would wrap and arm around her. He would not look away, he would not stare blankly at the cieling, but he would hold her in his arms- his skinny little arms.

Inu Yasha spoke out. "When I was little ... My mom used to put me to bed every night." Kagome smiled and kissed the top of his head affectionately. "She'd spend a really long time too! Almost an hour, every single night. A whole hour, just for me." he said, reminiscent of such times.

"You're lucky." she told him. "My dad thought that it was good to let babies cry until they stop. Something about how pampered children grow up to be pampered adults. When I acted out, he would make me go to bed early and he would only say 'Good night!' and then close the door."

"Did you ever leave your room?" he asked curiously.

She giggled. "Nah, I was too afraid of worse punishment. Plus, I always knew my mom would sneak into my room to sing me a song and kiss my forehead, just lilke this-" And then she tilted his head up and kissed his forehead. "and then she would sneak out and tell me 'Daddy doesn't need to know, right?' as if he didn't know she was in my room." She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Of course he knew. I didn't know he did, but whatever ... Sometimes they would fight about it. My mom brushed it off like it was nothing. You do know that she can't hep but do everything for children. She just loves them so much. I swear, if it weren't for the cancer, I'd have a family big enough to make proper use of the shrine. The entire shrine." She snorted a laugh.

"That sounds so mean of him ...my mom was more like your mom." he said

"Yeah, it sounds mean, but he only did it because he thought it was best for me. He loved me, he really did." she said. "Though sometimes I'm not so sure ... my mom convinces me otherwise."

"Oh ..." he said. "Why?" he questioned.

She repositioned herself near him and paused. "I don't ... I don't really want to talk about it now." she murmured through a very hurt tone. He held her tighter, feeling her sadness as if it were his own.

"Okay." he said, and he pushed no further.

She lifted the hand that rested around him and tucked it in towards her. "Do you mind?" she asked softly and gently touched one of his ears.

"Um, it's fine." he said. She was the first person, besides his mother that had felt them. He knew what myths were flying around. That if you touch the ears, you'll be cursed, or you'll have bad fortune, or your fingers will turn black and fall clean off your hand. He had no idea where people thought of these things, only that he heard them when he was little. "I remember once someone looked at me, it was some kid in my third grade class, and he wanted to know how long he could look at me before he turned into stone." he told her.

"That's horrible." she said sympathetically. "And stupid. They had the wrong myth. You're far too beautiful to be Medusa, Inu Yasha." He turned a curious shade of red.

"But because of them," he said, and by them, he meant everyone, "I have to clip my fingernails." He pulled his hands up towards her and let her examine them. "Or else they grow too sharp and pointy and long."

She rubbed his ear with her thumb. "But I like your claws. AndI like your ears too." she said softly. "They're what make you, you. Besides, they make you look ... puppy-ish."

"Puppy-ish?" he squealed. "But I don't want to look puppy-ish!"

"They _are_ dog ears."

"So?"

"SO- I say they make you look like a puppy. Although they do kind of look like cat ears." A few seconds later, she started laughing so hard that she had to start wheezing for air.

"What? What's so funny?" he asked, defensively.

"Inu Yasha," she managed to get out, inserting a couple of laughs in between her words, "you're a ... hehehe ... a ... west highland terrier demon!" A burst of giggles erupted from her and he took her statement as a joke.

"Haha, very funny." he said, and that was just about the closest he would ever come to sarcasm.

Kagome continued laughing for a while more and then kissed him sweetly. "I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist." She said, and nuzzled against him. "But really, they do have the same ears as you, which is good, because you know what? I like their ears." He grinned and snorted a couple laughs and raised her body so that she was slightly above his head, and she pressed her lips against his ear.

"You kissed my ear." he said and couldnt help but laugh shyly.

"I know." she chirped. "Its so soft. I had to."

"Kagome ..." he said softly and rolled his eyes. They lay together, content, for a while, and then Kagome spoke.

"Hey? Why'd you tell Sango Shippou was your cousin?" she asked him, seeming very interested in what he'd say in response. "I mean, I thought about it and the only thing I could think of was ... that you didn't want Sango or Miroku to judge him but they wouldn't do that. You know they aren't like that, right?" Her voice was at the same time nervous and strangely reassuring.

"No ... It's not that." he said thoughtfully. He put his mind to work at deciding why exactly he did tell her that. He knew why, but he couldn't find the right words to say it. "I guess ..." he started slowly, "I guess because I ... wanted to know if she would notice ... You know, that I was lying?" he said.

"Why would you want to know that?" she asked curiously.

"I don't know." he muttered. But the thing was, he did know. He knew exactly why it was he lied to Sango. Because Sango was just like every other girl in his school, your typical high schooler. And if she noticed, then he knew that everyone else would, but she didn't. Shippou fit right into her world. Her world full of average human activity, her normalness, her basic and simple downright humanity. Shippou was just like her. He fit in, he passed as one of them. At the tender age of one cat year, Shippou had accomplished more than Inu Yasha could ever hope to do. He became human.

Inu Yasha tried to push the thought away and convince himself otherwise, that no, Shippou was a demon deep down inside, and that no, he was far from human, and that he himself was actually more human than his unofficially adopted cat child. But what he realized, and this knowledge fell heavily upon him, was that genetics didn't matter, and the cruel irony that someone who was actually half human could be more demonic looking than a full demon crushed him. Shippou was his, why didn't he want to be like him? -like his role model? -like his Inu Yasha? Like the boy who had fathered him and protected him and loved him more than his _own parents_? Why did he want to be human? He remembered how proud he was of his new skill and he was devestated.

"Shippou really likes Sango." Kagome said, randomly, driving the knife deeper into his gut and twisting it.

"Yeah..." he murmured. He closed his eyes and pulled himself closer to her, trying to ease this unfulfillable craving he had to have every inch of his skin be touching her. He wanted to pull himself to her and she would wrap around him like a blanket, swallowing him, enveloping him in her arms and holding him safely there. Because in her arms, he could not be sad, he could not be hurt, he could not even feel pain. He yawned and as he did so his ears flattened against his head. Kagome stroked them back again as they came up.

He felt her hand snake its way under his shirt. Her warm fingers crawled up his torso and finally fell, palm first, on to his chest. He smiled sheepishly as he realized what she was doing. He felt his heart beat and his chest pulse against her hands, and he almost wanted it to beat harder, as it always did when she was near him, so that she could feel it too. He put his hand on top of hers, on the other side of the shirt. "Your hands are warm."

Scars? What scars? He couldn't remember pain. Not when she was so close to him. Not when he was within her arm's length. Not when her hands were so warm.

"You're tired." she told him, and he felt tired. "I'll sing you to sleep." she whispered to him, her voice sweet and soft.

So she sang. Her music filled his ears and the pleasant song brought equally pleasant dreams. He saw his mother, sitting down on his bed, holding him, singing to him, singing the exact same song Kagome was humming now. That was where it came from, he remembered, before the overwhelming desire to sleep blew away his thoughts like dust, and with them, his consciousness.

* * *

His eyes fluttered open slowly, and clenched shut immediately. It was bright. Through the paper thin curtains, sunshine blasted the white walls with light which stung his eyes. He curled his legs up into a ball, his arms reaching out to pull her nearer, but she wasn't there. Kagome wasn't there. 

He panicked for a moment and stayed frozen in a half curled ball, his arms darting around the bed, searching for a trace of her. A graze of his hand on her arms, a whisp of hair against his fingertips was all he needed to reassure him. He just needed to know she was there, beside him. But she wasn't. He tried opening his eyes but was half way blinded by the light. Through the white, he could see another large bed, with messy sheets, and dented pillows. Sango and Miroku. Where ever had they been when he and Kagome were together?

He rolled around on the bed for a while, stretching and yawning his way into consciousness. He eventually sat up, his legs hanging over the side of the bed, and rubbed his eyes. After he had cleared his vision, he noticed that on the table between to two beds was a note made out to him. It read:

_-Inu Yasha_

_Hey Inu Yasha ! All three of us went down to eat breakfast, since we were REALLY hungry, but we vowed to stay there until you met us, so hurry hurry hurry! Throw on some clothes and meet us- we miss you!  
_  
He smiled sheepishly, and then put the card gingerly into his luggage bag.

_'We miss you!'_

He did as he was instructed, promptly putting on the only other available clothing he had, which unfortunately involved wearing the shirt he had on yesterday. He then left the room, and dashed down into the lobby, stopping to ask a hotel staffperson where he could find the breakfast room. He was given some vague directions which he didn't really need, because, he realized, he could smell his way to the food. The soup and eggs beckoned to him.

He eventually entered a large dinng room that had tables and tables of different morning food. He searched for his friends and he found Sango and Kagome sitting and laughing, half finished plates of food in front of them. He walked over to them and the nearer he got to Kagome, the more nervous he felt. She looked at him and smiled pleasantly, shyly, and with a light pink color tinting her cheeks. He felt like the entire world could see her kissing him, see him touching her. When she smiled at him, though, none of it mattered. He took the only seat that had no plate in front of it, which happened to be by Kagome, and sat down.

"Inu Yasha, you sure slept!" Sango exclaimed.

"Yeah, he was really tired." said Kagome. She leaned over to him and touched his cheek softly. "Weren't you, dear?" She giggled with Sango as she pulled away and Inu Yasha's cheeks felt hot, even after her hand left.

"Where's Shippou?" he asked.

"Getting food with Miroku." Sango replied.

"Getting food?" he asked, looking honestly confused. "I thought they brought the food to you?"

"This is buffet style dining." Sango told him. He looked at her blankly. "You know, you can just go up to the table and take whatever food you want."

He felt something against his legs and it was Shippou, whose tiny arms hugged his leg. He picked the child up and held him close to him.

"Shippou, you left your food on the floor!" Sango told him, laughing. He looked at her and his eyes widened as he blushed and squirmed out of Inu Yasha's arms, going to pick up the plate he dropped in his rush to hug the thigh of his surrogate father.

"Oh god." said Miroku, humorously as he sat down with a bowl of soup. "Let's hope he's still full from yesterday or we'll have to ask the kitchen staff to work harder!" With that comment, Inu Yasha, feeling a tad more self conscious, decided to force rationing upon himself, taking only one course at a time, instead of shoveling whatever looked good onto his plate. He got some rolls and raw eggs to dip them in. He looked longingly at the sausages, and decided that he would wait until after he finished the eggs and pancakes.

He ate quietly, dipping the rolls into the cool egg, whose broken yolk mixed around the tiny cup, turning everything orange, listening to the table conversation as the rest of them picked at their food. Kagome asked Sango where they had been when she and he were in the hotel room (and she passed a coy smile at Inu Yasha). Sango had explained that after they had done some more swimming, they wanted even more dessert, and when Shippou tasted vanilla ice cream, he fell in love. Sango bought him some in a cup and, curiously, he refused to use a spoon, wanting to lick the ice cream out of the cup. All of the ice cream.

Inu Yasha started to think about what he would have done if Sango and Miroku had walked in and saw him with Kagome. He wondered for a moment, what would they think?

Part of him felt awkward, sitting with Kagome and Miroku and Sango. He knew what had happened. Kagome knew. But everyone seemed so nonchalant. It was like the world continued moving, time continued moving, and no one seemed to care. Did Kagome care? She did, right? She kissed him, she held him, she let him touch her. Why did everything feel so normal? Hadn't something changed?

She looked over to him and that sly smile he had seen so much of this morning tugged the corners of her mouth upwards. "I'm surprised." she said. "I thought you would take much more than that." She rested her chin on her hand and looked down at his plate, as he took the last bite of his food.

He looked away shyly. "Well, I mean, um, I'm probably going to have some more ... later." He looked at his empty plate and felt unnerved. He wanted to pile food onto it. Whether he even ate the food or not didn't matter, he just wanted it to be there.

He picked up his plate and went to the buffet table, shyly, to refill it. Sango called out to him "Inu Yasha, you just leave the plate here! They take it away and you get a new one. Haven't you ever been to a buffet before?" He looked over at her and darted back towards the table to put his plate.

"Oh, sorry." he mumbled.

"Well, it's fine. I guess it woud probably be easier for the kitchen staff if you re-used plates." He started back towards the buffet table with his plate. "But you don't have to!" He turned back around and put the plate on the table. Fine, he was getting soup. You don't use plates to eat soup. He returned to the table with a steaming bowl of miso and sipped it slowly

He listened to his friends' breakfast conversation. Excited talk about the events of the day filled the air. Sea shells, and ocean side shops that sold useless trinkets to fill your shelves, sand and salty blue water drifted through the conversation. He admired Kagome through his bangs, smiling softly and looking away, down at his food.

After being taken away from the all wonderful amazing buffet bar, the group traveled out of the hotel. After a short limo ride they were dropped off on a street that was covered with exactly the shops that Inu Yasha had imagined from their conversation. He could see small shops selling bathing suits and sea shells, he could smell salt and fish like odors not far off, and he could hear the not so distant roar of the ocean colliding with the shore. A light breeze whipped his hair against his back, and he pulled his jacket closer to him to shelter himself from the cold.

The five of them wandered the road, captivated by the small section of city that seemed like it's own little planet, even though the tall sky scrapers that characterized modern Japan outlined their world, framing the fish markets, and the sea shops with points, and smoke towers that bellowed fumes. Kagome walked closely to Inu Yasha's side, tossing a comment his way ever once in a while, but other than that, they spoke little. Inu Yasha wanted to remember every detail of this place, because he hadn't seen anything like it before. He had grown too used to normal every day schools and houses. He heard a ship blow its deep horn, and saw little men in the distance unloading crates filled with fish.

Suddenly, he heard Shippou squeal and he wasn't sure if it was in pleasure or pain so he ran ahead of Miroku and Sango and looked over to Shippou's figure melting into the crowd. He followed after him dutifully, and when he caught up to him, he picked him up and lightly scolded him. "Shppou, don't run away like that!" he said sternly. Shippou squirmed and looked down.

"But there's ..." he looked over in the direction he was running and whimpered. A sign shaped like an ice cream cone, advertising a shop that sold just such food caught his eyes.

"You want ice cream?" he asked, and then squinted one eye. Shippou nodded, and pouted. "You're going to have to ask Sango."

Shippou ran over to Sango and tugged her skirt. They exchanged a few words and suddenly, Inu Yasha found that his group was walking over towards him. "Ice cream it is then!" he heard Sango cheer.

"Yay!" Shippou shouted, gleefully, and clapped his hands.

"What flavor are you getting, Shippou?" she asked him.

"White." he replied. She laughed, and Kagome, who was just to the right of Sango, let loose a chuckle.

"White's not a flavor! You mean to say vanilla." she corrected him.

They went inside the small shop and stood messily at the counter, staring at the freezer full of cold treats. Kagome and Miroku got chocolate, Sango got coffee, Inu Yasha got strawberry, and Shippou, of course, got his vanilla. Inu Yasha watched in amazement as Sango swiped her credit card through the small machine. She looked so old. He could barely tell she was hardly fourteen yet.

Shippou seemed to swallow the ice cream whole, and Inu Yasha wondered if any actually made it to his stomach, because it seemed to make a nice comfy living on the entire area of his face.

Inu Yasha stood to get Shippou, to take him to the restroom and clean his face. He grabbed the boy by the hand, and he felt the sticky palm against his larger one. The tiny fingers wound around him as he concentrated all of his energy on licking every trace of vanilla cream off of the fingers not being held. He took him inside the men's room and Inu Yasha held Shippou's fingers under the water, rubbing them softly to remove all of the stickiness. The boy squirmed and giggled. "That tickles." he squealed. Inu Yasha pressed his thumb into the boys hand. Shippou danced in place and laughed. "Hey!" He pulled his hands away and flicked them at Inu Yasha, spraying water droplettes at him.

"You're getting me all wet!" Inu Yasha said. Shippou stuck his tongue out at him, through a grin. Inu Yasha smirked at him and made a roaring sound. "You won't like me when I'm wet!" he grumbled, playfully. Shippou squealed and clasped his hands over his mouth. Effortlessly, Inu Yasha flung Shippou over her shoulder and carried him out to the table where his friends sat. The boy squirmed and giggled cheerfully as he lay over Inu Yasha's shoulder.

Inu Yasha took a seat and then placed Shippou on his lap. "Are you all clean now Shippou?" Sango asked him, her voice sweet and high pitched. Shippou nodded and smiled, showing her his hands, proudly, fingers wiggling. Clawed fingers wiggling.

_**Author's Knotes**_

If you have never seen a west highland terrier, PLEASE, go to google image search and you will see tons of little Inu Yasha ears.

This update is a day or two late. Sorry. Blame Tetris DS.

Also, AFILAW's birthday is on the 24th. Hooray! Everyone bring cake and soda and we can have a party! My baby is turning two, and two is far too old.


	40. Fingernails

**_All's Fair in Love and War_**

**Chapter Forty**

_Fingernails_

Shippou's grin and twinkling eyes went unnoticable to Inu Yasha, who panicked as the clawed fingers wiggled in front of him. He pulled the boy's hands in and squeezed them tightly in his own. Shippou looked down at the fingers with the claws, and back at Inu Yasha. Sango didn't appear to notice. 

Curiously, Shippou's ears didn't appear. Only the claws. Why just the claws?

Shippou peered back up at Sango and Miroku, and his other friends. They were begginning to talk among themselves. He peered under the table. His small fingers were covered by Inu Yasha's. His long sharp claws hidden by Inu Yasha's crookedly clipped ones. He gazed at the boy, his wide green eyes almost slightly afraid. "They can't see them." he murmered, like a ventriloquist, whose lips didn't move. From his mouth came words only audible to Shippou, who could hear them, even in his human form.

Shippou, even though still a very young child, seemed to understand the concepts of such thing as shame, and the importance of the human mask. Inu Yasha gripped the child's hand tighter, like a signal for him to change back, to make the claws go away. Miroku, who sat two seats away from him, looked at him curiously. Trying to hide the fact that he had a certain interest with what was happening under the table. Inu Yasha looked up at him and tugged the corners of his mouth upwards a little bit, and Miroku cleared his throat and looked away.

Inu Yasha looked at the boys' fingers, relieved to see them claw free. He released what seemed to be a balloon's worth of air from his lungs in a sigh. "I'm finished." sighed Sango.

"Me too." said Kagome.

"Should we go?" asked Miroku.

"Are you all done?" Sango asked Shippou and Inu Yasha. Their heads bobbled up and down. "Then let's go!" The group exited the parlor, throwing away cups and napkins on their way out.

The rest of the day passed just as all good days pass. Too quickly. They ate lunch later on, played at the beach, and Sango recieved a strange entertainment from the size of the shops along the beach, as compared to the department stores she was used to in the cities and urban America.

At the moment, the group was sitting in the limo, things already packed up and away in the trunk. They left the hotel at around seven, after eating dinner.

The ride back home was quieter. Inu Yasha sat on the edge and Sango sat next to him, and on the other side of him was Kagome, whose head lolled against the back of the seat as she slept. "Sango ... I was just wondering..." he mumbled. Sango turned to him, after she stopped pinching Kagome's cheek, which she had been doing for a while now, for some reason. She giggled girlishly and smiled. "I want to give you my present now ... Is that okay?" Sango shrugged and then smiled again.

"Sure?" she said. He leaned forward and then pulled a paper out from behind him. He handed it to her so that the picture was facing the car seat. She took it carefully and then flipped it over. "OHMYGOD!" She shrieked, like it was one word. She took in a giant breath of air and put her hand over her mouth. "That's so amazing! You drew it yourself?" He nodded, proudly, absorbing the attention like a sponge. "It's perfect Inu Yasha!" she beamed at him and then threw her arms around his torso, squeezing him tightly in an awkward sideways hug. "I love it so much! I'll hang it on my wall when I get home, kay?"

He beamed proudly, and then blushed and looked away. "You're ... welcome." he muttered. "It was nothing..." he said and grinned.

"I love tigers!" she squealed. "How did you know?"

"Um ... guessed ...?"

"See Miroku?" she said, presenting the picture to the boy sitting next to Kagome, "See how nice and pretty it is?" Miroku's face went white, almost like his head had been flushed and a secret drain pipe behind his head carried away all his color. He gave Inu Yasha a pitiful look that almost said 'my present sucks compared to yours'. She turned back to Inu Yasha and smiled warmly.

"Besides ..." Inu Yasha started, "it's the least I could do for you after taking me with you here."

"To my birthday party?" she asked and raised a brow. She gave him a confused look and then laughed. "You're funny, Inu Yasha." He felt outcasted. You weren't supposed to thank people for inviting you to their parties? He squirmed and pressed his back into the seat. "It was nothing, really!"

"I mean .. well, it's just a really nice hotel, is all ... and it was really nice to invite me ..."

Sango started laughing quietly. "Oh ... that! No, it was literally nothing ... My dad owns that hotel. Thats what he does. He owns hotels ... or something like that."

"He ... oh ..." Inu Yasha felt stupid for a moment, again.

"I mean, not that like, if he didn't own it we would have stayed in a crappy hotel or anything!" she corrected and waved her hands. "But don't thank me, it's really fun to have you around. And not to mention, you keep my Kagome company." He felt nervousness bubble within him. Did she see them the night before? She couldn't have ... Did he close the door? He thought he did, but all of a sudden he couldn't remember. He would have heard them come in right?

He smiled unsurely at her. Apperently, if she saw, she didn't think much of it because she quickly went back to pinching at Kagome's cheeks. "Hey, you're ... you're going to wake her up!" She looked at him and put her finger over her lips, but continued squeezing her cheek with the other hand.

"So are you, loudmouth!" she said and laughed. Inu Yasha bit his lower lip softly. "Say, Inu Yasha?" she questioned randomly. He gave her his attention. "Do you like her?" she asked him. He stared at her dumbly. "Kagome?" she added, as if he were unclear on who 'she' was.

Instantly, in his mind, he knew the answer. But he couldn't bring himself to answer her. He stuttered random 'um's and 'i's but found he was only mumbling himself into a grave.

Kagome suddenly snapped awake and her head fell forward as she blinked into consciousness. "What are you doing?" she asked as she slapped Sango's hand away from her cheek and started to laugh uncontrollably.

"What? You're no fun when you're asleep!" she whined. She suddenly remembered the picture she was holding. "Oh! Look!" she shouted as she shoved the picture in her face. Kagome took it in her fingers softly and smiled. "Inu Yasha made it for my birthday."

She looked at him coyly. "It's beautiful." She started giggling. "I feel like if I touch it, I will start to feel the tiger's fur." she said quietly. "You're so talented, Inu Yasha."

"Are you going to be an artist when you grow up?" Sango asked as she took back her prize.

He stared at her blankly and thought for a while. He then realized that he had been so concerned with merely surviving that he hadn't put any thought into the future. Up until recently, he didn't think he had one. "I dunno ... I would like it ... I think ... If I could, I mean."

"I think you can do it Inu Yasha." she said, and he could tell it was sincerely spoken. He smiled shyly, and she grinned back. She knew he didn't believe her, and more importantly, that she couldn't persuade him.

"I mean... I guess I am better than some people but I'm not really that good." he spoke, dragging out the 'that'.

"Not that good?" Kagome spoke sarcastically, holding up the picture of the tiger and raising an eyebrow.

"Well ... I worked really hard on that particular picture." Sango seemed to like that fact and gleemed as she snatched up the picture. "See, Miroku?" she said as she held up the picture of the large cat's face to the boy. "Look at how hard he worked to make this for me." She told to the boy, comparing him to Inu Yasha for the second time that night.

"Hey, you haven't even seen what I've gotten you!" he replied, and his voice had the slighest bitter bite to it. Inu Yasha had a feeling Sango picked up on this because pretty soon after the ensuing silence, Sango stood and stumbled her way across Kagome, squeezing her way between her and him. She fell on Miroku's shoulder and grasped his hand tightly.

Kagome eased her way over to Inu Yasha, slowly sliding over the black leather seats. She glided against him and pressed into his side, nonchalantly rolling her head from side to side, as if she were stretching. The thing was, as she stretched towards him on the last roll she pressed her lips against the side of his neck in a half kiss and he felt the soft smooth skin of her lips rub from the back of his head near the hairline as she was stretching, across the skin below his jaw, like a whisper, ever so slowly she pulled away from him, he felt her face on the side of his arm. God, when she did things like that.

He was the last one to get dropped off, and the only person that would see him get out would be Sango, who probably wouldnt even get out of the car, just see him off from her seat. For this, he was extremely glad and he couldn't exactly say why. For some reason, he could see every worst possible scenario playing out as the limo pulled to his house. His father could be like he is most of the times on the weekends. His friends could be over with him. He never quite knew what his father did on the weekends, except for that most of the time, it didnt involve being home.

As the car pulled towards his house he wished that Kagome's house had not been closer to the hotel they had stayed at. He wished she were there, to hold his hand.

The building gloomed in the distance like a prison, and he could feel his heartbeat quicken inside his chest. His knees felt weak. His stomach felt empty. He awkwardly exited the vehicle and grabbed the bag with his things out of the trunk. He waved to Sango as he grabbed Shippou's sleeping body out of the car and thanked her again profusely before he finally closed the door and watched the limo disappear behind the curb.

He turned around and slowly made his way up the block, with Shippou lying sleepily in his arm. The boy was hardly awake. He hadn't gotten much sleep last night. The boy's warm breath fanned Inu Yasha's arms which were still pretty chilly from the air conditioning. In the other hand, a bag filled with old clothing dangled by his side.

He walked slowly up the driveway. Occasionally, he would stop and hold Shippou closer to him. He felt uplifted somehow, having the child back with him, not distracted by the allure of the human world. They were back to their own normal life. He had him back.

He walked first to his room and climbed carefully through the window, gingerly setting Shippou down on his bed and covering him completely in the thin sheet on his bed as he was accustomed to. He kneeled beside the bed and placed his hand on the body for a small while. He felt his chest go up and down, felt the boys small quick heartbeat, as if it would stop beating at any moment.

After he was sure of Shippou's safety and his palm was damp and radiating the heat he had absorbed from the boy's body, he ventured into the house. His step was tentative, and soft. He creeped silently, and shado like, pressing himself as closely to the walls as he could. He listened closely, trying to detect any sound, any movement, any breath other than his own supressed air. He wandered into the room with the television and found it was on. This was no surprise, as his father would often leave it on for days without turning it off, even though he was not in the house. He hated the sound of television but was utterly subdued by the lights it emitted, that filled a dark room. He found that as long as the man was distracted by this seemingly boring picture box, he could avoid most pain and beatings.

The sound nearly drove him insane though. The constant murmurings that blended into a roar of cheering sports fans, studio audience laughter, loud crashes, yelling, and sighing, screaming, groaning. When he was left alone for days at a time he remebered standing for hours at a time, with one finger on the power button. He'd consider turning it off, but it felt like every time he pushed his finger any further forwards, he'd feel his father burst through the door, yelling at him, getting angry and disappointed and upset. That happened a lot, though.

He approached the button and placed his finger over it. He looked around the dark room, viewing the flickering lights and changing colors. Then he pushed the button and watched as the entire room went dark. He stood completely still for a moment. He felt his legs shake and a strange convulsive blinking spell somehow fell over him. Nothing happened. The house was just as empty and dark, and stagnant as it was before he had come in. He had known his father wasn't there the second he had entered the house but for some reason, he felt like any second now, his father would burst in through the front door, his eyes blood shot and his movement unsure and wobbly. He hated that the most. The man didnt even seem human when he was like that. Not even close.

He sat on the sofa facing the television and pulled his knees in towards him and hugged them close to his body. He rested his head on his knees and thought of Kagome. She was so intoxicating in a way he couldn't even understand. For some reason, he felt as if all the tension and unrest had disappeared as she kissed him that night. Even if it was just for a day, or for that night, for that small amount of time, he hadn't thought about anything else. Not his parents, not his school, his past, his future, his anything, because in that moment she was everything.

What struck him, however, was that aside from the small amount of ease that ensued, nothing amazing seemed to change. Everything flowed. The next day he woke up, he met everyone for breakfast, they smiled at one another shyly, almost as if to find amusement in the cluelesness of their comrades. He didn't need her, or want her, or love her any more or any less. It was a simple kiss. Their lips had just touched each other's, but he found a very pure, clean delight in the basic affection. For a few moments, she had pulled him close to her body, and she had kissed him and he merely reciprocated. It was overwhelming, yet incredibly simple.

He somehow had a feeling that what he loved most about it, what he needed most and desired above all was not her lips kissing his, not her fingers against his back, not her soft skin, her warmth, her beauty; none of these, because these could be found in any girl of equal attractiveness. He longed for something else, the thing that made him want any of her in the first place. He wanted that.

He lived for it.

**_Author's Notes:_**

Hello hello hello. Hahaha. Well, long story short, I had lost my inspiration for quite a while. Apperently for about two months. I have been busy with 11th grade (EEP junior year!) and I did an Outward Bound course over the summer. (I am SO EFFING PROUD OF THIS PIN, YOU HAVE NO IDEA.) oh and did I mention? My dads getting divorced. So much for ... that. Didnt last long (6 months) yet, so much angst.

Somehow I have regained a second wind. Probably because I have gotten back my inspiration (probably after reading some of my FAVORITE authors stuff :P You know who you are!) and I went back to AFILAW and I am just SHOCKED I could forget, even for a week, how much I utterly LOVE this story Dont worry, readers, I WILL procrastinate, but I would NEVER abandon this story.

I love it with all my stupid sentimental heart. The day it grows up and leaves home is the day I cry myself to sleep and console myself with a pint of Haagen Daas coffee ice cream.


	41. Dirty

**_Allís Fair in Love and War_**

**Chapter Forty One**

_Dirty  
_  
Inu Yasha found himself stirred from his thoughts when the front door burst open and he heard his father collapse on the rug near the opening. He heard that man cough roughly a few times then he slowly approached him and stood by his body for a moment, wondering if the man even knew he was standing there. He knew he couldnt just lie there all night.

Slowly, Inu Yasha kneeled beside him, gently pulling the mans arm over his shoulder and hoisting him up with all his strength, and he aided him to his room. He had never been allowed in the man's room, ever since he was little, and he soon saw why. All around the floor, the dresser, the bed, were littered remnants of the horrors of the adult world. If it were any other time and any other day, he would be shaking on the floor, because even after years of being exposed to these things; the drugs, the needles, the weapons, the utter grime and dirtiness, he had managed to keep himself at a reasonable distance from everything.

Stepping in this room felt somewhat like dying a slow and incredibly painful death.

He kept on walking, slowly, steadily, and with as much care and gentleness as he would have used to support Shippou, or Kagome, or any other of his friends. The man was dead weight in his arms, and on his shoulders. He carefully maintained his posture, even though the weight on his shoulders was at least twice that of his own body.

"Sick..." the man mumbled. "Th... throw up." he gargled pathetically. This made enough sense to Inu Yasha who walked even faster now, trying to get to the bathroom to set his father beside the toilet so that the contents of the man's stomach did not end up on the floor of his bedroom, where it would mesh and blend with the dirtiness and stench surrounding the room. It would go unnoticed.

He trudged through the remainder of the room and into the man's bathroom. The man on his shoulders grunted occasionally and Inu Yasha responded by contorting and twisting to a position he thought would be more comfortable for him. The master bathroom was floored with hard tile which was a bit easier for Inu Yasha because the man apperently found a second wind and weakly supported himself with his feet, stumbling his way towards the toilet. The trip was as exhausting as it was long but Inu Yasha did not feel tired. He didn't feel weak. Or scared. Only strange. It was as if the positions were changed and his father were just a giant sickly child he was caring for as the father.

It seemed that as soon as the man's knees touched the tile of the bathroom floor, the contents of his stomach burst into the bowl, propelled by some reflex, or some chemical within him. Inu Yasha was glad that he had waited this long and that the entire house did not have to smell like half digested food for the next month. The mixture of chunks of food, an orange bubbly liquid and a clear thick mucous like substance filled the bowl pretty quickly and settled in the water. The man heaved and choked and gagged for at least ten minutes, although it could have been longer.

Inu Yasha simply stood above him and watched him. A twinge of discomfort pulled at the inside of his chest, but other than that, he was pretty okay, as if this happened every night. This particular situation didn't happen every night. His father coing home drunk, or sick, or high or angry, that happened quite often, but he had never lifted him up and carried him to his toilet. He had never lifted him up and carried him anywhere. Usually, he would hide in his room, under the thin blanket that Shippou slept in now and close his eyes and tuck his knees in close to his body, praying that he could just be forgotten about, just this one night, and avoid a beating for a little while.

Something about seeing someone one is so used to fearing, or hating, or being controlled by lie on the floor; powerless, defenseless, reduced to a state of total inability makes the heart change in strange ways.

The mans arms grasped the edge of the porcelain bowl, fingers curling and unfurling, chest heaving, mouth spewing fluid, back shaking with each cough, and rumbling with each groan. Inu Yasha kneeled down beside him as the man seemed to have stopped throwing up and placed a hand on his shaking back. "Are you okay?" he asked softly, yet sternly.

The man stared at the dirty water in the bowl for a while then stared up at Inu Yasha. He didnt look him in the eyes, but instead stared at his chest. After a few coughs racked his chest he wheezed a weak but audible reply 

"Your hair ... looks like shit." For some reason, the insult seemed incredibly comical, perhaps because of how strangely out of place it was. He didn't reply, only brushed a strand away from his face. The man coughed a few times more and he could hear the phlegm and fluid shift inside his throat. "Y'ever gonna cut that shit?"

"Maybe." he ventured softly. He figured he should at least answer questions.

"Good." he wheezed and then was racked with another set of rough coughs. "Its goddamned ... long." Inu Yasha continued to stare at him with the same stoic, calm gaze he had been wearing since he got home as the man faced the toilet water.

"Where the fuck you've been?" he asked, though it seemed like one big word by the way he asked it.

"My friends." he said simply.

"Oh yeah. ... That Kagome there? Was she there? Tell me was she-" His sentence was interrupted as he heaved another mass of bubbling orange fluid into the bowl.

"I saw her."

"That's one pretty girl, nice fucking broad too. You should have her over. Why don't she come to dinner?" the man told him shakily even though he was speaking to his emptied stomach contents.

"No."

"Whu... Whythefuck not?" he muttered with his hand over his mouth, wiping the vomit from his cheeks and lips.

"Too dirty."

"What? This house not clean enough for you? You been doing your chores, right? It's your job to clean this piece of crap, so long as you stay the fuck outta my room."

"I do."

"Yea. I know you do, atta good kid. Now you run along and go call that girl. Tell her she's coming to eat food here. I'll even cook the shit myself." he mumbled. "I'll make 'er pasta er meat or ... or I dunno, whateverthefuck she wants ... I don't mind cooking if it's for her ... she's a nice girl, you gotta make more friends like that ..." He continued in that manner as Inu Yasha hooked his arm around the mans back and lifted him up. He ranted about food that he would cook all the way back to his bed. Inu Yasha gingerly set the man down on the mattress and he instantly fell backwards, collapsinng into a tired, sick mass. His eyes closed and he pulled a pillow towards his head. "nice girl ... nice nice nice ..." he mumbled almost incoherently as he fell asleep. 

Inu Yasha pulled the comforter at one end slowly to the other, draping it over the man's body. Then, for some reason, he found he was unable to leave his side. A sudden wave of fear came over him and he knelt by the bedside. He reached his hand out towards the mans back and it shook and trembled as it came so close he could feel the warmth off of the man's shoulder. It came down slowly and the very tips of his fingers grazed the shirt fabric. His hand instantly recoiled and he tightly gripped the fingertips that had touched his father, as if they were burnt from the touch.

His eyes remained fixed on the back of his head, turned away from him, for a while after that as he massaged his hands together. His face remained as stoic as it had all night. He rose to his feet slowly, silently.

"Good night." he whispered and turned away, retreating to his own bed.


End file.
